TheNewsGuru

Tag: Bullying

  • British school bullying: 7-member committee to look into incident

    British school bullying: 7-member committee to look into incident

    The Federal Ministry of Education on Tuesday summoned Lead British International School, Abuja over an alarming viral online video regarding alleged bullying incidents at the school.

    At the meeting held in Abuja, the Minister of State for Education, Dr Yusuf Sununu, emphasised government’s steadfast stance against any form of harassment or intimidation within educational institutions.

    The delegation from the school to the meeting was led by Mr Abraham Ogunkanmbi, Head of School.

    Sununu expressed deep concern over the circulated video.and assured that government would take decisive actions to forestall reoccurrence in any institution of learning.

    The minister appointed a seven-member committee to thoroughly investigate the circumstances surrounding the documented incidents.

    The committee’s mandate, he said, was to investigate the events as depicted in the videos and come up with expanded investigation to other schools, using Lead British International School as a case study, to address broader social vices.

    Sununu underscored the importance of establishing stronger bonds between school authorities and students.

    He said such bond would facilitate immediate responses to similar incidents in the future., emphasising the critical role of communication in resolving such issues.

    The minister assured Nigerian of the government’s commitment to ensuring safety and protecting the rights of all students.

    He, also reiterated the seriousness of the  ministry in addressing and eradicating vices within the education sector.

    Contribution, the Permanent Secretary, Mrs Didi Walson-Jack, inquired about the existence of an anonymous suggestion box at the school, where students could lodge their complaints discreetly.

    Speaking on behalf of the delegation, Ogunkanmbi said the school had launched investigations into the unfortunate incidence.

    He assured the ministry that appropriate measures would be taken in response to the incidents, including disciplinary actions in accordance with the school’d policies.

  • UK deputy PM, Dominic Raab resigns over bullying complaints

    UK deputy PM, Dominic Raab resigns over bullying complaints

    British Deputy Prime Minister Dominic Raab resigned from the government on Friday following an independent investigation into complaints that he bullied colleagues.

    Raab resigned in a letter to the prime minister before the report was made public.

    His departure is a setback for Sunak just two weeks ahead of English local council elections where his Conservatives are predicted to fare badly.

    This represents the latest scandal to force out one of Prime Minister Rishi Sunak’s top ministers.

    The loss of the third senior minister over their personal conduct in the past six months will damage Sunak’s efforts to revive the governing Conservative Party’s fortunes.

    It also serves as a major embarrassment as he had entered Downing Street in October promising a government of integrity.

    “I called for the inquiry and undertook to resign if it made any finding of bullying whatsoever,” Raab’s letter said, adding: “I believe it is important to keep my word.”

    Sunak said in a letter in reply that he accepted Raab’s resignation with deep sadness but said it was important that ministers uphold the highest of standards.

    As deputy prime minister, Raab had no formal powers but stepped in for the prime minister if he was away from parliament or incapacitated.

    However, he was a close political ally of Sunak and helped launch his campaign to be prime minister last summer.

    The resignation will do little to improve the public perception of his government following the scandal-ridden tenure of Boris Johnson and the chaotic economic policies that brought down Liz Truss after less than two months.

    The five-month investigation into Raab’s behaviour heard evidence from multiple government officials about complaints of bullying at three different departments.

    The independent report by lawyer Adam Tolley found that Raab had acted in a way that was “intimidating” and “persistently aggressive” while at the Foreign Office.

    It said while at the Justice Ministry, he had gone “further than was necessary or appropriate in delivering critical feedback and also insulting, in the sense of making unconstructive critical comments about the quality of work done”.

    “(Raab) has been able to regulate this level of ‘abrasiveness’ since the announcement of the investigation,” Tolley wrote.

    “He should have altered his approach earlier,” the lawyer added.

    Raab requested the investigation in November following formal complaints about his behaviour by government officials.

    He said he felt “duty-bound” to accept the outcome of the inquiry but also staunchly defended his conduct.

    He said the report had concluded he had not once sworn, shouted, or physically intimidated anyone in four and a half years, and had dismissed all but two of the claims against him.

    Raab apologised for any unintended stress or offence caused but said the decision to set a threshold for bullying so low “set a dangerous precedent” for the conduct of good government.

    This will “have a chilling effect on those driving change on behalf of your government – and ultimately the British people”, he said in his letter.

    Raab referred to the two incidents where there was a finding of bullying against him – one at the Foreign Office in dealing with a senior diplomat’s handling of the Brexit negotiation over Gibraltar, and one where he gave critical feedback during an earlier stint at the Ministry of Justice from 2021 to 2022.

    Keir Starmer, the leader of the main opposition Labour Party, accused Sunak of “weakness” for failing to sack his deputy rather than letting him resign.

    Another of Sunak’s senior ministers, Gavin Williamson, also quit in November after bullying allegations, and the prime minister sacked Conservative Party chair Nadhim Zahawi in January after he was found to have broken the ministerial code over his openness about his tax affairs.

    Sunak is facing his own investigation by parliament’s standards watchdog into his behaviour over whether he properly declared his wife’s shareholding in a childcare company that stands to benefit from the new government policy.

  • Stop bullying monogamists – By Francis Ewherido

    Stop bullying monogamists – By Francis Ewherido

    In Urhobo land, I grew up to meet it. Men with only one wife were looked down upon. My paternal grandfather was well over six feet and good looking, but he was not highly respected. In fact, some people saw him as lazy. His major crime was that he married only one wife, a short woman for that matter, although my grandmother was a black beauty. He did have a love child, although my father never mentioned or acknowledged his half-sister. I don’t know why. My mother only told us after my father died. I only saw her once from afar, but my late brother knew him and took care of him.

    Many Urhobo people viewed Christianity with suspicion in the early stages. They saw it as a religion that the white man brought to force a strange culture (monogamy) on us. Do not forget that many wives and children equated to wealth because the larger the family, the more the workforce and therefore wealth. You now know why monogamists were seen as poor people, who could not make enough money to marry more wives, have many children and a large workforce. The spread of Christianity brought more disdain from non-Christians. My father was the only Christian amongst his siblings. “Unfortunately,” he was the last male child. His elder siblings could not understand why their well-educated baby brother would have only one wife. It was a recurring issue: marry a second wife.

    One would have thought that women like my mother had a case (having many male children) to make them an exception, but no. My mother had eight children, all males, but that was no guarantee. If we were all girls, my mother could have been thrown out and I do not know how my father could have resisted his elder siblings. When we were seven before our youngest brother was born, my father’s elder sister came on a visit. One day, she asked my father in Urhobo: “Ukaniedife (my father’s middle name), when are you taking a second wife,” she asked. “Ay’ovo wh’oshoo (literally translated to mean having sex with only one woman kills the penis),” she added with biblical finality. Properly translated it means, having sex with only one wife can lead to impotency. True, having one wife can lead to monotony and low interest in sex, but there is no scientific basis to say it leads to impotency because it does not. Some monogamists simply look for ways to spice their sex life and keep it evergreen.

    There has been a resurgence of bullying of and ridiculing of monogamists this time social media and other fora and that is responsible for today’s article. We live in a free world. The constitution does not tell us the number of women to marry, so what is this subtle bullying all about? I made a decision to be a monogamist as a little boy because I did not like the injustice, jealousy, envy and rivalry I saw in polygamous families around. That is not to say monogamy does not have its share of shortcomings: spouses who starve their other halves of sex, wives who wear tight and thick jeans trousers to bed to teach their husbands a lesson for not acceding to sometimes unreasonable demands, etc. Monogamy is monopoly and has its shortcomings and as a person, I hate monopoly. I often joke with my friends that the only area where I have accepted monopoly is marriage. Otherwise I detest monopoly.

     Monogamy or polygamy, which is better? My firm Christian beliefs notwithstanding, I do not get involved in such mumu arguments. Polygamy is part of our culture; embrace it or turn your back on it. It is a matter of choice. Make your choice and live with the consequences: the good, the bad and the ugly. I have chosen monogamy, let me live with the consequences of my choice. You cannot come and taunt me in a free society where I have made my choice.

    I went for a milestone birthday in Lagos some time ago. The celebrant has over 30 children. The guests, especially the women, were murmuring about the man’s “rascally” dick and weakness for women. But one thing was remarkable. The lowest qualification the children had is a first degree. He trained all his children to university level. I will not know how well brought-up they are because I was seeing them for the first time. I will not also judge them because one of them was smoking while the ceremony was on or one was smooching a girl in one corner. What did you expect? Lions beget lions, not goats.

    What impressed me was that all of them are well educated. Compare that to some other scenarios I see. A man has 17 children, none of them is a graduate; they do not have requisite training as artisans. The father has abandoned them to their fate. The girls are doing “runs” to keep body and soul together, while the males, without good enough knowledge to engage in sophisticated 419, are engaged in petty crimes and armed robbery or just loafing around. Don’t you see such scenarios around you? 

    Growing up, my parents always advised us that you cannot stop a child from growing protruding teeth; he should just grow enough lips to cover them. These youngsters making noise about polygamy and having many side chicks after getting married; it is your life. As you make your bed, so you will lie on it. Some of the protagonists of polygamy and side chicks are youngsters, who do not even have the resources to “camp” a girl at home. Bride price is very cheap in Urhobo land. My wife’s was N60, but I could only pay N55. I will never be able to pay the balance because I need to bring all the people who attended the marriage together to pay the N5 balance. My father-in-law, two of my wife’s siblings and two of my siblings, who witnessed the marriage are dead, not to talk of relatives and family friends who have since passed on. That is just by the side. But some of these noisemakers do not even have the resources to pay bride price and do traditional marriage of one wife.

    In Urhobo land, you can see “couples” who have lived together for 20 years and have had many children, even grandchildren. Then the father of the woman dies. All of a sudden, you hear that the man cannot bury his “father-in-law” because he has not paid the bride price or formally married the woman that he has been living with for 20 years. Then the man starts running around and mobilising relatives to pay the dowry or do the traditional marriage before he could bury his father-in-law (sh’ogor). You see partly why I am angry with these noisemakers?

    If you come to social media to justify taking to polygamy, you are insecure. You need nobody’s permission. I am a monogamist and I owe nobody any explanation. Make una let me hear word. Live your life the way you want, you are not answerable to anyone as long as you live within the law. When your time to depart the earth comes, you will only be answerable to God. You believe in God sef? Anyway, it doesn’t matter.

  • 2023 Election: INEC warns against bullying, hate speeches

    2023 Election: INEC warns against bullying, hate speeches

    The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) on Tuesday warned Politicians and their supporters against bullying, Cyber sleuth and hate speeches during electioneering campaigns.

    Dr Hale Longpet, Kogi Resident Electoral Commissioner (REC) gave the warning during the Commission’s engagement with representatives of political parties, traditional rulers, religious and community leaders in Lokoja, Kogi.

    Newsmen reports that the forum was one of series of stakeholders’ engagements and consultations preparatory organised by the commission towards the conduct of the 2023 general elections in Nigeria.

    The commission engaged stakeholders on wide range of issues including Electioneering campaigns, Schedules of PVC distribution, security, election officials’ conduct before and during elections in the state.

    Longpet said that the warning became necessary because INEC was committed to delivering a free, successful and credible elections in 2023.

    “Already, we are prosecuting an election offender arising from use of fowl language and hate speech
    having committing an election offence contrary and punishable under sections 91 to 97 of the new electoral law.

    “As a commission, we will not condone thuggery, use of abusive language and cyber bullying of political opponents during electioneering campaigns for the forthcoming 2023 general elections in Kogi.

    “This commission has been consistent in mapping out measures and procedures that will make the entire electoral process seamless for the voters, ” he said

    The REC said that INEC embarked on an exercise tagged “expansion of vote access to polling units” aimed at ensuring that the Voter has a pleasant experience during the PVC collection and election day.

    He said that the commission has made PVCs distribution so easy by taking them to the Ward level for people to conveniently pick their voters cards without cost of transportation and other logistical problems.

    Longpet pledged to address the issues of terrains in-difficult-to-reach communities in the borderlines in Ibaji local government area, armed conflict in Bassa LGA, alleged misconduct and compromise of INEC electoral officers in the local government areas and inadequate logistics/ bottlenecks.

    Responding, the Inter-Party Advisory Council (IPAC), expressed satisfaction with the measures taken by INEC towards achieving electoral sanity in the electoral process toward the 2023 polls.

    Also, traditional rulers, religious and community leaders, pledged to convey INEC’S message of peace to the voters in their domains and expressed their shared resolve to end the culture of violence associated with previous elections geared towards peaceful elections in Kogi.

    12 political parties under the banner of the Inter-Party Advisory Council (IPAC), traditional rulers, religious and community leaders as well as Civil Society Organizations (CSOs) attended the interactive session

    The political parties in attendance include Zenith Labour Party (ZLP), New Nigeria Peoples Party (NNPP), NRM, Accord Party, APGA, APN; PRP; APC; APP; SDP; Action Alliance (AA) and Africa Action Congress (AAC) amongst others.

  • Abike Dabiri replies Oby Ezekwesili, says she doesn’t cows to bullying

    Abike Dabiri replies Oby Ezekwesili, says she doesn’t cows to bullying

    Abike Dabiri-Erewa,  chairman of the Nigerians In Diaspora Commission (NIDCOM), stated on Twitter that she is not a public figure that cows to bullying’.

    She made this known in response to former Minister of Education, Oby Ezekwesili, who cautioned her for calling a Twitter troll ”Ode”.

    Dabiri had earlier replied to a Twitter troll who referred to her as ”Mumu woman”, in her response, she used the word Ode to refer to the troll.

    Reacting to Dabiri’s tweet, Ezekwesili, wrote; ”Dear Abike @abikedabiri, What is this? . Kai. This is messy. Please clean it up. Quickly. Please.”

    In her response to Ezekwesili, Ms. Dabiri-Erewa, wrote; ”I’m done on this . But out of respect for you , will ask, Clean what up? It’s okay for some untrained, uncouth guy to refer to me as “ mumu”, and I can’t call him “ ode”I’m not a public official that cows to bullying pls.”

  • Bullying and Violence in Secondary Schools- A Testimony (1) – Hope Eghagha

    Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha

    Ever since the circumstances of Sylvester Oromoni’s tragic death in the hands of evil child-bullies went viral, there has been an outpour of powerful emotions on social media, expressed by millions of Nigerians, young and old, rich, and poor, all blaming the management of Dowen College, a few blaming the parents for not listening to their child when it was obvious that he was being bullied, and for keeping the seriously sick Sylvester in the house without proper assessment for medical attention and intervention. I don’t apportion blame on a bereaved person/family. That would be double jeopardy. A sudden and premature death is enough pain for and trauma on any human being. There have been protests by mothers too staged right in front of the college in Lekki. I read somewhere that the ebullient Femi Falana, ace human rights lawyer is handling the case for the bereaved family from the legal angle. We can go to sleep that Falana will enter the lion’s den, like the late Gani Fawehinmi, to retrieve the lost bone! It’s comforting too, that five students and three hostel masters are now in police custody. No, two alleged suspects have not been ferried out of Nigeria!

    Governor Ifeanyi Okowa of Delta State and Senator James Manager have called Mr. Sylvester Oromoni (Snr) to express their condolences. I also called Mr. Oromoni to assure him of my support, little as it may be. I am certain that some other highly placed persons have reached out to the family too in their moment of grief. That is how it should be. Grief that is borne by one person alone eats into the bone! It kills. It famishes the body and the soul. I imagine also, as it happens in times of bereavement, there is a cluster of women from family, church, and other organisations around the bereaved mother, Mrs. Oromoni, the woman who carried Baby Sylvester in her womb for nine months and nurtured him for 12 years before some little devils, hand joined in hand, domiciled in Dowen College cut down the boy in his prime. With the passage of time, the stream of visitors will dwindle into a trickle. Then it will stop. Stop completely. People will move on. Then healing will start. Yes, the healing must start after the scalding hurt inflicted on a family. A family which had spent millions to have a son educated in preparation for life. Pain is too deep a sad emotion to last forever. So, nature provides relief in the shape and form of time! Time heals all wounds. So, let time come quickly and blot out the searing pain that untimely death has caused the Oromonis.

    There have been revelations too. The culture of silence has been broken, sort of, especially by former teachers in some elite secondary schools. Some parents have narrated their experiences in the vice grip of elitist education mentality in Nigeria. If we do not keep the issue on the front burner, even government would move on. Some officials would attempt to bury the matter with the coffin of slush money. But I predict that the Oromoni matter will be resolved. The spirit of Sylvester is strong.

    In my first essay on this issue, I called for a reopening of Dowen College as soon as possible because I sympathised with the innocent children in that school who are likely to be in limbo. They are victims in the saga; they have suffered double jeopardy- traumatized by the vicarious experience and denied education for weeks. Yet, investigations must be thorough. It is now established that bullying and extreme brutality are routine occurrences in most elitist schools in Nigeria. Some parents, senior students, and school masters are all guilty of the travesty and ritual of oppression that is going on in the schools.

    Most children in the private schools come from comfortable, wealthy, or affluent homes. Even among the wealthy, some are more powerful than others. ‘All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others’, wrote George Orwell. Their name, power, and influence often travel with their kids in the school. Most school owners set up educational facilities as an investment for profit. The most important value is what the business brings to the bank. Not any character moulding fantasy. At the other end of the chain are the teachers. These are graduates, often well trained but from a poor or modest background. Passion they have for teaching, but soon after they start teaching, disillusionment sets in when they see the dangerous nonsense going on. How can one thrive, blossom as a teacher when students cannot be disciplined? Some kids from wealthy homes treat teachers like their domestic staff, the way their parents do at home. Having taught in the university system for over thirty years, I have former students of mine who are teachers in some the elitist schools. Some of their stories are not savoury.

    One teacher spoke about a girl in his class who would never take notes while he taught the class. She would stare at him throughout the class. Once he raised his voice and advised her to take her work seriously. Another teacher who heard his voice invited him to lunch and advised him to take it easy with the girl. ‘Her father has paid the school for her to pass all exams till she graduates’, she said. Another teacher spoke about one of his students, son of a Minister of Education at the time. At 1pm, he would tell whoever was teaching the class that his driver had come. He would just stroll out of the class. Yet another teacher narrated how a student called him ‘white monkey’, and he reported the matter to the principal. The student’s parents were invited for a talk. In the presence of the teachers, the student was accused of insulting a teacher. Mr Father simply looked at his daughter and said ‘You insulted a teacher? Alright, your punishment is that you will not go to Oxford. I will send you to Birmingham’. He apologised to the teacher and left.

    A Zoom meeting recording of Concerned Parents in Education group is currently in circulation. A man who said he once taught students at Dowen reported that he left because management tolerated acts of bullying. A mother on the platform burst out and berated the teacher for leaving and keeping quiet. Her own son, she said, was also tortured by bullies but was lucky. The incident was recorded on video. When she reported to the principal, the latter said the bullies could not be punished because the video was not published on social media! There are more bizarre stories of how some parents would report a matter and the school management would bury it because they do not want a scandal in their school. There are parents who claim that they don’t want their children to ‘suffer’ as they did and spoil the brats to no end.

    In view of the epidemic nature of bullying, cultic behaviour, and moral decadence, I call on the House of Representatives Committee on Education to set up a hearing and invite former and current teachers in the elitist schools to testify on the state of things in the schools, especially in the hostels. Acts of brutality, bullying, and immorality are rife in some private schools. It is an epidemic. Too many people lick their wounds privately and move on. There have been deaths. But the trauma of violence on children lasts forever. Some grow up to be broken adults. Others become bullies themselves. There ought to be legislation on this subject. There should also be an awareness campaign to sensitise parents and children to report bullying anywhere it occurs.

  • I have been a victim of bullying since I was 14 – Halima Abubakar

    I have been a victim of bullying since I was 14 – Halima Abubakar

    Actress and filmmaker, Halima Abubakar has averred that she has been a victim of bullying since she was 14.

    In a chat with Punch, she said “I repeated a semester in Bayero University, Kano, because I was bullied. I could not talk then because I was very scared. There was a particular exam I did not write because they (bullies) were there (exam hall) waiting for me for no reason. When I went back to my room, I found out that my food wasn’t there. At times, they (bullies) would lie on my bed which was always neatly laid. It is not something I want to remember because it was not a pleasant experience.

    “There are bullies in Nollywood and everywhere else. They all have their gangs and they are the ones destroying Nollywood— from producers to actors. Some would borrow money from one and use their voices to intimidate one not to ask for one’s money back. Some people are just evil.”

    “I have been a victim (of bullying) since I was 14 years old when I started acting. I was bullied till I stood on my feet and said I would not take it anymore. If I open my mouth (to mention names of the bullies), there would be waves of shock and amazement. Half of the people that are thought to be nice are actually mean and hateful. There is no joy in the heart of the people that have hurt me.”

  • Bullying, Cultism as Wages of Parental Failure, By Michael West

    Bullying, Cultism as Wages of Parental Failure, By Michael West

    By Michael West

     

    And the boy died in agony!

     

    His mouth was sore swollen, writhing in pains all over his boyish body frame, unable to stand on his feet neither was he able to walk. He was crushed, dehumanized and tortured to his untimely grave. A Nigerian future leader was cut short. His bright future was shattered. His parents became bereaved in the broad daylight. While other parents came to pick their children back home from the school, the innocent soul was committed to Mother Earth in grief! What an irrecoverable loss! That was the fate that befell Master Sylvester Oromoni, a 12-year-old student of Dowen College, Lekki, Lagos, who died last week due to injuries he sustained from brutal treatments allegedly meted to him by a gang of bullying senior students for no reason other than rascality and nuisance.

     

    Many years ago, precisely in 1960s/70s, boarding school was a developmental hub for students of post primary schools. About than 70 percent of secondary school students resided in the boarding facilities of their various schools. Summer holidays otherwise known as long vacation or end of academic session break had always been periods students mingled and enjoyed the warmth of their parents. Discipline, not abuse, was the hallmark of seniority in schools. Parents gleefully endeavour to meet up with school requirements for boarding students.

     

    Nothing excites a parent like seeing her baby grows to become an adult and ultimately emerge successful in life. In this part of the world, education is a priority. Back in time, morals, discipline and culture were learned from home while the school deepened those virtues and complement with academic and vocational training. Agriculture, handcrafts, sports and devotion at periods dedicated to worship were fully built into extra curricular activities in schools. That was why quality education and leadership skills were inculcated into the students of those golden era.

     

    Bullying has always been part of students’ lifestyle in schools but it’s more pronounced among boarding students. In the time past, it was mild; in fact, it was assumed to be a trait of seniority. No injury would be inflicted. What was common at the time were punishments for recalcitrant students especially the Juniors. Fetching buckets of water, manual labour, kneeling down, delay in getting to bed, serving the roommates etc were common forms of discipline for offenders. Reports of abuse and bully were rare at the time, and if any at all, they were infinitesimal.

     

    These days, apart from students to students bully, some staff members are equally culpable. Some housemasters and teachers had been reported in recent times to have been queried or summoned over abuse cases against them. Abnormal canning, denied access to food during break time and running errands while others were either in class, prep or at dinning hall.

     

    The school management handed down discipline and leadership roles to the prefects and some brilliant students in the senior classes. Yet, housemasters, the vice principal and the principal were always monitoring activities and happenings in the classrooms and dormitories. They treated reported cases of violation and abuse with immediate effect. Erring seniors and even prefects were summarily dealt with. Depending on the degree of offences, some were punished and reprimanded while those who committed grievous offences were placed on suspension or expulsion. School authorities didn’t tolerate bullying or acts of wickedness.

     

    However, what is happening these days in our schools are quite appalling and disheartening. Some of them have gone beyond mere bullying and harassment of their fellow students to threats to life, assaults and sadly, killings! Cultism have crept into secondary schools more than 10 years ago but parents and school authorities pretended or chose to ignore it. Now that cultism has become cancerous destroying the future of young and promising adolescents, I think parents of such wayward children and their profit-minded school managements should admit failure on their parts. Many parents don’t have time or interest in whatever their children do. They don’t visit them unannounced, failed to check their bags, go through their academic works and investigate the company of friends they keep. Dereliction of parental roles and institutional failure on the part of schools’ managements are responsible for the sad narratives we are dealing with today as exemplified by the Dowen College saga.

     

    I don’t want to believe that most parents are not aware of the rebellious attitudes of their wards in and out of school. Agreed that some students could feign innocence and good children at home but their language, mode of dressing, movements and the company of friends they keep will reveal their concealed identities. The Word says “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). This is why parents cannot absolve themselves from blame as a result of antisocial behaviours of their children. The spiraling crime rate among school children also gain its strength from the compromised involvement of their parents in facilitating exam malpractices and criminal routes to academic attainment. Knowing the crooked manoeuvres of their parents towards their results and admission processes into higher institutions, such parents do lack the rectitude to whip to line erring and wayward children. Until ignoble parental compromise is eschewed, the tendency for the children to get enmeshed in criminal indulgences like hard drugs addiction, rape, bullying, robbery, thuggery and cultism will remain high while their parents will helplessly look away from the imploding disaster waiting to happen in their homes.

     

    Besides, I like to acknowledge the fact that some parents are indeed good at parenting but the rebellious attitudes of their children are putting a lie to their sincere efforts due to peer pressure and influence on them. I know the children of clergy that have become serious challenges to divine calls and assignments of their parents. The children do engage in wild lifestyle and sexual misadventures for pecuniary and class chasing purposes. Schools that should curb the nefarious activities and tendencies in their students are more interested in increased population for higher monetary gain. Academic and non-academic staff are not as committed as they ought to be because they are made to work far more than their pay. Also, they’re being careful not to discipline the children of the rich and the highly placed personalities in society to avoid getting into trouble. Previous cases have shown that their school management usually sacrifice such staff to retain the patronage and favour of influential parents.

     

    In the light of current challenges, the following steps should be taken:

    • Close monitoring of students during school hours and in particular, in dormitories must be ensured. No excuse must be entertained henceforth for any abuse, bullying or assault among students.

     

    • Surveillance cameras should be installed while the school security team should be on patrol at intervals. By this, the management of the school would keep negative tendencies in check.

     

    • No case of intimidation, bully and assault should be covered up for any reason whatsoever regardless of whose child is involved. Every trace of misdemeanor must be nipped in the bud.

     

    • The healing balm of justice must be served to appease the hurt of the victims and their families. The moment the unruly children of the high and the mighty begin to pay for their crimes, orderliness and sanity will be restored in schools in particular and the society in general.

     

    • Upward review of salaries and allowances of staff especially those saddled with the responsibility of monitoring students like housemasters should be considered.

     

    • The parents and teachers’ consultative forum should also play its oversight function in the affairs of schools. Visits to the dormitories and random probing of happenings from students will go a long way in putting things right.

     

    May the soul of Sylvester Oromoni and those of other deceased students that died as a result of abuses find eternal rest in the Lord. May God comfort the bereaved families. Amen.

     

    From the Mailbox

     

    Re: The Flip Side of Interracial Marriage

     

    Mr. West, You have said everything and left no room add much to it. I see the whole thing as a way of reversing the ugly trend of the past. It is time to make Africa the pacesetter.

     

    Since African countries are plagued with weak leadership and selfish leaders who are not bothered about our heritage, the only sustainable ways to get reparations from those countries is through interracial marriages and what our youths are doing in the ICT sector and entrepreneurial adventure. All they need is encouragement from us as parents. – Chief Emo Diadenaru

     

    08035304268

    08059964446

  • I get bullied more than you do – DJ Cuppy tells Temi Otedola

    I get bullied more than you do – DJ Cuppy tells Temi Otedola

    Popular DJ, Florence Otedola aka DJ Cuppy has informed her sister Temi Otedola that she gets bullied on social media more than the latter does.

     

    The talented DJ said this to Temi on Tuesday while responding to a tweet the latter had sent.

     

    Temi had tweeted that she loves the Twitter app.

     

    Responding to the tweet, Cuppy wrote: “Temi, they don’t bully you as much as they bully me.”

     

    TheNewsGuru recalls that Kelly Handsome slammed Cuppy in February 2021 after her performance at the Gold Dust saying that music is not for everyone.

     

    “If I talk now haters will say their daily prayer ‘black bla bla’….. ‘Ur career don die’. ‘U’re looking for attention’. ‘U’re hating’, meanwhile the person chatting has never stood out for anything in life.

     

    “This is an insult to music as a career and an embarrassment to NAIJA music. This is like mocking real musicians, when did we get here? You cannot buy talent. They would have paid me or someone to write a proper song for her, bring out her British accent & all but No,” he wrote on Instagram.

     

     

  • The Menace of Bullying in Hostels – the Sylvester Oromoni Tragedy – Hope Eghagha

    Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha

    ​Anyone who went through secondary school hostel/boarding house life knows that often, some seniors or some of the bigger boys or girls often bully the juniors.Yes, girls bully the junior girls too. Bullying comes in the different forms- in form of depriving the junior ones of their own ‘provision’, extortion, psychological torture, and/or physical beating. There is used to be the formal bullying, where all Form One students in the hostel went through what was dubiously called ‘fagging. On that day,often at night, all the kids in Form One would be assembled in a hall and subjected to all forms of indignities, from bathing them with cold water in a cold weather, pouring food remnants on them, and beatingthem. After that ritual, they would now say ‘Your tail has been cut off. Sometimes, the young and the vulnerable ones continue to be bullied till they get to a senior class or till their tormentors leave the school. I don’t remember now whether that was how the notion of school father started, a senior student who would be one’s protector.

    ​Bullying does not always cause death. But death sometimes occurs. And covered up by the school authorities. The trauma of bullying often lasts forever. Sadly, bullying continues every year even when the hostel authorities try to put a stop to it. Bullies thrive on fear, the fear of their victim. Often the victims tragically believe that silence and cooperation would save them from the evil hands of their predators or oppressors or extortioners. Sadly, some bullies are also victims of previous trauma or bullying.

    ​The sad and tragic death of Sylvester Oromoni (Jnr) last week, a student of Dowen College Lekki Lagos has once again brought the menace of bullying to the fore. Dowen College is a ‘co-educational and boarding school with over twenty years record of excellence’, according to a statement on its website. But with the death and the spilled blood of Sylvester, I have no doubt that that claim to excellence is gone forever. When I watched the video of the poor boy moaning in what turned out to be the throes of death, I could not stop the tears in my eyes. I wept for the boy. I wept for his parents. No parent should lose a child; no parent should watch their child go through the circumstances that led to Sylvester’s death.

    ​Father of the deceased Mr. Sylvester Oromoni’s narrative is a serious indictment on the management style of Dowen College. I will produce a summary of Mr. Oromoni’s narrative. According to him, the events which culminated in the painful death of Sylvester started in October when it came to light through the 12year old’s elder sister that some bullies wanted to know if he had seen the nakedness of his elder sister. The same boy who had bullied Sylvester into admitting that he had seen hissister’s nakedness reported to her that the latter claimed to have seen her nakedness. This ought to have been a strong alarm bell for all involved. Then a week before the calamity, a call from the school summoned the father to Lagos from his Warri home because, according to the school, his son fell while playing football and was sick. Mr. Oromoni took his son home for special care. At death point Syvester revealed that he did not play football and could not have sustained any injury while playing football. He then narrated how he was tortured and beaten up by five senior boys because he refused to join their cult. He named the murderers as Benjamin Favour, Anselm Temile, and Michael Kasamu. Tragic. Wicked.

    ​The school Principal Mrs. Adebisi Layiwola issued a statement and stated among other things that ‘we immediately commenced investigations and invited the students allegedly mentioned for an interview. His guardian was also present during the interviews, which revealed that nothing of such happened’. The State government through the Ministry of Education has responded by shutting down Dowen College till further notice. Obviously, the school did not do a thorough investigation and the State Ministry of Education headed by a former school Principal, Mrs. Folasade Adefisayomust have smelt a rat. Sylvester Oromoni was killed while pursuing the harmless dream of educating himself in an expensive private school in Lagos. WHO KILLED SYLVESTER OROMONI JUNIOR? The public demands an answer. The family demands an answer. Every parent who watched the video or who has heard the story demands an answer to all the questions. What transpired in the hostel that night that made Sylvester ill? Have the boys whose names were mentioned been invited by the Police? Would there by high-powered connections to try and kill the case? The blood of Sylvester demands justice. May Heaven visit anyone who tries to kill the case with raging fury!

    ​I have shed tears for Sylvester. I didn’t know him. I don’t know his father. I have connected with the story as a father, grandfather, and a human being. He could have been anybody’s child, anybody’s nephew or cousin or grandson. A grieving mother told me after reading the story that she would not allow her only daughter go to the boarding house!

    ​Schools need to do more on stopping bullying and molestation. As we write, bullying is ongoing in some schools. It is not only students in the hostel that are bullied. Day students re also exposed to bullying. Does your child look sad every time he returns from school? Does he look thin? Does he refuse to eat? Have nightmares? Listen to your child. Insist. If a child as much as suggests that they should be taken to another school, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY UNTIL YOU FIND THE TRUTH EVEN IF THE CHILD SAYS NEVER MIND DADDY!

    ​Schools need to do more to protect kids in their custody. There is need for intelligence gathering in schools, both at night and in the day. As Senior Prefect of Batist High School Port Harcourt in the late 70s, I had some junior students who fed me information routinely. I protected their identity. Let there be a specially selected teacher or teachers who all exploited students can confide in. My mental health NGO Mind and Soul Helpers Initiative (MASHI) once visited some schools to educate them on mental health. When it was question time, we received a few innocuous questions. But from the notes they sent anonymously, a postgraduate student could do a project on the trauma which some of our children go through while going through secondary education.

    ​All reports/complaints by our children, wards must be taken seriously by parents, guardians, and school management. Managers of schools should realise that the life of one student is more important than the reputation of the school. As parents in loco, Heaven will ask them to account for the death of any child who dies in their care!

    ​Finally, I commiserate with the Oromonis. Sylvester was a hero, a strong character for refusing to join a cult despite threats and intimidation. His death must not be in vain. There must be justice to reassure victims of bullying that all bullies will ultimately face the law. If it is true that the culprits have been flown abroad by their parents, such parents must be compelled with the force of law to produce them for proper interrogation and punishment if found culpable. Shutting down the school should be temporary because the careers of innocent children in the school are in jeopardy. Open the school and punish the guilty.

    ​What words can one tell the Oromonis that could reduce the trauma of a painful but avoidable death? No words! No words! No words! Yet, condolences we have, and condolences we must give. I hope to meet the parentspersonally and let them know that we all stand by them in their moment of grief.

    Professor Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha can be reached on 08023220393

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