Tag: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

  • R.E.V.E.A.L.E.D: Doctors tried to save Osinachi using oxygen

    R.E.V.E.A.L.E.D: Doctors tried to save Osinachi using oxygen

    More revelations have emerged of how doctors tried to save the late popular gospel singer, Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu using medical oxygen in the hospital.

    TheNewsGuru.com (TNG) reports Senior Pastor of Dunamis International Gospel Centre Worldwide, Dr Paul Enenche made the revelation on Wednesday.

    According to Pastor Enenche, the late Osinachi responded very well to the oxygen therapy and that they felt excitement at that progress.

    Enenche said that was the point Osinachi’s condition was before he went for a crusade in Cameroon.

    “It was in Cameroon, the second night [of the crusade] that I got to know of the unfortunate incident of her passing,” he said.

    TNG recalls that Mrs Nwachukwu, 42, who is popular for her gospel hit song “Ekwueme” died last Friday night in an undisclosed hospital in Abuja.

    Earlier reports claimed that she died of throat cancer; however, the social media had been agog with allegations of constant beatings and bullying by the late singer’s husband, Mr Peter Nwachukwu, which many claim resulted in her death.

    Confirming the domestic abuse suffered by the late gospel singer, Enenche said he only got the wind of it when he questioned the twin sister, the first son and music producer of the deceased.

    Narrating how the church tried to save the life of Osinachi, the Dunamis senior pastor said he call different doctors to attend to her.

    “Over two and a half to three months ago, she came to see me with her husband with complaints of chest pain and respiratory distress.

    “And when the symptoms did not abate, I counselled that they go to the hospital to help us to know exactly what we were dealing with.

    “And they asked if I could assist, help them, and facilitate that process. I called our head of the medical team, Dr Sang, who is a consultant paediatrician with the Federal Medical Centre, Keffi to assist and handle the situation. And he called his colleagues at the Federal Medical Centre, Jabi, where they attended to them.

    “On seeing her, they ordered some investigations after examinations and that included CT scans and computerized axial tomography scans. That was done. From what the doctor saw, they felt that there was a need for further investigation, either at the University of Abuja Teaching Hospital or the National Hospital in Abuja.

    “I called the doctor at the University of Abuja Teaching Hospital, Dr Akor Alexander, and told him the situation and he asked that they come to see him immediately. And they went to the Gwagwalada teaching hospital.

    “After they had examined her there and saw the situation, they felt that there was a need for histology and biopsy of the lung tissue, and they asked that they should go to the National Hospital to get that done.

    “I again called the doctor, Jubril, who is head of pathology and consultant histopathologist of the National Hospital, Abuja, and reported the issue to him to help us go ahead with the investigations and find out what exactly happened.

    “I am calling names, I am calling places because the people are available and alive and they are verifiable.

    “And then, they continued the management. The histology was done and from what I saw at that time, the picture was much milder than what the CT scan earlier showed. So, we felt very happy that at least there was a relief.

    “She called me, literarily daily and we prayed with her. She reported progress. The point came when she needed no oxygen anymore. According to what she said to me one night, they checked her oxygen perfusion and it was 100% and we were very very excited at that progress,” Enenche narrated.

    He went further to say that if there was domestic violence that lead to or coincided with the symptoms that she came with two and a half to three months ago, there is no way he would know.

    Enenche said: “The things we were hearing after her passing, were things that were very very strange to my hearing. Then, I began to ask questions.

    “First, I asked the twin sister, were you aware that your sister passed through all these things? She said yes she knew some of them. But that the majority of them, she was hearing also from those she confided in.

    “I asked her if you knew, why didn’t you let us know. And the twin sister said she always begged her please don’t let the church know, don’t let the pastor know please, the man would change, just pray for us, the man will change. And that continued to happen.

    “I asked the first son yesterday, I said was this real? And the son told other stories. And I said, so, why didn’t you tell me because typically they will run to me after service and I will pray for them, lay hands on them, why didn’t you tell me about what was going on in the home?

    “And the young man said, they could not tell me because the father would always ask them after they left me, what did you tell the pastor, did you tell him anything, and so on and so forth.

    “Other members of the choir who were privy to what was going on, I asked several of them when we paid a visit to the house of the deceased yesterday. What happened? Why were we not aware of all these things? The same story, that she will always go on her knees and ask them please don’t, don’t, don’t, just pray, we are trusting God for him to change.

    “The last one that touched me so much was the music producer, who came to see me in the office two days ago to tell me his own experience, how he witnessed that the man slapped the wife in his studio.

    “And I said to him, you saw a man slapped a woman in your presence and you left the man alone and you are a man yourself. And he said before he could respond to the man, the woman again in tears on her knees begged him not to do anything, to leave him alone. And not even to do anything at all, and so on and so forth.

    “So, we have had these stories and these are the things we got to know after she has passed”.

    TNG, meanwhile reports the Public Relations Officer, of the FCT Police Command had on Monday confirmed the arrest of the late singer’s husband.

  • Churches should have ministry for divorced people – Anglican priest

    Churches should have ministry for divorced people – Anglican priest

    On the trending issue of marriage, domestic violence and divorce, an Anglican priest, Venerable (Dr) Paul Dajur has said the church should have a ministry for people who are divorced.

    TheNewsGuru.com (TNG) reports Venerable Dajur made this known on Wednesday in a statement, in which he stressed the church should not stigmatise those who have suffered divorce or are experiencing turbulence in their marriage and family.

    Dajur stated: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I think so much has been said here on these current trending matters. Here is the conclusion of the matter:

    “Marriage is ordained by God between male and female. Marriage is good. Do not allow the weakness of human beings make you hate what God ordained as good.

    “Do not rush into relationship and marriage based on the judgment of your emotions. Seek counsel and do a proper background check.

    “Watch and pray – “shine your eye well well.” Pray as if background checks do not matter; and balance with background check as if prayer does not matter. The two must work together.

    “Domestic Violence is a sin against God and against your spouse. Don’t contemplate violence and do not act violently against your spouse or any other person for that matter.

    “In the event of abuse, do not be silent. Depending on the degree of abuse speak up to the relevant authorities over your life – parents, church, disciplers, police and other law enforcement agencies. If the degree of abuse is threatening evacuate yourself from the place of abuse and seek godly counseling. Do not seek for divorce until the necessary grounds as permitted by the Holy Scriptures are fulfilled. Remember, God hates divorce; and He also hates abuse.

    “Do not hate the church because of the failure and experiences of individuals. The church is the body of Christ but it is made up of individuals who are fallible. Again, do not speak in a sweeping manner to deride and insult God’s servants – there are faithful servants of God who still uphold the truth of God in the Bible.

    “The church should not stigmatized those who have suffered divorce or are experiencing turbulence in their marriage and family. There should be a ministry towards church members in such condition. God is merciful, do not reduce the extent of his mercy. Prayerfully commit them to God for healing and help in life.

    “Ask God to help your abuser to change for good – do not give up on the covenant of marriage casually -Remember Ecclesiastes 5:1ff.

    “While you pray for change ask God to help you to forgive your abuser – forgiveness is a necessary biblical virtue.

    “Be available as a shoulder to those who are undergoing abuse and do not treat their experience with levity. Let them see you empathizing with them and not just making speeches.

    “In all things try not to sin against God, but carefully follow His commands and directions on marriage and family”.

  • BREAKING: What I know about Osinachi’s death – Pastor Enenche

    BREAKING: What I know about Osinachi’s death – Pastor Enenche

    Senior Pastor of Dunamis International Gospel Centre Worldwide, Dr Paul Enenche has finally opened up on the death of popular gospel singer, Mrs Osinachi Nwachukwu.

    TheNewsGuru.com (TNG) reports Dr Enenche opened up on the death of Mrs Nwachukwu in a video shared on his official Facebook page that has since gone viral.

    Enenche said he was never aware of domestic violence in the marriage of Osinachi to Mr Peter Nwachukwu while she was alive, that he only got to know after her passing.

    Narrating how he got to know about the domestic abuse in the marriage, Enenche opened up on steps taken to ensure that Osinachi stayed alive and that a point came where the late gospel singer no longer required oxygen.

    Pastor Enenche said: “We are in a season that calls for sober reflection in the light of the passing of our beloved sister, Osinachi Nwachukwu who is a kingdom and generation asset to this generation.

    “In the light of so much misinformation and misconstruction of events, I decided to set straight what I know concerning the situation.

    “Over two and half months to three months ago, she came to see me with her husband with complaints of chest pain, and respiratory distress. I prayed for her and prayed and prayed again.

    “And when the symptoms did not abate, I counselled that they go to the hospital to help us to know exactly what we were dealing with.

    “They asked if I could help them assist facilitate that process. I called our head of the medical team, Dr Osang who is a consultant paediatrician with the Federal Medical Centre, Keffi to assist handle their situation. And he called the Federal Medical Centre, Jabi, he called colleagues there where they attended to them.

    “On seeing her, ordered some investigations after examinations and that included CT Scan (Computed Tomography Scan). That was done, and from what the Doctor saw, they said there was a need for further investigations either at the University of Abuja Teaching Hospital or the National Hospital in Abuja.

    “I called the Doctor, consultant, a pulmonologist respiratory physician at the University of Abuja Teaching Hospital, Dr Akor Alexander, I told him the situation and he asked they come to see him immediately. And they went to the Gwagwalada Teaching Hospital.

    “After they have examined her there and saw the situation, they felt there was a need for histology and biopsy of the lung tissue and they asked she goes to the National Hospital to get that done.

    “I again called Dr Jubrin who is the head of pathology and consultant, histopathologist of the National Hospital in Abuja and reported the issue to him to help us go ahead with the investigation and find out what exactly happened.

    “I am calling names and calling places because the people are available and alive and they are all verifiable.

    “And then, they continued the management. The histology was done and from what I saw at that time, the picture was much milder than what the CT scan earlier on showed and so we felt very happy that at least, there was a relief.

    “She called me literally daily and prayed with her. She reported progress. A point came where she needed no oxygen anymore. According to what she said to me one night, they checked her oxygen perfusion and it was 100% and we were very very excited at that progress.

    “That was the point it was before we went over to the crusade in Cameroon. It was in Cameroon, the second night that I got to know of the unfortunate incident of her passing.

    “Now, if there was domestic violence that lead to or coincided with those symptoms that she came with two and half months to three months ago, there is no way I would know and if there had been perennial domestic violence, there was no way I would have known.

    “The things we are hearing after her passing were things that were very very strange to my hearing. Then I began to ask questions.

    “First, I asked the twin sister, are you aware that your sister passed through all these things. She said yes that she knew some of them. That the majority of them she was hearing from those she confided in. I asked her, I said if you knew, why didn’t you let us know? And the twin sister said, she always begged her, please don’t let the Church know, don’t tell the pastor, please the man will change, just pray for us that the man will change. And that continued to happen.

    “I asked the first son yesterday, I said was this real? And the son told other stories. And I said so, why didn’t you tell me because typically they will run to me after service and I will pray for them. Lay hands on them. I said, why didn’t you tell me about what was going on in the home? And the young man said they couldn’t tell me because the father would always ask them after they left me and said, what did you tell the pastor? Did you tell him anything? And so on and so forth.

    “Other members in the choir who were privy to these some of the things that were going on. I asked one of them when we paid a visit to the house of the deceased yesterday. What happened, why were we not aware of all these things? The same story that she would always go on her knees and asked them please, don’t, don’t, don’t, just pray, don’t, we are trusting God for him to change.

    “The last one that touched me so much was the music producer, who came to see me in the office two days ago to tell me his own experience of how he witnessed that the man slapped the wife in his music studio.

    “And I said to him, you saw a man slapped a woman in your presence and you left the man alone and you are a man yourself. And he said before he could respond to the man, the woman again in tears on her knees begged him not to do anything. To leave him alone. And not to do anything at all. And so on and so forth.

    “So, we have had these stories and these are all the things we got to know after she had passed.

    “As a person and as a Church, everyone who knows us knows that we have zero degrees of tolerance for domestic abuse and wife battering of any sort.

    “If you ever listen to any of our relationship messages, there is a principle, policy and a rule we have and that is; it is better to be alive without marriage than to die because of marriage. We’ve said that over and over. I am sure that some of us might have listened to the clips of those messages.

    “Now, this kind of time is the time where people heap all manner of the blame on the Church and that is typical because whatever goes wrong, the first point of call is the Church.

    “I have seen people ask questions, why should a wife abuser be a member of the Church or how can somebody be so brutal and he is a member of the Church?

    “That is not a question that people who know the Scriptures should ask.

    “You know the Ark of Noah, the same Ark that carried good animals also had evil beasts inside, same Ark.

    “You know Jesus Christ had the followership of what the Bible called the multitudes. And for me, multitudes means multiple attitudes; people with multiple inclinations; people with multiple tendencies; people with multiple behaviours. In fact, one of those that followed Jesus Christ was a thief who also sold him to death; he was called Judas Iscariot.

    “The question is, how could somebody who followed Jesus Christ as perfect as Jesus was; as instructive as he was; as impactful as he was and still be a thief and a murderer? That question is left for everybody to answer.

    “And I can tell you the worst of it all; there was a personality called Lucifer who was in Heaven and became Satan the devil under the nose of God in Heaven; a place where there was no sin and could have been no sin at all. This guy became the inventor and the originator of sin.

    “How is it possible for somebody to become a devil from being an Archangel right inside Heaven? That is how possible it is for anybody to be anything while inside the Church. Even the best of pastors, teachers, and preachers in the world cannot change any man or woman who is unwilling to be changed.

    “In case you feel frustrated at anything and you are airing your frustration here and there, or a transfer of aggression or frustration, the Church is not your place for transferring frustration and aggression.

    “We are willing to help you if you have so much bitterness, so much frustration and so much distraction in your life and you don’t know where to vent it but in situations like this, we can help you.

    “I want to let you know that we love you and Jesus loves you. It is well with you and it is well with your loved ones.

    “For the family of the deceased, we pray for strength and help and for the Body of Christ generally, it is well with you in Jesus’ name.

    “This is Dr Pastor Paul Enenche, Senior Pastor, Dunamis International Gospel Centre. God bless you”.

  • Osinachi’s sister reveals why the deceased chose to remain in her marriage despite domestic violence

    Osinachi’s sister reveals why the deceased chose to remain in her marriage despite domestic violence

    Ms Favour Made, elder sister of late Gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu, has explained why the deceased refused to divorce her husband, Peter, whom she accused of killing his wife.

     

    In an interview, Favour said members of their family had told Osinachi to divorce Peter following his alleged beating her, “but she felt that God is against divorce”.

     

    Favour pointed out the last beastly act of Peter to Osinachi, by kicking her on the chest, led to her untimely death and not that she succumbed to throat ulcer.

     

    In her words: “She did not die of cancer. The husband, Mr Peter Nwachukwu hit her with his leg on the chest. All this while, he has been beating her but my sister hides all that she was passing through from us.”

     

    On Osinachi divorcing Peter, Favour added: “We told her that they are not divorcing and that it’s just a separation.

     

    “We told her that separation is not a sin but just for her to stay alive and take care of her children. She will always tell us to relax and that the man will change.

     

    “So when the man kicked her in the chest, she fell down and he took her to the hospital but he did not even tell us.

     

    “It was her friend who lives in Ebonyi state that called her twin sister because Osinachi has a twin sister, to ask, ‘did your Sister tell you that Peter hit her on the chest? the sister then told her no.

     

    “It was the hitting on the chest that killed her. My brother had to ask the doctor what killed her and the doctor said that there were clusters of blood clot on her chest.

     

    “Unfortunately, they did not tell the doctor that she was kicked in the chest because the doctor could have known what to do if he had an idea of what happened.

     

    “Each time we talked to her, she will be pleading for peace and if we move to act, she will tell us no, that we should calm down.”

     

    Osinachi and her husband were living in Abuja, where she died. The marriage produced three boys and one girl.

     

    According to Favour, Osinachi and Peter met during one of her ministrations.

     

    “Nwachukwu saw how my sister was ministering, he then fell in love with her,” she said.

     

    Favour also revealed that Peter has not been arrested.

     

    “My younger brother who had gone to see the children said Nwachukwu is not arrested, he is in his house in Abuja. When my brother got there, the children were so happy to see him and they told him that they want to come and see their grandmother who is my mother.”

  • Domestic violence in marriage: Why divorce is not the answer – Anglican cleric

    Domestic violence in marriage: Why divorce is not the answer – Anglican cleric

    A cleric in the Church of Nigeria, Anglican Communion, Diocese of Abuja, Venerable (Dr.) Paul Dajur has argued that divorce is not the answer to the menace of domestic violence in marriage.

    TheNewsGuru.com (TNG) reports Venerable Dajur made this known on Palm Sunday in a sermon at Basilica of Grace, Gudu in reaction to the death of popular gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu.

    Recall that on Friday, April 8, 2022, news broke that Osinachi, known by many for her hit song ‘Ekwueme’, which resonates in the hearts of many as a soul-stirring song, had passed away.

    The nation was thrown into mourning for she was loved by many, but reports quickly emerged from friends of the singer that Osinachi died due to maltreatment at the hands of her husband, sparking anger and debate that divorce should be allowed in marriage, even when earlier reports claimed that she died of throat cancer.

    Speaking in the sermon titled: “Who is this?”, Dajur described the death of Osinachi as saddening, but stressed that God hates divorce, adding that God likewise hates domestic violence and that what should be the bone of contention is how to stop domestic violence.

    Charging married people to remove everything that is toxic from their lives, the Anglican cleric stressed the need to take pre-marriage counselling and in-marriage counselling very seriously.

    Stressing that the world is getting worse more than ever before and that challenges are now more than before, requiring more understanding from spouses, Dajur also charged married people and those intending to marry to remove lies from their lives.

    “The issue of divorce and domestic violence are two related issues that God does not permit. God does not sanction, does not approve of such. God says in His Word that he hates divorce. God also does not approve and does not support domestic violence of any kind.

    “Recently, social media is agog with pictures and comments supporting divorce in the place of domestic violence. But the argument is simple. If God hates divorce, and God hates domestic violence, why are we now disobeying God in approving divorce and obeying God in stopping domestic violence?

    “So, the issue really is not divorce, not whether to approve it or not, but to deal with the root of the matter. What brings domestic violence? That is what should be the focus, not about disobeying God in approving divorce. When we approve divorce we are disobeying God, and disobeying His Word. So, disobeying God will not help us.

    “What can we do to stop domestic violence? We can stop domestic violence by ensuring that before marriage, those to be married are properly counselled and those people must be people who believe in God and believe the Holy Scriptures.

    “Because in the Bible, domestic violence, whatever names they are given, are not approved by God. So, if we have established that they are Christians and that they believe in God, then, they can now be married.

    “And, when they get married, counselling should not stop. There should be in-marriage counselling or marriage counselling. Those who are married, whatever their number of years in marriage should continue to receive counselling.

    “And then people should look at the value of human life. The wife you married, the husband you married, is in the image and likeness of God, and not a punching bag. So, there is no reason why you should fight your husband or fight your wife.

    “But, husbands are to love their wives; and wives are to submit to their husbands. Because that is what the Bible says. It says we should submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. The husband should love his wife as Christ loves the Church and died for the Church.

    “The wife must submit to her husband just in the same Sarah submitted herself to Abraham her husband and called him lord, my master.

    “So, if we do all these, it will help us. I do not think that the issue is disobeying God by saying okay, “let there be divorce”. The issue is, let us correct what brings about domestic violence. Certainly, divorce is not what brings about domestic violence; so it cannot be the solution to domestic violence,” Dajur said.

  • 89 Husbands beaten by their wives takes case to Lagos govt

    89 Husbands beaten by their wives takes case to Lagos govt

    The Lagos State Government on Tuesday said 89 husbands have reported battering by their wives in cases of domestic violence.

    Commissioner for Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation, WAPA, Cecilia Bolaji Dada disclosed this at a ministerial news conference to mark the second year of Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu in office, held in Ikeja, Lagos.

    According to the commissioner, in 2020, a total of 46 men reported at the ministry that their wives violated them.

    Dada added that in the first quarter of 2021, a total of 43 men reported battering by their wives, making a total of 89 in the last two years.

    She said this was the cases reported to WAPA and that some cases had been reported directly to the Ministry of Justice and police station which the ministry might not be aware.

    Dada, however, disclosed that a total of 664 women were battered by their husbands in Lagos in the last two years according to cases reported at WAPA.

    Giving a breakdown, the commissioner said 378 women were violated by their husbands in 2020, while 286 women were battered by their husbands in the first quarter of 2021.

    However, Dada disclosed that empowerment initiatives and Poverty Alleviation programmes of the ministry has impacted the lives of over 48,000 residents of the State in the last two years.

    She said WAPA would also start exposing its trainees to the use of technology and also enlighten women on newer practices in vocational training, considering the effects of COVID-19 and the need to adapt with the new normal within the digital space.

    “In view of this, there will be training of 500 women on entrepreneurial and digital marketing techniques come June 2021, as part of plans to mark this year’s International Widows’ Day.”

    “In addition, WAPA is equally expanding the scope of activities with a view to creating more avenues for our women to leverage on professional platform. That is why 5,780 participants were incorporated into our Mega Empowerment initiative, so that through their productivity, they can also contribute to the increase in GDP of Lagos State,” Dada stated.

    On the training programmes by the Ministry, the Commissioner reported that there had been positive feedback on all the programmes offered at its Skills Acquisition Centres, either Short-Term, Medium – term and Long – term empowerment initiatives on different skills, stressing that the graduate trainees from the government’s skills acquisition centres across the State are now contributing to the economic growth of the State , as employers of labour.

    In her words; “Our Mandate is to ensure that there is zero tolerance for mediocrity being caused by poverty, or induced by vulnerabilities from societal influences. This, we have achieved through the various trainings offered at the government-owned 19 skills acquisition centers in the State.

    “The Ministry created platforms for International Women’s Day , with highlights on the dynamism of women and a plan of action for ‘Women Assembly’, with over 11,400 women in attendance from the 57 Local Government/Local Council Development Areas where issues that could deter women emancipation, as well as debar efforts exerted at curbing poverty, in our State were extensively discussed.”

    She added that a total of 3,337 adults also benefited from the intervention health programmes, initiated by WAPA, stressing that 6, 780 women from 5 geographical areas of the State, also had the privilege of learning different vocations with participants receiving adequate start-up kits to enable them grow their businesses.

  • ‘Why spousal homicide is on the increase’

    ‘Why spousal homicide is on the increase’

    Two lawyers, Mrs Toyin Ojo and Mrs Bola Ajayi, in Lagos, on Wednesday, have linked the recent increase in spousal killings in the country to domestic violence.

    The lawyers, who spoke in separate interviews, said that domestic violence was the major factor responsible for the killings, adding that women were mostly the victims.

    Ojo said that most women killed by their husbands had been physically abused before the murder.

    “There have been cases of domestic violence between the spouses prior to the death. Most women that kill their husbands reacted to the accumulated abuse that the husbands have subjected them to”, she told NAN.

    She urged parents and religious leaders to stop advising couples to remain in abusive marriages.

    “Some spouses are advised to continue to endure the abuse and be prayerful for God’s intervention. Women should have been encouraged to leave abusive marriages, in order to avert incidences of killings”, Ojo said.

    According to her, most of the killings were accidental, the perpetrators only wanted to use the weapons to defend themselves only for their intentions to go wrong.

    In a similar vein, Ajayi said that some men believed they must be violent in order to be respected by their wives so as not to be seen as being weak.

    She said that childhood experience of violence and abuse was also responsible for homicide.

    “Men who were abused in their childhood or observed their fathers abusing their mothers are at greater risk for abusing their wives.”

    She advised that psychological assessments of intending couples be conducted before marriage, in order to curb the menace.

    Ajayi urged the police to always attend to victims of spousal abuse and not to dismiss and consider it as a family matter.

    She also listed a history of stalking, infidelity, lack of trust and insecurity as other factors of spousal killings.

  • Feminism cause of domestic violence in marriage-Pete Edochie

    Feminism cause of domestic violence in marriage-Pete Edochie

    Veteran actor, Pete Edochie has said feminism is the cause of domestic violence women suffer in marriage.

    Edochie made this known in a chat with BBC Igbo.

    “Feminism isn’t something black people are known for. Once a woman leaves her parents to meet her husband and take his surname, she is to be submissive to him. If she wasn’t married, she can do whatever she wants,” he said.

    “Women walk and show off their behinds, it’s so that men would find them. If you see such a woman and express your marriage interest, then she starts walking properly. Our women now plunge into feminism nowadays.

    “They can’t even keep their husbands anymore. Is that a good thing? These women are schooled but a lot of wives now can’t even cook — one thing that a woman should be good in so as to be able to keep her husband.

    “My mother was not educated but she would cook all sorts of soups, including bitter leaf, Oha, Ogbono, Okro, Egusi, Ukwa, and what have you. My father would always get back home hurriedly to eat what his wife had cooked.

    “Today, our wives can’t even cook anymore. Women who can’t cook aren’t supposed to call themselves women. And feminism is what causes women to be beaten up in marriages. You complain to a woman and she retorts.

    “It becomes unbearable, so you stretch your arm and deal her a slap. Domestic violence starts. I don’t like seeing women crying because it hurts me deeply. But it is the fault of the woman herself a lot of times.”

    Speaking further, Edochie averred that feminism has no place in Nigeria’s culture.

    “To be honest, the understanding of women is low. I’m not a misogynist but I’ve associated with them a lot, even at work. Feminism has no place in our culture. We don’t worship women as the whites do,” the 74-year-old added.

    “In the west, women could join forces and accuse a male colleague of assault. The man resigns. This can’t happen in our culture. As a young woman, if pedestrians don’t admire you, you’d weep for fear of not being beautiful.

    “I’m a strong adherent of culture. Kneeling to put a ring on a woman’s hands is not our culture. Any man who does that transfers the headship of his family to that woman. Until my dad died at 96, he never knelt to propose.

    “It’s just like kneeling down on entering a church because there’s a higher being to whom you’re paying respect. Men climb trees to tap palm wine. How does it look if women do the same? Today women dictate to me.

    “It wasn’t like that in our days. How women talk to men nowadays isn’t how we were raised. My mother was never beaten. My wife and I have been married for 52 years. I never beat her. My five married sons don’t beat their wives.”

     

  • Choose to challenge domestic violence against women – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    Choose to challenge domestic violence against women – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    Ozioma Onyenweaku

    The choice of Choose To Challenge as the theme for 2021 International Women’s Day’s celebration is quite apt. unless an undesirable status quo is challenged, it never changes for good. Every progressive change ever made in different aspects of life has been as a result of someone or some people challenging the existing one. So it is quite instructive, therefore, to call for a challenge in any area we desire a change. Today we do well to challenge domestic violence in Nigeria, in Africa, and world over.

    Domestic violence, particularly against women in Nigeria and all other African countries is a problem deep rooted in culture and social norms; social norm that accepts the hitting of woman a form of discipline.

    Granted anybody can be a victim of domestic violence, but traditionally and more often than not, domestic violence is committed against women and children. Common forms of violence against women in Nigeria are rape and other forms of sexual abuse, acid attacks, molestation, wife beating, harmful traditional practices, emotional and psychological violence.

    Domestic violence cuts across race, ethnicity, and geographical location; it respects no class, age, or social status.

    In some cultures, it is not usual for women to speak up in public, and so many female victims of violence suffer in silence.

    Being culturally and socially tolerated, domestic violence against women grew to an unprecedented level in Nigeria leading to many deaths.

    Before now, domestic violence was treated solely as family issue and private to the family; and not to be handled or looked into by any external person or body. So, perpetrators of domestic violence were left on the prowl as they were never prosecuted. And, of course,there were no legislations protecting anyone from domestic abuse.

    It was only when voices started raising against it that the government started taking action. Lagos State blazed the trail with passing into law the Lagos State Protection Against Domestic Violence Law, PADVL 2007. The federal government on its own passed The Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act of 2015, which prohibits female genital mutilation, harmful widowhood practices, harmful traditional practices and all forms of violence against persons in both private and public life. This, of course, is applicable only in the federal capital territories. States are to pass same into their State’s respective laws in order to be operative in those states.

    Following the federal Act, Oyo state, in 2016, passed its own laws against violence; followed by Kaduna state in 2018, Anambra State in 2018, Enugu State in 2019, Bauchi State in 2020, and the latest being Abia State on October 1st 2020.

    These laws will remain laws on the paper if people particularly victims of domestic violence do not break the silence culture, and stand up against the violence by speaking out.

    In some cultures, it is not usual for women to speak up in public, and so many female victims of violence suffer in silence. To such women, I say, the world has now moved forward. There are laws now protecting you; so all you need do is speak out, and die not in silence.

    We all have a duty, a social responsibility, to challenge domestic violence against women and violence of any sort. In as much as none should be encouraged to leave her marriage, please do not stigmatize any woman for leaving abusive marriage. Many have lost their lives for fear of this stigma.

    No woman would like to leave her marriage except her life or mental health is in danger. The report from the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team DSVRT shows that most of the women who had been there only wanted the violence to stop; and were not consider leaving their husbands. Women cherish and treasure their marriages. But where the marriage presents danger to her life and health, and she leaves, why should she be condemned and stigmatized?

    Many families, particularly the woman’s family, prefer family image to the life and health of their daughters. That is why most of the time, when a woman runs from abusive marriage, her parents would tell her to go back so as not to bring shame to the family. We must stop all these.

    I appreciate the Abia state governor’s wife, Deaconess Nkechi Ikpeazu for pushing tirelessly for the passing into law the Violence Against Persons Prohibition, VAPP, law in Abia State which became a reality on 1st October 2020;Also, Chief Steve Mpamugo, for showing zero tolerance for domestic violence against women within his Local Government. His prompt action in the recent case of the woman almost battered to death in his local government area is well appreciated. Thank you, youths of iIkwuano Local government area, for choosing to challenge domestic violence against women in your area. We are following through on the case on ground.

    May we, all of us, choose to challenge domestic violence against women.

  • Straight talk on domestic violence – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    Straight talk on domestic violence – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    Ozioma Onyenweaku

    There have been a lot of outcries over the rate of domestic violence in recent times. Some get to the news. Some do not. Most that get to the news come out scary and most times life has been lost.

    One of those that made the news recently in Nigeria is that of Pius of Channels TV and Dr. Ifeyinwa.

    My special attention has been drawn to the case of Dr. Ifeyinwa and her journalist husband, Pius, for obvious reasons. Her story has been that her six years of marriage to her husband had been painful experience of domestic violence; she has four children with one being just 4 weeks old. She had the birth through caesarian section. She advised her husband to stop spending recklessly on women but to save for the training of their children. The husband pounced on her, sat on her stitches (from the caesarian section) and tried strangling her while the children were there screaming. She made a video of her bruised face and posted on social media. It went viral.

    I read a lot of the reactions from people as this news of domestic violence hit the social media. Some, mostly women, demanded that she left the home; some asked why she was still in the house and had not left. Few outrightly condemned the violent act. I share some of the different reactions below.

    • She must have brought out the criminal in this man. Some married women today are delialah o”
    • Why must we help an adult to leave the fire? Imagine a medical doctor disgracing her profession
    • You are exposing yourself to the public, most others suffer worse than what you see
    • We must learn to be discreet and not to expose ourselves at every domestic problem
    • No matter the offence this is not acceptable
    • Sorry oo! Is a pity. Just communicate your marriage into the hand of God; God will definitely take control in a way that you will ‘marvled’ And do not let your children to begin to hate their father so that the marriage will not collapse.
    • You want Channels to sack him and you will expect him to provide for the family
    • I am sure he has been doing good to her and her parents but not disseminating on social media
    • She is African. In Africa, infact in Igbo tradition, woman no dey commot from husband’s house. If you can’t change igbo tradition then I don’t see the need for all this. So you want her to leave her husband? Wahala be like kite.

    I actually marveled at some of the reactions. From most the male folks that reacted only very few outrightly condemned the violent act of Mr. Pius as having no justification whatsoever.

    Who says it is an African tradition to batter a wife? Granted, it was, and still is in some areas, a thing frowned at for a married woman to run back to her parents’ house. But many women have been lost in the process. Are we still to tow that line? What would make a man batter a woman who has just had a baby barely 4 weeks through caesarian operation?

    What marriage will a dead married woman have saved when she dies in the marriage? I believe strongly in the sanctity and preservation of marriage but not at the risk of anyone’s life. God holds accountable anyone who is in a position to protect life but fails to do so; and that includes one’s own life.

    Preservation of children’s mental and emotional health is one of the top reasons why a woman would do well to leave an abusive marriage. Children who witness domestic violence not just become violent themselves but are also messed up mentally and emotional growing up.

    Acknowledging that most women go through worse forms of violence without speaking up, does it make it right?

    Well, I am happy that a governor has reconciled them; but asking the woman to quickly move back to the house does not settle well with me because of certain experiences I know of. The young man Pius might be needing help himself. He could be under some mental and emotional stress. So recommending and sending him for psychological evaluation would have been the first step.

    A man who sat on his wife’s stitches after few weeks of the stitches definitely did not mean well for the woman; and I do not believe the young man would desire death for his young beautiful wife. Who takes care of the four little lovely kids!

    Without the psychological evaluation, Pius might become violent again, and this time it might be deadly. To say ‘God forbid’ we must do the needful.