Author: Hope Eghagha

  • The return of President Donald Trump – Hope Eghagha

    The return of President Donald Trump – Hope Eghagha

    One of the much vaunted and supposedly sacrosanct features of democracy according to America, is the power of the people and the inviolability of the ballot box in choosing who leads the country. Added to this is a smooth transition of power from one administration to another even where there is a ‘hostile takeover’, that is, when the Democrats defeat the Republican party candidate or vice versa! So, it was so much out of character when President Donald Trump attempted to truncate a smooth transition when he lost in 2020, unleashing one of the most disturbing and blistering physical attacks on the symbol of government – the Capitol. Four years later, upon returning to the White House, he has pardoned all the violent demonstrators, including those were found guilty of attacking police officers.

    In simple terms, the Donald Trump of January 6 2021 punctured our idealistic notions of the sanctity of American voting system by insisting that the elections were rigged against him. Rigging in America? In the 21st Century? In the bastion of democracy? Is it possible for the entire system to be rigged as we experience in Nigeria to produce a foreknown result? How Donald Trump and his accomplices reacted after Biden was declared winner was a study in a coup attempt and a subversion of the Constitution of America. Trump ought to be an African politician! It showed something though: not even America is immune to the pitfalls of democracy. Before that day we had though that the events of January 6 could only happen in Africa or Latin America. And to think that arch rival to America in global politics, Russia, is also singing the song of Donald Trump being rigged out of the race!

    Of course, America has come a long way in trying to establish the principles and practice of democracy, having gone through years of turbulence in the 18th and 19th centuries. To be sure, we are aware of the 1996 Larry Sabato and Glenn Simpson book Dirty Little Secrets: The Persistence of Corruption in American Politics in which the authors stated that Democrats ‘featured prominently in almost all of the instances of fraud in the 19th and 20th century, although Republicans were also fully capable of fraud when circumstances permit. Wikipedia says that ‘Electoral fraud was prevalent in the US during the 19th century when safeguards against fraud and electioneering were considerably weaker, and political machines wielded significantly more power…voter fraud was so common that it developed its own vocabulary. ‘Colonizers’ were groups of bought voters who moved en masse between wards! This could have been a description of electioneering in Nigeria in the 21st century. American has since gone beyond this stage!

    President Trump’s re-election and subsequent events like pardoning all those felons who tried to stop the process by attacking the Capitol have contribute, in my view, to the unravelling of America. Rather than making America great, the second coming of Trump shows a great decline in the moral strength of the shinning light or City-set-on-a-hill America. Which is sad. Watching from the sidelines we are puzzled that the legal/judicial system waited for Trump to win or lose the election before taking action. Can this be extended to ordinary citizens? The subtext is that a man who is popular in politics should not go to jail, even if he committed a criminal act. Some justice! Some democracy!

    A felon now sits in the White House as President of America! Picture this and dwell on the implication of such an anomaly on the very basis of the United States. Political crooks and demagogues around the world now have a godfather and model in America. It would seem that the people do not care about the law or the power of the jury system. It would seem that justice is seen from the point of view of the majority. How else can we interpret the laid-back position of the judges in handling the palpably criminal offences of Donald Trump as proved in the court system? This is really American wonder!

    Also unraveled is the partisan nature of the American media. It is now clear that those ideas of independence and freedoms which they have propounded in mass media studies are hogwash. The judiciary is not independent. While Donald Trump and Kamala Harris were jostling for the American presidency late last year, the dominant narrative from cable television was that the race was a tight one. There were projections of a fifty/fifty outcome. Some even attributed victory to Kamala Harris. CNN turned out to be blatantly partisan. Fox News has remained foxy.

    But on 5th November, the American people spoke. They spoke in clear terms. They were tired with the Democrats, and perhaps the way Kamala Harris emerged as the flagbearer. Also, the Supreme Court of America cannot be looked up to for justice because justice is based on perspective – the perspective of the conservatives and the perspective of liberals. Facts are skewed in the direction of the majority. The politicization of the judicial system is not a sign of greatness.

    It is in messianic terms that some ardent supporters of Donald Trump view his second coming to the White House. This is made more poignant by the near martyrdom which he went through twice in the course of the campaigns. God must have a reason for saving his life. He must cleanse America of the prurient filth unleashed by the ungodly and immoral Democrats. A House member has introduced a bill that will make it possible for Trump to run a third term! I thought this was possible only in Africa! This is dangerous for a man who had declared that he would like to govern as a dictator. Little wonder Democrats campaigned with the theme of Donald Trump is a threat to democracy. Obviously, voters did not buy that narrative. But the threat is there.

    Some of his pronouncements have resonated with the Christian community. For the next four years all the nonsense going on about transgender will take a backseat in American society. It is ridiculous to expend state funds on persons who want a sex change, even for kids who are not allowed to vote or take alcohol. Evangelicals see this as a devilish anti-God agenda. His anti-immigrants’ rhetorics are palpably racist. But the cheerleaders are egging him on because it was a campaign promise. On the world stage, Israel has agreed to negotiate. There is a ceasefire to honour Trump, embarrass Biden. By the way, how would it have sounded if President Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris boycotted the handover ceremony as Trump did in 2021?

    President Donald Trump sits in the White House. He is no messiah. He is a businessman, a hardcore capitalist who has visions of a great America for the rich. He has won the election. Can he win in governance? The next four years will tell. So, Trump is on trial. When he is done with attacking his predecessor, the people – friends and foe -, the world would begin to judge how much impact he has made in making America great again. Time will tell!

  • A Speaker speaks no more and other matters – By Hope Eghagha

    A Speaker speaks no more and other matters – By Hope Eghagha

    Banji: A Speaker Speaks No More!

    Rita: How poetic! How dramatic!

    Uyi: How decisive! Now there will be peace in the world!

    Rita: Excuse me. Now you are being sarcastic!

    Uyi: In a world of absurdities, it is sarcasm that keeps one sane!

    Rita: It has been poetic to me, anyway. That’s my opinion.

    Banji: What is poetic? The language or the experience?

    Rita: Both, I believe. Lessons in hubris. The power of power, the failure of power. The wheel came full circle for a man consumed by innate arrogance.

    Banji: One of the lessons of power. A recurring one.

    Rita: But man never seems to learn. He has always been a victim of pride and will continue to be forever and ever.

    Uyi: But you have both joined the bandwagon and pronounced the man guilty without giving him fair hearing. Why was he impeached while he was away to the United States?

    Banji: Hahahaha! To reduce bloodshed, perhaps, you know! To prevent counter forces from laying an ambush.

    Rita: Does it matter really?

    Banji: But speaking seriously, why didn’t Strongman Mudasiru Obasa get wind of his impending fall and rally his troops?

    Rita: He was strong only when the forces of power allowed him to be. This, he didn’t realize. Now, he can’t disburse any largesse. His visitors will be very few now.

    Rita: Besides, did he have troops? I think he had offended too many people in the long ten years in power, from June 2015 to January 2025. He is alleged to have routinely disrespected the governor.

    Uyi: He must have been a fool if he did that. State-appointed or elected officials must know the difference between the man and the office. The occupant is a tenant, but the seat is forever. A Speaker who disrespects the Governor disrespects the people, disrespects the entire Executive branch of government.

    Okoro: Then why did he last for so long in that position?

    Banji: Very many reasons. He was simply indulged by the powerful persons in government. The report is that when he offended the inner caucus of the governance in the state, he had to go. It is said that on the cabinet list last presented by the governor, he pushed, shoved, blocked, and shook up the list until they made concessions. He even initially rejected a candidate who was backed by Abuja.

    Uyi: In my view, if a man is accused of an offence, he must be given the opportunity to defend himself according to the articles of impeachment.

    Banji: Impeachment is essentially a political process; not a legal one. That is to say, once the establishment declares you unfit, they will cook, manufacture, import, and concoct reasons to get you out. Fair hearing is not part of the bargain!

    Rita: Let us consider all the impeachments in our nation’s history, starting from Alhaji Balarabe Musa’s experience in 1981 in the Second Republic. Balarabe Musa was in an impossible position because the House of Assembly was NPN-dominated while he was in PRP. They could not agree on a list of Commissioners. To throw him out, he was accused of corruption though that man was above board. Ayo Fayose in 2006, Peter Obi in 2006, Joshua Dariye in 2006, Oyo State governor Rashidi Ladoja in 2006, Bayelsa State Diepreye Alamieyeseigha in 2005, and Murtala Nyako of Adamawa state 2014 were all victims of impeachment.

    Okoro: Since 1999, about sixteen deputy governors have been impeached in Nigeria also. From Lagos state we have Femi Pedro and Kofoworola, Iyiola Omisore (Osun) Chris Ekpenyong (Akwa Ibom), Abiodun Aluko and Biodun Olujimi (Ekiti) Garba Gadi (Bauchi). Phillip Shaibu was the 17th deputy governor to be impeached in Nigeria once he fell out with the incumbent governor.

    Rita: Lagos is now on the list of twenty states where speakers have been impeached since 1999. Victor Idoro in Edo State was removed in 2016 by 16 of 24 members. He had been accused of highhandedness. Significantly he was replaced by a female speaker. Frank Okiye of Edo state in 2020), Rita Madunagu of Anambra in 2018, Adamu Musa of Niger State in 2015, and Goni Ali Modu of Borno state in 2012. In 2021, Abok Ayuba was impeached by 16 out of 24 legislators in Plateau state, Abubakar Ibrahim of Gombe state in 2020. In Delta state, Victor Ochei was removed in 2014 while Monday Igbuya faced the music in 2017. A couple of others were impeached from office. So, it’s not new.

    Uyi: You have become an expert in the history of impeachments!

    Rita: Hahahahaha! I’m a journalist, so, I should know.

    Okoro: Impeachments have nothing to do with justice. It is a political weapon that is deployed to get rid of a political liability. Period.

    Banji: Loyalty is important in politics in Nigeria.

    Okoro: Loyalty my foot! What the Nigerian politician calls loyalty is spurious. It means a mentee or political associate must not hold views that are contrary to the position of so-called godfathers. You will run into problems if you display ambitions not supported by the big oga. The gist around town is that Obasa felt he was strong enough to aspire to the Lagos throne without the support of the powers-that-be.

    Banji: A speaker speaks no more!

    Rita: How are the mighty fallen!

    Uyi: The state governor has distanced himself from the impeachment saga. Claims that the House did its own plans.

    Banji: Tell that to the marines. There is no way a speaker can be impeached without the knowledge and consent of the state governor. A consensus must have been reached in conjunction with the Jagaban in Abuja before the exercise.

    Rita: Whatever they do, they must remember the masses, the ordinary people of the state who need support. Impeachments will not tar the streets. Impeachment will not put food on the table. Impeachment will not increase power supply. Impeachment will not give hope to the poor. It is an intraclass struggle which the real owners of the state will not benefit from. I rest my case!

    Banji: Gbam! Your case is well rested!

  • The BAT presidential media chat – By Hope Eghagha

    The BAT presidential media chat – By Hope Eghagha

    Jolomi: At last President Bola Ahmed Tinubu agreed to participate in the traditional media chat after one and a half years in office. For so long, he simply and stoically ignored jibes about his refusal to speak at some length to the media. Of course, there were all kind of mischievous insinuations bordering on incapacity and inability to sustain prolonged discourse. This no doubt arose from glitches and gaffes during the presidential campaign.

    Obuneme: It was a season of war and blunders were expected!

    Jolomi: You can say that again! At last, we have heard from our president!

    Abubakar: Yes, at last. Better late than never, as they say. I admired his guts and confidence, though I didn’t agree with him on some issues.

    Jolomi: His rather tame and withdrawn predecessor was in office for only seven months when he held the first media chat. He was sworn into office May 29th 2015 and gave the first opportunity to journalists to interrogate him on December 30 2015. For a man who was taciturn, he beat the articulate almost loquacious BAT in terms of first-time engagement.

    Obuneme: But BAT gave a good account of himself. He was very confident and almost dismissive of the probing questions.

    Tega: Almost bordering on arrogance, if I may add, that feeling that he is in charge, he is in control, and that there is nothing anybody can do about it. You know, a take it or leave it attitude and demeanour. That was disturbing to me. The father of the nation ought to appeal to the reason and sentiments of the people, assuring them in a fatherly-tone that the pain is a temporary injury and that there is hope at the end of the tunnel. That empathy was tellingly absent in my considered view. Giving hope is one of the characteristics of good leadership, the kind of leadership which PM Winston Churchill provided for the UK when the devil came pounding that little island in the name of Adolf Hitler. In an apparently hopeless situation, Winston managed to convince the British that ‘we will fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds’. He provided hope in a hopeless situation, against all odds.

    Obuneme: I agree with you, sister. Hope springs eternal in the human breast, wrote Alexander Pope, ‘man never is, but always to be blest!

    Abubakar: Well, our president has spoken. I don’t think the presidential chat should be a mere ritual. It must contain facts. Besides, one should not be in a hurry to media-chat if there is nothing substantial to say!

    Obuneme: Is there any time in which the president of a country will not have something substantial or profound to say? This can only happen if the incumbent is vacuous. BAT by all standards is articulate and can hold contestations of ideas with any group of persons.

    Ebikeme: So, where did all blabablu in the pre-election days come from?

    Rotimi: Was that not a media creation? If indeed he experienced slurred speeches in the pre-election days, it could be the stress of the campaigns. Not an easy time, you know. That agonic ‘emilokan’ speech in Abeokuta in 2022 showed he felt pained that some people who knew the deal were trying to shortchange him. And he cried and asserted from the depths of his soul that it was the turn of the Yoruba and his turn after supporting others to high political offices. For me, that was a turning point.

    Gloria: If we know the objectives of a presidential media chat, we would understand why it took BAT this long to enter the media fray. These chats provide an opportunity for the president to explain his policies, decisions, and actions directly to the public.  It is also an opportunity for the president to share information about his administration’s achievements, challenges, and plans, helping to educate the public and shape public opinion.

    Rotimi: As for me, there are some takeaways from the chat. One is that the interviewers were free, not teleguided by some unseen hands. From the follow-up questions, it was clear that that they were not following a script. Also, BAT made it clear that he does not believe in price controls which one of the interviewers had suggested as a palliative measure. His statement that he does not regret subsidy removal was a highlight, though he sounded insensitive as my sister Tega has pointed out. Yes, he believes in his policies, but there ought to be words of solace.

    Tega: There is too much sorrow in the land that a few words of comfort will not hurt anybody. It is one of the burdens of leadership.

    Ebikeme:  He also declared and I agree with him, that borrowing is not a crime. The real problem is what the government does with borrowed funds. Federal roads are a disgrace. The road between Benin and Warri and some national highways are nightmarish to commuters. Borrowed funds could be used to fix the roads. He defended the tax reforms proposal, showing that he is a master of the finance industry.

    Tega: His stout defence of his military chiefs did not sit well with me. He seems to have given them a blank cheque to do as they please. As far as I am concerned, the security situation has not improved. Whole parcels of land and some communities are still controlled by bandits and terrorists. Some words of ending the insurgency will not harm anybody.

    Rotimi: A Commander-in-Chief does not give orders to his generals in public. What purpose will it serve if he tells the nation that he will probe the military? Grandstanding? He will simply destroy their morale. The president has enough resources to know all happenings in the military without a probe. A probe is suggestive of wrongdoing, lack of confidence in the generals. Why don’t we focus on the positive part of his presentation lie saying that he has met the nation’s obligations without depending on funds from NNPCL?

    Gloria: How then has he financed the economy? Borrowing?

    Abubakar: Through ways and means. As long as he does not run foul of the law, let him do what it takes to take us out of this mess.

    Gloria: Do you really believe he can get Nigeria out of the mess?

    Rotimi: He has promised to get us out.

    Ebikeme: With the level of corruption going on?

    Abubakar: The Western democracies have grown despite corruption.

    Tega: I don’t like the way he handled the stampedes and deaths issue. He put the blame squarely on the organizers.

    Obuneme: Yes, he did. He answered the question out of context by referencing America and food stamps. The questioner meant that the hardship in the country led to the rise of individual efforts. In other words, address the hardship and there will be no need for palliatives.

    Rotimi: What did Christ say? The poor will always be with us. There will always be need for palliatives!

    Tega: It is true according to Mr. President that ‘reforms are not meant to inflict pain, that they are necessary for growth. But it is also true that the reforms have caused pain for millions of Nigerians. I can hardly buy my medications now. I have removed chicken from the weekly menu in the house. Rice is out of reach. I have parked my car, used only during weekends. This is hard on me. People don’t have enough transport money to go to work. There are too many family members who ask for help these days. So, Mr. President, the reforms are killing us. Try and connect with the people from what you say and do. Don’t be so distant. Even military dictator IBB tried to connect with the people each them he tinkered with the price of petrol.

  • Much ado about defamation – By Hope Eghagha

    Much ado about defamation – By Hope Eghagha

    The Nigerian public space is currently dominated by a defamation brouhaha, with some alluding to a David and Goliath scenario, with either a fight-to-finish or a crushing, decimation outcome. The matter is subjudice; so, I am not going to dwell on specifics. The insinuations in the ongoing case are not healthy, and as some have suggested, all parties in the conflict would certainly go away with bloodied noses when the dust finally settles! My thesis statement is this: the pungent odour which follows defamation suits do not easily go away. In the court of public opinion, David is always right in the fight against Goliath.

    Defamation! A powerful world. Even scary. To be defamed could cause one great embarrassment, especially if one is a public figure. Defamation is defined as ‘communication to a third party of false statements about a person that injure the reputation of or deter others from associating with that person’. It is also defined as ‘when a person makes an untrue statement about another individual, either verbally (slander) or in writing (libel), to a third party and the statement causes the individual damage’. To win a defamation case, one must prove that there was a false statement, that the statement caused one injury, that the statement was published, and that the statement was not made under privilege.

    One of the earliest cases of defamation in North America happened in 1656. One Sarah Bridgman accused her neighbour Mrs. Mary Parsons of witchcraft. Can you beat that? Witchcraft. Mary’s husband sued Sarah for defamation and the court ruled in Mary’s favour and she was asked to make a public apology, pay a fine, and court costs. It is said that though Mary was cleared again twenty years later of witchcraft, rumours of witchcraft continued to follow the couple even after the moved to another city. This case reminds me of two good friends in my secondary school days who fell out and one accused the other of witchcraft. Both ladies were said to have gone to a ‘babalawo’s’ house to disprove or prove witchcraft. The story is that the baba confirmed witchcraft in one of them, an accusation which she denied. The smell of witchcraft went with the beautiful Miss A throughout our school days. Indeed, all friends avoided her till we left school. I do not know whether this foul accusation is what has prevented Ms A from featuring in any post-secondary school event, some forty-five years after the incident. No one seems to know Miss A’s location.

    In 2022, movie star Johnny Depp sued his ex-wife actress Amber Head because she defamed him in a Washington Post article in which she insinuated that her ex had been a violent spouse. She didn’t mention his name but anyone who read the essay knew that her husband was the target and subject. Depp lost out on several job opportunities on account of the article. His suit in a Virginia court was successful. The jury awarded ten million dollars ‘punitive and compensatory’ costs against Amber because it was established that ‘portions of the article were defamatory to the plaintiff’.

    In Britain, actor Tom Cruise was the victim of libel, this time by a newspaper, The Daily Express which alleged that ‘Tom Cruise got married to Nicole Kidman because they wanted to mask their sexuality and of course adhere to the Church of Scientology, who had apparently arranged the whole thing’. The newspaper also alleged that Tom was ‘impotent and sterile! How could they prove that these hurtful and damaging allegations were true? In the end, the newspaper apologised to the couple and paid an ‘undisclosed six-figure sum.

    In 2022, a Federal University Dutse student Aminu Adamu Mohammed was arrested after the spouse of then President Muhammadu Buhari, Hajia Aisha filed a complaint to the police alleging defamation. Aminu had tweeted a message which the complainant found uncomplimentary. The international outcry on social media brought undue attention to the presidency, and everyone wondered why Madam did not ignore that post. Aminu was detained for two weeks in harsh conditions. Aminu was released in December of 2022 on compassionate grounds after he apologised to the complainant. It is interesting that NANS demanded an apology from Hajia Buhari for beating up their member while in custody!

    In the case of Bakare and Ishola, two men who were involved in a fight, one of the parties was found guilty of libel because in the heat of an argument, the defendant had called the other in the presence of observers, ‘a thief, ex-convict, and someone who just came out of prison’. The court held that the words indeed ‘vulgar abuse!

    To be defamed one must have a reputation, a name. Obscure people do not respond to defamation. Some people are so embarrassed and humiliated by such libelous statements that they simply disappear from their social circles. For example, in a small group or association, a married woman who is rumoured to be having affair with another man cannot wash away the dirt-image, even if the allegation is not factual. Some just melt away, nursing their wounds. In our local social, cultural, and religious communities, people fight slandering allegations through established channels. Most do not go to court. A prolonged court matter could expose more terrible things or bring the whole matter to the attention of those who were not aware of the matter ab initio.

    The emergence of social media has introduced new dimensions to defamation, libel, and slander, especially by faceless persons who generate false information and have others make such posts viral. There have been too many reputations ruined by false information circulated on social media. A slandered person does not find it funny.

    The laws on libel are designed to protect the innocent. In our circumstances, political office holders are fair game for slanderous and libelous statements. There are always exaggerations and distortions in allegations against the high and mighty in society. The political atmosphere permits it. However, in Nigeria, the powerful persons in power can use state machinery against anybody who dares to criticise them or call them to account. Decree 4 of 1984 promulgated by Major General Buhari, stated that ‘any person who publishes in any form, whether or written or otherwise, any message, rumour or statement or report which is false in any material particular or which is calculated to bring the federal military government … to ridicule shall be guilty’.

    The best advice is: truth is generally the best vindication against slander. Some people have heeded the advice by a philosopher: if evil is spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself; if it be a lie, laugh at it!

  • As the old year dies, new hopes arise! – By Hope Eghagha

    As the old year dies, new hopes arise! – By Hope Eghagha

    The old year dies. An old year dies. New hopes arise. Twenty-twenty-four will die in days. Never to return. It will go into the abyss. We shall not miss it. Or, most of us will not miss it. It will be remembered as the year of infinite hardship in Nigeria.  A year of hardship in which, in his first media chat, the President, father of the nation said that he doesn’t regret his hard policies. The people are suffering. So be it. They will enjoy the fruits later. No words of comfort. So insensitive. So uncaring. In 1983, then governor of Bendel State, late Professor Ambrose Alli asked hungry, striking teachers whether they wanted him to produce money from his blood! That question sealed his fate. He was voted out at the next election, and the compassionate Samuel Ogbemudia became governor.

    2004! It is the year we will never forget. It is the year of the triumph of the captors of the State. The year that some mothers sold off their children in order to feed. Or to raise capital and trade. Or just to survive. It is a year of full subsidy removal. It is the year when dozens died while queueing for the so-called palliatives. The year gas explosions killed many. The year in which bandits took control of parts of a state, while soldiers were busy killing innocent citizens in Okuama, Delta State.  It is the year when bandits seized whole families. It is the year of slander, of defamation, and near-violent reprisals. It is the year of sudden deaths because of life’s pressures. The ebullient Onyeka Onwenu died while entertaining guests. What pains did she bear? It is the year where psychiatric wards were filled with patients. Victims of depression. It is the year of the price of rice killed the appetite. It is the year of silence from the House of Men of God. The priests have elected to stay with their chattels in brothels of dishonour while the Feast of death reigns over the land!

    A year lasts three hundred and sixty-five days. Or three hundred and sixty-six days, when it bears the burden of a leap year. Why is a leap year the brother of drowning compatriots? Yet, sometimes a year could seem like forever. A year with slow feet drags us back. Or keeps us still. And we cannot afford to stay motionless on account of a slow year. So, the year must die. It I true that even a sweet year will die.

    What gives life to a year? Things said? Things done? Things undone? A year is potpourri of events. What is not done is part of the spirit of the year. Some years are more powerful than others. They carry with them the power of change. Of fortune. Of failure. Of disaster. Of death. Of life. Of escape. Of exclusion and inclusion. The force of a passing year hits us in different ways. How it comes and from what direction, we are not prophets to tell. So, we grope. We hope. We plod on in hope that the new year will grow vegetables for us even in our dark days. What audacity! What presumptuousness!

    Sometimes we are in a hurry to push the year away. A year that is bad, needs to go away. No one wants to live a permanent nightmare. A bad year kills the spirit. Only the strong ones or the ones favoured by heaven will survive. Those who arrive at their last bus stop will go no further. They will pass away with the spirit and temper of the year. Whose fault is it? The year? The managers of the people, that is, the government? Just providence? In times of an epidemic, it is bad for everybody, even if not all carry the virus. The fear of the virus is enough prison, as it happened during COVId-19.

    A good man can die in a bad year. Just as a bad man can die too with the year. When a year opens its belly to receive your body into the abyss, your hands will be hanging from your sides. And the carriers of the carcass will proclaim how heavy the carcass has become. It is the way of life. It is the road which mankind has travelled on in aeons. Yet, we do not live in humility. We live as if we own life, as if it was not given to us, and that it can be taken away at short notice.

    Yet, how dreadful would it be if we were to live in constant dread of disaster, of disease, and of death! Physical trepidation could injure the heart. Could traumatise one and lead to mental health challenges. The joy of living would disappear. So, we are wired to forget so that we may enjoy the little pleasures of this life. The tragedy or death of a loved one – family, friend, colleague, neighbour – reminds us with a jolt of our mortality, our frail being, our smallness in the mighty scheme of things. We are not different from animals in this sense. There was this Anglican bishop who used to urge politicians to visit the morgue once every year. In his view, that would sober them up for a while. Have you been to the morgue recently to view a loved one? Have you ever been to a morgue? How did you feel even in the most sophisticated and ‘poshest’ morgue? This call to forget and remember at the same time is one of the conundrums of humanity. How we walk the tight rope makes or mar us. Every man his fate, every man his cross, every man his sadness, everyman his death.

    From the sobering morgue experience, we move to the burial site and immediately walt off to the party venue and dance away with zest and gusto, forgetting the dead, remembering only the living. And we have no apology for that. It is the way of life. It is the way of the living. To remember is to cry. To forget is to live on! Contradictory? Yes. The world is filled with contradictions.

    Except we record the events of the year, no one remembers the year. No one can forget 2019/2020, the year of COVID-19! So, the year must give birth. Give birth to etches. Things to remember. Memories are the library of a dead or dying year. What memories do we hold about a year? The dying year 2024 took my closest sibling away. Wish 2024 never came. True that our paths bifurcated on account of social and religious frictions. Yet the bond of eternal brotherhood remains. It is the way of memories. It is the way of life. Regrets often come later, after the event, after the facts.

    Reading this essay is no guarantee that the reader will survive 2024 and enter the belly of 2025. Those who left the earth on 25th December had high hopes. But providence had other plans. January 1st 2025 is coming. But will this coming be the going away of some? We are no prophets to tell! Only time will tell!

    HAPPY 2025!

  • Kemi Badenoch’s bad knocks on Nigeria – By Hope Eghagha

    Kemi Badenoch’s bad knocks on Nigeria – By Hope Eghagha

    One of the interesting proverbs I picked up in our General African Studies (GAS 201) course with the late Professor Jabez Olowo Ojoade in the University of Jos in 1979 was ‘it is a bastard child that points at his homestead with his left hand! The Akan people of Ghana put it this way: a bastard child points to his father’s house with his left hand’. The Yoruba say that ‘a person who points to their homestead with the left hand is not a good person’, while the Luhya of Kenya say that ‘when pointing to your village, use your right hand’. It is in the Swahili language that a sort of generalised use of the left hand is concretised when it says ‘the left hand is for personal hygiene, not for pointing!

    Bastard child! Homestead! Pointing with the left hand! These three constituents and functional parts of the proverb tickled my teenage imagination to no end. What is it about the left had that it should not be used to refer to one’s family? Why is this metaphor common across the continent? Indeed, there must be something about the family, about the homestead, about one’s origins that deserve respect no matter the circumstances.

    By the way, some Nigerians in the Diaspora also point to Nigeria with their left hand. ‘That country’, is often used to describe the place where some spent eighteen or thirty of their lives as they tried to find their feet. So, in a sense, Kemi is simply doing what some full-blooded Nigerians do in reaction to the anomie, which currently rules the land. Kemi stands out because of her delicate and prominent position in the world. We all took offence when Bully Donald Trump referred to ours as ‘shithole countries! At that level, who said what becomes very important, that is, the message is given prominence because of the stature and calibre of the messenger.

    The proverb, according to Wikipedia, is ‘often used to convey that someone who is not respectful or grateful to their roots or heritage will eventually be rejected or ostracised by their community! The left hand, we are told, is for personal hygiene. We don’t use it to give or receive gifts; we don’t use it to serve drinks or for traditionally important functions.

    In the African context, a bastard child is not one who was born out of wedlock or whose father is not known to the family. A bastard child represents a person who is disconnected from their family. Pointing to the family house with the left hand is indicative of disrespect.

    These thoughts flooded my mind when I read recently elected leader of the Conservative Party in the UK, Kemi Badenoch, give some hard and bad knocks to Nigeria, the Nigeria Police, and governance in her Nigeria, her ancestral home. To be sure, nobody who has encountered some men of the Nigeria Police in action can fault Kemi. Her chemistry of being brutally frank is what has taken Kemi to the heights in Conservative Party politics. Whether she can indeed lead the Party to victory in an election is a different kettle of fish. As the potential leader of the British government, all cards will count when push gets to shove. Which is why Kemi should remember that no well-trained child points to the family house with the left hand.

    Nigeria is in process. It is a building site. And we started this project of disparate and different cultures fused together when the British pounced on our ancestors to create Nigeria. We look back to the years when a British monarch, King Henry VIII (1491 to 1547), who ate two of his six wives for breakfast and dinner. Wives Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard were executed by beheading. Jane Seymour died under mysterious circumstances. Perhaps if Diana had emerged in the 15th century as wife to a British monarch, the reigning king would have sent her to the guillotine instead of the tunnel in Paris! Some British monarchs actively participated, supported, and profited from the transatlantic slave trade. British monarchs oversaw the colonisation of indigenous lands in Africa, North America, and Australia, sometimes through genocide! No where in Africa, our dear left-handed and grandly insolent Kemi, would a Prime Minister allow his wife to remain in an adulterous relationship for decades as Harold Macmillan did with wife Lady Dorothy Macmillan. His wife Dorothy remained in an illicit relationship with the bisexual Bob Boothby for decades! This in 20th century Britain!

    We may need to remind Kemi that racism still dominates policing in Britain as it does in much of the Western world. Yet, we have not painted the entire British police system as being racist. Indeed, Kemi, without officialdom around her, can still be profiled by a police officer if she were found driving alone in some areas of London! Her skin colour is not typically British, I dare say. Yet, we have not said that Britain is racist. The ‘how dark’ racist discussions which precipitated Harry and Meghan fleeing the British monarchy is still very fresh and raw in our consciousness; yet, Nigeria’s Vice President has not called the British monarchy a racist institution.

    Time will fail me to discuss the Damilola Taylor case in year 2000 when the Metropolitan Police handling of Taylor’s murder was seen as slow and inadequate due to racial bias. By the way, Damilola was both British and Yoruba like our illustrious and petulant Kemi who believes in giving hard knocks! What about the Stephen Lawrence 1993 murder case which the Metropolitan Police badly handled owing to racial bias? In 1999, Roger Sylvester, a Black man, died in police custody and an inquest showed that the police used excessive force. In 2009, newspaper vendor Ian Tom died after being struck by a police officer during the G20 protests in London. The 1999 Macpherson Report, which investigated the Stephen Lawrence case, concluded that ‘the Metropolitan Police as institutionally racist! As late as 2017, the Lammy Review which was led David Lammy (MP) concluded that “black and minority ethnic individuals were more likely to be stopped and searched, arrested, and imprisoned than their white counterparts! Need I say more?

    So, our dear daughter and bright star Kemi in the British firmament, we shall not point to you with our left hand because in spite of you, you are our daughter. We can only say that the Nigeria Police is in good company of the Empire of the Police system, which was created in 1820 by your progenitors from the other side! Colonial vestiges are not easy to shake off!

  • State of the Nation Conversation (1) – By Hope Eghagha

    State of the Nation Conversation (1) – By Hope Eghagha

    Ejiro: I am amazed that fake news has become part of our national life! Fake news about religion. Fake news about life. Fake news about deaths. Fake news about the economy. Fake news about kidnappings. Fake news about EFCC. Fake news about the police. Fake news about the cost of PMS. Fake news about everything and anything!

    Sowore: Can any news be fake in Nigeria when we have fake leadership? Fake leadership, fake people and fake news about fake people. The leaders of these people cause them to err; and they that are led of them are destroyed!

    Ejiro: Well, I’m not talking about the leadership class. I refer to news about ordinary things and ordinary people. Why do we cook up things and make people believe that they are true? How could anybody generate news about the death of a businessman or politician without any attempt to confirm the news?

    Sowore: Is the business of the businessman not fake? Is the politician not a beneficiary of fake votes?

    Ejiro: Is the situation so hopeless?

    Sarah: The only fake news I read are about politicians and people in power! And it suits them right if we read fake stories about fake people.

    Ejiro: That’s logical in a sense. But does that not negate our moral authority as people who stand for truth, equity, and justice? Because the import of your argument is that evil carried against bad people is right. Evil is evil.

    Sowore: In this battle, fair is foul, and foul is fair!

    Ejiro: So said the immortal Shakespeare.

    Sowore: But speaking seriously, do you think we should act like gentlemen to the clowns in power? The rules of engagement are redefined when in animal territory! Jungle behaviour requires jungle reaction. Our people are too docile. They are waiting for when the government will dash them their rights!

    Calistus: This brings me to the bill currently tearing the National Assembly apart just as it is dividing the nation into north and south. The Bill proposes a new tax reform, which includes a shift to a consumption-based VAT distribution model.

    Musa: Northern governors believe that if passed into law, the north will be disadvantaged. I have not studied the bill, but if a part of the country feels shortchanged, the federal authorities must have a rethink! The revenue sharing formula which is applicable to oil should also apply to VAT.

    Ejiro: Hey! Stop this nonsense. The nation, especially we from the South-south have looked on in utmost chagrin how we have been shortchanged in the country. We produce the mainstay of the economy, yet we have nothing to show for it. Our homeland is decimated by decades of oil exploration. The oil industry is dominated by appointees from the north and southwest. You can hardly find a South-south name in the hierarchy of the oil industry. In the heartland of the Niger Delta, you will find a Musa or a Bankole calling the shots. Injustice. Oppression. Exploitation.

    Sarah: Any state which cannot sustain itself should merge with viable states. Some states do nothing to generate revenue. They wait for the monthly allocation to pay salaries, rehabilitate roads, and service their girlfriends. The groundnut pyramids are gone. In Zamfara, they are prospecting for gold without recourse to the national purse. Zamfara government is cashing in on this. But when it comes to oil, all the monkeys in the federation descend on the Niger Delta with ferocious eyes!

    Sowore: We need to restructure the country!

    Sarah: It’s so easy to say. When they get to the seat of power, they begin to sing a new song!

    Sowore: I beg your pardon! Have I been in power before?

    Sarah: See your countryman who was so vocal about restructuring Nigeria. Now he occupies the powerful seat in Aso Rock, he has kept quiet about state police, creation of local governments!

    Ejiro: There is something about power that blinds people from reality. Even President Goodluck Jonathan could not take a single step on restructuring. He couldn’t even implement the recommendations of the Confab which he set up.

    Calistus: Their hands are tied!

    Musa: They lack conviction. The quest for power is not a tea party!

    Sarah: Some people use power to oppress others. See the way Farotimi was grabbed and thrown into jail because he defamed some big shot.

    Musa: Why should he defame anybody by the way if he is a rights’ activist? He must mind his language at all times.

    Sarah: But they should follow the law. Defamation is both criminal and civil I am told.

    Sowore: Yes, defamation is both criminal and civil. He could have been invited by the police and interrogated. But the abduction is a different matter. If we do not cry out when things like this happen, they will be encouraged to do more havoc. They want to silence all of us.

    Ejiro: That’s not possible. The military did not succeed; is it bloody civilians that can muzzle us? By the way ASUU has not gone on strike for some time now. Thank God.

    Musa: They must be preparing for another one. Dictator Buhari gave them a bloodied nose and they have scampered off the scene tail between legs.

    Calistus: Do you mean Buhari gave education a bloodied nose? The degree of apathy in university teaching can only be imagined. The wage structure of academics is humiliating.

    Musa: The academics caused it. Rather concentrate on the salary regime of their colleagues, they were interested in idealistic nonsense such as stabilization fund, excess workload and hazard allowance. Your take-home pay is the real coco for a worker. That’s how they fought for TETFUND and the government-appointed bureaucracy hijacked it from them. TETFUND is now a cesspit of corruption!

    Sarah: Look here young man. Can you prove that TETFUND is a cesspit of corruption? Don’t carry on like Farotimi ooo in his diatribe against Baba Afe!

    Musa: By the way, what is the brouhaha between Baba Afe and Farotimi the rabblerouser?

    Sarah: Is that what you call him? Rabblerouser? Ok o! I expect fireworks in the court. The matter is subjudice, so I will use the excuse of my rotten teeth to keep my mouth shut decently.

    Calistus: What happens if Farotimi produces evidence to substantiate his allegations in the open court?

    Ejiro: Breeze go blow and the anus of the fowl will become public property!

    Musa: In a court run by men and women he has routinely derided? Do you expect justice?

    Sarah: Enough of this matter. The judges will summon us for publishing a conversation about the matter before them.

    Musa: It is not that bad yet! Remember that the President is a die-hard democrat! He entered the trenches for our sakes under Abacha!

    Ejiro: Hmmmm! I reserve my comment!

  • A conversation about hunger – By Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha

    A conversation about hunger – By Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha

    Uyi: There’s hunger in the land. Ebi pa wa! People can barely feed. Inflation is creating havoc on our salaries! People are dying like flies because of depression. Too many suicides are taking place. Those claim it was their turn to rule, let them now say that it is their turn to feed the nation. How much longer can this go on?

    Dedan: Bloomberg says that two out of three Nigerian households are going hungry. Families skip meals as they cannot afford enough food. The report says that ‘the number of households not having enough food to eat because of lack of money doubled to 62.4% in 2023 from 37% in 2019.

    Bisi: I read the report too. It also says that ‘12,3% reported that at least one person in the household went without eating for a whole’, and that food inflation peaked at a near-three-decade high 41% in June. About 21% of households rely on help from friends or relatives.0 Yet the men and women in the corridors of power are having a field day with stolen and embezzled funds. The opulence in the National Assembly is an insult to all of us. God, how long will this continue?

    Dedan: What about the states? Some of the governors live like emperors. Their word is law. They control both the judiciary and the legislature. Some of them spend money as if prudence has gone out of fashion.

    Obi: How long? Until the deadly reforms are over, bear fruit or are stopped!

    Bisi: We need a Moses to deliver us from Egypt! A Moses Lord, give us a Moses!

    Dedan: Egypt, Moses, Pharoah! There must be emancipation of the masses from the hands of our oppressors.

    Uyi: Who can stop the reforms? Who will stop the reforms?

    Obi: The people! The hungry people of the land. The ones who complain that there is no food for them and their children!

    Uyi: Which people? The cowards of Nigeria who run under the skirts of their parents at the sound of a gunshot! They may complain. But they have not been angry enough to act. They are taking refuge in religion and platitudes.

    Dedan: Do not speak about the people in such disparaging terms. The longsuffering people of Nigeria have been too patient. Now, they need a real leader to mobilize them against the misrule in the land.

    Obi: Tell me something else! Spin another story jor. Except we fight for our rights, the rulers of the land will continue to mess with our lives.

    Dedan: That is true. But you ae able to speak like this because you live outside the country. You have found a home in America, and you think all of us are cowards. Just move back and stay in the country for one year. You will sing a new song.

    Obi: Isn’t that why I left? The hardship was unbearable. If you remember, I left in January 1983 when two blind generals seized power.

    Bisi: I remember those horrible days when you could be jailed for publishing a true news report that embarrassed the junta!

    Orezi: I am tired of this plenty of grammar. Let us focus on the price of garri, rice, palm oil, and fish. What can we do to let poor women like me to get food for my family. My husband has mortgaged his monthly salary to loans from the cooperative. I am virtually the bread winner of the family. How much do I earn? They promised a minimum wage of 70k per month. It exists only in the papers. Who should I cry to for help? Who? I have an aged mother in Warri who must feed and buy her medication. Who have I offended?

    Dedan: You have brought us down to real issues. What have we done to deserve such punishment from the man whom we elected to rule? Why this wickedness?

    Bayo: It is not wickedness my friends; it is not wickedness. It is one of the pains which we must bear to reform Nigeria. I feel the bite. I feel the pain. Do you know how many family members who ask for financial assistance these days? But what else could the government have done than to stop the subsidy regime?

    Dedan: You have spoken well, Mr. Subsidy Remover! Thank you. The only thing you didn’t say was how you expect the people to survive this harsh economy. Do you know how many people who forfeit their medication these days because of the high cost? Do you know how many children who go to bed these days without food in their stomachs? Look here, I am speaking about the reality on the ground. This is no theory.

    Bayo: But the tough measures were necessary. Our economy was on the verge of a total breakdown. President Tinubu had to act. You can see that he kept the decision under wraps, because it was not included in the written speech on inauguration day. We must commend him for taking the bull by the horn.

    Dedan: Check out governments all over the world which embark on reforms. They usually create shock absorbers for the people. Where is the succour? Even the military dictator IBB immediately announced palliatives when he removed subsidies. We could see that government trying very hard to pacify the people. President Jonathan did the same thing, though the current president took to the streets to insult and attack him. But in the case of current man in Aso Rock, there is no connection with the people

    Bisi: He has appointed ten spokespersons to speak for him. Ten!

    Dedan: What has happened to his mouth? Can’t he address the people directly? Can’t he visit the states and engage the people?

    Bayo: The man is unwell; we have to show some understanding.

    Dedan: If you cannot stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. A man who has serious health challenges should not aspire to national leadership. That is the reason in traditional African societies; a man who had any deformity was barred from being king.

    Bisi: But he is trying. He is trying to repair the damage that was done in the last sixty years. Bubu did not have the gumption to implement the reforms. He left it to BAT to carry the can, and therefore a bad name.

    Dedan: Bad name or good name, what we want is action. Reuters says that 33 million Nigerians face hunger next year. Low wages, continued conflict, climate change, high food prices, and unemployment are the causes.

    Orezi: Bubu did not have the heart to unleash more terror because he had killed the spirit of Nigeria. He was demystified when his policies failed woefully. Pure and simple!

    Dedan: Let us begin to make suggestions on how to reduce hunger and poverty. Let there be subsidy on rice, garri, wheat, and amala. Let there be price control measures on basic food items. Let the government shore up domestic production for export. We need to shore up the naira. The devaluation shouldn’t have taken place without a plan in place to strengthen the naira. Social safety net programmes such as cash transfers and food subsidies are important.

    Bayo: But the government is doing cash transfers; about 25 million people have benefited from the scheme.

    Orezi: That is what the government says. But how many people really benefit from it? Do you know anybody who has received the cash transfers? Has it not become another source of corruption? Twenty-five million is a small figure. One hundred million peoples should be brought into the scheme to make an impact.

    Bisi: They should tell Mr. President to come to our aid. He is the father of the country. When children are hungry, they run to their parents. This is the time for the father of the nation to do something about the high cost of everything. I can’t buy my medicines for diabetes and hypertension because suddenly the prices have gone beyond my salary.

    Uyi: This is the case with everybody. In my home state, we are hungry for a governor who can read simple sentences without stumbling. A man that cannot make correct sentences or can hardly read a speech, how can be provide a solution to our problems!

    Dedan: You have come again o! We are talking about food, and you are talking about reading sentences. The one who could read very well, what did he do for your state?

  • The path not chosen – By Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha

    The path not chosen – By Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha

    In life, the ideal is for us to choose our pathway to the future, even if blindly, but sometimes our paths are chosen for us or prepared for us or charted for us. Chosen for us by parents, mentors, friends, religious leaders, and political, cultural and social circumstances. Sometimes our path is imposed on us by guardians – both physical and spiritual. David the Shepherd boy in the Bible had no ambition to be king or kill Goliath! Joseph the dreamer did not choose the path to become Prime Minister of Egypt.

    It is true that a path chosen for us by another person could stultify growth or limit the height one can attain. In Nigeria, JAMB and the vagaries of the system can impose a future career path on individuals! We have seen potential medical doctors who ended up as lab technicians.

    When our path is chosen for us, it could be complex and challenging. Parental or familial pressure could become high, and we could be expected to conform with a particular lifestyle. If society chooses for us, cultural or community expectations can dictate one’s choices. Some people believe that destiny or fate could inform life choices, often beyond the control of the person who is making the choices. There is the bigger picture of arguing that our choices are predetermined and that no matter what we say, what will be will be.

    Our personal preferences, sometimes, also play a role in what we become later in life. An early decision on career choice, for example, could point the needle in a particular direction. Some start off well and take a plunge before middle age. One of the prayers we make while making choices is: may we not make a choice that will ruin us. And so, parents pray for their children ‘not to travel when the road waits, famished!

    Prayers! We often invest in prayers before choosing a path out of two or three choices. A prayer made to God requires an answer. For weighty decisions, some take to fasting and prayer and set themselves apart for a week or two, until they hear from God. How do we know the path which God has blessed after the period of waiting? While some look for signs, others claim that God has provided an answer in their heart. Some people believe in predestination. That, whatever we become is what we were destined to become. That indeed, there are no choices. That, when we believe we are making choices, we have been tailored from Heaven to make such a choice. But for me, if whatever we do or become is destined by Heaven, the world would be an unjust place!

    To be sure, some choices appear easier to make than others. Some are more attractive in the short run. As a young person setting out in the world, it is believed that there is not enough information or experience to guide one. It is also important to state that when we make a choice about a course of study in the university, we are already charting a course for the future. Indeed, the path chosen starts taking shape when we decide on the choice of subjects in secondary school. A student who is inclined to the sciences should opt for the relevant subjects. It is also true that a student who is good at the arts could be compelled to take the science route because of parental influence.

    Life choices are often made early though we may not appreciate their importance at the time the choice was made. How do we know that that decision to travel to the next town could have a life-long effect on our future? The decision to school in one place at the expense of another could frame the success or failure of the decision maker. The choice of a partner in marriage is also fundamental life. A bad choice could upset the early phase of life. A good choice could guarantee stability, harmony, and success. A happy marriage is often the result of the choices which we make before and during the marriage.

    The Path Not Chosen! For every path we take, there are other paths not taken. Some people take a path and make a success of it. It could be a career path, type of business, relocation or whatever. The choice we make has an impact on our future success or failure.

    What informs the choices that we make in education, job-type, location of abode, religion, and marriage? Who guides our choices at the different stages of life? What is the role of God in our personal choices? Is fate a factor in the path that we take? When an apparently excellent choice ends in disaster, who do we hold responsible? In our environment, how powerful are the dark forces of nature in career path and success?

    Nations, like individuals and institutions also choose a path. Democracy is all about choices. The ballot box ought to determine who becomes the winner of an election. But often the will of the people is subverted. In our clime, we have found governors imposed on the electorate by a tiny minority sitting as judges. We have also found figures altered to give a different result than what the people voted for. Also, wrong choices have long term effects on national growth. In 1979, as a nation, we rejected the pragmatic, energetic, and visionary in Chief Obafemi Awolowo and settled for the less ambitious and tame primary school teacher Alhaji Shehu Shagari to lead the country. Within five years, the military struck and sacked that government because of ineptitude. Who knows what would have become of Nigeria if Chief Awolowo had been given the chance to lead Nigeria for four years and repeat the miracle which he facilitated as Premier of the western Nigeria? No one knows. Only Heaven knows!

    Wrong or imposed choices could lead to powerlessness, regret – wondering what could have been if one had a choice to make a choice. Wrong choices can also lead to stress, self-doubt, and misery. Conversely, it can also lead to happiness if all the other variables work in favour of the choice, and if there is the determination to beat all the odds and triumph. In all of this, determination to succeed and hard work are crucial.

    Whatever choice we make, we must recognize the influence of external factors, identify our passions and personal values, embrace the journey even if the path was not chosen by us, develop self-awareness, develop resilience and adaptability in the journey. When individuals are compelled to bend to the will of a few, it kills the spirit of independence. Any individual who hopes to succeed in life must have a plan, detailed or vague and try to follow through. Often, divine providence steps in to help those who believe and who try to live life along the true path!

  • My friends, where is Yahaya Bello? – By Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha

    My friends, where is Yahaya Bello? – By Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha

    Ufuoma: I am worried about the decadence that has eaten deep into the fabric of our country. No institution is spared. The executive arm. The legislature. Religious bodies. The judiciary. The media. The security agencies. Everything has been contaminated to frightening proportions.

    Ukadike: Are you saying anything new?

    Ufuoma: What do you mean?

    Ukadike: Is there a new occurrence that has prompted your worry? The decline started decades ago!

    Rekiya: Our sister here must tell us what happened last night. Did the owl cry to your hearing?

    Ufuoma: My friends, where is Yahaya Bello erstwhile governor of Kogi state?

    Ukadike: Who is Yahaya Bello?

    Ufuoma: Have you forgotten him so soon?

    Ukadike: Are you referring to the cowardly fugitive?

    Rotimi: Hahahahahaha! I laugh in Yoruba! Have you forgotten the state governor whose ADC was a beautiful female police officer with a distended anatomy?

    Ufuoma: It is not a laughing matter my friend. And please desist from body shaming a decent police officer.

    Rotimi: Body shaming? Nothing like that. I was only emphasizing her beautiful frontal and read assts which may have qualified her to be the chief protector of a serving governor. Such a man cannot be described as cowardly!

    Ufuoma: I take exception to your sexist remarks!

    Rotimi: My apologies, please! But the real question is: my friends, where is Yahaya Bello?

    Eket: You remind me of military president Ibrahim Babangida asking then IGP Etim Inyang publicly ‘My friend, where is Anini? A very embarrassing approach to governance.

    Ukadike: IBB and his Maradona style!

    Rotimi: But it produced results! Before long Anini the common bloody robber was arrested in Benin and publicly executed.

    Rekiya: I remember that incident like yesterday. Anini controlled the state while his reign of terror lasted. He killed with impunity. He struck wherever he chose to. But when the Commander-in-chief intervened directly, the Police high command knew they had to act. It turned out that Anini was receiving protection from one DSP Iyamu!

    Ufuoma: So, I ask again: where is Yahaya Bello? Do you understand me? Yahaya Bello was governor of a state for eight years. After his years in office, the EFCC invited him for questioning over fraud allegations. He has so far not honoured the invitation. A report surfaced that he visited EFCC office along the line but was asked to go. A former governor running away from the law! It’s disgraceful. No honour. No sense of decency. So far, he has not showed up at EFCC or in a competent court of law to defend himself. So, where is Yahaya Bello?

    Ukadike: He is hiding. He could even be inside a Government House for all we know. Look here, I do not believe that the DSS or other security agencies do not know his hiding place. Does ne not make calls? Are policemen not attached to him? There is a mischievous game going on, and this undermines the integrity of the country.

    Rotimi: Integrity? Do we have any of that left? The fugitive is acting like a petty thief, a robber like Anini who hid himself from the law until the federal authorities decided to act.

    Ufuoma: The EFCC is a federal agency.

    Rotimi: Then he is not a fugitive. He is a protected citizen!

    Ufuoma: Why? How? A fugitive is a person who has committed a crime or is accused of committing a crime and is evading law enforcement. And the law states that a fugitive can be arrested anywhere, anytime.

    Rotimi: Indeed, the scoundrel is hiding in plain sight! There is no indication that he is outside the country.

    Rekiya: The same question can be asked about other institutions in the country. For example, where is the Minister of Finance?

    Rekiya: Where is the governor of Central Bank?

    Rotimi: My friend, where is the governor of your state?

    Ufuoma: Where is the Chairman of your Local Government?

    Rekiya: Where is the head of the Nigeria Army? Why has the terror group ‘Lukarawas’ taken over some LGs in Sokoto State?

    Rotimi: Why do we always focus on the federal government and ignore state governors?

    Ufuoma: Questions! Questions!

    Ukadike: We want answers! Local Government chairmen are glorified messengers. The presidency is currently having a running battle with state governors to make them accountable to the federal government. There is a ruling that all allocations meant for the local Governments should go to them directly. It is a contravention of the spirit of federalism. The incumbent president fought President Obasanjo on this principle. Now he is on the presidential saddle has made a u turn! What is going on?

    Eket: The people who can give us answers are not here! They will read all the questions. So, let us continue to ask probing questions!

    Rotimi: I am baffled that Yahaya has refused to submit himself to the law. What has become of all former governors who were accused of fraud? The EFCC blows hot air and later the matter starts to drag for ages. Even Orji Kalu who was found guilty and sentenced is mysteriously out and enjoying life in the Senate. Fayose has been visiting EFCC like forever. Obiano was dragged on social and mainstream media. He was dramatically arrested. As EFCC chairman, Nuhu Ribadu listed Senator Tinubu as one of those in the corruption net. See the role reversal that is ongoing in Abuja.

    Ufuoma: Former governor of Delta State was invited; he honoured the EFCC invitation. He is out on bail. Isn’t that more dignifying? An allegation is not the same as being found guilty! Why can’t Yahaya take that option?

    Rekiya: Too much drama in the land. The level of hunger is terrifying. Begging has become a way of life. People can hardly pay their bills. School fees in primary and secondary schools are killing. They are even more expensive than the fees of universities.

    Rotimi: That’s the Nigerian model for you!

    Ufuoma: Trump has won the election in America.

    Ukadike: That country is different from Nigeria. Let us focus on our problems here!

    Rotimi: Only in America can a felon win a presidential election!

    Ufuoma: Not true, not very correct! Think properly!

    Rotimi: What do you mean?

    Ufuoma: Next question, please! It’s not from my mouth, you will hear that the king farted in the town square!

    Rekiya: Does the Naira have any hope?

    Ukadike: The dead shall rise again!

    Ufuoma: That will be Judgement Day!

    Rotimi: That is far oo!

    Ukadike: A General of the Army dies, and his extended family members blame juju and home trouble for his death!

    Ufuoma: Superstition is African! Anyone who joins the Army signs a contract with death!

    Rekiya: Not in Nigeria, not in Nigeria!