TheNewsGuru

Tag: Incest

  • The insanity called incest – By Francis Ewherido

    The insanity called incest – By Francis Ewherido

    Two stories in The Newsguru caught my attention last weekend: “Man Impregnates 19-year-old daughter in Ogun” and “Anambra Govt. rescues 12-year-old girl allegedly defiled by her father.” Basically these two men allegedly (because they have not been convicted) committed incest. The dictionary defines incest as “sexual relations between people classed as being too closely related to marry each other” and “The crime of having sexual intercourse with a parent, child, sibling, or grandchild” and so forth.

    The two stories did not catch my attention because they are new or unexpected; incest has become a regular occurrence in our society, unfortunately. They caught my attention because these stories keep appearing and it is very difficult to get used to them. Incest is not just a “sin of sexual nature” like adultery and fornication, but it is a crime. It is more unsettling and repulsive. It is an oddity.  Our society finds it abominable, which is why it continues to make the news. More annoying is the fact that in most cases the men take advantage of the vulnerability of their daughters. In the first case, the man is separated from his wife and took custody of the daughter at some point. Men do this for three main reasons. One, they feel that they are in a better position to take care of their daughters. Second, they do not want the new men in their ex-wives’ lives to bring up their children. Three, some men fear that the step-father might take sexual advantage of their daughters. Many of such cases have been reported. Unfortunately, in this case the father turned around to do same thing. 

    My questions for the first man are: Why not re-marry like your ex-wife did if you cannot do without sex? Why should you use your own daughter to replace her mother as a sex partner? I am sorry to say it but patronizing prostitutes would have been more tolerable than sleeping with his daughter. It would not have been news, at least. She said that her father had been “sleeping with her since February 2022 with threats to kill her if she informed anybody about it.” Like the rest of these depraved men, he knew what he was doing was wrong, yet he carried on. And when he impregnated the daughter, he decided to pin the pregnancy on a young man. He apparently knew the young man had or was having sex with his daughter. It is also possible that he had the intention of using the young man as an alibi in the event of a pregnancy. I doubt if he is well read. He would have known something called deoxyribonucleic acid, DNA for short. 

    Just a little digression here. She confessed that the young man slept with her once, a position the young man and his family held on to for denying the pregnancy. Young people should realize that you do not need multiple sex to get pregnant or impregnate a girl. All that is needed is an insertion of the penis into the vagina and you risk getting pregnant or impregnating a girl out of marriage. The man does not even need to ejaculate inside the vagina to risk getting her pregnant because once the penis is inserted, some sperms “leak” out before ejaculation and only one sperm out of the multitude is needed to fertilise an ovum (egg) leading to pregnancy. I am reminding you just in case you forgot the reproduction you learnt in secondary school. Anyway, the father is responsible. He has confessed and blamed it on the usual fall guy, the devil. 

    In the second case, the Anambra State Government said it rescued a 12-year-old girl, alongside her two younger siblings, from their father, who allegedly defiles her. The accused allegedly presents himself as a Christian, who helps to solve his patrons’ spiritual problems, but he apparently has a dark side. Physician, heal thyself, you would say. The report said that he locked up his three children in a room for five years. He was accused of raping the 12-year-old and fingering the two younger siblings over time. He denied the accusations, but why lock them up for five years. Why are they not in school? The accused also claimed to be married to 11 wives but does not live with any of them. A husband to 11 women lives without any of them and is now is being accused of sexually molesting his three daughters. Interesting! I have asked this question before and I will ask again, what is sexually attractive about under aged children who have not reached puberty? Another useless father in another case gave the excuse that she met the daughter of about 20 lying “anyhow” when he came in and the devil (again?) made him to have sex with his own daughter. But for the fact that some people live in small accommodation, I would have said that if you know you lack self-control, why go your daughter’s room?

    All responsible fathers love their daughters a lot. But it is phillia love, which is devoid of passion and sexual impulse, and agape love (unconditional and selfless love). That is why such parents invest their time and resources to bring up their daughters to be successful and useful members of the society. Many of these beautiful girls have fathers who love (Phillia and agape) them immensely. Even when they do not have enough resources to go round, some fathers deny themselves and spend it on their children. That is what responsible fathers do.

    They do not bring up daughters that have been mentally and psychologically damaged due to incest. There are girls who hate men, but will not come out of the closet to tell you why. Some women have refused to get married because of sexual abuse by male relatives while they were younger. Look at the state of our health facilities that treat people with physical ailments. Then you can imagine what the state of health institutions that deal with mental and psychological issues would look like.

    How do we stem this ugly situation? Ordinarily, the law enforcement agencies and judiciary are our last hope. I am reliably informed by a lawyer friend, Barr. P. J. Osuji, that there are laws to punish offenders. In section 214 Criminal Code Cap 77 LFN 2004;

    “Any person who has carnal knowledge of any person against the order of nature; … is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for fourteen years.” The Act further states the punishment for incest in section 214 (3) where it prescribes a minimum of fourteen (14) years in jail. Offences against morality are termed as felonies which carry a minimum of fourteen (14) years in jail. 

    If you investigate, you will find out that majority of incest cases are swept under the carpet at the family level. “The good name of the family must be protected.” “Let us not wash our dirty linen in public.” But what about the victims?

    The ultimate solution to incest is self-discipline. Take away your eros love (physical sexual desires) and lust far away from other family members. Restrict it to your spouse.

  • Why I slept with my son — Mother confesses

    Why I slept with my son — Mother confesses

    Matina Agawua, a native of Yelwata in Nasarawa State has narrated why she slept with her biological son, confessing she engaged in the act to check if she was still fertile.

    Agawua said when she lost her first husband, she decided to remain a widow for 13 years. She revealed she lost her first husband to a herdsmen attack in Northern Nigeria. Her first marriage produced a son.

    She remarried years after the death of her husband but had difficulties having a child with her second husband, Mr James after six years of marriage.

    The woman said her in-laws threatened to show her the way out on the ground of not being able to have a child for their son.

    “We had been married for more than six years but were still childless due to my husband’s fault, according to doctor’s report, and I was hearing from the grapevine that he was planning to take a second wife on the grounds that I could not give him a child,” Agawua said in a recent interview with The Nation.

    She further said while she took a fertility test, her husband did not deem it necessary to go for a medical check-up to ascertain the source of the problem.

    She said she suspected that her husband was suffering from low sperm count which made him unable to father a child as the test she took showed that there was nothing wrong with her. The woman said it was amid this crisis that she slept with her only son from her first marriage.

    “Since he is not comfortable with us going for medical checkups on the assumption that nothing was wrong with him, I decided to convince my little son, who is just about 16 years old and schooling in Akwanga. I visit him regularly. He stays in a private apartment with my relatives, so I was going there to spend some time with them, especially on weekends when my market is off. It was actually difficult making love with my own son, but circumstances forced me to go into it. I needed to be sure of my fertility.

    “I know my husband very well. If he discovered I had an affair with a man outside, he would kill me. I love him so much and I’m afraid of him, so this evil plan kept ringing in my mind to know how fertile I am. I tried to visit my son in Akwanga mostly when I was on my ovulation period. I decided to develop a crush on him and draw him very close to me. We got intimate and ended up having s3x.

    “One faithful day while I was on my ovulation period, I visited him. It was at about 11 pm. I held his hand and made him sit beside me.

    “I asked him if he had ever had s3x and he said no. I held him in my arms. This time, I felt warm and I think he too did. After that night, I felt extremely embarrassed, and guilty that I committed such an abomination with my own son. It was actually a taboo, but I warned him to keep it secret,” Agawua narrated.

  • INCEST: Mother having sex, gave birth to three children for own son in Kwara [Photo]

    INCEST: Mother having sex, gave birth to three children for own son in Kwara [Photo]

    A Beninese immigrant, Adamu Sime, has been arrested by the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC), Kwara State Command, for allegedly having canal knowledge of his biological mother.

    The command’s spokesman, Mr Babawale Afolabi, confirmed this in a statement he signed and made available to newsmen on Sunday, in Ilorin.

    Afolabi said that Sime had been having an affair with his mother for a long time and it had resulted in three offspring.

    “On Sept. 9, the District Head of Mosne Had Community, Kaima, Malam Bandede, reported the forbidden act being committed by Sime and his mother Fati Sime of the same community.

    “Men from the Intelligence Unit, NSCDC in Kaima, swung into action and the outcome of the investigations established the fact that the mother (Fati) had birthed three children for her biological son”, he stated.

    Afolabi said that further investigation revealed that the younger brother of the accused, who was also confirmed to be sleeping with the mother, was now at large.

    He said that the mother and her two sons did not have the necessary papers to stay in Nigeria and had been handed over to the Nigeria lmmigration Service, for background checks and further action.

  • Why incest is becoming rampant in Nigeria

    Why incest is becoming rampant in Nigeria

    Stakeholders, including child rights activists, sociologists, lawyers and clerics have identified major factors behind the rising cases of incest in the country.

    Some of the stakeholders identified lack of traditional family values, moral decadence, broken homes, emotional imbalance, shift in family roles due to poverty and ignorance among others.

    In Ibadan, Mrs Foluso Adigun, the immediate past President of Women Connected By Purpose (WCBP), an NGO, said more incest cases were being recorded because of lack of family values and communal living.

    She noted that economic hardship and the shift in the role of women were also contributory factors because fewer women now stay at home and watch over their children.

    Adigun said infiltration of western influences and negative attitudes also promotes incest in the society.

    Dr Sharon Omotosho, the Coordinator of the Women Research and Documentation Centre at the University of Ibadan, said parents must be held responsible for the abuse of their wards.

    According to her, all hands must be on deck to stop incest because no member of the society is exempted from the scourge.

    “Some people do it for spiritual purposes, money rituals and longevity or those looking for fame,” Omotosho said.

    For Pastor Yemisi Ayorinde, poverty and lack of knowledge were major factors that promote incest.

    She said: “Some mothers due to poverty and ignorance tell their daughters to keep quiet when they are being abused by their fathers.

    A legal practitioner, Mrs Olusayo Adeleye, said that incest is considered a criminal act in the country and relevant laws must be enforced to deter potential offenders.

    “The Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act 2015 in Section 25, criminalises incest and prescribes a minimum term of 10 years imprisonment without an option of fine.

    Adeleye who quoted various laws against incest, described it as a sexual act that can be said to be against the law of nature.

    The rights activist urged the government to pass the Sexual Offences Act (Amendment) Bill 2019 in order to protect minors and under aged against sexual exploitation.

    She further encouraged state governments to domesticate laws criminalising incest.

    Mr Sunday Bamidele, a sociologist, identified broken home as the top ranking reason for incestuous relationships in the Nigerian society.

    He told NAN in Akure that easy access to pornography through the internet could encourage siblings, who most of the times are left alone to engage in sexual intercourse

    Olamide Falana, the Executive Director of Girls to Women Research and Development Centre, attributed lack of self-control on the part of parents, families and guardians for the “extreme increase” in the cases of incest in the society.

    In Makurdi, some of the residents blamed the growing incestuous relations amongst families and close relatives on uncontrollable sex drives and demonic motives.

    A Psychologist with the Benue State University (BSU), Mr David Denen, regretted that the habit was growing like a “wild fire in the wilderness”.

    He said victims of incest turned to suffer depression as they live with the act throughout their lives without sharing such experiences with others.

    Also, Magdalene Inarigu, a lawyer, said incest was a crime in Nigeria by virtue of section 3(1)(b) of the Matrimonial Causes Act.

    She said in Benue, those caught for such acts were handed over to the police for possible prosecution by the law courts in line with the relevant laws.

    On her part, Mrs Veronica Daa’or, Founder of Elohim Foundation Makurdi, said the failure to bring such sex offenders to book or be identified was the reason for its continuity.

    Bishop Joseph Masin, Chairman, Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), and Alhaji Mohammed Ali, Secretary General of Ja’amatu Nasrul Islam (JNI), in the state, submitted that incest was against the teachings of both Islam and Christianity.

    He also blamed the trend on lack of faith in the teachings of the Holy Bible, and called for a stiffer legislation to stem the practice.

    Alhaji Muhammad Ali, Secretary General of Jama’atul Nasrul Islam (JNI) in the state, said he was disturbed by the rising cases of incest in the society.

    “Allah made it clear in many verses in the Holy Qur’an the category of people one must not harbour amorous feelings for talk less of having sex with them.

    In Jos, the parish priest in charge of St. Augustine’s Pastoral Area, Farin Gada, Rev. Fr. Stephen Ekpe, called for universal moral values to curtail incest in the society.

    Similarly, the Amira (Leader) of the Federation of Muslim Women Associations in Nigeria (FOMWAN), Plateau chapter, Mrs Muhibba Abdulrazak, condemned incest saying that Islam strongly forbade it.

    Abdulrazak said incest was a big and unforgivable sin and should not be celebrated in our society.

    Meanwhile, Mrs Mary Izam, the Chairperson of the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) in Plateau, the organisation was battling with lots of cases on incest ranging from fathers raping daughters, to uncles raping nieces.

    She said FIDA is also dealing with cases of brother with a sister/cousin, or even a man sleeping with his wife’s biological sister is also incest because incest refers to sexual intercourse among members of the same family.

    “We have also handled a case of a 15-year-old girl that is two months pregnant for her father who is 75 years old,” she said.

    A Jos-based, Clinical Psychologist, Mr Paradang Gogwim, said children whom were victims of incest grow in fear and mostly lose confidence in themselves and people in the family.

    Gogwim said children would develop trust issues with members of their immediate family which also extended to other members of the community.

    He gave other psychological conditions as Post traumatic Stress Disorders (PTSD).

    Also in Jalingo, Rev. Christopher Adekaa, Pastor in charge of the Glorious Living Church, condemned the act of incest in the society, saying that most of the incestuous activities were ritual-motivated.

    Similarly, Utsaz Moddibo Adamu, an Islamic Scholar in Jalingo, said that drug addiction could influence incestuous behaviour in adults adding that that God was already annoyed with “our society”.

    Also, Mr Kwanji Amoamoh, a psychologist, said incestuous activities caused a negative stereotype on communities where such behaviours were noticed.