By Anthony AJERO
We are jokers. No: we are jokes. We even seek occasions to make global jokes of ourselves. Like stock character clowns who can’t help but repeat the same foolery, the world finds us free and reliable materials for why the Black man cannot make progress. In the treatment of the Late Abba Kyari, COVID-19 has bagged another act from our national circus.
The President’s former Chief of Staff (de-facto President some say) was the perfect metaphor of why Nigeria is today still in the Seventh World. Well educated in the world’s best schools, globally travelled, and blue-chip corporate experienced, he was the quintessence of the Nigeria elite.
While the world rang with “be safe, wash hands regularly, self–isolate for 14-days after international travel…,” our man simply went about his powerful life. By the time he tested COVID-19 positive, only God knows how many people he had infected.
Then, the Nigerian mafia’s secrecy opera began – remember the Late President Yar’Adua? While the whole world watched, and prayed for, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson as he entered and later left St. Thomas’ hospital, our inquiries were disdainfully treated with the usual “who are they to know?”
More importantly, urgent transfers were being made, hush contracts signed and executed in minutes. Multi-billionaire dollar “house cleaning, and clearing” were taking place in high places stretching from Abuja to financial capitals the world over.
And then the man died. Nigeria’s most powerful man died. He died! But the drama hadn’t ended. On the global stage, the Federal Government broke every rule it daily had shoved down our throats.
First, in announcing his death at the First Cardiology hospital, Lagos, the government spokesman indicted his co-travelers. No private hospital had been accredited to handle COVID-19 cases. Health Minister Ehanire Osagie said so. Lagos State Government affirmed it, repeatedly seizing patients, commando-style, from private hospitals.
Second, as is global practice, the NCDC buries victims’ corpses. Families cannot pay much cherished ‘last respects’, and give ‘befitting burials’ to the corpses. Not this one – it lived above the law and will be buried above the law. Period.
Third, his beloved friends, colleagues, and political associates – Nigeria’s leaders – could not be bothered by such ‘arrant hogwash as social distancing’ and no ‘burial’ etc etc. Laws are not meant for Nigeria’s elites.
And now, all over Nigeria, the body count grows. Let me go and prepare for tonight’s vigilante vigil against the ‘One Million Boys.’ Next national joke please!
Comrade Oshiomole Hits Gym to Relieve COVID-19 Stress: TNGNews has an exclusive video of the Comrade working out in what appears to be a private gym. Very serious at all he does, he asks the video man if he is getting him clearly and directs him to move sideways. Questions abound. Could this multi-millionaire naira gym not have been situated in the community to benefit more? What are the goals of this video, scripted, produced and directed by the multi-talented Comrade? Is this the new way of refuting illness/infection as the other governor recently did? Is this an advance proof of athleticism and being up-to-it in the “Other room” for some belle? Are his ‘detractors’ arguing he can’t take up that post because of his health? Ahhh…I give up. Our leaders ways are beyond the common man’s logic.
Lastline: Seen online: “21 have died, one body has been buried in a military cemetery. Where are the others?” Reading between the lines is this screaming question: Shouldn’t they all be buried together?
Globally
U.S.A
Africa
Nigeria
Total Cases
2, 443, 200+
770, 076+
22, 313+
627+
Deaths
167, 929+
41, 316+
1, 124+
21+
Recoveries
640, 252+
71, 489+
5, 492+
170+
Remarks
Infected nations: 52 Lesotho & Comoros: virus-free
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