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Tag: Family

  • Orisabunmi, siblings’ death not Covid-19 related, says family

    Orisabunmi, siblings’ death not Covid-19 related, says family

    The family of the late Nollywood actress, Mrs Folakemi Aremu, popularly known as Orisabunmi, has debunked the reports linking her death and that the death of her siblings to COVID-19 complications.

    The late actress, aged 61, died on January 6 while her elder brother, Mr Steve Onisola, who was the Technical Director of Kwara Falcons Basketball Club of Ilorin, died on January 7, at the age of 72.

    Their younger sister, Mrs Janet Ademola, was said to have died as a result of complication arising from the shock of her siblings’ death on January 9.

    However, some reports that went viral on social media platforms stated that Orisabunmi contracted COVID19 at an event where a popular gospel artiste, Esther Igbekele, performed in Ibadan, Oyo State in December.

    The report added that Orisabunmi later infected other family members.

    However, the family described the reports as unfounded lies.

    Oluwaseun Adelubi, a member of the family, said, “We have been hearing and reading the unfounded lies being circulated on social media about their death being Covid19 related but I can tell you that it is a lie, such nonsense should be ignored.

    “I am not sure what those behind the lies want to achieve with their stupid act of misinforming unsuspecting members of the public with unfounded lies about the Onisola family. The coach died in Ilorin while Orisabunmi and aunty Bukky died in Ibadan.

    READ ALSO Nollywood loses veteran actress Orisabunmi

    “Death is not what anybody prays for, but the death toll in the family, last week, is not about COVID-19. It was just a coincidence and we have been praying to God to avert such an event in our family.”

  • Family of four tests positive for COVID-19 in Nasarawa

    Family of four tests positive for COVID-19 in Nasarawa

    Mr Matthew Kuju, Publisher of Eggonnews, a Community Newspaper in Nasarawa State and three members of his family have tested positive for COVID-19.

    This is contained in a statement personally signed by Kuju on Thursday, in Lafia.

    “On Monday Jan. 4, I took my family, six of us, for COVID-19 test in Lafia, although none of us had symptoms of the disease.

    “Two days later, the results came out, disclosing that four of us, including myself, are positive.

    “Although still asymptomatic, the four of us have been isolated and are taking laid down treatment,” he said.

    Kuju enjoined members of the public to pray for their quick recovery.

    He also advised residents to present themselves for routine tests, with or without symptoms to ascertain their status.

    Kuju urged Nigerians to always abide by COVID-19 safety protocols, put in place by the authorities to curb its spread.

    “Coronavirus is real and not a respecter of age or position, therefore, we all have responsibility to prevent its spread in our state and Nigeria as a whole,” he said.

  • Family announces date for Chico Ejiro’s funeral

    Family announces date for Chico Ejiro’s funeral

    The family of late Nollywood producer, Chico Ejiro has slated Saturday, February 20, 2021 for his burial.

    This was made known in a statement released and signed by his brother Zeb Ejiro, on behalf of the family.

    The statement titled ‘Our illustrious son, Chico Ejiro is gone’ reads :“The Ejiro family of Ozoro, Isoko North Local Government Area of Delta State, wish to formally announce the untimely passing to eternity of their most cherished son, Chico Ejiro on Christmas day, December 25, 2020.

    “His demise followed complications arising from high blood pressure for which he had been treated . He had returned delightfully to the only business he was so passionate about and had concluded his movie shoot barely two days before Christmas. His painful death was a tragic drama that took less than 10 minutes and there was silence.

    “Chico as he was widely known both locally and internationally, was a distinguished creative industry entrepreneur, a film and television Director/Producer, a talent investor and cineaste. He was reputed to have directed over 95 movies , a fit often hailed as unprecedented in Nigeria’s motion picture industry known as Nollywood. It was for his pacy and innovative directorial production style at the nascent stage of Nollywood that he was nicknamed Mr Prolific.

    “Beyond his core industry practice, Chico was known for his humane spirit, a deeply kind nature , his uncommon humility and amiable aura that inspired the wide partnerships he built and network of friends within and outside of the creative industry.

    “His company, Grand Touch Pictures, was known to have partnered with over 30 different movie organisations for television, film and reality TV show productions.

    “Importantly, Chico was a family man. He was totally committed to the cause of the welfare and happiness of his family. No matter where he was , whatever meeting, no matter how important the occasion, everything stopped at the call of his family.

    “His devotion to his wife, children and indeed sibblings was simply exemplary. He was passionately attached and ever grateful to his elder brother and mentor , Zeb Ejiro, OON, who inspired his career switch to the motion picture industry even though he read Agriculture at the university.
    Chico in the last six years had devoted his entire life and resources to assure the health and survival of his youngest child who was diagnosed with cancer related ailments while still a toddler.

    “His devoted wife, Joy Ejiro , has since been in the US to attend to their son and had returned with him temporarily for the yuletide holiday after being away for two years .

    “The funeral for this scion of Isoko nation, South-South region and indeed Delta state has been fixed for Saturday, February 20, 2021.
    He is survived by wife, children, sibblings, uncles and cousins.

    SIGNED
    Zeb Ejiro, OON
    For the Ejiro Family.

  • COVID-19, Bill Gates and the Family, By Sonnie Ekwowusi

    COVID-19, Bill Gates and the Family, By Sonnie Ekwowusi

    By Sonnie Ekwowusi

    “Stay-safe, Stay-at-home”, “Stay away from COVID-19 by staying-at-home”. These coronavirus catchphrases and other similar ones constantly dominate the socio-political space all over the world today. They also underline the importance of the family institution as a fundamental pillar of society. They further illustrate that despite the role of government in nation building and the much-vaunted philosophy about government and all that, the family remains the last bulwark against societal injustices and societal miseries. No place like home. Everything may seem to be collapsing; your bank account may be empty; it may appear as if you have reached the end of your tether and could no longer find the strength to trudge ahead in life but do not worry. You have not failed. Your resting place is your home. Whether it is a ramshackle hut in the remotest village in Africa or the most imposing skyscraper in the richest country in the world your home is your home.

    And now that the economy, schools, banks, International Financial institutions- World Bank, International Monetary Fund (IMF) and others, United Nations, Stock Exchange, Executive, Legislature, Judiciary, Internet, social media, advancements in science, technology, economic development, social organization are failing modern man he is invariably and irresistibly seeking and finding protection and succour in his home. So much fuss about the economy. But we forget that there is a correction between family growth and economic growth. In case you don’t know, the economy needs healthy family, honest and responsible workforce to sustain it. In other words, the economy has stake in the family and vice-versa. Come to think of it, the economy does not manufacture honest work force, good investors or economists or financiers and others to sustain the economy. Honest work force, good investors or economists, financiers and others are products of the family. Consequently family failure easily translates to decline in productivity, loss of profit and may even lead to complete economic failure. Therefore the family, if you like, is that social compass that holds the world together. The family institution is the very key institution upon which the human society lays its claim to civilization.

    It is therefore a big paradox that the family institution is systematically been whittled down or destroyed today. World turned upside down. Imperiling the family is tantamount to imperiling human civilization. For example, in Africa the family institution is an authentic safety-net that caters for the well-being of the individual. The African communalism (Notably propounded by the late University of Ibadan Emeritus Professor Jacob Festus Ade-Ajayi) or the African communal spirit of sharing or the spirit of egbe belu ugo belu (The spirit of live-and-let-live) is a veritable social-safety system embedded with the social security for the socialization and improvement of the well-being of the individual. A person born into an African family depends on his/her family for virtually everything. Unlike in the West where children are wont to dispatch their old parents to the Old People’s Homes, the African oldies, whether they are still productive or not, always have their rightful places in the family where they are continually respected, revered and protected.

    But unfortunately what we have been witnessing in Africa Nigeria inclusive over the years is a profound systematic destruction of the African families especially by the United Nations Population Funds (UNFPA), Marie Stopes International abortion clinics, Cuttmacher Institute and others. In Nigeria, the multi-billion local and foreign organizations which have ceaselessly been in the vanguard of mowing down human capital are: United Nations Population Funds (UNFPA), Marie Stopes International abortion clinics, Cuttmacher Institute, Family Health International (FHI), International Women’s Health Coalition (IWHC), Population Services International (PSI), International Consortium of Medical Abortion (ICMA), Union for African Population Studies (UAPS), Population Reference Bureau (PRB), Planned Parenthood Federation of Nigeria, (PPFN), Nigeria Centre for Disease Control (NCDC) funded by American multi-billionaire Bill Gates and others You may be aware that between 1942 and 1943 a collection of some of the literary works of English author Clive Staples Lewis (C.S Lewis, 1898–1963,) including his The Screw Tape Letters and the first series of his Broadcast Talks were published and later incorporated into his other works such as Mere Christianity, Perelandra, that Hideous Strength (these last two were part of his Ransom Trilogy), and The Abolition of Man. You will recall that by late March 2020 an excerpt purportedly culled from C. S. Lewis’ The Screw Tape Letters was circulating on the social media. At that time many social media warriors and social media activists found the purported excerpt interesting. The purported excerpt involved an exchange between Satan and Jesus Christ. The said exchange allegedly occurred in the aftermath of a pandemic similar to COVID-19 in the time of C.S Lewis. Some deny that the excerpt was culled from C.S Lewis’ The Screw Tape Letters, Nevertheless, please permit me to reproduce the said except, if not for anything, for the purpose of buttressing our argument in this piece. Whereas Satan had boasted that he would cause confusion and anxiety in the world and shut down businesses and places of worship during a pandemic similar to COVID-19 that occurred in the time of C.S Lewis, Jesus Christ promised that he will restore and strengthen the family unit during that pandemic time. Below is the full exchange between Satan and Jesus. Satan: “I will cause anxiety, fear and panic. I will shut down business, schools, places of worship, and sports events. I will cause economic turmoil”. Jesus: “I will bring together neighbours, restore the family unit, I will bring dinner back to the kitchen table. I will help people slow down their lives and appreciate what really matters. I will teach my children to rely on me and not the world. I will teach my children to trust me and not their money and material resources”.

    Whether you choose to believe or disbelieve the aforesaid exchange between Satan and Jesus, one incontrovertible truth today is that the coronavirus scourge has created anxiety, fear and panic, whether real or imagined, in the minds of so many people. It has also led to the shutting of down of businesses, schools, places of worship and sports events. Consequently many have fled from their businesses, schools, places of worship and sports events and are now seeking protecting in their various homes. As we speak, many parents are not only happily reunited with their children at their various homes they are also forging the closely-knit family ties and communal bonds which were inconceivable prior to the outbreak of the coronavirus pandemic.

    But unfortunately speculations are rife today that under the pretext of preventing people from contracting the dreaded coronavirus infection Bill Gates and Dr. Anthony Fauci have rolled out the Fauci-Gates Moderna Vaccine-mRNA-1273 which gradually would lead to the death of the person vaccinated with the vaccine, and, by extension on the long run would lead to the destruction of the family. Should we treat these speculations with levity? No. Why? Because both Bill Gates and Dr. Fauci have ceaselessly been advocating that there should not be too many human beings on earth. Like eugenic Margaret Sanger, Bill Gates and Fauci advocate that society should rid itself of “multiplication of bad stock” of human beings through birth control, abortion and eugenic sterilization of women.

    Remember Ms. Margaret Louise Sanger (1879-1966), founder of Planned Parenthood of America? Remember Sanger’s racist philosophy of exterminating the black population through imposed legal abortion, contraceptives and sterilization of black women?. If your answers to the above queries are in the affirmative, you will probably recall also that Sanger’s racist philosophy inspired Adolf Hitler in his view of eugenics and murdering of the “socially undesirable people”. Except that while Hitler committed his eugenics havoc against European Jews and others in the Nazi regime, Sanger directed her Planned Parenthood of America specifically to the extermination of Afro-Americans through forced abortion and sterilization of black American women. I have met Alveda C King, niece of civil rights icon Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. several times in the U.S. On one occasion I met her at a coffee shop in New York City. In fact, she invited some of us who had attended a Conference in New York City to have a taste of New York City coffee. On learning I was a Nigerian, she exquisitely turned to me and said; “Don’t let what happened to us happen to you”. By “us” she meant the Afro-Americans. And by “you”, she meant Nigerians.

    The infanticide in the U.S. otherwise called the black genocide is aimed at the elimination of Afro-Americans. For example, the No. 1 abortion clinic in New York City is called Dr. Emily’s Women Health Centre (google it, if you like). This clinic is situate right in the black neighbourhood in the Bronx, NY 10455. It is a clinic that specializes in killing the babies of Afro-Americans and black American girls. I have been to this clinic a few times. Whenever I am in New York City and have some free time I do not hesitate to go back to this clinic to campaign against the murder of defenseless babies. Everyday especially on weekends Afro-American girls and other black girls including some Nigerian girls are seen pouring in uncontrollably like water into this clinic to have their babies killed through abortion and painful abortificient injections.

    Undoubtedly the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is continuing where eugenic Margaret Sanger stopped in the elimination of the so-called “socially undesirable people” who, in its “wisdom”, are unfit to live. From Microsoft business Bill Gates has moved into the abortion contraception and eugenic business. Even Bill Gates’ dad called William Henry Gates II, better known as Bill Gates Sr., was on the board of abortion promoting giant called Planned Parenthood of America before the popular case of Roe V Wade which legalized abortion in the U.S was decided. It appears as if abortion (killing of babies) runs in the DNA of the Gates family. By the way, I want you to google, “Bill Gates is continuing the work of Monsanto”. If you do, you will listen to Vandana Shiva, 1993 Nobel laureate, environmental activist and author of Oneness Vs The 1%, explain to you the “nefarious strategy” of Bill Gates to destroy agriculture and agricultural yields in Africa. She said that her aforesaid new book contains avalanche of evidence substantiating Bill Gates’ destructive impact in Africa. Prior to the outbreak of coronavirus and the raging controversy about Fauci-Gates Moderna Vaccine-mRNA-1273 and all that, Bill Gates had viva voce admitted both in his action and words that he is on a mission to reduce the African population. For example, in his article entitled: Did Bill Gates Admit Vaccination are Designed so Governments can depopulate the World and written as far back as 10th March 2017, Alex Kasprak, who in fact is defender of Bill Gates, clearly admitted in his said article that Bill Gates and Melinda Gates advocate that pregnant mothers can kill any “unwanted baby” in their wombs through the process of medical abortion or contraception in order to limit the number of babies mothers could have and so doing depopulate the world. According to Bill Gates:” When a mother can choose how many children to have, her children are healthier, they’re better nourished, their mental capacities are higher — and parents have more time and money to spend on each child’s health and schooling. That’s how families and countries get out of poverty”. At an international Family Planning Summit co-hosted by the British government with the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and the U.N. Population Fund in London on July 11 2017, Melinda Gates told the summit that birth control and abortion empower women, and that she was “deeply troubled” by U.S. President Donald Trump’s decision to withdraw funding for abortion and birth control in Africa.

    In Nigeria, under the cover of “family planning” Conference, Bill Gates and Melinda Gates have been mounting pressure on the Nigerian government to encourage pregnant Nigerian women to kill their babies either through abortion, abortificients and sterilization of women. This is not a conspiracy theory. It is the truth. If you are in doubt you may google, “Bill Gates, Vaccines, abortion and population control in Nigeria” to ascertain the veracity of my assertion. You see, a lot of people are yet to understand that the over-bandied phrase, “family planning” or “family planning services” is a euphemism or dodgy phrase for abortion. Bill Gates and others are hiding under it to promote their abortion atrocities. Because the word “abortion” is repugnant in Nigerian socio-cultural and religious setting, Bill Gates and his cohorts have resorted to using euphemisms and dodgy words such as “family planning” or “family planning services” in order to avoid incurring the wrath of the Nigerian people. What is most incomprehensible is that abortion, abortificient, sterilization of women are illegal in Nigeria yet Bill Gates and others are habitually violating these laws unpunished. More importantly, the consensus reached at the various United Nations Conferences, is that the law passed in every developing county including Nigeria must reflect the diverse social, economic and environmental conditions of that country, with full respect for their religious, cultural backgrounds and philosophical convictions. With the greatest respect, I think it is improper for Bill Gates to violate the Nigerian laws and begin to impose abortion, abortificients and sterilization on Nigerian girls all in the name of population control. Can multi-billionaire Aliko Dangote dare violate any American law and get away with it? No. Can he dictate to American families the number of children they should have in the name of population control? No. So, why is Bill Gates violating our laws and getting it away with it? Why is he dictating to Nigerian families to reduce the size of their families?

    The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation together with Pfizer Pharmaceutical Inc. and the Children’s Investment Fund Foundation (CIFF) has rolled out in Nigeria a one-dollar self-injectable contraceptive called Sayana press injectable. Sayana press is an injection, with a very small needle. Women and girls can inject Sayana press in their body to prevent pregnancies. Sayana press injection is very dangerous. Its side effects are devastating. The most painful aspect is that Sayana press is being freely handed out to young Nigerian female students below the age 18 without parental consent. Many of these impressionable young girls are in secondary school dormitories and University hostels. Armed with Sayana press injection they are now constantly committing abortion and sterilization in their dormitories and hostels without the knowledge of their parents let alone their consent. For me, it is a big scandal that the Federal government is allowing the Bill Gates and Melinda Foundation to continue to ruin the life and future of young Nigerian girls. It is very disappointing that Nigerian parents are keeping quiet while the Bill Gates and Melinda Foundation continues to ruin their daughters with Sayana press.

    A study that has been carried out have shown that a girl or lady who takes birth control pills before her first child is born has at least 40% of increased risk of developing breast cancer and that a woman who has taken the pill for four or more times prior to the birth of her first child has a 72% risk factor in developing breast cancer. In October 2011, the New York Times published an article entitled Contraceptive Used in Africa May Double Risk of H.I.V. This article was based on a cohort study by prestigious medical Research journal The Lancet that clearly stated that “the risk of HIV-1 acquisition doubled with the use of hormonal contraception especially the injectable methods.” In addition to the HIV-related effects of this product, there is also the doubled risk of breast cancer demonstrated by various studies like the extensive research done by the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research centre, Seattle and published by the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) in February 2012, with the research team stating clearly after their studies : “We found that recent DMPA (Depo-Medroxyprogesterone acetate a.k.a Depo-Provera) use for 12 months or longer was associated with a 2.2-fold increased risk of invasive breast cancer.”

  • No more the war of the sexes – Owei Lakemfa

    By Owei Lakemfa.

    THE Hungarian Parliament in Central Europe on Tuesday, December 15, 2020 made a startling discovery that: “The mother is a woman, the father is a man.” This is an open secret we in Africa have known for thousands of years. It took 134 Members of the Hungarian Parliament to ratify this despite the determined efforts of five parliamentarians who remain unconvinced.

    The victorious parliamentarians say their intention is to protect Hungarian families, children and individuals’ rights to self-identify in accordance with their sex at birth. In giving way to religious intrusion in a secular state, the politicians said under the new law, children will be nurtured and cultured on the basis of the country’s new constitutional identity and Christian values. A fundamental part of the new law is Paragraph 1(L) which states that: “Hungary protects the institution of marriage as the association between a man and a woman and the family as the basis for the survival of the nation. The foundation of the family is marriage and the parent-child relationship. The mother is a woman, the father is a man.”

    This law, in the areas of sexual relations, marriage and definition of the nuclear family, fundamentally, aligns the Hungarians and the Africans in emphasising collective, traditional and cultural rights over individualism in an increasingly globalised but fractured world.

    I have come across some Africans who feel alienated in a world that seems confusing. They had been taught by the church that their traditional polygamy is not only sinful, but criminal because it is called bigamy. Now they are being taught that gayism and lesbianism which they thought were a sin and a crime, are neither sinful nor criminal, but are actually fundamental human rights, sanctioned, for instance, by The Church of England. Now, I ask, if the habitually conservative English gentry can be so radical, where can the traditional radicals seek sanctuary?

    In France, a new gender war is imminent as there is an attempt at reversal of roles with women oppressing men. This creeping discrimination against men was evident in Paris with the city appointing almost twice as many women to leadership positions as men. Paris Mayor, Anne Hidalgo revealed that: “In 2018, the city hall employed 11 women and five men for management positions, meaning that 69 per cent of the appointments went to women.” This violates the French quota system which states that representatives of the same gender cannot hold more than 60 per cent of leadership positions.

    Consequently, the Paris City Hall was fined 90,000 euros (109,477 dollars). This will serve as a warning to French women that they will not be allowed to ride roughshod over the Emmanuel Macrons and Dominique Strauss-Kahns of this world. It is also necessary to ensure that the gender peace treaty in France is not violated.

    The Hungarians and Africans seem light years away from the world of the American, Bruce William Jenner who at 64 in 2015 called his children Kylie, Kendall, Brody, Cassandra, Brandon and Burt to declare that their father was now a woman. Bruce, now calls himself Caitlyn Marie Jenner with all former documents and organs remaining valid.

    While the Obama administration had been supportive of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender, LGBT, community, the Trump administration has not. But don’t worry, help is on the way as President-Elect, Joseph Biden, credited with pushing the Obama administration to support gay marriage, is like a cowboy hero, galloping to the rescue.

    He has started on a good footing by appointing former Presidential Aspirant, Pete Buttigieg as Secretary of Transport. Buttigieg who may make history as the first openly gay to make it to a cabinet rank, had in 2019, made world headlines by openly hugging his husband, Chasten Buttigieg after winning the Iowa caucuses. If he had won the American Presidential elections, would he had been referred to as Mr. President, mindful of the fact that he is a wife?

    The American President-Elect has also appointed another gay, Carlos Elizondo as White House Social Secretary while Vice-President-Elect, Kamala Harris has named Karine Jean-Pierre, a Lesbian, as Chief of Staff.

    In Nigeria, the most famous ‘Jenner’ is Mr. Okuneye Idris Olarenwaju better known as Bobrisky who has amassed some wealth building his image as a woman. But he states quite clearly that ‘Bobrisky’ is a business brand he built to sell his cosmetics and beauty products and that he is no transgender, but merely a cross-dresser.

    In sports where marked discrimination exists especially in the prize money of female and male athletes, there are no plans to end the gender war. In fact, when the Williams sisters; Serena and Venus were playing good tennis, some in the international sports establishment concluded that they must be males and subjected them to various tests. At a point, the Head of the Russian Tennis Federation, Shamil Tarpishev said on television that the sisters are the “Williams brothers.”

    Caster Semenya, the reigning 800 metres Olympic champion has been subjected to international harassment since 2009 for running quite well and dominating the tracks. The International Association of Athletics Federations, IAAF, made rules specifically to knock her off the tracks. It ruled that female athletes whose bodies produce high testosterone which is a hormone that promotes increased muscle and bone mass, must take drugs to suppress such hormone. As far as the male-dominated body is concerned, no woman should run so fast. In challenging this stereotype, she declared: “I am Mokgadi Caster Semenya. I am a woman and I am fast.”

    There have been gender conflicts since evolutionary times when according to the good book, God carried out the first act of genetic engineering when he created the woman from the ribs of Adam who was clearly on anaesthetics. There might be a debate whether the Original Sin which resulted from Eve giving Adam the forbidden apple, might have been avoided had the latter been absent from the Garden of Eden. But what is clear is that there have been the mythical War of The Sexes in which both sexes flex muscles or try to out-play themselves rather than accept that all human beings are equal.

    One advantage of the LGBT ascendancy is that the gender lines might be blurred leading to calling a truce in The War of The Sexes. I am not sure United Nations peacekeepers will be needed to maintain a buffer zone. Also, titles like Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms will become obsolete or undergo transformation as it would be difficult to determine the sex of a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.

    I need to apply the brakes here before I get into trouble. There are three things you do not debate: religion, Zionism and homosexuality.

  • My family supports me despite being a nudist-Amara Maduka

    My family supports me despite being a nudist-Amara Maduka

    Actress and nudist, Amara Maduka believes rape will reduce if the society embraces adult content.Maduka noted that mankind will always long for the forbidden fruit.

    In her words:” In my opinion, adult content has nothing to do with rape. As a matter of fact, rape would reduce if the society embraces adult content instead of frown at it. It’s basic knowledge that mankind will always long for the ‘forbidden fruit’. Because it’s a big deal, people are going to always crave it. But if it is embraced and the men know that a woman’s body is just a body, then they would see every woman as human and not an object. And whatever happens to masturbation? Rather than rape, they should probably watch some adult content and masturbate. And all that aside, people really need to practice self-control. Our forefathers rarely wore clothes and we didn’t hear of them raping their women and children to death like the men of these days. They didn’t see women’s bodies as objects. They accepted that it’s normal to see women naked and it wasn’t that big a deal, so they had extremely little or no urge to want to bed a woman who isn’t theirs”, she told The Sun.

    On if her family supports her, despite being a nudist, she said: “My family understands that I’m an adult and I have a mind of my own. They have given me the necessary equipment to take on life and it’s all up to me how I choose to lead life now. They know where I’m coming from and they support my art full time”.

     

  • Nuclear family and extended family – Francis Ewherido

    Nuclear family and extended family – Francis Ewherido

    By Francis Ewherido

    A nuclear family comprises father, mother and the children, while an extended family comprises nuclear family (ies), grandparents, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces and others. The transition from being a member of a nuclear family to a member of an extended family is so swift that many people, especially in this part of the world, take time to come to terms with it.

    All it takes is for a member of a nuclear family to get married. Immediately, all other members of the hitherto nuclear family (parents and siblings) become extended family members because a new nuclear family has birthed.

    A powerful nuclear family was an aberration in the African society of old. Yes, nuclear families were there, but the lines were blurred. Nuclear families were part of a large extended family, where the real power resided.

    A mother-in-law could walk in one day and throw out a daughter-in-law, who had “erred” and replace her with another daughter-in-law. Her son accepted it as the decision of the family, especially if his mother had the backing of his father. Extended families determined who their wards married and the families their wards married from or into.

    Western civilisation and Christianity, with the accompanying emphasis on the rights of women and greater recognition of the nuclear family, have altered the equation. But some members of the extended family still do not seem to get it. Old habits certainly die hard. A drama played out recently; a bullet from an overzealous security detail of the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Femi Gbajabiamila killed a newspaper vendor in Abuja.

    The “family” sued Gbajabiamila for N500m. “This monetary demand can never adequately replace or take the place of their son, husband, brother, and breadwinner’s life,” the family said. But barely two days later, the widow of the newspaper vendor came out to dissociate herself from the lawsuit.

    said she was satisfied with the promises Gbajabiamila had made to the family (apparently the nuclear family) and would not want to be part of any lawsuit against him. If you look at the above statement from the family, “son” came before “husband,” so it is apparent the extended family made the demand. Her action is, therefore, not surprising. But in the African societies of old her action would have been sacrilegious. In fact, she would not have had the courage to go against the decision of her father-in-law and brothers-in-law. But this is 2020.

    I have not heard anything from the deceased’s extended family (father and siblings) since after the widow’s pronouncement. My layman’s mind tells me that the case is dead on arrival in court without the support of the widow, the calibre of the senior advocate that made the demand on behalf of the family notwithstanding. That is how strong the nuclear family has become. If it were in the African society of old, it is the father of the deceased, with the siblings, that would have negotiated with Gbajabiamila and agreed on terms and that would have been the end of the matter. What happens to the widow and her children thereafter would be at the pleasure of the extended family. They might not even get a kobo from the compensation from Gbajabiamila. Like properties of the deceased, the wife and the children would be shared among the extended family. The children might continue to enjoy privileges of children of a family or become domestic servants in the homes of uncles and aunts, depending on the disposition of the relatives they are shared to. That is one aspect of our culture that was not right.

    I feel for the extended family though. A child that a mother bore in her womb for nine months and gave suck gets to adulthood and gets married to another woman. The new woman (wife) takes charge. If the man’s mother goes on a visit, she has no rights in his house, especially the kitchen. She eats what is offered her. If the wife is benevolent, she will take time to make her mother-in-law comfortable, but if she sees her as a meddlesome interloper, she is in trouble. She will make the mother-in-law’s stay very uncomfortable. Sometimes, the son sees that things are not right, but he cannot put his finger on it. He is just helpless. Ultimately, the mother-in-law leaves miserable.

    The man’s siblings may not fare better. May be they were living with the big brother before marriage. They might even be the ones in charge of the kitchen. Now, it is not only that they have to relinquish their role as the manager of the kitchen, they now have to be served before they eat. Whereas, they used to cook whatever they liked, now they eat what they are offered. Whereas, before they could take four pieces of meat, now they eat whatever is offered. This is very tough for many people, but that is how it is. You have to get used to it. When my late brother got married, my mother ordered my younger brothers living with him to move out and come back to her house. It is a very simple solution to stave off complications later.

    If possible, I prefer young couples, to be left alone to live their lives. The way relatives load the houses of some newly-weds often irritates me. Young people should be allowed to enjoy their marriage. Some young couples, for lack of tact or out of frustration, mismanage their relationship with their spouses’ relatives, who live with them, and that is one of the sources of conflicts in some marriages. For instance, you come back from work to find out that your wife and your mother fought and your wife, being younger and more agile, gave your mother a thorough beating, what do you do? Your wife has an acidic tongue, she taunted your younger brother in your absence that he should move to his own house like his mates. When the taunting got too much, your brother lost his temper and slapped your wife, how do you deal with that? These things are happening and destroying homes. You need wisdom, firmness and a sense of justice to deal with them.

    I know some people are waiting for my response on the above scenarios. My question is, why will you marry an ill-mannered girl, who will take the laws into her hands and beat up your aged mother, instead of waiting to report the matter to you? Now that you know the temperament of the two women, why leave them under the same roof? Keep them away from each other. Second, if you know your wife and younger sibling are cat and dog, why put them under the same roof? Help him get an accommodation. Every man has a responsibility to protect his wife against external aggression. Do not put yourself in a position where you find it difficult to perform this duty. As conflict managers say, it is better to build a fence around the cliff than a hospital at the bottom of the cliff. In other words, it is better to avoid crisis than managing it.

    My sincere condolences to the deceased family, but when I saw the N500m demanded, my mind went back to the story of veteran journalist. He was sued for millions of naira in the eighties. He became agitated. He was wondering how on earth he was going to get the money until he was assured that the figure was what the plaintiff was asking for; a judge still had to hear the case and determine if he was actually of guilty before an award for damages. But awards by courts are not necessarily what the plaintiff asked for.

    In insurance, if the vendor had been killed by an insured vehicle in the speaker’s convoy, the insurance will be liable to pay third party death benefits. Usually life cannot be valued. While the benefit in theory is unlimited, the insurance company has limited resources. Therefore, two major factors that determine how much benefit the next of kin gets are the age of the deceased and his estimated annual income. In the absence of a document stating the next of kin, the payment will likely go to the wife and the children. However you look at it, the nuclear family is on the driver’s seat.

  • Teenager arrested for faking own kidnap with lover, demanded N30m ransom from family

    Teenager arrested for faking own kidnap with lover, demanded N30m ransom from family

    The Lagos State Police Command has arrested a teenager, Ujunwa Offiah, for allegedly conspiring with her boyfriend, Blessed Ifesinachi, to fake her kidnap and demand N30m ransom from her family.

    The police also arrested an accomplice, Precious Chukwu, 22, whose phone was reportedly used to negotiate with Offiah’s family.

    The state Commissioner of Police, Hakeem Odumosu, while parading the suspects at the command headquarters on Monday, said the principal suspect, Ifesinachi, was at large.

    Odumosu said, “This is a case of conspiracy and staged kidnapping, and the man at the centre of this case, who happens to be a Uber driver, is still at large. We are going after him because he conspired with one of these two ladies, Offiah, who faked her kidnap.

    “He cleverly used the phone of another girlfriend, Precious (Chukwu), to contact Offiah’s family, informing them that their daughter had been kidnapped.

    “He requested N30m from Offiah’s family to get her freed and during negotiations, which involved the police, they settled for N700,000. While the money was being dropped, we took action and in the process arrested Offiah and Precious.”

    Speaking with newsmen, Offiah said she joked about the kidnap with Ifesinachi, adding that she was surprised he took it seriously.

    She said, “I met Ifesinachi in October, and when we got talking, I jokingly told him to kidnap me so that he would collect ransom from my sister. I never knew that he took it seriously until he told me he had gone to the village to meet a native doctor and also discussed with his guys about the deal. When he said he was ready, he realised that I was scared and threatened to kill me if I informed anybody of the plan.

    “So, I refused to tell anybody because he is a cultist. On November 27, on my way back from school, I went to meet him and a girl, Patience, at 2nd Rainbow, and from there, we went to a hotel. At the hotel, he called my sister to demand N30m as ransom, but when I heard that my grandmother had collapsed in the village because of what happened to me, I told him to accept any amount they offered.

    “On Thursday, he went to get the money and came back to the hotel on Friday morning. He told me he collected N600,000 and released me thereafter. When I saw my family members, I told them that I was kidnapped by some guys. I lied to my family and the police, because he threatened to kill me, including my sister’s children. It was when I saw his girlfriend and my schoolbag that I confessed about the whole kidnap.”

    Chukwu denied knowing that her phone was being used to negotiate the ransom.

    She said, “He (Ifesinachi) asked for my phone that he wanted to use it for business. I never knew he wanted to use it to do this kind of a thing. I was at my workplace when the police came to arrest me.”

    The police also paraded three suspected cultists, Ismail Fatai, 23; Sherif Haruna, 22; and Dare Gabriel, 26, for allegedly terrorising residents in different parts of Lagos.

    The police claimed that Fatai terrorised people in the Lamgbasa area, adding that two people had “lost their lives through his actions and inactions.”

  • Faeces and your health – Francis Ewherido

    Faeces and your health – Francis Ewherido

    By Francis Ewherido

    November 19 was World Toilet Day. Of an estimated 673 million people worldwide, who still practice open defecation, about 47 million of them are in Nigeria! Tragically, this makes Nigeria the number one country with the highest number of people who practice open defecation. In terms of Percentage, however, countries like Chad, Benin and Ethiopia are way ahead of us in this aberration.

    We are number one because of our large population. But that is nothing to celebrate. To start with, we no be mates with those countries. Secondly, India, which relinquished the number one position for us (in 2014, about 530 million Indians practiced open defecation), has virtually eliminated open defecation and the feat was achieved in less than six years. I remember seeing faeces (stool) on the streets of Chennai and Mumbai just seven to eight years ago.

    But according to reports, India launched an ambitious plan called Swachh Bharat Abhiyan (Clean India Mission) in 2014 – that is a year after my last visit. The plan was expected to cost over ₹620 billion (US$9.0 billion) with the goal of ending open defecation within five years. The Indian Prime Minister, Narendra Modi, recently declared that India is free of open defecation. He claimed that 600 million Indians were given access to toilets while 110 million toilets were built. Impressive. Unbelievable. The rest of the world, including Nigeria, which are still plagued with open defecation, can only look at these staggering statistics in awe.

    But India did not achieve this feat by magic. They achieved Swachh Bharat Abhiyan with heavy funding and single-mindedness. This is also possible here. It is just that it is not a priority yet. Last year, President Muhammadu Buhari signed Executive Order 009 to make Nigeria open defecation free by 2025. What is the journey so far? I am not sure. I have written severally about open defecation. Last year, I wrote: “The late Vice Admiral Mike Akhigbe was the military governor of Lagos when I first arrived in 1987.

    Thirty two years later and after a succession of military and civilian governors, nothing has changed as far as open defecation is concerned in Lagos State. Take the stretch before you ascend Carter Bridge when coming from Ikoyi. The median between the roads was a giant toilet when I first arrived in Lagos. Today (last Tuesday), when I passed through there, the act was still very much on. I saw four young men openly defecating at about 1:10pm.” Nothing has changed along that stretch as at two weeks when I took that route. But if India can give 600 million people access to toilet, Nigeria can do same to 47 million people.

    Anyway, while thinking about the problem of open defecation in Nigeria, I remembered an incident two years ago. I went for our professional association annual get-together. Apart from the core professional presentations, one resource person was designated to give a health talk. You know one way to grab the attention of people, who are 50 years and above, is raising health-related issues. We were all listening to the health talk with rapt attention until the resource person said that your poo (stool) is not supposed to have a smell and if your poo smells, you have a health challenge. The departure from the venue after her assertion was akin to what happened in the bible, after Jesus challenged the traducers of an adulterous woman to cast the first stone, if they were without sin (John 8:3-9). The only difference was that our departure was not chronological. The hall was empty in just a couple of minutes.

    I could imagine what was going on in the minds of some delegates as they departed. There are some Nigerian delicacies that are so delicious, but with foul-smelling human waste (poo) How do you tell people who eat those delicacies that they have health challenges because of their smelly poo? In school, we had a student, who always ate soured food, especially beans. His farts were like earthquake. I would attribute the foul smell of his farts to soured food rather than a health condition. Over 30 years ago, I had a female colleague. Any time she went into the toilet, the smell that came out was terrible. Those of us in the open office suffered grievously. My MD never knew about our agony because he was always ensconced in his air conditioned office, far from the maddening smell. That was until a certain day when NEPA struck (power outage) and he had to leave his office door open.

    The lady went into the toilet. Within a few minutes, our ordeal started. Soon my MD came out from his office sniffing the air. “What is this?” He kept asking. We assured him that no one was evacuating human waste from a soakaway pit in the neighbourhood; that the source was our colleague. Thereafter, we got air fresheners, but her poo smell overpowered the fragrance of the air fresheners. I cannot recall who left the company first between the lady and I, but that was when my ordeal ended. Could her smelly poo be medically related? It is a strong possibility.
    Anyway, let us hear from the experts. “A bowel movement doesn’t smell good and it doesn’t have to. Poop consists of undigested food, mucus, bacteria, dead cells and fiber. This combination just doesn’t smell very good. Plus, you have trillions of microorganisms living in your gut that produce sulfuric compounds, and those pass along with the feces to give poop its yucky smell.”

    But experts also say that if you continue to have foul-smelling poo over a long period, you might need to see a doctor for a checkup. But if your poo smell is terrible over a brief period, it might not be an issue if normalcy in colour and odor are restored after a couple of days. The temporary foul smell could have been caused by a virus you caught or food poisoning that resolved itself after the body rid itself of the bad virus.
    Medical experts also blame malabsorption (imperfect absorption of food material by the small intestine) for foul-smelling poo. They say malabsorption can be caused by a number of things like celiac disease, where the lining of the small intestine is sensitive to gluten and gets inflamed. This means that it is unable to absorb nutrients. Bowel disease like ulcerative colitis, viruses, parasites or bacteria like salmonella or e.coli, antibiotics, overdose of supplements, especially vitamins A, D, E and K can also cause foul-smelling poo.

    Happily, there are non-medical remedies for normalizing the smell of poo. Experts advise that a diet high in vegetables, quality protein and healthy fats is essential for optimal gut health, which in turn translates to healthy poo that smells “normal.” Ideally, good poo should float, not sink in water. When it sinks, it means you are not eating right, according to Dr. Martina Agberien. But people, who practice open defecation might not be able to observe if their excrement sinks or floats.

    Dr. Agberien also emphasized the importance of passing stool because it is a way of getting rid of waste products of metabolism. “When one does not move the bowel regularly or one notices a change in bowel movement from the regular, it is good to seek medical attention as a lot can be detected in that simple act of change in bowel movement.” She also emphasized the need to take a good look at your stool after each bowel movement especially if it was difficult coming out.

    From my layman’s understanding, foul-smelling stool can be a sign of ill-health, but contrary to the assertion of the woman, who gave the talk, stool naturally has an unpleasant smell. One more thing, your stool can be used to determine your state of health and also detect ailments that can kill or create health problems if left untreated. That is why stool test is part of annual checkups and at other times when you fall ill.

  • Celebrating divorce – Francis Ewherido

    By Francis Ewherido

    Divorce, which is an official dissolution of a marriage, is one of the blights of the marital institution. Very few people go into marriage with the intention to get divorced at some point. That is why people take the vow of “till death do us part” at wedding. Divorce is a sensitive issue and out of respect for those who are divorced, especially those who are close to me, I have stayed away from that topic in the past seven years since this column debuted. This is especially so since I am aware of the circumstances that led to some of these divorces. I share in their pains. But when I came across a story of a couple, who went for a “celebratory lunch” after they were officially divorced, I decided to write about it, but still without prejudice to divorced family members and friends I deeply care for.

    What is this couple celebrating? What are they trying to prove? Who are they trying to impress. Are they trying to show that they are mature? If they were mature, they should have channeled their maturity to make their marriage work. Or are they trying to prove that they are not bitter? There are people who are divorced and have moved on without a show. I know a divorced couple, who are professionals in the same field and own a practice together. They are still business partners and run their business together. They did not go for a “celebratory lunch” to tell the world that there is no bitterness when they got divorced.

    Anyway, the other things that caught my attention in their story were the pieces of advice they offered married and dating couples. Apparently, their marriage was built of a defective foundation ab initio because their courtship was also defective. Their first advice was, “take the time to REALLY get to know yourself, your purpose, your vision, your priorities, and your core values before committing yourself to someone else for life. Get clear on your non-negotiables and on your deal breakers before saying “I Do”. Otherwise, your newfound vision can create division if it’s not in alignment.” This brings us to the definition of courtship and I am going to take excerpts from my book, Life Lessons From Mudipapa:

    “Dating can be described as a form of courtship and may include social activities undertaken by two persons (male and female) with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a life partner, while courtship is that traditional period before engagement and marriage when couples date to get to know each other and decide if they should go ahead with the relationship. Another definition by the Institute in Basic Life Principles…refers to courtship as: ‘a relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other.’”

    On core values, which they also mentioned, I wrote: “What are your core values and what are your partner’s? Core values are principles and qualities that guide your internal conduct and determine how you relate with the external world. Your core values define who you are; they go to the root of your existence. They are sacred to you and non-negotiable a lot of the time. They might be ethical, religious, intellectual, social, appearance-related, etc. It is important that you share common core values with your potential spouse. If you don’t, then it is not advisable for you to continue the courtship. But if you do only in some and not all aspects, you need to check how acceptable or unacceptable what is lacking is to both of you. Are they things you can live with or without? Sometimes it is not the level of compatibility that holds the marriage together; it is the ability of couples to manage their inevitable differences.” My question is, what were they doing before they decided to get married. I guess every other thing, except ask for the face of God, ask critical questions and do critical analysis.

    Their second advice is, “even if you believe you heard from God, there’s no need to rush to the altar. Take your time and enjoy the process of courtship, or you’ll find yourself getting to know each other after you’re already married.” First, let me quickly say that you cannot fully know your spouse during courtship. The “knowing” continues after marriage. In addition, I will refer you to two bible passages. The first is 1 John 4:1 – “Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” When it comes to testing the spirit as regards marriage, my favorite biblical passage is Genesis 24: the marriage of Isaac to Rebecca, God’s unseen hand, Abraham’s uncompromising stance and the extraordinary faith and faithfulness of Abraham’s servant.

    I will break their last piece of advice into pieces and deal with it one issue after another. “Don’t underestimate the amount of work that it takes to build a strong marriage…” True. Making a marriage work is a full time occupation. As I said some time ago, like your body, it needs daily nourishment, if not it will deteriorate. Like a bank account, you have to make deposits regularly because you make withdrawals knowingly and unknowingly. Unless you consciously make deposits, your account (marriage) can easily go into deficit.

    They also said, “…Go to marriage seminars together before getting married, learn what it really takes, and make sure you’re both willing to put in the work together.” Thankfully, religious and government organisations have realized the importance of pre-marriage seminars and have designed topics for people preparing for marriage. Marriage is a higher institution like universities and polytechnics and every potential entrant should prepare for it. If you fail to prepare for marriage, you are already preparing for failure. Finally, they said “…If you don’t grow together you’re gonna grow apart” (Go to https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/08/marital-intellectual-disequilibrium/ and read more on this).

    In school, we were taught that oddity is news. That is why this couple’s story was in the news because it is odd for a newly-divorced couple to go out together for a “celebratory lunch.” But what are they celebrating? A failed marriage? Do people celebrate failure? I have seen one party in a divorce case “celebrate” after divorce for varying reasons. If you personally know the story of some of these people, you will empathise with them, your firm belief in the indissolubility of marriage notwithstanding. For some, it has become a case of stay in the marriage and die or get out and be alive.

     

    Get me right, there is nothing wrong with divorced parties meeting or having lunch together occasionally. They do meet to discuss the welfare of the children, go for lunch or dinner occasionally with the children and also get together with the children at Easter, Christmas and Thanksgiving (America, Canada, etc). But a lunch by divorced parties to “celebrate” their divorce is meaningless and pointless; it is an aberration. I know that sometimes, people enjoy being in the limelight, but it is also important that we point it out that this former couple was in the news for the wrong reasons, so that those coming behind will not be misled.