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Tag: Francis Ewherido

  • Schoolboy errors by spouses-to-be – By Francis Ewherido

    Schoolboy errors by spouses-to-be – By Francis Ewherido

    Recently, I heard some very touching stories about new marriages, some less than six months, running into troubled waters or crashing. Apparently, these young couples have made or are making some elementary mistakes. When this column started about 10 years ago, we touched on some of these errors, but we have a new audience of newlyweds or about-to-wed. Today, I want to revisit some of these school boy errors.

    Do you know the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with? Let us not kid ourselves, you cannot totally know anyone, not even yourself. Circumstances bring forth aspects of people, including yourself, that you never knew existed. “But as the saying goes, “the journey of a 1000 miles begins with a step.” So know enough about the person you want to marry before you dive with him/her into that shark-infested water called marriage. If you do, you will acquire the skills of avoiding many of these sharks (not all o!) roaming in the marital water. Trust me, I have been in this water for 26 years and I am into my 27th year. I love the water, but you can’t let down your guards.

    Next, this is not for everyone, but for those of us who believe in God. It is important you involve God in this treacherous journey called matrimony. First seek the guidance of God before embarking on the journey of getting a spouse. The next phase is courtship or dating, two of the most misunderstood words in relationship. There are many definitions, but I still prefer the ones I quoted in my book, Life Lessons from Mudipapa: The Institute in Basic Life Principles, refers to courtship as: “a relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other.” If it this will of God, the gates of hell cannot prevail against your marriage.

    For those who do not believe in God, let us just say courtship is that traditional period before engagement and marriage when intending couples date to get to know each other and decide if they should go ahead with the relationship. Courtship may include social activities undertaken by two persons (male and female) with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a life partner. The big question is what are the activities you engage in? Do they help you to know the other person better as truly as he/she is or the activities blur your vision Unfortunately, some of these activities that blur your vision are ephemeral and not long lasting factors like core values, character, friendship, etc. Then after marriage, you begin to sing, “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone…” Johnny Nash released this song in 1972 to express a sense of clarity and optimism after a difficult period. Your own case shouldn’t be the reverse. Know your priorities. A stick you ought to see shouldn’t pierce your eye.

    I asked one of my young friends, whether he met his wife’s family before marriage. “Not really, until the day of the introduction.” That is a fatal flaw. You should know as much as possible about the family you are marrying into or from. It is nothing new. Our forebears did it. They investigated families before allowing their sons/daughters to proceed with the marriage. In this century, you want to jettison this very effective tradition? Interacting with his/her family should help you in deciding whether to continue with the courtship or end the relationship. Your family backgrounds are different. You will see things you love and others that you hate, you will see normal and weird stuff; you will get to know the environment where your potential spouse was formed. If he /she gets along his/her parents, but you resent the parents’ characters, that is a dangerous signal. But if he/she disagrees with certain behavioral patterns of the parents which also rankle you, that is an encouraging sign. Interact with the family you are marrying into or from.

    The next matter is sex in marriage. God created sex to enable couples procreate and enjoy. It is an inexplicable bond. You cannot divorce sex from marriage. In fact, a marriage is not valid until it is consummated, that it, the husband inserts his penis into the wife’s vagina in what we call sex. Sex is that important in marriage. But I get worried by the obsession of young people with sex. On Facebook posts, all I see among young people is gbenching (having sex). Marriage is much more than gbenching. Those of you who have been married for five to 10 years, how far with gbenching? It is still very normal, abi? No problem, the blood is still very hot. Continue, but I hope school fees, upkeep money, quarrels and other factors that go with marriage are not affecting your appetite for gbenching?

    Please continue with your gbenching, but just in case no one told you, by the time you get to your mid-50s and above, distractions of life, age and health challenges like high blood pressure, heart condition, diabetes, etc., will begin to interfere with your gbenching ability. Even seemingly innocuous arthritis is not left out! What has arthritis got to do with gbenching? There is this married woman who enjoys gbenching within her marriage o! Now, she is dealing with serious arthritis. She can’t do all those many styles she used to enjoy. Even missionary position has become an arduous task. When I attacked people who claim to have a cure for arthritis two weeks ago, you now partly understand where I was coming from. Her robust sex life has been ruined by arthritis. But thank God for her supportive and understanding husband.

    There is still so much to talk about as far as schoolboy errors are concerned, but let me mention this because it is one of the problems currently ruining a marriage of less than six months. I am a firm believer that once people are married, they should be given their space to build their marriage. There should be no intrusion as long as there is no threat to life. Family involvement should only take place during courtship. Marriage gives birth to a new family. Parents, family members and friends should allow their newly wedded be. Away with your interference. Even intervention should be restricted to critical situations where one or both lives are at stake.

    Finally, I advise women, if you cannot respect a man in good and bad times, when he is up or down, do not marry him. Of the things that bring out the beast in men, kills men physically and emotionally, none compares to disrespect from a wife. Men have killed their wives due to disrespect, men have also died due to disrespect. If you can’t respect a man leave him alone. Apostle Paul also admonishes men to love their wives. Personally, I feel love and respect should be mutual in marriage. You can’t love a spouse you do not respect. Young people, please look well before you dive into marriage. If not, you will dive a rock.

  • Selfish and wicked children – By Francis Ewherido

    Selfish and wicked children – By Francis Ewherido

    Last Sunday was Father’s Day, but I was distracted. I felt like calling two people I had discussions with last week to find out if their sons also sent Happy Father’s Day wishes to them. The wishes would have been hollow rituals.

    They told me during the interactions which took place at different times that they were thinking of taking second wives. I was jolted because both of them have been married for over 35 years.

    Their children are adults, so where did this thought of a second wife come from? It was never on the card, but the foundation may have been unwittingly laid over time.

    Let me state here that our “victims” today are just case studies. There is this dangerous malaise afflicting marriages. It is taking your spouse for granted. Every married person is susceptible unless he/she makes conscious efforts to avoid this trap.

    What happened? In the first case, the wife travelled abroad, no return date. She lives with the son who is single. If he was married, I would have thought that she was taking care of her grandchildren. Nannies are very expensive abroad.

    In the second case, the wife joined the children to keep an eye on them when they were in school. They are done with schooling, but the wife stayed back.

    These are men in their late 60 and early 70, respectively.

    More than any other time, I feel this is the time when they need their wives most. I feel that for the two fathers who gave these children the good life they are currently living abroad, they should be sensible and empathic enough to know that their fathers need their wives around them and encourage their mothers to come back to Nigeria.

    But if the children decide to remain insensitive, the wives should know that as couples grow older, the primary purpose of marriage which is companionship becomes paramount.

    In the beginning of marriage, sex blurs companionship because both bloods are very hot. Thereafter, the children start coming. The bloods are still hot but as the marriage progresses, children become a pleasant and necessary distraction. This continues for a while.

    By the time some couples are in their mid-60s they are done with training their children. At that time, menopause has also set in for some women and the libido of some men has nosedived. Both lead to decrease in appetite for sex.

    In fact, some men lose the ability to get a firm erection naturally. They rely on assisted erection mechanisms (if you know, you know). For marriages that relied too much on sex for survival, this is a dicey stage.

    Women naturally protect their territory. If you know your husband is still firing on all cylinders, you will think twice before leaving him alone for a long time because as the bible said, “his habitation, let another take.” In other words, nature hates vacuum.

    But this does not seem to be the case as the couple grow older. I did not probe into why their wives had been away for this long, but it is certainly not due to domestic violence or money because these guys are financial heavyweights.

    I am pissed off with their sons. They are wicked and selfish. What exactly is their problem? You want to continue enjoying mummy’s delicious meals instead of going to get married? Spoilt mama’s boys!

    The experience of our “victims” today is not isolated. Some women travel abroad to do omugwo (help out their daughters/daughters-in-law who just had babies) and stay back for months, sometimes years. Sometimes, these women abandon their husbands and never come back to Nigeria.

    Your father toiled for you. Now, in his old age you deny him the companionship of his wife by keeping her abroad because you want to save money in paying nannies.

    If these mothers were widows, no problem, but they left behind old, vulnerable husbands! The bible says that whatever you sow you shall reap. I dare these children to say amen.

    My mum told me a story. A boy went to the farm with his father. The father sent him to the nearby stream to fetch him water to drink. He peed into the water because he felt the father was too troublesome, always sending him on errands.

    After the father died, as the eldest son, he inherited the farm. One day, he sent his son to fetch water from the same stream. The son also peed into the water. When the father was drinking the water, he tasted the urine.

    Instead of scolding or beating his son, he remembered what he did to his father and tears rolled down his cheeks.

    What saddens me most is that these two men are being forced into polygamous thoughts due to abandonment. I do not have issues with polygamy. It is a matter of choice. I am gutted because these instances are prompted by abandonment.

    I tried to put myself in their position and goose pimples took over my body. I enjoyed every stage raising my children, but I don’t want to pass through that route again.

    These two guys are rich, so the new wives would likely want to have their own children.

    I certainly do not want to go through raising infants in my late 60s and early 70s. I have no plans of having retirement babies.

    God sparing my life, my plans are totally different. What is left of parenting for me are advice, mentorship and other stuff parents do with their grownup children.

    For Christians, the bible says a man leaves his parents and cleaves to his wife. The word “cleave” has a connotative meaning which is inseparable. A spouse should not feel complete without the other half. It is dangerous to function optimally without your other half. You should feel incomplete over time without your spouse.

    The lives of a couple should be intertwined. That way no quarrel can linger because in no time, they will have a reason to communicate or relate. If these women felt incomplete, they won’t abandon their husbands and stay back with their selfish and wicked children abroad.

    There is a downside if lives of couples are intertwined. The sudden death of one spouse destabilizes the life of the one alive, but it’s a gamble I am willing to take. I am a believer that the older spouse should go first and I am older.

    I might sound selfish, but widows cope better than widowers. We all will go someday, anyway. Our prayer is that we live into a ripe old age together.

    One couple lived as familiar strangers for so many years for reasons best known to them. They lived in the same house but different bedrooms, no sex, the wife neither cooked for the husband nor did he eat her food.

    I was shocked when the man called me on his dying bed and the wife was beside him. Na life be that?

    I have heard some people give excuses that their fathers were very mean to their mothers. For them, keeping their mothers abroad is like a rescue mission or payback.

    Who made you a judge in your parents’ marriage? When your father was slaving to see you through school, he was not mean. Now that you have become somebody, he is mean. Isorite!

    And you men, I always advise you, paying school fees, providing shelter and a good life are not enough. BE IN YOUR CHILDREN’S LIVES. HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.

    Scarcely does a son/daughter maltreat his/her father who was a good parent, mentor, teacher, friend, etc.

  • Beware of scammers who sell drugs on social media – By Francis Ewherido

    Beware of scammers who sell drugs on social media – By Francis Ewherido

    I had a lengthy talk with a friend recently. We go way back to the early 70s. He was my senior in primary school. We lost touch but got reunited in the 90s. One day, we went to a restaurant to eat. I ordered rice and chicken. I peeled the skin off the chicken before eating the chicken. He queried me and I explained to him that my boss in the early 90s suffered a stroke.

    Among the foods doctors told him to stay away from subsequently was chicken skin because of the high cholesterol. “But na the chicken skin sweet pass for the chicken nah. If I remove am, wetin remain again,” he asked rhetorically. He took the chicken skin that I removed and added to his and ate.

    Thereafter, we didn’t see for a while. I didn’t know he suffered a mild stroke. I am not saying the chicken skin was responsible. Other factors and lifestyle might be responsible. When we spoke recently, he told me he had suffered three more strokes since then. I was worried and probed into what he was taking to control his blood pressure and the drugs he was taking to avoid another stroke, apart from drastic lifestyle changes that he needed to make.

    What he told me jolted me and forms the basis of this article. He said he saw some drugs being sold online and patronized them, but they did not seem to be effective. I have no trust in most remedies and drugs they sell online and I told him. I have carried out my research. Most of them are scams. I have thrown a challenge before and I am throwing it again.

    If your drugs or remedies you promote online are effective, come let’s team up with the media channels I use to see how we can use them to promote the wellbeing of humanity. I have zero financial interest; only service to humanity. I sustained a knee injury about 51 years ago while playing football. A player from the opposite team deliberately stepped on one of my knees. I collapsed in pain. I was scared and never told my parents when I got home. Since then, I have continued to live with the pain. At a time, I met an orthopedist who said I now have arthritis on the knee from the result of the scans.

    I have read a little bit about arthritis. There is no cure. It can only be managed. Then I saw an advert on social media about a therapy that cures arthritis. I took time and read the testimonies. Many of them were people in their 20s. “Arthritis nor dey common among young people nah,” I said to myself, but the cost was reasonable, so against my better judgement, I placed order and made payment. It was promptly delivered. I could just have flushed the money down the toilet! I got zero relief!

    My next experience had nothing to do with the social media. It was a physical interaction. Someone close to me recommended a therapy to me. Without checking its efficacy over time, I preached the gospel to the ends of the world, including Oyibo people. After spending over two million naira, buying the therapy, it did not work for anybody (those I recommended it to and myself).

    I continued with other products recommended by words of mouth. I subsequently did tests. When my doctor saw the results, she was alarmed. “Frank, I am no longer comfortable with these your alternative therapies.” To cut a long story short, I sorted out the problem in a hospital. It was expensive, but problem solved. Let me quickly add that I still believe firmly in African medicine and therapies, but my experience is a full topic for another day.

    Most of the people who sell drugs and medical solutions online play on people’s desperation and gullibility. The solutions they offer are mainly for medical issues people desperately want to cure/solve: infertility, erectile dysfunction, low libido and low sperm count; arthritis, high blood pressure, diabetes, prostate enlargement, amongst others and outlandish claims like cure for cancer and HIV AIDS.

    Let me start with the last two. There is no cure for cancer other than the medical procedure we know. It is important that cancer is detected early. The patient undergoes surgery to remove the cancerous parts. Then the patient undergoes radiotherapy, chemotherapy and other medical treatments. The doctors know better. I am just a writer.

    Any other person who claims to have a cure other than this should come forward. There are cancer centres all over Nigeria. You will get more than enough patients to cure their cancer. If you cannot step forward, you are a fraudster. Also, please spare me the talk about miracle healing. The healers know the hospitals and centres where their miracles are needed. They should go there.

    The same applies to HIV AIDS. It is no longer the killer it used to be. There are countless people living very normal life with the HIV. Some have even married and have children who are HIV-free. It is through the same orthodox medicine we all know. All others who claim to have alternative cure should also come forward and prove it. If you are not willing to come out to spread that your joy, you are also a fraudster.

    Doctors say there is no permanent cure for arthritis, rheumatism, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc., but they can be managed with treatment and lifestyle changes. Those who claim to have permanent cures should also come forward.

    Orthodox medicine can be used to take care of prostate enlargement. Some people have also vouched for the efficacy of traditional therapies. I am sure there are, but I don’t know any that I can vouch for. But consistent consumption of tomatoes remains very effective in preventing prostate enlargement (Natural prostate remedies – Francis Ewherido | TheNewsGuru). It is preventive not a treatment/cure. Once the prostate is enlarged to a certain point, you go for treatment, not only consumption of tomatoes anymore.

    Another common product advertised on social media are those for penis enlargement. I have written about three articles on the penis previously. No more comments, but for me, worrying about the size of your penis is what the Urhobos call okamuka (much ado about nothing). The Asians have one of the smallest penises in the world, yet it is the most populated continent. As for the relationship between the size of penis and the pleasure it gives to women, why don’t you ask your wife or the women who make you worry about your penis size? At best, it is different strokes for different folks and how the workman uses his tools.

    My final advice: Have a personal/family physician you can consult. If you do not have the resources for private medical facilities, patronize government hospitals. Government (federal and states) has invested reasonable money in the medical sector. They have the equipment and the personnel though the work ethic of the medical personnel is still very poor. There are effective alternative medical solutions, but do your due diligence. There are too many fraudsters. Beware!

  • Wizkid’s “real” father? Real nonsense talk – By Francis Ewherido

    Wizkid’s “real” father? Real nonsense talk – By Francis Ewherido

    Nigeria is a wonderful country. Some people call it a cruise; others call it a thriller movie. But as for me, “I love my country, I no go lie. Na inside am, I go live and die…,” a song composed and directed by the legendary Prof. Wole Soyinka. Kudos to all the greats who participated in this project. The lyrics of this song look so recent and tell a story of what should have been and what should not. It is largely ironic and metaphoric.

    But I borrowed the portion I quoted to show that I am a diehard Nigerian. Some people, including some Nigerian and other African YouTubers, are probably tired of me, but that’s who I am. I love my country and make no pretense about it. I defend Nigeria with vigour. It is my constitutionally guaranteed freedom. At the end of the day, where is that country whose anus is without sh*t? If you are fixated only on the harsh economy and so many wrong stuff in Nigeria, you will miss out on the fun and positives.

    Nigeria is a formal and informal comedy and entertainment hub. I spend time soaking myself in Nigerian comedy and entertainment. Even churches and other sacred places are not immune from the comedy and entertainment. Last Sunday, I assume, the entertainment shifted to a small church in Benin City, Edo State. A hitherto anonymous man told a small congregation in the church that he is the biological father of Nigeria’s Grammy award-winning musician, Wizkid, real name Ayodeji Balogun. The video has since gone viral.

    I don’t like validating mumu comments (senseless talks). I am only using it as a case study of people who come out of nowhere to lay claim to accomplished adults that they are their children. Meanwhile, they were never in the lives of these “their children.” They deliberately never acknowledged them from infancy, played a role in their upbringing, education, formation, etc. Their only claim is that I am the “biological father” or “biological mother.” Are you kidding me? A few days ago, I was celebrating our (my wife and I) impending end to daily school runs. For the past 24 years, we have been doing daily school runs, broken only during weekends and holidays. We even did school runs on some Saturdays!

    Biological fatherhood is a gift God freely gives to mankind. You don’t flaunt God’s gift as if it is by your power. He gives it even when it is unmerited. That is why some agbayas (lousy men) are biological fathers today. But real fatherhood is not a gift. It is earned. It is a lot of hard work, dedication and sacrifice. It is a deliberate and intentional (the tautology is for emphasis) act. You work very hard to become a real father.

    In one of my previous articles on the duties of a father to his children, I wrote: “Fatherhood goes beyond the ability to get a woman (wife) pregnant. Fatherhood goes with continuous and enormous responsibilities.” According to the impostor, who claims to be Wizkid’s “real father,” he allegedly impregnated Wizkid’s mum and ran away because he was not ready for fatherhood.

    In the part of the Western Region (now Edo State (also Delta State) where he was born, teenage pregnancy outside marriage was and is still common. Since the “culprits” are sometimes too young to parent, their parents take that responsibility. Saying that he impregnated a girl and abandoned her is a gross act of irresponsibility he should be ashamed to talk about publicly. Not much was mentioned about the life and times of this impostor, but what about the children he gave birth to subsequently? How come there is none to take care of him and all of a sudden, he remembered a “son” he abandoned while still in the womb?

    In some cultures in Nigeria, you can’t claim to be the father of a child if you didn’t pay the mother’s bride price. In such cultures his case is hopeless because the woman is dead and gone. Getting a woman pregnant is not enough to claim that you are the father. The sperm of sperm donors (it is against my belief) can be used to give birth to children he doesn’t even know. So, there is hardly a possibility of proving he is the “biological father” of a son he never knew.

    The impostor claims he is ready for a DNA test to prove his case. Who will dignity him with the sample to do that test? Does he have the resources to fund the DNA tests, or whose money is he relying on? He said his “son” is a billionaire, but has decided to abandon him to suffer in Benin. Which son? The one you witnessed his first cry, smile and first baby steps?

    The one you taught life’s lessons and mentored? The one you took to school and helped with school assignments? The one you bonded, built trust and friendship with? The one you provided for and protected? The one you showed so much love to his mother? The one whose children you have carried? What exactly is your definition of a father, impostor?

    Since he made his “bombastic revelation” and at the time of writing, the family of Alhaji Muniru Olatunji Balogun, Wizkid’s dad and Wizkid have maintained a dignified silence. That to me is class. That is the best response to this impostor who wants to reap where he did not sow. I am not even happy talking about his matter in my column. That is why I deliberately refused to mention his name. I am pissed off. I have experienced some of such annoying cases in the past.

    A man who rejected a pregnancy he was responsible for came back many years later to “claim my son because I am the biological father.” The truth was that his marriage was blessed with only daughters and he is one of those obsessed male chauvinists who believe life is incomplete without a male child. In another case, his marriage was childless. He didn’t have another child after he rejected the one born outside marriage. In all the cases, I was pissed as I am pissed off now. My previous experiences, more than this man, motivated me to write this article. This imposter doesn’t deserve my precious time.

    He is trying to use his mumu claim to put another family in the limelight for the wrong reasons. Some people say, there’s a resemblance between him and Wizkid. Nonsense. While I was in India, I met at least four dark-skinned Indians who were look-alike of Nigerians I knew. But for their hair, I would have said they are the Nigerians.

    Why didn’t he show up when Wizkid’s mum was alive? After all, some people sarcastically say that only the mother can say the true father of her son. Whatever the truth is, I don’t care. This man should sit down in Benin. Wizkid’s father is Alhaji Muniru Olatunji Balogun. I am not interested in this “I am the biological father” is crap. Why am I even bothering myself? He went to the church to entertain them.

  • The Benin-Effurun road is a crime against humanity – By Francis Ewherido

    The Benin-Effurun road is a crime against humanity – By Francis Ewherido

    In June 1990, the then military government awarded the contract for the dualisation of the Benin to Effurun road to Daewoo E and C Nigeria Limited. The 149.1 kilometer road was completed in December 1992. It was one of the best roads in Nigeria then. The road was so good that a journey from Effurun/Warri to Benin took between an hour and 75 minutes. This honeymoon continued for a long while, then the road started deteriorating gradually. That affliction called “poor maintenance culture” visited it. Now travelling through that road has become a nightmare.

    One very prominent man who has not travelled by road from Lagos to Delta for decades (he always flew straight to Effurun airstrip and later Osubi Airport) was forced to use the road recently. He had an important engagement in Delta State, but he could not get a direct flight to Osubi. He travelled by air from Lagos to Benin. He spent four hours on the road from Benin to Ughelli South LGA. When he called me to narrate his ordeal, he said he was in severe pains all over his body. I couldn’t help but laugh aloud while sympathizing with him. Later I travelled to Delta. I love travelling from Lagos to Delta State by road due to some reasons. A few months ago when I went to Delta State, the bad spots on the road were tolerable. My recent trip was nightmarish.

    In the 90s, I drove from Lagos to Effurun in four hours, 10 minutes.  I was a speed master. Shortly after, I had my first daughter, I realized that I was now a father and needed to slow down. My journey time increased to between five hours and five hours, thirty minutes. But this last trip took 10 hours from Lagos to Delta. Edo State alone accounted for five hours. Four of the five hours were spent immediately we descended from the by-pass down to Ologbo. It just didn’t not make sense. During former Governor Godwin Obaseki’s time, he placed signs on the filthy median in the dual carriageway reminding road users that the road belongs to the federal government. I thought with Sen. Monday Okpebholo, an All Progressive Congress man becoming a governor, remedial measures will be made, but none so far.

    The road, I learnt, is among those being reconstructed by the federal government. I thought the contractor would have started with the bad portions. The governor needs to the engage the contractor to trash that out or the Edo State Government should make the bad portions of the road motorable. It is very embarrassing that such a major road will become so bad inside the state capital. It does not matter who owns the road. I remember during Oshiomole’s time as Edo State Governor, he took the bull by the horns and reconstructed the bad stretch of the Benin-Lagos Expressway in Edo State. He was an AC later APC governor while former President Goodluck Jonathan was PDP. It’s about the people, not the party you belong to.

    The portion of the road Oshiomole constructed used to be one of the best portions of the Lagos-Benin Expressway, but right now, it is deteriorating. It is crying for rehabilitation. But it is not comparable to the Benin Bypass in terms of deterioration. It was a horrible experience when I passed through there a few months ago. The last time, I was told it’s very bad. We drove into Benin and passed through New Benin Road to Ramat Park as if we were going to Agbor before joining the bypass going to Effurun thereby cutting off the bad portions of the bypass.

    The story of the bypass is ironic. When the plan was unveiled, some Binis were against it. They felt diverting traffic from inside Benin City will have negative economic impact on the city. Ethnic meanings were read into it since the then Minister of Works, the late Chief Tony Anenih, was from Uromi of Esan stock. But rather than be a curse, the bypass is actually a blessing, leading to an explosion of development in that part of Benin. The only minus is the current poor state of the bypass.

    Travelling from Lagos to Delta State by road is a paradox. In the 90s, you had to leave Lagos early so that you did not get trapped in Lagos traffic. Some portions of the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway were also bad, so leaving early meant less traffic and avoiding being stuck before you turned off to Sagamu in Ogun State. Once we entered Sagamu, it was a smooth ride. The Ogun portion had the smoothest portion from Ogun State to Edo State. Today, the reverse is the case. The Ogun State portion is “shaky-shaky.” It is very rough and bumpy. I advise pregnant women and people who are ill to be careful when plying that portion of the road. It can unsettle pregnant women and aggravate the illness of sick people.

    In the 90s once you left the smooth Ogun State portion and got into Ondo State, the state of the road told you. You didn’t need the sign at the boundary to know that you are now in Ondo State. I used to ask what crime Ondo State committed to warrant the neglect of their portion of the road. Then everything changed. The federal government fixed the Ondo portion of the road. It is currently the best portion from Ogun State to Edo State, but the signs of wear and tear are beginning to show.

    One of the things that irritated me on the Ondo portion are the endless number of police checkpoints and the damage the blockage is doing on those portions. It is not only Ondo. The worst portions of the road in the entire stretch are places where you have police, military and customs checkpoints. They use woods and other objects to narrow the road, slow down traffic and cause damage to roads that were constructed with loans and taxpayers’ money. It is such an irony. Can’t they do their work without destroying critical infrastructure. We operate like we are in stone age. CCTV cameras and other modern gadgets can make these checkpoints unnecessary, but it won’t happen because of entrenched interests. I hope that the concessionaires of the roads being concessioned will introduce modern technology and make these roads user-friendly. Abroad, law enforcement agents do not block the road. They park their vehicles in strategic places. They are not in-your-face, but you dare not mess up. We need to make progress in this area.

    Talking about concessionaires, left with me all the highways should be concessioned. I would rather pay toll and drive on smooth roads than go through the nightmare some of our highways have become. The Minister of Works, Sen. David Umahi, is one of my favourite ministers. He knows his onions. It is just that like many Nigerians, I am impatient. I want good roads. I know he met the roads in a bad state, but he needs to perform his magic. David needs to kill Goliath. Driving on some of these roads are a crime to humanity.

  • JAMB outcome, suicide and life’s unending challenges – By Francis Ewherido

    JAMB outcome, suicide and life’s unending challenges – By Francis Ewherido

    My article last week generated some questions. But until the Registrar of the Joint Admission and
    Matriculation Board (JAMB), Prof. Ishaq Oloyede, is proven guilty of ethnic or religious bigotry, I stand by
    what I wrote. I also support an inquiry into the circumstances that led to the glitch. Anyone found
    culpable should be punished.

    Just in case you are also of the opinion that I don’t understand the enormity of the glitch because I was
    not affected, let me tell you that I am directly affected. My youngest daughter took the exam. She scored
    less than expected.  I know she prepared very well. We (the mum and I) paid for lessons and extra
    classes. Her older siblings also joined in coaching her. We knew she could score over 300. But the first
    danger signal came when JAMB released the summary of the results. We knew her expectations could
    be dashed and lead to a heartbreak, so we started monitoring the release of the full result. When my
    wife went to school to being her home after close of school the day the full results were released, she
    had already seen her result and her disappointment showed in her countenance. There and then, my
    wife started consoling and counselling her.

    By the time she got home I started my own counsel. I told her that this year’s JAMB result is like an
    epidemic, not an illness that afflicted only one person. You don’t carry all the weight of an epidemic on
    your head. Secondly, the Urhobos say, “ihwo ra mrere yavwo g’iye (only the people present can
    participate in offering sacrifice). Absentees cannot participate in offering sacrifice. JAMB can only offer
    admission to those who wrote the exams. JAMB cannot bring people from the moon and give them
    admissions. If the scores are very low, the universities will lower the cut off marks.

    In addition, every university has catchment areas. Some students with low grades will get admission in
    their chosen universities if their states of origin are within the catchment areas. I am sure the universities
    and JAMB will find a way to sort out the poor grades in this year’s JAMB exam. The focus should be on
    solutions.

    My focus today is actually on the traumatized candidates and their families. I sympathise with all those
    who were traumatized. I was also traumatized and depressed and depressed in the 80s by a university,
    not JAMB. I relocated from Effurun, where the rest of my family was living, to live with my father who
    was a school principal in another town as a result of depression (at this time we were grown up, the size
    of the family was also bigger than before, and the entire family could not move with my father to any
    new place he was transferred to). JAMB also disappointed one of my children but we stood firmly by her.

    I sympathise with the Opesusi family on the death of their daughter, 19-year-old Miss Timilehin Faith
    Opesusi. The father, Opesusi Oluwafemi, said she committed suicide by ingesting rat poison. She applied
    to study microbiology and scored 146. With all due respect, microbiology has never had a high cut off
    mark since 1982 when I started following JAMB cut off marks. Honestly, she should have been patient.
    With the general poor performance, she might have got admission with the 146 she scored. My
    condolences once more.  The death of a teenage daughter is not something any family wants to
    experience.

    Consequently, I want to suggest some ways to avoid this kind of tragedy. Family life is getting more
    plastic and individualistic. Children live with their parents but are getting more distant. Some deliberately
    shut their parents out of their lives. Some new developments are complicating matters. Do you see

    houses for rent and sale? They proudly tell you that “all rooms are ensuite.” The implication is less
    interaction with the rest of the family. A child whose room has a toilet and bathroom can spend days
    without interacting with the rest of the family. It is worse if he has a fridge in his room. Android and
    iPhones have everything: television, radio, music, video games, even prayers, Sunday Mass/service, etc.
    Family time together is being eroded. Parenting is becoming a war with many battles. Parents win some
    battles and lose some. Losing some is important to ensure balancing and avoid rebellion. Remember
    Apostle Paul’s admonition. “Do not drive your children to resentment” (Ephesians 6:4). But ultimately
    you have no option but to win the war. Winning means bringing up children who will be responsible
    adults, assets to the society and pride to the family. It’s a tough war because the GEN Zs operate on a
    different wavelength. Their codes are different, but win you must.

    Guiding them on a journey of self-discovery helps because once they know who they are and find their
    purpose/passion, you are a lucky parent. They focus on it, and scarcely get distracted by the vices that
    have derailed many Gen Zs. I don’t want to moralise, but the God factor is very important. Whatever
    faith you profess, let your children have a relationship with God. Some of us, the parents, derailed in our
    younger days, but found our way back. I do not know any religion that encourages suicide. It must be
    ingrained in your children’s consciousness. Your children must understand that life is precious. A
    personal relationship with your children is also very important.

    Teach your children that life is full of challenges. The challenges persist until you die. Age, money and
    position cannot shield you from challenges. Aliko Dangote is still encountering challenges with the
    Dangote Refinery and other businesses. That is the richest black man on earth. And you expect life to be
    hot knife going through butter for you?

    JAMB exam is just one hurdle students need to cross.  In the university, they will meet lecturers who just
    hate their guts for reasons they will not understand; non-teaching staff who play god in their lives; some
    lecturers will want to sexually harass them even though it is forbidden; lecturers who make passes at
    them. When they graduate, getting a job is another hurdle they must cross. In the process, they will
    encounter all kinds of obstacles. After getting the jobs, they are given impossible targets and work with
    superiors who do not seem to be impressed with whatever they do, superiors who want to take
    advantage of them. It just goes on and on. Is it running a business in Nigeria? It is like skating; tough to
    master and needs 100 per cent concentration and commitment at all times. Teach your children that
    “wahala nor dey finish for life.” They should take on every challenge and learn to deal it.

    For Christians, God never promised you a trouble-free life. The Psalmists even wrote that “many are the
    afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord God delivers him from them all (Psalm 34:19).” Suicide is not an
    option. Your children must imbibe that. But sometimes, life can be so cruel, we all need a shoulder to
    lean or cry on. Every family member must collectively or individually provide that shoulder. Also live a
    good and selfless life so that you can have a family or/and friends to lean or cry on their shoulders when
    the going gets too much for you to handle.

  • Let JAMB and Prof Oloyede be – By Francis Ewherido

    Let JAMB and Prof Oloyede be – By Francis Ewherido

    Prof. Ishaq Oloyede, the Registrar of the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB), is a man I have enormous respect for. I have not met him personally, but I admire him from afar. That is one of the hallmarks of impactful people. You don’t have to know or have physical encounter with them to feel their positive impact on the society. I have written two article on him before and do not wish to repeat myself here. My focus today is on the 2025 JAMB Exam, the mass failure and the uproar that followed. One of my wards who took the exam in Lagos told me that most of his classmates scored below 200 and the score he got though above 200 was below his expectation because “I prepared very well and the answers were easy.” 

    The uproar has been persistent and like many controversies in modern day Nigeria, ethnic colouration has been read into it. Prof Oloyede is a Yoruba man and devout Muslim, but in all the actions he has taken in public office, I have not seen ethnic or religious colouration.  May be a saboteur caused the the glitch that led to the mass failure because Oloyede will not go out of his way to make students from a certain ethnic group or religion fail massively. He has no reason to do that. He is very knowledgeable and knows the futility. An upright man that I have come to know from afar, he broke down in tears and publicly admitted the errors last Wednesday during a press conference. 

    Some people with religious and ethnic bias and cynics leanings are not impressed. They see his action as shedding of crocodile tears and trying to get public sympathy and have asked for his resignation. Prof Oloyede is not an actor, so he is not acting. He is a professor of Islamic studies. He also does not play to the gallery. He doesn’t need to. He is not one of those sit-tight leaders who want to cling unto power by all means. He’s a simple man and when you live a simple life, your needs are few and very easy to meet. It diminishes the urge to cling to power.

    Oloyede is genuine. Mistakes have been made and he has publicly taken responsibility in a society where people in positions fling subordinates under the bus rather than take responsibility, where people in positions prefer to spend millions of naira to paint a wrong to be right, where people in authority are cocky and would rather insult those with opposing views than simply apologise.

    The issue is, what is the way forward? He assured that the affected 379,997 candidates would be communicated through Short Message Service (SMS) by last Thursday, so that they could reprint their slips the rescheduled examinations on Friday and Saturday. My ward confirmed to me that some of his his classmates have received the SMS to write their exam today (Saturday). This is the Nigeria I crave for. Admit errors and quickly proffer solutions. As humans, there must be mistakes. It happens in every society. How do you react? That is where we have fallen short. Our reaction is what has arrested or truncated our progress as a nation.

    Some people have called for the scrapping of JAMB. Many of us either do not have our facts before we talk or just talk off-cuff. Go and check the records since Oloyede became the registrar of JAMB. In terms of operations, credibility and transparency, there’s been a massive improvement. In fact, in terms of efficiency and accountability, JAMB performs far better than the national average and many other government-owned agencies. And you want JAMB scrapped because of one glitch?

    Some people have called for individual universities to handle their admissions as was the case before JAMB came to be. I am totally opposed to it. Times have changed. There were major criteria then that were expressly spelt out. Nigeria was a much saner and cleaner society then. Things have deteriorated: merit, transparency, probity and accountability, etc. The ivory tower has not been spared the rot. In the 80s when I was in the university, there was still sanity. By the 90’s I started hearing of lecturers being sorted out (bribed). May be it also happened in the 80s and before but I am unaware. 

    Once males and females are together, I cannot vouch that what can go wrong will not go wrong, but there were fewer cases of sexual harassment in the 80s than we have now. It was really rampant a few years ago until some lecturers and professors were convicted and jailed, while others were disgraced. It has reduced, but it’s still there. It now goes beyond sexual harassment. Sex for grades is now involved.

     There is also no transparency in the expenditure of the internally generated revenues and government subvention to some universities. Research grants have also been allegedly diverted. How many universities can submit themselves for audit by government-appointed external auditors without panic? The next thing, various unions will threaten to go on strike. 

    I noticed that one university was producing many doctorate degree students. It is a good development, but I decided to dig further. I asked an insider who should know if all the doctorate degrees awarded were merited. He smiled and confessed that many of them were merited, but some were purchased. I am not talking of honorary doctorate degree. I am talking of the one awarded when the student has been found to be worthy both in character and learning. 

    Nigerians are like the anus. There’s scarcely any anus without some sh*t. It’s just that some are cleaner than others. But those with sh*t-infested anuses need to “off their mics.” People who want equity go with clean hands. Your hands cannot be filthy and you ask for equity. There’s nothing wrong with universities organizing their own entrance exams, but not under the current condition in some Nigerian universities. Many of the students taking JAMB Exam are under 18. The age of consent in Nigeria is 18. Let us not make under-aged girls vulnerable to sexual exploitation. Let us not also increase avenues for extortion of parents by those saddled with admission in Nigerian universities. It is already rampant.

    Let JAMB and Oloyede be. Oloyede has proven to be an upright man at the University of Ilorin as Vice Chancellor, JAMB as Registrar and upright as a practicing Muslim. You remember the story of how he exposed the pilfering of money at Abuja National Mosque. Nigeria needs more people like Oloyede. Nothing lasts forever. Oloyede will bow out as registrar of JAMB after serving his two terms. What is more important is the strengthening of our institutions so that when JAMB gets a new registrar after Oloyede’s tenure, he/she will take JAMB to greater heights. 

    As for Nigerian universities, clean up your act before requesting for the scrapping of JAMB. When that time comes, it will be obvious to all. For now, let JAMB and Oloyede be. They never said they were infallible. That is why he humbly came to apologise. There are many professors like him who don’t have the humility to acknowledge their wrongs.

  • Nwachukwu: Anger and the hangman – By Francis Ewherido

    Nwachukwu: Anger and the hangman – By Francis Ewherido

    “In your anger do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). This was Apostle Paul’s admonition in his letter to the people of Ephesus, but it applies to us the way it applied to the original target audience. Paul simply acknowledged that anger is a natural human emotion, but admonished that you should not allow your anger get the better of you and lead you to sin. I am sure Peter Nwachukwu, the husband of the late celebrated gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu, would have come across this verse in the bible, but apparently did not heed Apostle Paul’s advice. At least that is the belief of the court.

    Osinachi died on April 8, 2022. All kinds of stories flew around about the cause of her death. Law enforcement agents sprang into action. At the end of their investigation the husband was arraigned on a 23-count charge. He was fined or sentenced to imprisonment on 11 charges, but his albatross was culpable homicide which carries a death penalty in Nigeria. Last Monday, Justice Nwosu-Iheme of a FCT High Court, Wuse Zone 2, Abuja ruled that the prosecution had successfully discharged the burden of proof required by law and sentenced Peter Nwachukwu, to death by hanging for the death of his wife. He will face the hangman unless a higher court upturns this judgement or he gets state pardon. Both are outside our control, so let us focus on a few issues based on the guilty verdict and lessons we can learn. 

    Osinachi’s former personal assistant and her hair stylist told the court that he verbally and physically abused his late wife. The personal assistant said the husband once slapped Osinachi in his presence. The hair stylist also said the husband told Osinachi to bring his car keys. She gave it to the son to give to his father. He got angry that Osinachi didn’t bring it herself, came to where she was making her the hair and slapped her. She continued, “I witnessed another abuse in 2018. He came to my shop and slapped the deceased for not seeking his permission before coming to the salon.” 

    Only an insecure and sadistic spouse does these. Spousal abuse is a no-no in marriage. Nobody should tolerate it. My strong belief in the indissolubility of marriage notwithstanding, it is better for a marriage to end than for you to die. Only the living can remain married. Osinachi is dead. The day she died, her marriage died with her, so what is the point in staying in an abusive marriage that can lead to your death? Physical abuse in marriage is more easily noticed than verbal abuse. I will tell you my story. I had issues with the lady I wanted to get married in my bachelor days. In the course of trying to resolve our differences, she told me that I always pride myself that I have never laid my hands on a woman in my life, but the kind of acidic words that come out of my mouth, a woman would prefer physical abuse to such words. I never uttered words like “fool,” “idiot,” “stupid,” etc., but for her the “hard” words were just as bad as my “soft” words.  I never knew. 

    The relationship eventually broke down but I learnt a valuable lesson. When I met my wife, had to watch my tongue. Disagreements are inevitable in a marriage but avoid verbal abuse, subtle or obvious. You will be provoked in marriage; you will sometimes get angry, but react sensibly. When I am angry, I seal my lips until I can talk like a rationale person (Unfortunately, I still react spontaneously once in a while). 

    Talking about physical abuse, the question I always ask myself is, “does this man really love his wife? There is no part in a woman’s body that is worth inflicting injuries on. You do not go about harming a wife who you love. I see women with black eyes, swollen lips and lacerations all over their bodies from domestic abuse. Women, on the other hand, have been reported to have cut off their husbands’ penises, used pestle to hit their husbands’ heads, stabbed their husbands with knives and scissors. Some spouses give their other halves acid baths. Shocking.

    The other allegation of the personal assistant was that the husband shielded Osinachi from her family. He said the husband once prevented the twin sister from joining Osinachi on stage during a singing ministration. He also said that the husband gave instruction that nobody should see Osinachi when they went to Enugu or Owerri. His thinking is that the instruction was given to prevent her family based there from seeing her. Honestly, it doesn’t make sense. All sensible men I know make provisions for their wives to interact with their relatives. These are the people who raised or/and shared their lives with her before you met her. If your wife has issues with the parents/siblings, follow your wife’s lead. Don’t tear them apart. I always drive it into my children’s heads that anybody who wants to shield them from their family during courtship must be avoided I will never give my blessing to that union. I will also make it clear, among other issues I will raise before marriage, so that we are on one page. Any spouse who prevents his/her spouse from seeing their family is evil, except in unusual cases. 

    Though a marriage is between the man and the woman, we must realise that in Africa, you marry into the family. Africa culture is not about the immediate family only.  Even in the Western world, the extended family comes together once in a while for certain celebrations. One advice my eldest brother gave to us before marriage that I treasure till now is that we must respect each other’s family. It is very important. The PA said they once missed their flight to Zimbabwe because Nwachukwu and Osinachi’s mother were quarrelling and this delayed them.

    One of the charges against Nwachukwu was cruelty to the children. Normally, people say the mother manipulated the children against their father. Osinachi died before the trial, so who manipulated the children against their father? People close to the couple also made the same allegation against Nwachukwu. From what I know, children whose fathers are in their lives scarcely turn against them. Being in their lives goes beyond feeding, housing and sending them to school. These are good, but sometimes what matters to them most to children are little things like dropping them off in school as often as you can, even when you have drivers; making a special dish for them (for fathers with good cooking skills), attending their school activities, etc. Fathers, do not see these as mother’s stuff. In your old age, even if you have tons of cash, you need someone to apply them. Be in your children’s lives.

    Since the death sentence was passed on Nwachukwu, there have been varied opinions. For me, people should be more concerned about how to manage their anger and how to rejoice with more successful spouses, siblings or friends, not envy or evil intentions.

  • Senator Ewherido: The man who saw tomorrow

    Senator Ewherido: The man who saw tomorrow

    The late Senator Akpor Pius Ewherido, you recall, was the only Democratic People’s Party (DPP) Senator in the Senate from 2011 until June 30, 2013, when he died.

    He had left the People’s Democratic Party for DPP due to political differences. He was grateful to the DPP that gave him the platform to go to the senate, but he was restless. The DPP was only strong in Delta State.

    He had two dreams which he shared with me. One, he said the DPP, as it were, could not make Delta State a strong force in national affairs. He said that a bigger platform was needed to achieve that. He was misconstrued, but he was not deterred. He was a man of vision and fundamental conviction who pursued whatever he believed in with utmost vigour.  Two, he wanted APC to produce the governor of Delta State

    Meanwhile, a lot was happening in DPP. It culminated in a national convention in Abuja. The main issue was the way forward for the party. The leaders of DPP could not come to a consensus on the way forward. Politics is a game of interests. They agreed to pursue their various interests. Sen. Ewherido, Chief Olisaemeka Akamukali, who was the National Vice Chairman, Dr. Iyke Odikpo, Chief Adelabu Bodjor, Chief Achibuogu and some other leaders and members of DPP joined the coalition from where APC emerged.

    The Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN), the Congress for Progressive Change (CPC), the All Nigeria People’s Party(ANPP) and the nPDP, a faction of PDP, were apparently the bigger partners, but there was a faction of APGA led by Chief Rochas Okorocha and a faction of DPP, led by Sen. Akpor Pius Ewherido, which came together to form the APC on February 6, 2013.

    Before APC was formed as a party in February 2013, many meetings took place in Abuja among leaders of the various parties. Ewherido and Akamukali were mainly in Abuja representing the DPP faction, while other leaders were also working in Delta State since all politics is local.

    I remember my brother coming home every weekend from Abuja for consultations and meetings with leaders and followers of the group. He also held meetings/consultations with members of the other political parties in the emerging APC. I remember vividly the meeting he had with the late Chief Adolor Okotie-Eboh, at Ewhu, our hometown in Delta State. He also met in London with Hon. Temi Harriman who incidentally was in London.

    Everything was going on smoothly until June 30, 2013, when tragedy struck. My brother died. A month after he died, APC received approval from the Independent National Electoral Commission on 31th July 2013 to become a political party.

    My brother was buried on July 19, 2013. Shortly after my brother’s burial, Chief Adelabu Bodjor led a three-man team that included Hon. Edewor Omonemu, a former commissioner for Commerce and Industry in Delta State, and the late, Chief Henry Olori on a condolence visit/consultative meeting with the Sen. Ewherido’s siblings in our home town, Ewhu.

    After another round of expression of condolences over his death, the delegation reminded us that our late brother had put in so much efforts and resources into the efforts to form APC and it should not be allowed to go to waste.

    He was the leader of the DPP faction and DPP was the dominant party in the new APC in Delta State. Then the delegation asked the critical question, the main reason for the visit. They wanted to know if any of us (siblings) was willing to take over the leadership of the group.

    The response was a unanimous “NO.” “We just want to be left alone to mourn our brother,” we responded. Then they asked if they had the permission of the family to look for someone to take over the leadership of the group. We freely gave them the go ahead. Let me just add that the issue with the group was not really about leadership because they had people with the leadership capacity to lead the group.

    Funding the group at that time was capital-intensive and needed a new financier, someone with a deep pocket. They left after our meeting. A few days later, Hon. Omonemu briefed us that he was sent to Lagos by Chief Bodjor and others to invite Olorogun Otega Emerhor to lead the faction DPP in the APC.

    Please note that Olorogun Emerhor was one of the financiers and a leader of DPP prior to the Abuja meeting where it was agreed that everybody should pursue their different political interests, but he did not follow the DPP faction into the coalition that gave birth to APC. When Omonemu came back from Lagos, he briefed us (my siblings and I) of the result of his meeting with Olorogun

    Emerhor. It was positive. Emerhor took over the leadership of the group and funded it. Subsequently, it was easy for him to become the APC leader in Delta State because the DPP faction was the dominant group. There were initial squabbles and opposition from the other parties, but he triumphed.

    Emerhor was the governorship candidate of the APC in the 2015 election, but lost to the PDP governorship candidate. But the APC won the presidential election. In Buhari’s eight years as president, the Delta State APC had Olorogun Festus Keyamo as a minister and other members of APC held various positions at the federal level. When HE Ovie Omo-Agege moved from the Labour Party to the APC, he became an APC senator.

    The icing on the cake was when he emerged the Deputy President of the Senate of the Federal Republic of Nigeria in 2019, which was possible because he was now in a big party, the APC. His position put Delta State further in the national scheme of things. Currently, Olorogun Festus Keyamo, occupies an omnibus and critical Ministry of Aviation and Aerospace Development.

    This is in addition to other vital positions occupied by APC members at the federal level. All the three Delta State senators are APC. Consequently, I say boldly that part of my brother’s dream to make Delta State APC to be at the centre of scheme of affairs in Nigeria has been achieved.

    His second wish was for APC to govern Delta State. He was confident it could be achieved in 2015. But he could not oversee that because he died in 2013. Sometimes when people die, their dreams also die with them or they are delayed.

    Last week, the governor of Delta State, his executive, the legislators, local government chairmen, etc., resigned from PDP. They officially moved to APC on Monday, April 28, 2025. Ten years after Sen Ewherido anticipated Delta State would become an APC state and almost 12 years after he died, he dreams have been realized.

    “The war was won without firing a bullet,” figuratively speaking (there was no election). When you start a cup final, you hope to win within the regulation time. But sometimes African Nations Cup (1992 and 2015) and World Cups (1990, 2006, 2014 and 2018) are won via penalties. Even normal matches can be won via penalties. What history records in brief is which country won the world cup and Nations Cup.

    HE Sheriff Obrorevwori, congratulations on becoming the first APC governor of Delta State. Your friend, Pius Ewherido, would be very happy where he is. Your friendship dated back to the early 90s when you were “happening young men” in the Effurun-Warri axis. You went your separate ways politically at some point when he moved to DPP.

    But today you are the leader of a party where he was a national founding father and the arrowhead in Delta State. My message to you is that he wanted Delta State to be great. That was why he joined the coalition that metamorphosed into APC. I was in Delta State earlier in the year. I went around to assess your performance. I was happy with what I saw, but there is still a lot to be done. As I once told you privately when I had the opportunity, “serve our people (Deltans) well.” I am saying it publicly, Your Excellency, serve our people well o! Welcome to APC.

     

    Francis Ewherido is a brother to the late Sen. Akpor Pius Ewherido, one of the national founding fathers of APC

  • Education can never be a scam – By Francis Ewherido

    Education can never be a scam – By Francis Ewherido

    Frustration has recently pushed some youths to describe education as a scam. It didn’t start now. It is only getting louder as it is becoming harder for graduates to get employment. I want to be very clear from the beginning. Wikipedia defines education in its simplest form as “the transmission of knowledge and skills and the development of character traits.” Apparently these youths are referring to “formal education.”  Wikipedia says “formal education occurs within a structured institutional framework, such as public schools, following a curriculum.” So the frustration of these youngsters is with formal education. I believe their thinking it is partly misplaced because education starts from the home after birth.

    The truth is that you cannot divorce formal education from informal education, especially at this critical stage when the unemployment rate of youths in Nigeria is alarming. Also informal education is continuous and “involves unstructured learning through daily experiences.” Reducing unemployment in Nigeria has to be multi-faced. In previous articles, I wrote about the need for universities and polytechnics to rejig their curricula to enable them produce graduates who are self-starters and can hit the ground running. Currently, there are quite a number of half-baked and unemployable graduates who can’t defend the certificates they are flaunting. But there are also graduates who are looking for job opportunities.

    Since education starts from the family, I want to start from there. Any parent with two or more children knows that children are different in character, temperament, innate gifts, skills, etc. From a very tender age, say age one or even less, these tendencies begin to manifest. Every parent needs to be observant of his/her children. You cannot solve a problem you do not understand or proffer solutions to situations you are ignorant of.  There are some children who are very inquisitive. They will ask questions until they wear you out. If you have such a child pay attention to his likes, interests and other gifts. You might just be dealing with a future lawyer (advocate), detective, etc. Keep an eye of the child as she grows older. With proper guidance, she will discover her calling early and pursue it.

    By the time your child is in senior secondary school, she should know what she wants to become in life. But not everybody has this clarity of purpose. That is where the role of parents as mentors becomes very important. Guide your children on a journey of self-discovery to know what they want in life. As a rule, I ask every student in senior secondary school I come across what their interests are and what they want to study in the university. Last Tuesday, one of my godsons and the father came to visit me. I asked him the same question and he said computer science. I asked him what informed his choice…

    A father had two daughters in the same school. Their school gave them two booklets of tickets to sell to raise funds for charity. The younger one sold her tickets in on no time. In fact, she sold them within two Sundays in church. Meanwhile, the older daughter had not sold up to 10 leaflets in the booklet containing 50 leaflets after almost a month. The father took the booklet and promised to help her sell them to his colleagues in the office. He wanted to save her the humiliation of failing while her younger sibling succeeded. But he learnt a major lesson from the incident. He said he would encourage the elder daughter think about working as a researcher or a computer engineer, programmer or any job that does not require much inter personal skills. I do not need to tell you that the younger daughter will be a great marketer or succeed in professions that require much inter personal skills.

    Another parent has an inquisitive and restless son. He was also never satisfied with the status quo. He always questioned the status quo and offered what he thought would be better solutions. His father called him one day and told him that “son, even if all your siblings want to relocate abroad, I beg you to stay in Nigeria. Your future lies here. You are a solution provider. Nigeria has many problems and in need of solution providers. The young man listened to his father and stayed back. He made his millions while he was still an undergraduate. He’s doing very well today. If you interact with him, you know immediately that he is a special breed.  But not all children are gifted like him. Some of children need to be specially mentored. At the end of the day, they are all diamonds. Some are just rough diamonds and need to be polished. Their beauty (greatness) cannot be come to fruition unless they are polished(mentored). That is partly why parenting is serious business. It is not supposed to be an all-comers-affair. But nature has made it so.

    We should not mix up mentorship with parents deciding what their children should study. I thought it was old fashioned, but it is still happening. There were some successful professionals (lawyers and medical doctors, especially) who forced their children to study law or medicine so that they could take over the chambers or clinics/hospitals. Where the children were naturally inclined, it went well, but when the children had other interests, the outcome was different. Let your children pursue their passion. Dr. Deji Adeleke owns a business empire. Today, many people know him as Davido’s father. Father and son had their battles before he allowed Davido to pursue his music career. Now, both of them are happy.

    I focus on the family unit because we operate in a society where people are better off if they are in charge of their lives as much as possible. There are many things the system provides abroad that we have to provide for ourselves here. It might seem selfish and parochial, but you have to sort out the home front first before you move on to solve societal problems. As a parent you should prepare your children to be in charge in their lives. Abroad the school system is well structured to help children know their strengths, but it is absent here. When it is available, it is mechanical.

    There are some basic factors that have shaped the lives of many educated people currently from ages 45 to 60: the courses they studied in the university, why they chose the courses, their career paths and clarity of their choices of career. We also have their choice of spouses. If you studied what you love and have a natural flair for, your probability of success is enhanced. Also, even without initial clarity, if you stumble on a career/business and grow into it, the probability of success is also very high. I will not delve into choice of spouse because the story is too long to accommodate in this article. The other critical choice is whether to take an employment, grow in your career and retire at the retirement age or start a business at the right time and grow it. Wrong choices have arrested the development of many people within the age group above. Timing is very critical in situations when people leave paid employment to own a business or be self-employed. Also, a career-oriented person has no business going into business until after retirement. It can easily become a vicious cycle until the person dies or grows too old run the business. Do not look afar. The examples are all around us.