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Tag: love

  • Christians must beware of dead works (1) – By Femi Aribisala

    Christians must beware of dead works (1) – By Femi Aribisala

    “Works done dispassionately are abominable to God”.

    Dead works are works of presumptive righteousness that are very displeasing to God. Born again Christians specialize in these works, but their most ardent practitioners are pastors, especially the so-called mega pastors.

    Dead works are deceitful. When we do them, we think we are righteous and assume we are doing what God wants. But God hates the dead works that Christians esteem. Jesus warns: “What is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.” (Luke 16:15).

    Isaiah points out that, to God: “all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.” (Isaiah 64:6).Therefore, the writer of Hebrews maintains that repentance from dead works is one of the “elementary principles of Christ.” (Hebrews 6:1).

    Joyless works

    Dead works are works not done joyfully. Nehemiah counselled Israel in the wilderness: “Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10).

    Jesus: “has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” (Isaiah 53:4). Through His completed works of salvation, He gave us: “beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that (we) may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” (Isaiah 61:3).

    Therefore, we must “rejoice always.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16). We should rejoice: “because (our) names are written in heaven.” (Luke 10:20). We must be exceedingly glad even when persecuted: “for great is (our) reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before (us).” (Matthew 5:12).

    Jesus says: “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33). Therefore, James says: “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” (James 1:2-3).

    Because the Israelites did not rejoice in their maker and deliverer, Moses said God would send them into captivity:

    “Because you did not serve the Lord your God with joy and gladness of heart, for the abundance of everything, therefore you shall serve your enemies, whom the Lord will send against you, in hunger, in thirst, in nakedness, and in need of everything; and He will put a yoke of iron on your neck until He has destroyed you.” (Deuteronomy 28:47-48).

    Fullness of joy

    For a Christian to do anything joylessly is to deny the great salvation of Christ and despise the continuing work of the Holy Spirit. It is to reject our translation from the power of darkness into the kingdom of God. This everlasting kingdom is not just about righteousness, it is about: “righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 14:17).

    Isaiah says to God: “You meet him who rejoices and does righteousness, who remembers You in Your ways.” (Isaiah 64:5).

    This means the believer has lost the right to grumble or complain about anything.Whatever the situation or circumstance: “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” (Philippians 2:14-15).

    You can ask a child to do an inconvenient task and, although he does it, he hates doing it. That makes his doing it a dead work to God. Our works must be done joyfully. We must be: “hospitable to one another without grumbling.” (1 Peter 4:9-10). Otherwise, our hospitality is a dead work. We must be patient and longsuffering with joyfulness. (Colossian 1:11). Otherwise, our patience and longsuffering become dead works.

    Good works are only those works that acknowledge the goodness of the Lord. They are works that redound to the glory of God. Therefore, the must be done with joy and gladness.

    The psalmist says to God: “Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus, I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.” (Psalm 63:3-5).

    This means works done out of compulsion or necessity are abhorrent to God. This fact is hidden to mercenary pastors who threaten New Testament believers with the devourer and with exclusion from heavenly blessings if they do not give tithes and offerings.

    These pastors love big givers, but God only accepts cheerful givers.  Paul says: “Let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7).

    So, not all giving is acceptable to God. If you give reluctantly, it is a dead work. If you give and regret giving, it is a dead work. If you give sacrificially, it is a dead work.

    Works without love

    Jesus says: “I don’t want your sacrifices- I want your love; I don’t want your offerings- I want you to know me.” (Matthew 9:13).

    The love of God is the only acceptable basis for good works. But Jesus says “our desires for other things” militate against our faithfulness to and love for God. (Mark 4:19). Any work not done because of the love of God is a dead work.

    Paul says: “Though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:2-3).

    Moreover, our love for God must supersede all other loves. Jesus insists: “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” (Matthew 10:37).

    Works done out of fear of going to hell are also dead works. John says: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18).

    Lukewarm love

    As newlyweds, a wife was very diligent in cooking delectable meals every day for her husband. She also loved to wash his clothes and iron them. But ten years down the road, it had become a chore for her. She still managed to do these things occasionally, but now only as a matter of routine.

    After ten years of marriage, what she used to do for her husband out of love for him had become dead works because love was no longer the mainspring.

    This is the predicament of most Christians. Over the years, our faith has been starched of the love and passion it once had when we newly believed. But works done dispassionately are abominable to God.

    Jesus chides the church of Ephesus: “I have this against you, that you have left your first love.  Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place — unless you repent.” (Revelation 2:4-5).

    He says to the Laodiceans: “Because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.” (Revelation 3:16-17).

    CONTINUED

  • [Devotional] IN HIS PRESENCE: He loves you just the way you are

    [Devotional] IN HIS PRESENCE: He loves you just the way you are

    By Oke Chinye

    Read: Psalm 139:1-24

    Meditation verse:

    “I will praise You; I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are Your  works, and that my soul knows very well” (Psalm 139:14)..

    “Why am I this way? “I wish I was slimmer”. “You know I’m not like you, I can’t  do it”. “I wish I was more outgoing, nothing exciting ever happens in my life”.  

    Do any of the above statements sound like you? If truth be told, we are all guilty  of whining over one issue or the other and wishing we were the opposite of  some of the traits we manifest. At some point in my life, I had wished `I was a  more adventurous person, so that I could do all the seemingly exciting things I  saw some people do, but which I didn’t seem to have the natural inclination for.  Then one morning I heard the following words in my spirit “has it ever occurred to you that you are exactly who God wants you to be so that you can accomplish  the assignment He wants you to? That was such a life transforming moment for  me. 

    Psalm 139:14 says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are God’s  creation, and all His creation are marvellous. Jeremiah 1:5 says before God  formed you in your mother’s womb, He knew you and decided what He was  creating you for. You are factory fitted, shaped, and graced for your assignment.  If the Master and great Potter wanted you any different, don’t you think he  would have created you differently?  

    This is in no way intended to discourage you from pursuing self-improvement.  Working on your weakness and striving to become a better version of yourself  is laudable. But remember that whether you introverted or extroverted, boring, or exciting, outgoing or an indoor person, fat or thin, you are complete in Him.  Connect the dots between who you are and what you have been created to do and live the abundant life that Jesus Christ purchased for you on the cross. Just  be yourself, everyone else is taken.

     

    IN HIS PRESENCE is written by Pst (Mrs) Oke Chinye, Founder of The Rock Teaching Ministry (TRTM).

    For Prayers and Counseling email rockteachingministry@gmail.com

    or call +2348155525555

    For more enquiries, visit: www.rockteachingministry.org.

  • The subjects of marriage – By Francis Ewherido

    The subjects of marriage – By Francis Ewherido

    By Francis Ewherido

    Many people agree that marriage is a school where you remain a student until you die; no graduation. That is why you get your certificate at inception to show that you enrolled in the institution of marriage, but no certificate of graduation. Of course, there is death certificate and divorce certificate, which are outside our discussion today. But to remain in the institution, there are the subjects – compulsory and optional – that you have to pass. Marriage (monogamy) is a union of a man and woman. Marriages differ, just as the subjects you write to gain admission into higher institutions differ; also the courses you intend to study to get a particular degree or specialisation.

    A credit in Mathematics and English seem to be compulsory to have a meaningful secondary school leaving certificate, but compulsory courses for a successful marriage seem to differ from one person to the other. For some couples fidelity is compulsory. Fail it and your marriage in jeopardy or over (separation, divorce or annulment). But for some married people fidelity is not a compulsory course, if not the statistics by some “experts” that more than 50 per cent of married men and women have cheated on their spouses will not exist. In fact you have what they call swinging and open relationships where couples cheat with the full knowledge of their spouses.

    Love is supposed to be a compulsory subject, but it is not so for some married people. We often hear of cases where married people approach the courts asking for divorce because they no longer love their spouses. Even the word, love is amoebic. It comes in different shapes and colours like the chameleon. If we attempt to dwell on what love is, we will deviate from today’s topic. But however you look at it, from my personal experience in marriage, I do not know how you can stay for 10 years and above with a spouse you do not love. You can live a lie for a while, but not for too long.

    For our discussion today, let’s define love as a deep feeling of affection for your spouse. It is this deep feeling that makes it possible to love your spouse substantially. I will rate love as a compulsory course because “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” In fact God instituted marriage and God is love. Though I Corinthians 13: 4-7 is talking about love generally, it also includes marital love.

    There is no room for pride in marriage. Humility is a core subject in marriage. Honouring a spouse is also a core subject. Patience and perseverance are core subjects. How do you intend to sustain a marriage without patience and perseverance? From my experience, it is not possible.

    Forgiveness is one of the most difficult courses of marriage. It is compulsory. Anyone who wants a successful marriage has very little option. “Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well” (Wikipedia).

    The subject of forgiveness is very tough in all spheres of life, more so marriage. The deeper you love, the more difficult the forgiveness of deep hurts. But daily, Christian spouses are reminded in the Lord’s Prayer that forgiveness from God is predicated on forgiving our neighbour (spouse) who wrongs us. Specifically, Jesus said: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14:15). To tell us that He means business, Jesus told Peter, his disciple, who was also struggling with forgiving his neighbour, that he should forgive 70 times seven, which means always (Matthew 18:22).

    When we sin against God, God expects us to come to Him with a broken and contrite heart to ask for and get His forgiveness (Psalm 51). But here we are being asked to forgive spouses who have not even agreed that they are wrong, spouses who have not apologized for their transgressions, spouses who are still very bullish about their wrongs and will do greater wrongs if given the opportunity. Yet we are supposed to forgive.” You see why it is a very difficult subject?

    Lack of forgiveness is the cause of many marital break ups. Forgiveness in marriage can be very easy and at the same time most difficult. It is easy because there is a bond, you have also taken vows of “for better, for worse,” “to love and to cherish” and “until death do us part.” If you take these vows seriously, you will overlook your spouse’s transgressions. When you truly love and care for somebody too, forgiving transgressions is easier. At the same time, forgiveness within marriage can be very difficult, because, like death, you feel more pain if it involves somebody close to you. Spousal betrayal or breach of trust can be very devastating and difficult to forgive. So all parties should be careful lest you fail.

    Communication is a compulsory course in the institution of marriage. I describe it as a livewire of marriage. No marriage can work without communication. But it is not just communication but empathic communication. Stephen Covey says, ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood.’ In other words, when discussing, your first duty is to understand what each of you is saying; where you are coming from. Having done that, you are in a better position to respond appropriately. This is not what happens in many marriages. In addition learn to talk less and listen more. Communication should also be real and appropriately timed. Non-verbal communication is as effective or devastating as verbal communication.

    Knowing your spouse is a paramount course. No one spouse can make a marriage successful without the input of the other spouse. Human beings are complex by nature and evolve over time. New circumstances throw up aspects of your spouse that you never knew existed, so knowing your spouse is a continuous study you must engage in, if not….

    There are many other important courses in the institution of marriage. Spending quality time together is important, but the task of providing for the family can become a stumbling block to spending quality time together, especially in the early stages of marriage. Conflict resolution is another very important course. Mutual respect is a core course. Companionship is the first reason for marriage and paramount course. There are many other courses including prayers. The number of courses you need to study and do well is one of the reasons why marriage is a difficult institution. Inevitably, you have to know your priorities and find out how to juggle your courses.

    One thing is clear; marriages pass or fail some of these courses in various degrees. Is there anything like electives in marriage? I am not sure. No marriage gets distinction in all courses, but you just keep studying and putting in on your best. Make improvements in your marriage one of your New Year resolutions in 2023. Happy New Year once more.

  • In Love, As in Football, Size Does Not Matter. Here’s Why – By Azu Ishiekwene

    In Love, As in Football, Size Does Not Matter. Here’s Why – By Azu Ishiekwene

    It’s a great time to be a football lover. It might not feel exactly so if your country is not one of the 32 taking part in the 22nd edition of the World Cup in Doha, Qatar. But being a fan means managing to love the game without having your dog in the fight.

    For example, Nigeria’s national team, the Super Eagles, won’t be in Qatar – the second time in eight years. But since the team crashed out to Ghana in February, fans have managed to reconcile with their misery, especially with forthcoming elections which essentially foist a choice between Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

    One month of jousting over which striker should have played in what position and who should have been benched is more useful for fans than listening to politicians promising heaven on earth without the remotest idea of how they plan to make it happen.

    With national pride at stake for some, big money and career for a few, a chance to stake a political claim for others, and yet others with nothing but the ephemeral joy of the moment to lose, Doha is the world’s most valuable, and for the price of $220 billion, perhaps the most expensive one-month distraction.

    At times like these, for Africans, either at home or in the Diaspora, the trend is to gravitate their passion and support to the participating countries representing the continent. Senegal, Ghana, Morocco, Tunisia and Cameroon would carry the continent’s flag, after favourites, Egypt and Nigeria had failed to qualify.

    In the history of the competition, only three African countries have made it to the quarter finals stage: Cameroon (Italia ’90), Senegal (Korea/Japan 2002), and Ghana (South Africa 2010), and only South Africa has been able to muster the resources to host the World Cup.

    No surprises, here though. Hosting the tournament has never been for the fainthearted. The 29-day tournament is costing the Kingdom of Qatar about 15 times the amount of Nigeria’s proposed 2023 budget and more than six times the proposed expenditure of N20.51 trillion.

    Only deep pocket economies like Qatar and others like it can fund the huge infrastructural developments and building of eight stadiums. One of them, the 60,000 capacity Al Bayt Stadium, is modelled on the traditional Arabian tent with a retractable roof.

    With the third highest human development index in the Arab world and the third highest gas reserves in the world, this tiny country of less than three million people is proving that some great things can be achieved not by size.

    And to think that its size is one the reasons former FIFA president Sepp Blatter feels Qatar doesn’t qualify as a World Cup host.

    But even if physical size is at issue, fiscal ability is the name of the game. And the young Arab sitting over this treasure trove has got more than enough cash to splash, host and entertain the rest of the world, represented by 32 national teams, many times over.

    Born in 1980, Qatari king, Sheikh Tamim ibn Hamad Al Thani, has built a reputation of attracting high profile global sporting events to the Arabian Peninsula state even before he ascended the throne in 2013, as part of his strategies to raise Qatar’s international profile.

    He also chaired the 2006 organising committee of the Asian Games.

    Due partly to his contributions, Qatar had also hosted the Asian Handball Championships in 2004, Asian Basketball Championships in 2005, and the UCI (Union Cycliste Internationale) World Cycling Championships in 2016. A bid to host the 2020 Summer Olympics had failed as Doha lost out to Tokyo, Japan.

    Coming after the world cup, are the 2024 Aquatic Championship in Doha and the Asian Games in 2030, also in Doha.

    The sheikhs are not only interested in developing a vibrant sports economy, their investments are spreading into the major football leagues of Europe as Qatar Sports Investments’ Nasser Al-Khelaifi owns Paris Saint Germain (PSG) – leading French club side and one of the richest clubs in football – with a net worth of $3.2billion, according to Forbes’ Soccer Team Valuations List.

    They reportedly own substantial shares in Portuguese and Belgian club sides as well. They also have substantial investments in what is arguably the world’s deadliest club side, Manchester City, and the latest sensation of the Premier League, New Castle.

    Qatar 2022 is the first time the senior World Cup will be held in the Middle East since its inception. The Qatari Kingdom had to face up to giant neighbours Saudi Arabi, alongside UAE, Egypt and Bahrain imposing an economic blockade that cost the tiny Gulf nation $43billion in losses, according to Al-Jazeera.

    In June 2017, the four states cut all diplomatic and trade ties with Qatar, accusing it of supporting “terrorism” and destabilising the region – allegations Doha denied. Qatar ramped up local production and established diplomatic relations with Iran to not only overcome the challenges of the siege, but manage declining oil revenues.

    In January 2021, Saudi Foreign Ministry announced that Egypt, Bahrain and the United Arab Emirates had resumed ties with Doha, during the 41st Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) summit, a reconciliation mediated by Kuwait.

    Blatter says Qatar 2022 was a “mistake”. Qatar was graded as having “high operational risk”, and generated much criticism as being part of the FIFA corruption scandals. Blatter’s “confessions” indicate that there was pressure from the French government under Nicholas Sarkozy and the connivance of former UEFA president, Michel Platini, to award hosting rights to Qatar.

    But the travails the world has gone through in the past few years are indicative that the choice of Qatar was probably right. Most rich Arab Gulf nations have been significantly insulated from the global economic shocks and the ravages of COVID-19.

    The global economic depression and the COVID-19 pandemic had left even the financial powerhouses of Europe gasping for air, with the Russian-Ukraine war delivering yet another power punch on the world’s cereals and grains powerhouse.

    Rising food and energy costs which have caused domestic unrest in many countries would have made the high costs of hosting the World Cup at this time a very difficult task for the United States, which, according to the former FIFA boss, should have been the host of the 2022 tournament, after Russia hosted the 2018 edition.

    Football pundits and insiders have always alleged insider manipulations and boardroom politics in the running of the international football federation, and it appears Blatter is bent on confirming it.

    These considerations may well be behind the reasons Africa, with 54 member states in FIFA, gets only five qualification slots for the World Cup.

    Yet, going by Blatter’s words, Europe which is comparatively smaller than Asia, Africa, north and south America has 13 slots for Qatar 2022.

    Blatter may be talking about hosting rights and not participation in the world cup, but the goose and gander deserve a fair shot at one of the world’s most popular sports.

    It doesn’t make sense that Europe with 55 members in FIFA, gets 13 slots, more than double that of Africa, which has only one number less in FIFA’s membership.

    As the games begin on Sunday, about 200,000 fans will be travelling to match venues in Qatar, while an estimated five billion fans would be watching around the world, including fans in Russia and Ukraine separated by a totally needless war.

    Football is a tribal game. Though money and politics have often competed to spoil and corrupt it, just as they have sometimes proved indispensable in its improvement, when all is said and done, the kindred spirit of the true fans prevails.

    And that is the promise of Qatar.

     

    Ishiekwene is Editor-In-Chief of LEADERSHIP

  • [Devotional] IN HIS PRESENCE: A more excellent way

    [Devotional] IN HIS PRESENCE: A more excellent way

    By Oke Chinye

    Read: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

    Meditation verse:

    “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is  love” (1 Corinthians 13:13).

    Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record  of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices  whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is  always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and  speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become  useless. But love will last forever” -1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NLT. 

    Genuine love is much more than a feeling, it is an action. It is a decision we make  to do good to someone even though we do not feel good towards that person.  Jesus did not say ‘like your enemies’, He said ‘love your enemies’. Even when  you dislike someone, you are commanded to love them. As Christians, loving  others is a command, not an option. “By this all will know that you are My  disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). 

    The knowledge that ‘love’ is a decision we make is life transforming. We can  separate how we feel from what we decide or choose to do. I can love someone  I don’t necessarily like. I can do something or act towards that person in a certain  way because I know it is what God expects of me as His child even if I don’t feel ‘lovey-dovey’ doing it.’ And guess what, when you keep acting in love towards  somebody, your emotions begin to line up with your actions. 

    Our thoughts affect our emotions, our emotions affect our actions, and our  actions again affect our thoughts. Go ahead and try it, keep acting in love  towards that spouse, neighbour, or colleague that you think you cannot stand  and see if your feelings towards them would not change. “And now abide faith,  hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love”. Choose the more  excellent way this year.

     

    IN HIS PRESENCE is written by Pst (Mrs) Oke Chinye, Founder of The Rock Teaching Ministry (TRTM).

    For Prayers and Counseling email rockteachingministry@gmail.com

    or call +2348155525555

    For more enquiries, visit: www.rockteachingministry.org.

  • Re: Divorce – By Francis Ewherido

    Re: Divorce – By Francis Ewherido

    By Francis Ewherido

    I am taking the topic, divorce, today from the Christian perspective. Divorce is not one of the topics I enjoy writing about. I have quite a number of people close to me who are involved. I know their cases first hand and I really empathise with them. I used to believe and I still believe in the indissolubility of Christian marriages. Every divorce diminishes the institution of marriage and makes humanity poorer. But as I grow older and get more involved in marriage counselling, I have had to ask some questions. Today’s article, which is partly reactions to my article of August 6, 2022, has nothing to do with those people going into Christian marriage without knowing what it’s really is and those leaving marriage due to flimsy excuses. I believe that once you get married, only death should do you part. This is biblical (Genesis 24, Luke 16:18, 1 Peter 3:1, Genesis 2:24, Matthew 5:31-32, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18).

    Now question time. I have issues I want us to discuss. The foundation of marriage is love. In the last four or five weeks, a jealous wife burnt her husband to death. A man also killed his wife. In these cases, there were fears that there could be fatalities in the marriages, but they were ignored. Should these marriages have been allowed to continue because “for better, for worse?” I Corinthians 13: 4- 13 says “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” This passage encompasses the essence of love. Where in this passage encourages killing of spouses or domestic violence? If it does not, why should such spouses be allowed to remain married? If it is obvious to you that your sister, brother, daughter, son and any loved would be killed by her/his spouse, will you allow her/him to remain in the marriage. Sometimes it is easy to quote the bible. For once, empathise and put yourself in the other person’s position. For me, my personal policy on domestic violence is zero tolerance. Once it gets to a point where you have to harm or kill your spouse, the marriage has lost its saltiness and should be thrown away as far I am concerned. Ultimately, the decision rests with the one whose life is endangered. But let me quickly add that some people are so dumb and blind that they need to be saved from themselves.

    My second point is marriage based on deceit. Marriage is not built on buyers beware, but utmost good faith. It is like insurance “a buyer of the insurance product (the insured) has a responsibility to disclose to the insurance company (the underwriter) any information that aggravates or alters the usual nature of the risk the company is about to assume (underwrite).

    Also during courtship, parties should disclose fully any condition that will make the other party have a second thought about continuing with the relationship.” Such material facts include: infertility, impotency, compromised womb due to infection or abortion, terminal ailment, financial hole (debt) such as to affect their finances gravely after marriage, using a falsified age, ex-convict status, previous marriage or children from previous liaisons, sex change ( you think you are marrying a woman, not knowing that you are getting married to a fellow man.

    Such acts create grounds for annulment of the marriage in denominations like the Catholic Church. Annulment is the doctrine that the marriage or consent of one party was based on falsehood; therefore the marriage is not valid. Some Christians criticize the Catholic Church that they are smuggling divorce into Christian marriage. The critics should tell us the solution to a marriage that was fraudulently contracted.

    Then I add, some women marry a man just to father their children, once they get the children they want, they abandon the marriage. Some men also do the same thing. This is also fraud. What should the defrauded spouse do? Remain unmarried because he/she was scammed into marriage? What about a spouse who abandoned his or her marriage and went to marry another person? One of the marital vows is “for better for worse. Does it apply here when the spouse you exchanged vows with has moved on and married someone else?”

    Talking about marital vows, let me delve in a little and throw more light. I hear girls proclaim on social media that they “can’t marry a broke man.” Please don’t because once you vow to marry him “for richer, for poorer,” you are obliged to keep your vow. So since you are not wise enough to realize that many billionaires and millionaires today were paupers when they got married, wait for a rich man to marry.

    “In sickness and in health.” Many of these frail looking men and women you see were very strong and fit in their early days. There  is no way they would have known that they would be beset by debilitating conditions later in life, so have it in mind before saying “in sickness and in health.” Be ready to stick to him/her if you find your spouse in that situation.

    “Till death do us part.” I have been married for almost 25 years. Others have been married for 50 years and still counting. It is easy to live with the good attributes of your spouse, but living with the bad and the ugly attributes can be nightmarish. I wrote in my book, Life Lessons from Mudipapa, that marriage is a bed of roses. Roses are sweet-smelling, but come with vicious prickles. So you need to be very careful, otherwise, what you will experience are prickles, not the sweet smell of the roses.

    Christian marriage is not prosperity gospel that some preachers portray it. Like Jesus, you might drink fine wine, dine with the mighty. But there is also a cross which you must bear. If you have issues with that, keep away from going into a Christian marriage. But welcome if you are ready for the grind and glamour.

  • Why I am still single – DJ Cuppy

    Why I am still single – DJ Cuppy

    Florence Ifeoluwa Otedola, popularly known as DJ Cuppy, billionaire daughter of Femi Otedola has opened up on why she is still single.

    TheNewsGuru.com (TNG) reports DJ Cuppy, whose sister, Temi has found love in Leg Over crooner, Mr Eazi, to have said she was yet to find a partner that compliments her.

    DJ Cuppy disclosed that she needs a partner that can push her and is also better at some things than her so they can inspire her to improve herself.

    “I really think I have to find a partner that compliments me but still pushes me and is also better at some things than I am. So they can inspire me to improve myself as a person…Hence I’m still single,” she wrote.

    In February, DJ Cuppy reached out to her long-term admirer on Twitter known as Lerry Asiwaju. Asiwaju never passed off an opportunity to express his interest in DJ Cuppy and has been shooting his shot at her always.

    DJ Cuppy asked Asiwaju to be her Valentine and asked him to go on a virtual date with her on Valentine’s day. Nothing was heard about them thereafter.

  • ‘I should show people more love’ – Burna Boy reflects on Sound Sultan’s death

    ‘I should show people more love’ – Burna Boy reflects on Sound Sultan’s death

    Nigerian music sensation, Burna Boy has reflected on the death of late veteran singer, Sound Sultan, saying he needs to show people more love while they are still alive.

    The Grammy-award winning singer said this on the last track of his new album ‘Love, Damini’.

    Excerpts from the song read: “I should have talked to grandaddy before it’s too late.

    “I should have talked to Sound Sultan more before he died. I should show people more love while they are still alive.

    “I should always know the way my people feel inside.

    “I’m trying to be a better man, I’ve been trying, I got it all but I still got my anger.”

    Sound Sultan popularly known for his hit song ‘jagbajantis’ released in 2000 was confirmed dead on July 11, 2021, after battling throat cancer.

     

  • [Devotional] IN HIS PRESENCE: The reckless love of the father

    [Devotional] IN HIS PRESENCE: The reckless love of the father

    By Oke Chinye

    Read: Luke 15:1-31

    Meditation verse:

    “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not  leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until  he finds it?” (Luke 15:4).

    The ‘one’ is important to God. That unsaved one. That lost one. That forgotten  one. That lonely one. That one who feels different from everyone else. This‘one’  is so important to the Father, that He leaves the ninety-nine to go after him. To  man, it makes no sense. It seems a bad move. What if He loses the ninety-nine  in His bid to go after the ‘one’? But He is the Almighty God, He knows that His  love is wide enough to cover the ninety-nine, while He goes after the lost one.

    The lost one is most at risk because he is alone, forgotten, and forsaken, so the  Father goes after him until He finds him. Gospel singer Cory Ashbury calls this  love of God ‘reckless love’. And he says no, God is not reckless, but His love is  reckless. He loves recklessly without considering the risks. “For God so loved the  world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should  not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16)).

    In Luke 15:1-2, the tax collectors and sinners all gathered around to hear Jesus.  But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes  sinners and eats with them. That’s the reckless love of the father. In Luke 19, as  Jesus was passing through Jericho, He got to a fig tree and looked up to call out

    Zacchaeus the tax collector, who had climbed the tree because he was too short  to see Jesus amongst the crowd. That is the reckless love of the Father. In the  parable of the prodigal son, the lost son wandered far away and squandered his  riches, but when he came back to his senses and decided to go back home, he  was welcomed back with open arms. That is the reckless love of the Father.

    The love of God is always searching for that one person who feels alone,  different, lonely, abandoned, sinful, afraid, or forgotten. No matter what you  have done or where you have been, His reckless love will fish you out. Why not  receive that love today?

     

    IN HIS PRESENCE is written by Dcns Oke Chinye, Founder of The Rock Teaching Ministry (TRTM).

    For Prayers and Counseling email rockteachingministry@gmail.com

    or call +2348155525555

    For more enquiries, visit: www.rockteachingministry.org.

  • Some YouTubers with sterile contents – By Francis Ewherido

    Some YouTubers with sterile contents – By Francis Ewherido

    By Francis Ehwerido

    I have been going to YouTube, specifically African YouTube channels, for a while now. I started with wildlife channels before adding travel channels and others. Initially, I really enjoyed the experience because it opened my eyes to the developments taking place in the rest of Africa. But since some people, especially young and inexperienced African YouTubers without, set goals and knowledge of mass media ethics saw YouTube as an opportunity to earn a living entered the YouTube space, I have been put me off. The one that really got me pissed off and made my anger to boil over is the one I stumbled on with the topic: “Can a Nigerian marry or date a Ghanaian?” What a dumb question? Before independence Ghanaians and Nigerians were already getting married to one another. One of the happiest couples I have met is a Ghanaian man and a Nigerian woman. Marriage is essentially about the people involved. Culture can be a factor, but the critical factor is the couple, especially if they understand marriage for what it is: companionship.

    If two blind folded people were to have sex, for instance, without uttering a word, which will reveal their accent, can they tell from the feel of  the vagina or the penis their nationality, race or ethnicity? It is pre-existing biases and beliefs that colour or poison people’s minds. Notwithstanding, love conquers all. Love is mysterious, once two souls connect genuinely, ethnicity or nationality take the back seat. That is why, interethnic, interracial and marriages across national borders endure.

    Apart from the above topic, there is the obsession and continuous comparism of Nigeria and Ghana. Both countries have had a long time healthy rivalry in football, a sport where 11 players are pitched against each other. This makes comparism easy. Older Nigerians will never forget the heartbreak that Abedi Pele, the great Ghanaian and African player caused Nigerians. He played a major role each time the Black Stars of Ghana defeated the Green Eagles (as the Super Eagles were called then). The Green Eagles had great players, but Abedi Pele was exceptional

    I see the comparism Nigeria jollof and Ghana jollof rice as fun, but the truth is, a great Nigerian cook will give you delicious jollof rice  while a lousy Nigerian cook will give you jollof rice that taste like paper. The same applies to Ghana. So, there is no rivalry there; it is just fun.

    I was trained in journalism when the only mass media were print and electronic. They still remain the most reliable media to date.  So I decided to go there and verify the so called intense rivalry between Nigeria and Ghana, as the YouTubers portray. In the Nigerian Newspapers, there is scarcely any news on Ghana. I only saw one two-paragraph story on four Ghanaians resident in Nigeria, who were involved in some infractions. Nigeria has enough internal issues to fill the newspapers of Nigeria. The last time news on Ghana featured prominently in Nigerian newspapers was when the Black Stars nicked Super Eagles to the 2022 World Cup ticket.

    The expulsion of Nigerians from Ghana in 1969 and Ghanaians from Nigeria in 1982 has nothing to do with rivalry. As far as I am concerned, it is due to the inexperience and wrong sense of judgement by the leadership of both countries at that time. Do not forget that these leaders were very young then. I do acknowledge that the experience might have left a bitter taste, especially in the mouths of those who were affected. I recall my friend telling me how his father who was very rich in Ghana came back to Nigeria to start life all over again. The same story probably reverberates with some people in Ghana

    Some Nigerians refer to Ghana as “ordinary Ghana” sometimes which Ghanaians find very upsetting. Ghanaians, on the other hand, never fail to remind Nigerians of how peaceful Ghana is and their more stable electricity. They also taunt Nigerians about instability, erratic power supply, frequent disruption in school calendar and fraudsters.  In truth, many Nigerians have left Nigeria for Europe and other countries in Africa, including Ghana, for further education due to frequent strikes. The erratic supply in Nigeria is a fact, but the truth is there no black African country enjoys uninterrupted electricity supply like we have in Europe and that should be every country’s target, not just stable power supply.

    Some young Nigerians are involved in criminal activities in Ghana. This is making many Ghanaians angry. That is understandable, but they have laws to take care of that problem. There are a few reasons why young Nigerians go to Ghana. One, they talk about the peace and security in Ghana. Two, young Nigerians have herd mentality. Some youngsters disappear from Nigeria and reappear after a while. They have become very rich overnight. What did they do to make money? Nobody, including some parents, is interested. Rather peers just want to go Ghana and “blow.” It is later you will hear rumours that they did rituals and internet fraud.

    I do not want to go into entertainment because Ghanaians who are the gurus in that sector acknowledge Nigerians dominance in music, comedy, films, etc. Nigeria is undisputed entertainment hub in Africa. These young Nigerians have gone beyond Africa to the global scene and are making waves.

    So, which rivalry are these YouTubers hyping? I studied mass communication and decided to go to the traditional media and verify the rivalry. There is not much Ghanaian news in Nigeria’s newspapers and electronic media. I have never been to Ghana so I went online to see their newspapers. The stories on all the front pages of all the newspapers I saw were issues concerning Ghana. The only Nigeria-related stories I saw, and not even on the front page, were on one Nigerian cross dresser who recently opened a multi-million naira house and three Nigerians arrested for allegedly involvement in internet fraud.

    I also watched a few television programmes on Ghana television stations. On entertainment, some downplay the giant strides Nigeria has made in entertainment, while others readily acknowledge it and advise Ghanaian entertainers to find out what Nigeria is doing right. Generally, they are not happy about the state of the Ghana entertainment industry. That is fair enough. So where did all these YouTubers get this the rivalry from? They are just trying to get more subscribers and drive traffic to their channels. Unfortunately, they are also irritating some readers/viewers.

    Personally, I want to see the growth and development in other African countries, not non-existent rivalry. I want every African country to grow so that Africa can be like Europe. How does the non-development of other African countries help Nigeria? These ill-trained YouTubers should the study other successful YouTubers on how to be successful. They should come up with irresistible contents and not promoting hate and non-existent rivalry. Also, Nigerian YouTubers based outside Nigeria, should leave Nigerians at home alone, and just enjoy their lives wherever they are, while we grapple with our challenges and look for solutions, we are tired of noisemakers; what we need are solution providers, not people who devalue us in their countries of abode. If you cannot add value, leave us alone.