PSG player and Moroccan International, Achraf Hakimi Mouh and his Tunisian-Libyan-Spanish wife, Hiba Aboukare are on the verge of a divorce. Hakimi has been in the news for a while now because of his separation and pending divorce from Hiba, and the rape allegation against him. Two Fridays ago, the news broke that much Hakimi’s $17m net worth is in his mother’s name. Meanwhile, Hiba wants at least $8.5m (50per cent of Hakimi’s networth) in divorce settlement. Hiba only got to know after filing for divorce that she will not get that much. I even read that with a networth of $2m, Hiba is officially richer than Hakimi and would be the one to pay him divorce settlement. Anyway, I doubt if Hakimi would be interested in her money.
Opinions have been divided since the new development became public knowledge. Some people are taking side with him and his mother, Saida Mouh, while others are taking side with Hiba. I too have a very strong opinion on this matter. That is why I am writing on it today. Moreover, there are some lessons to be learnt by married people and those intending to go into marriage.
She is asking for divorce on grounds of adultery in a country where only about 47 per cent of the people find adultery “unacceptable.” No problem, it is a personal decision. Beyond promiscuity, Hakimi is alleged to have raped a lady. It is a grievous allegation, but the police are still investigating. Yet Hiba is already filing for divorce. She has also promised to offer support to the alleged rape victim against Hakimi when the police have not formally brought charges against Hakimi. Yet she wants $8.5m of Hakimi’s money to add to her current networth of about $2m to help her support the alleged rape victim! Meanwhile, Hakimi’s mother has jumped to his defense that that the rape allegation is false. You decide who is showing love between mother and wife.
On what grounds is Hiba asking for this money? Is it because she was married to him for three years or the two boys they had together? Or is it because of breaking his marital vow of fidelity? When former President Bill Clinton was caught pants down with Monica Lewinsky, Hilary Clinton, his wife, stood by him. She did not ask for divorce though she had grounds to do so. She stood by him through and through. For me, that is love and maturity. Hilary is the real deal.
When Cheryl Ann Tweedy, a famous singer in England, got tired of the former Arsenal left back, Ashley Coles’ infidelity, she divorced Cole. Unlike Hiba, Cheryl did not take any money from Cole. In fact, she let him keep their $8 million mansion. It was clear that her problem with Cole was his infidelity. She was sincere and transparent. If Hiba must go, why not do what Cheryl did? Just walk away to have your peace of mind. She can also ask for child support, which Hakimi is morally obliged to provide and it is allowed in the French legal system on divorce, but half of his wealth after only three years of marriage is pure greed.
I encourage married people to keep their marital vows, but not everyone does. When your spouse cheats in marriage, you have two legal options. You either forgive him/her and continue with the marriage, or you divorce your spouse. But if you want a divorce, be honourable about it and to behave like Cheryl, Ashley Cole’s wife. If not, you risk being seen as a gold digger. That is the problem people have with Hiba. She wants a bountiful harvest where she did not sow or sowed sparingly.
The primary reason for marriage is companionship. Where is the companionship when Hiba has filed for divorce after three years of marriage? And she wants $8.5m. If money was so easy to get, why is she worth only $2m after many years of acting? Money is tough to accumulate, yet she wants to rob someone of his hard earned money? Does she realise what footballers go through to get to Hakimi’s level? Islam encourages Muslims to uphold the values of JUSTICE and KINDNESS in divorce, and Hakimi and Hiba are “practicing Muslims,” but I cannot see these values in Hiba’s action.
Supporters of Hiba should realise that when you are 34 and go ahead and marry a 22 year-old-man, you have to deal with a lot of immaturity. Women mature way faster than men, not to talk of when there is a 12 years difference in age. Leaning on his supportive mother and his family for emotional support and answers to some life’s mysteries is inevitable. It is your choice on who to get married to, but life’s choices come with concomitant implications. Hiba should go and take tutorials from spouses who married considerably younger men/women.
I do not understand why people are dragging Hakim’s mother. Hakim’s wife never said her mother-in-law interfered in the marriage. For your information, Hakimi joined Real Madrid youth academy when he was just eight years old. He quickly rose through the ranks and made his professional debut for Real Madrid in October 2017 in a Copa del Rey match against Fuenlabrada. At this time, Hiba was not in the picture. His mother and family guided him. It was probably at this time his mother started managing his resources. He knows best why he maintained the status quo after marriage, but Hiba’s action has proven that Hakimi was right in keeping the bulk of his assets from her grips. You expose your assets to loving and loyal spouses, not greedy gold diggers.
Hakimi’s mother should be left alone. She is a wonderful African women. She was just being faithful to her son. Hakimi never complained that his mother mismanaged his money, so why the noise? In relationships between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, as long as the man is mature and none of the women is greedy, they can live harmoniously. It is greed and immaturity that bring issues between mothers-in-law and their daughters-in-law. So if you want to invent conflict between Hakimi’s wife and mother, blame the wife for her greed. In marriage, trust is earned not given. If you are committed to a relationship and go ahead to marry your fiancé/fiancée, trust is built gradually by positive actions. But if you become greedy, erratic or unpredictable, the trust diminishes.
May be, supporters of Hiba wanted another case of Emmanuel Eboue replayed. Emmanuel Eboue, a former Ivory Coast International, spent eight years in Arsenal. He made some good money, but lost a substantial part of his money and assets in England to his Belgian wife, Aurélie, in a divorce case. His saving grace were his assets and money in Africa (mainly Ghana and Ivory Coast) which the wife could not get her hands on.
As I was rounding up this article, Hakimi mother’s response came in: “If he (Hakimi) has taken any action to protect himself, I’m unaware of it. What’s the problem if the news is true? If my son does not do this, he will not be able to get rid of that woman [Hiba Abouk].”
Achraf Hakimi Mouh’s infidelity and the mother’s response notwithstanding, I still stand with him. If you do not know what marriage is all about, stand aside. Marriage is not an institution for gold diggers. If you want to dig gold go to Zamfara State, Ghana or South Africa.
NB: We shall talk about nuclear family and extended family relationship next week. Some women complained about the extended family (Hakimi’s mother specifically) in their reactions to the story.
