TheNewsGuru

Tag: divorce

  • Unmasking A Veiled Source of Marital Woes – Michael West

    Unmasking A Veiled Source of Marital Woes – Michael West

    By Michael West

    A lot of people are suffering in diverse ways, in particular, in their marital pursuits but not due to their own wrongdoings. They labour, sweat and work so hard to make things work out but their efforts are not yielding desired results.

    Tales of agony and frustration daily characterise their situations. They often wonder on how they came about their helpless circumstances. I do hope many lives will be liberated through this insight.

    I’m a proponent of parental inputs in the process leading to marriage. Relationships supported by parents have turned out more successful than the ones they opposed. Being human, some of the parents’ choices may not have been the best or have actually been a regret but when juxtaposed by the ones they supported, the success rate is much higher. Parents are people of immense experience. They are endowed with natural instincts to decipher potential good mates for their children. Parents are passionately committed to the well-being of their children, hence they would stop at nothing to support, defend and provide for their needs wherever and whenever they are able to do so.

     

    This same passion for the good of their children apparently lured many parents into tying their children’s destinies or future into covenants or vows. Consequently, the innocent children (now adults) will start contending with unknown source(s) of battles and challenges in their lives especially in the area of marriage.

     

    I know a pretty woman who had the issue of failed relationships consistently. A born again believer for that matter, she was aghast the day she discovered that her parents had married her off to Ifa (god of divination) while she was a few weeks old as a baby. That was when she was able to break free from the spiritual chains that tied her down from getting married. Today, she is a mother of children.

     

    A 49 years old woman had a smooth sail in her studies; at age 22, she had graduated. Barely four years later, she was was ready for marriage after obtaining her Master of Arts degree in her discipline but alas, no stable relationship that could endure into marriage. Consistent breakup in her relationships became her lot. Initially she was not bothered thinking she’s still young with a well-paid job. “It is a matter of time. Things will fall into pleasant places for me in due course.” That was her consolation. Months rolled into years without making a headway in her relationship. She finally got delivered 20 years after on her 46th birthday. She had a dream and saw her late mother praying while facing the altar inside a church. In the dream, her mom was about five months pregnant. She had vowed that her baby will never leave the denomination, and as long as she abides by that, everything about her life shall be smooth, peaceful, timely and successful. And if she veers off the track, until she returns to the fold, things will go the opposite direction for her.

     

    After she woke up, she headed straight to a parish of the church around where she lived in Lagos. She grew up in the church way back in her home town. Barely three months later, she met a guy in the course of her official duty; in less than six months, formal introduction took place. Exactly nine months later, they were in a registry for their wedding. As you read this, she is a mother of two beautiful children and the marriage is solidly moving on well. She took the step without consulting anybody. It then dawned on her that the covenant her mom made while she was still a foetus was working in her life unknowingly.

     

    Meanwhile, while living and working in Lagos after graduation, she started attending another church of her choice. That was when she started experiencing challenges. At some point, her job was seriously threatened. She almost lost her job if not for the mercy of God.

     

    A man was bedeviled with constant job losses. He ventured into business, he ended up in huge debts. He later discovered that his mother had warned that he should not marry from a particular tribe which he ignored. Thank God his mother was alive at the time and a solution was found. I have some other cases that space constraint would not permit me to share.

     

    Many people are experiencing intractable course of challenges and they are almost giving up on their situations as efforts made at solutions appear to be a nulity. They have prayed, fasted and have had several deliverance sessions, yet, it seems they’re not getting results. Not a few people have attended seminars, conferences and counseling sessions all to no avail. Some have even gone outside their faiths to seek help elsewhere, yet, their conditions remain daunting. However, to every human problem, there is a solution but not without knowing the source. Identifying the source or sources of problems either physical, situational or spiritual is the easiest way to solution.

     

    I have encountered cases of seeming hopeless situations which through diligent investigations solutions have been found, all to the glory of God. Every aspect of human life matters; but the key areas that people easily recognise challenges are in the areas of career or business, marriage and health. These are the three cardinal pegs of adult life. Encountering challenges at these junctures are so prevalent such that it is easy for some people to accuse (wrongly or rightly) whoever they suspect to be behind their afflictions. Unfortunately, those commonly accused are mothers, wives, in-laws, unfriendly neighbours and extended family members. I want to admit that in a few instances, it is possible that such people may be unknowingly found complicit, while in several other cases they are indeed innocent but wrongly accused or suspected. The fact remains that we live in a world that is ruled by forces beyond the ordinary.

     

    In some of the recent cases, I discovered that the reason why some mothers are being accused or suspected was because they are involved in the making of vows or covenants in times of need or sorrow; and, under emotional excitement, they tie their vows to the future of their innocent children. These children were not told about what lies ahead of them. Later in life things will begin to go awry with them when they go contrary to the terms of the vows or covenants their parents had entered into.

     

    I want to appeal to parents to open up to their struggling and jinxed children in case anything like that had happened in the past. Adult children should also gently approach their parents to find out if such a spiritual deal exists on their behalf. This situation affects almost every aspect of their lives but it is mostly noticeable in the areas of marital adventure and economic life.

     

    It is never too late to unmask the veiled source of the problem and neutralise the effects. For it is written: “Affliction will not rise a second time.” (Nahum 1: 9). Therefore, the yoke of marital failure and other impossibilities shall be broken by the reason of the anointing in the power of God Almighty. (Isaiah 10:27). Do have a victorious weekend.

     

    Quote:

    “Encountering challenges at these junctures are so prevalent such that it is easy for some people to accuse (wrongly or rightly) whoever they suspect to be behind their afflictions.”

     

     

  • I don’t know if he’s alive or dead, wife begs court for divorce over missing husband

    I don’t know if he’s alive or dead, wife begs court for divorce over missing husband

    A teacher, Mrs Farida Muhammad, on Thursday approached a Sharia Court sitting in Magajin Gari, Kaduna State seeking divorce.

    Muhammad who resides within Kaduna metropolis, said this was because she could not establish whether her husband, Ahmad, is still alive or dead.

    ”He has been on admission in the hospital receiving treatment. He was in August 2020, and he has not been heard from since then.

    ”My people have been searching for him since them. We also made announcements in the media and have not heard anything.

    ”He left us with nothing and his salary has been suspended in his place of work, I am praying the court to terminate the marriage”, Muhammad said.

    Speaking on behalf of Ahmad, Musa Sango who identified himself as an older brother, told the court that what the complainant told the court was true.

    “Ahmad is my younger brother and he is no where to be found. His ATM card is with his wife and his salary has been stopped which is against the rules of civil service in Kaduna State”, Sango said.

    The judge, Murtala Nasir after listening to the parties, adjourned the case until March 22 to terminate the marriage if the defendant does not come back.

  • INCREDIBLE! Woman returns to beat up ex-husband’s new wife, five years after divorce

    INCREDIBLE! Woman returns to beat up ex-husband’s new wife, five years after divorce

    Two women were arraigned on Friday, before an Ikorodu Magistrates’ Court, for allegedly conspiring between themselves to beat up a new wife at her husband’s residence.

    The two defendants: Ruka Tayo, 38; and Jimoh Abiola, 35, whose addresses were not provided, are standing trial on a two-count charge bordering on conspiracy to commit an offence and assault.

    The defendants, however, pleaded not guilty to the two-count charge.

    The Prosecutor, ASP Gbemileke Agoi, told the court that the defendants committed the offences on Feb. 26 at about 4:p.m at Road 7, Mowowole Estate, Oreta Igbogbo area of Ikorodu.

    Agoi alleged that the defendants conspired together and beat up the complainant, one Mrs Adeyemi Morenikeji, at her husband’s residence because she married the former husband of one of the defendants.

    He said the defendants beat up the complaint at the residence of her new husband, five years after leaving the house following their divorce.

    According to him, the offences contravened the provisions of Sections 412 and 172 of Criminal Law of Lagos, 2015.

    The Magistrate, Mrs R. A. Onilogbo, admitted the defendants to bail in the sum of N50,000 each, with two sureties each in like sum.
    She adjourned the case till March 31, for mention.

  • Adele, husband conclude divorce two years after announcing split

    Adele, husband conclude divorce two years after announcing split

    British singer, Adele and ex-husband Simon Konecki have concluded their divorce nearly two years after they announced their decision to separate, Us Weekly confirms.

    A judge signed off on the settlement on Thursday, meaning the “Someone Like You” singer and Konecki are officially divorced.

    The 32-year-old singer and her former husband submitted a judgement packet last month, but it was not signed by the judge until now.

    In the packet, filed by the Grammy Award winner, the pair opted to determine rights to community property and debts through mediation. Adele and her ex represented themselves in the case.

    The British pop star and Konecki said that they had called it quits in April 2019 after quietly tying the knot the previous year. They share an eight-year-old male child, Angelo.

    Early filings showed that both Adele and Konecki were seeking joint custody and visitation of their son. They planned to negotiate those details with a mediator as well.

    Few details have surfaced about Adele and her ex-husband split as the pair signed a confidentiality agreement in March 2020 regarding the case.

    Adele and Konecki made their debut as a couple in January 2012. They welcomed their first and only child together nine months later and wed in May 2018. The “Chasing Pavements” singer gifted her ex her Los Angeles home in February 2019. Within two months, they announced that they were ending the marriage.

    Five months after the announcement, Adele filed divorce paperwork. Irreconcilable differences were cited as the reasoning behind the filing.

    Since her separation from Konecki, the England native has been linked to fellow Brit Skepta. The pair shared a playful exchange on social media in June 2020 that got the rumour mill going. A source told Us four months later they “have been seeing each other” after forming a friendship years earlier.

    Adele also debuted her dramatic weight loss amid her divorce, shedding more than 100 pounds. She continues to showcase her drastic transformation and focus on making new music, teasing her yet-unfinished album during a 2020 appearance on Saturday Night Live.

     

  • Divorce from Jennifer Garner made me better actor-Ben Affleck

    Divorce from Jennifer Garner made me better actor-Ben Affleck

    Actor, Ben Affleck has averred that his divorce from Jennifer Garner, his ex-wife, made him a better actor.

    Affleck spoke about the experiences that shaped his career in a chat with The Hollywood Reporter.

    He emphasized on the role he played in ‘The Way Back’, his 2020 film, where he had taken the character of an alcoholic.

    Affleck noted that he drew on real-life experience from his time with Garner to take up the role which made him better.

    The actor’s relationship with the Cuban-Spanish film star hit the rock in January 2021 after Garner initiated a divorce from him.

    “For me, the movie was much more about the fact that — whether it’s having lived enough years, having seen enough ups and downs, having had children and divorce — I’m at a point now in my life where I have sufficient life experience to bring to a role to make it really interesting for me,” Affleck said.

    “Growing older and having had more intense and meaningful personal experiences have made acting more interesting for me and in turn made me drawn to the kinds of movies that are about people that are flawed.”

    Affleck, has featured in several hit movies including ‘Armageddon’, ‘Pearl Harbor’, ‘The Sum of All Fears’ and ‘Changing Lanes.’

  • Tyrese Gibson divorces wife after years of marriage

    Tyrese Gibson divorces wife after years of marriage

    Popular US actor, Tyrese Gibson has announced his divorce from Samantha Lee Gibson, his partner whom he married in 2017.

    TheNewsGuru recalls that Gibson tied the knot with Samantha on Valentine’s Day in 2017 and welcomed Soraya Rayas, their daughter, the following year.

    On Wednesday, Gibson issued a moving statement via his Instagram page wherein he broke the news of their decision to “officially separate & divorce” — although he didn’t say what led to their separation.

    “We have decided to make a statement of a painful and significant development in our lives. After much thought, consideration, and prayer, we, unfortunately, have made the decision to officially separate & divorce,” he wrote.

    “Our intention is to remain the best of friends & strong co-parents. We feel incredibly blessed to have found each other and deeply grateful for the 4 years we have been married to each other.

    “Our journey together has been a ride of both ups & downs, but it’s a journey that neither of us would have chosen to take with anyone else. We truly have so much love & respect for each other.

    “We both have grown tremendously within this relationship; we have shared so many beautiful memories and moments, and we also look forward to seeing the amazing futures we have ahead of us individually.

    “As if 2020 hasn’t already been extremely grueling and challenging to us all we wanted to mutually speak on this now to keep this energy in 2020 and not take this energy into 2021.”

    Gibson was once married to Norma Mitchell from 2007 to 2009 and the union was blessed with Shayla Somer, their 13-year-old daughter.

     

  • Celebrating divorce – Francis Ewherido

    By Francis Ewherido

    Divorce, which is an official dissolution of a marriage, is one of the blights of the marital institution. Very few people go into marriage with the intention to get divorced at some point. That is why people take the vow of “till death do us part” at wedding. Divorce is a sensitive issue and out of respect for those who are divorced, especially those who are close to me, I have stayed away from that topic in the past seven years since this column debuted. This is especially so since I am aware of the circumstances that led to some of these divorces. I share in their pains. But when I came across a story of a couple, who went for a “celebratory lunch” after they were officially divorced, I decided to write about it, but still without prejudice to divorced family members and friends I deeply care for.

    What is this couple celebrating? What are they trying to prove? Who are they trying to impress. Are they trying to show that they are mature? If they were mature, they should have channeled their maturity to make their marriage work. Or are they trying to prove that they are not bitter? There are people who are divorced and have moved on without a show. I know a divorced couple, who are professionals in the same field and own a practice together. They are still business partners and run their business together. They did not go for a “celebratory lunch” to tell the world that there is no bitterness when they got divorced.

    Anyway, the other things that caught my attention in their story were the pieces of advice they offered married and dating couples. Apparently, their marriage was built of a defective foundation ab initio because their courtship was also defective. Their first advice was, “take the time to REALLY get to know yourself, your purpose, your vision, your priorities, and your core values before committing yourself to someone else for life. Get clear on your non-negotiables and on your deal breakers before saying “I Do”. Otherwise, your newfound vision can create division if it’s not in alignment.” This brings us to the definition of courtship and I am going to take excerpts from my book, Life Lessons From Mudipapa:

    “Dating can be described as a form of courtship and may include social activities undertaken by two persons (male and female) with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a life partner, while courtship is that traditional period before engagement and marriage when couples date to get to know each other and decide if they should go ahead with the relationship. Another definition by the Institute in Basic Life Principles…refers to courtship as: ‘a relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other.’”

    On core values, which they also mentioned, I wrote: “What are your core values and what are your partner’s? Core values are principles and qualities that guide your internal conduct and determine how you relate with the external world. Your core values define who you are; they go to the root of your existence. They are sacred to you and non-negotiable a lot of the time. They might be ethical, religious, intellectual, social, appearance-related, etc. It is important that you share common core values with your potential spouse. If you don’t, then it is not advisable for you to continue the courtship. But if you do only in some and not all aspects, you need to check how acceptable or unacceptable what is lacking is to both of you. Are they things you can live with or without? Sometimes it is not the level of compatibility that holds the marriage together; it is the ability of couples to manage their inevitable differences.” My question is, what were they doing before they decided to get married. I guess every other thing, except ask for the face of God, ask critical questions and do critical analysis.

    Their second advice is, “even if you believe you heard from God, there’s no need to rush to the altar. Take your time and enjoy the process of courtship, or you’ll find yourself getting to know each other after you’re already married.” First, let me quickly say that you cannot fully know your spouse during courtship. The “knowing” continues after marriage. In addition, I will refer you to two bible passages. The first is 1 John 4:1 – “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” When it comes to testing the spirit as regards marriage, my favorite biblical passage is Genesis 24: the marriage of Isaac to Rebecca, God’s unseen hand, Abraham’s uncompromising stance and the extraordinary faith and faithfulness of Abraham’s servant.

    I will break their last piece of advice into pieces and deal with it one issue after another. “Don’t underestimate the amount of work that it takes to build a strong marriage…” True. Making a marriage work is a full time occupation. As I said some time ago, like your body, it needs daily nourishment, if not it will deteriorate. Like a bank account, you have to make deposits regularly because you make withdrawals knowingly and unknowingly. Unless you consciously make deposits, your account (marriage) can easily go into deficit.

    They also said, “…Go to marriage seminars together before getting married, learn what it really takes, and make sure you’re both willing to put in the work together.” Thankfully, religious and government organisations have realized the importance of pre-marriage seminars and have designed topics for people preparing for marriage. Marriage is a higher institution like universities and polytechnics and every potential entrant should prepare for it. If you fail to prepare for marriage, you are already preparing for failure. Finally, they said “…If you don’t grow together you’re gonna grow apart” (Go to https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/08/marital-intellectual-disequilibrium/ and read more on this).

    In school, we were taught that oddity is news. That is why this couple’s story was in the news because it is odd for a newly-divorced couple to go out together for a “celebratory lunch.” But what are they celebrating? A failed marriage? Do people celebrate failure? I have seen one party in a divorce case “celebrate” after divorce for varying reasons. If you personally know the story of some of these people, you will empathise with them, your firm belief in the indissolubility of marriage notwithstanding. For some, it has become a case of stay in the marriage and die or get out and be alive.

     

    Get me right, there is nothing wrong with divorced parties meeting or having lunch together occasionally. They do meet to discuss the welfare of the children, go for lunch or dinner occasionally with the children and also get together with the children at Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving (America, Canada, etc). But a lunch by divorced parties to “celebrate” their divorce is meaningless and pointless; it is an aberration. I know that sometimes, people enjoy being in the limelight, but it is also important that we point it out that this former couple was in the news for the wrong reasons, so that those coming behind will not be misled.

     

     

  • ‘My wife slaps me at slightest misunderstanding’ – Man seeks divorce

    ‘My wife slaps me at slightest misunderstanding’ – Man seeks divorce

    A auto mechanic, Olumayowa Afolabi, on Tuesday urged an Ile-Tuntun Customary Court in Ibadan to dissolve his 17-year-old marriage to his estranged wife, Mojisola, on grounds of disrespect, threat to life and frequent assault.

    In his testimony before the court, the petitioner, who lives at Odeyan-Akanran road in Ibadan, said that he was no longer willing to continue in the relationship with his wife so as to save himself the embarrassment of constant slaps from her.

    “My lord, if someone had told me that Mojisola would turn out to be beating me, I would have argued that it was impossible.

    “It all began in 2018 when she first gave me a deafening slap when I challenged the bad role she played in the fight among four young teachers living in our house.

    “Ever since that time, Mojisola does not hesitate to slap me anytime there was an issue between both of us.

    “In fact, she got so used to slapping me that she even did it in the presence of her younger siblings who themselves complained against it,’’ he said.

    Olumayowa said that her misbehaviour climaxed on Jan. 1, during the crossover service in church when Mojisola humiliated him by pushing him away in front of the congregation when spouses were exchanging greetings.

    “Worst still, she stripped me naked and beat the hell out of me around May because I prevented her from going out late in the night to collect her phone.

    “Mojisola has repeatedly shown it times without number that she no longer loves me and as a result denies me my conjugal rites,” Olumayowa said.

    However, Mojisola prayed the court not to dissolve the union, adding that her close friend, who was in an amorous relationship with her husband, was the cause of the crack in their marriage.

    She also denied slapping Olumayowa.

    “Our church and family friend named Esther Oluremi, who my husband engaged to run our poultry farm, is the one causing disaffection in our matrimonial home.

    “The woman has sent her husband packing from his matrimonial home and when we visited her on Jan. 1, this year, I was in the sitting room when Olumayowa went to her bedroom and I saw him putting makeup powder on her face.

    “That was the reason why I pushed Olumayowa in the church.

    “He has also given custody of our children to Oluremi,” Mojisola explained.

    In her counter claim, Oluremi said that Mojisola, her friend, was a pathological liar.

    She contended that the poultry farm was jointly owned by her and Afolabi’s family and that the children were living with her because they were studying with her own children.

    Delivering judgment, Chief Henry Agbaje, held that the damage done to the relationship was irredeemable, hence the dissolution.

    He awarded custody of the first two children produced by the union to the petitioner and the last to the respondent.

    The arbitrator also ordered Olumayowa to pay N4, 000 as the child’s monthly feeding allowance in addition to taking responsibility of her education and other basic needs.

  • ‘My husband records romantic moments with his concubines and plays them to me’

    ‘My husband records romantic moments with his concubines and plays them to me’

    A fashion designer, Kudrat Oyewole, on Tuesday, petitioned an Ile-Tuntun Customary Court in Ibadan, seeking dissolution of her two-year-old marriage with her husband, Sikiru.

    Kudrat is seeking the divorce on grounds of harassments and unfulfilled marital life.

    The mother of one testified before Chief Henry Agbaje, the court’s President that she had endured sadness and frustration in her matrimonial home.

    She further said that her husband kept her and the child in a lonely developing site to live a ghostly existence and to starve.

    “Sikiru keeps ignoring my plea to empower me by paying for my shop as a fashion designer.

    “He also tells me that I had the option to pack out of his home if I was not ready to keep living a wasteful life with him.

    “In fact, Sikiru usually record some of his romantic moment with his concubines on his mobile phone and plays it in my presence to further frustrate me.

    “I reported him to his parents, but he never changed.

    “Just two weeks ago when I went to visit my uncle, he changed the key to the house and locked me out because I didn’t get back in time.

    “I am tired of staying with Sikiru, I also want to make progress in life,’’ Kudrat told the court.

    However, the respondent, who lived at Fatusi area in Ibadan, opposed the suit and denied some of the allegations levelled against him.

    He submitted that his wife was fond of frequently running to her parent’s home anytime there was a misunderstanding between both of them.

    “Kudrat went to enrol for a menial job without my knowledge and I told her that such behaviour doesn’t happen in our own family.

    “That was the reason why I prevented her from entering.

    “I have done everything humanly possible to rent Kudrat a shop, but she is not ready to be patient.

    “She must also learn to stop running to report me to her relatives,’’ Sikiru told the court.

    In his ruling, Agbaje appealed to the duo to exercise patience with each other.

    He directed them to provide more evidence to support their arguments and adjourned the case until Oct. 6 for the continuation of hearing.

  • Divorce: God has freed me from captivity, FFK’s ex-wife speaks

    Divorce: God has freed me from captivity, FFK’s ex-wife speaks

    Precious Chikwendu, estranged wife of politician and lawyer, Femi Fani-Kayode has given a cryptic response to news about her failed marriage.

    On her Instagram page on Thursday, the former Miss United Nations quoted Psalm 126 Verse1 -3 of the Bible:

    When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them. The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.

    From the post, it was obvious she expressed joy that she was free from some bondage of sorts.

    =News of the marriage breakup came into the public space on Thursday.

    Reports said Precious quit the relationship over domestic violence.

    Her family members told Premium Times that she quit over some lingering illness.

    This does not, appear to make sense, as that should bring them together, more as a couple.

    Fani-Kayode has denied he abused Precious and has even asked his lawyer to demand a retraction from a blogger, who broke the story of the separation.

    Precious who is 31, married Fani-Kayode in 2014. The marriage is blessed with four children, including a set of triplets.

    Known on Instagram as ‘Snowhiteey’, Precious also runs a Snowhite Pure Heart Foundation.