Ozioma Onyenweaku
In Delta State of Nigeria, a man was arrested for allegedly raping and impregnating his 15-year-old daughter, and procuring abortion for her. The victim was 10 years old when the first abuse occurred.
She informed her mother who told her to keep quiet over it. The mother did not only tell her to keep quiet, she did nothing to protect the girl.
So the abuse continued till the girl got pregnant by her father. Abortion was procured for her by her father and mother.The nauseating aspect of this case is that the girl’s mother was aware of the abuse and she did nothing about it, preferring to save her marriage than save the life and mental health of her daughter.
Secondly, the grandparents were aware but preferred to save face and family reputation (as if they had any) than save their grandchild who should have been more precious to them. Surprisingly too, the Pastor of their church was aware but preferred to cover it up so as not to lose members. Are we all going insane? I got to know about a situation where a teacher in a private school observed that a particular girl had become gloomy and appeared to be having difficulty walking.
The girl later confided in the teacher that it was her madam’s husband, a banker, that had been sexually abusing her. The girl had earlier called her father and informed him. His response? “Try and endure it; you know how much that man is helping our family.”When the teacher informed the school authority, the girl’s father was invited to the school.
He did not honour the invitation. He was pleaded with on phone to visit the school; he said he knew why he was being called that the man in question had been good to his family. The school did not want to be proactive in their action because they did not want the school to be seen as ‘embarrassing’ parents and guardians. Here again, the reputation of the school was on the priority list against the saving of the girl victim.
When the news filtered to us, and the school was visited, it was discovered that the man-monster had relocated his family out of the area; and the school was not willing to give out the name of the bank where the man-monster was working. Neither were they willing to release the address of the girl’s father.
So you see, our problem lies with us. Most of the time, when issues arise with respect to children and I call out to mothers, some people tend to query my constant reference to mothers as if they are the only ones to take care of a child. Honestly, I know that the fathers are involved too in having oversight over the children. However, I was not the one who referred to mothers as homemakers or home keepers. So bear with me if you understand me to be overleaning on this role given to women by our Maker.A report from UNICEF shows that the COVID -19 lockdown led to an increase in child sexual abuse.
85% of the cases reported were of child sexual abuse. So these abuses happened at home. Yes, at home where the children are supposed to feel free and safe.So where were the mothers? Everyone was at home! A lot of children are going through a lot of sexual abuse in homes especially now. Imagine the abusers being on lockdown with the children 24/7. The first point of protection should be mothers. It is sad that some mothers prefer to cover up the abuse of their children in the name of protecting marriage, and family name. Do please have a rethink, sisters. Mothers, this is no time to let down guards. Be observant of what is going on in your homes. Condone no evil so that it will be well with you.
Think of the agony, the trauma,the mental torture these abuses subject these children to. I don’t think any child grows up loving the mother who stood by while she was being damaged; and mother who could have done something about stopping the abuse but chose not to. Seriously too, it is time for the men to call themselves to round table discussion on how to advise themselves.
For goodness sake, men are humans and not beasts, for crying out loud! Children have been given to us by God in trust. So we all have accounting to render as to how well we have discharged our duties in caring for and protecting the children.