By Francis Ewerido
One of the features of news, we were taught in school, is oddity. In illustrating it, the commonest example then was: when a dog bites a man, it is no news, because it happens every day.
But when a man bites a dog, it is news, because it is rare and unusual. It is no longer news that many older men marry much younger women. The difference in age can range from an innocuous 15 years to an outrageous 60 years.
Yet, it is still no news. But when news filtered in that the man who could become the next president of France, Emmanuel Macron, is 39 years and his wife, Brigitte Trogneux, is 64 years, the social media went into frenzy. A particular slant of the story was sent to me over 20 times on WhatsApp and other social media platforms. It was a classical case of a man biting a dog, even by the liberal and “civilized” Western standards.
According to the story Macron started having a crush on his former teacher, Trogneux, when he was 15 years and clearly a minor. By the time he was 17 years and still a minor, he vowed to marry Trogneux. Macron’s father was not amused at all about the relationship and told Trogneux to hands off his son until he was at least 18 years and in a legal position to take such weighty decisions.
That decision he took in 2007, when he married Trogneux at the age of 29. Trogneux was 54 years then and had divorced her former husband. But the relationship goes way back. Exactly when, the incoming first lady says, “Nobody will ever know at what moment our story became a love story.
That belongs to us. That is our secret.” But do not rule out the possibility that it started while Macron was still a minor or when Trogneux was still married to the father of her three children, in which case it would be paedophilia, or adultery, or both. When it comes to matters of the heart, anything is possible; emotions take the central stage, while rationality recedes.
The relationship did ruffle feathers at the initial stages. Both families were ill at ease and took time to accept the inevitable reality. Lover Boy Macron did something gentlemanly though, before going ahead with the marriage; he sought and got the consent of Trogneux’s three grown up children. A part of the larger society were, however, not so welcoming; they made snide remarks and gave them hostile looks in public.
Since the news broke out, younger generations of Nigerians have also latched on to it for different reasons. They are complaining that their contemporary in France is about to become president, while some of them are still staying with their parents.
They haul abuses at the older generation for clinging on to political power. I did remind some of them that the minimum constitutional age for a president in Nigeria is 40; just a year above Macron’s 39 years and in a free country like ours, nobody and nothing stops those who are eligible from contesting. Even though I am enamoured by men dating or marrying much older women (as a bachelor I knew I would never marry an older woman), there are a few things to be learnt from Macron’s love story,
Macron, at 15, had a crush on his teacher and followed it up with a vow at 17 years to marry her and it came to pass 12 years later. Macron is focused, single-minded, tenacious and knows what he wants. Many of today’s youths have no focus. They do not know what they want from life and so life throws whatever it likes at them.
Macron is also a patient bird. Many of today’s youths have no patience, they want instant wealth, instant fame, instant “success,” whatever success means to them. Visit any betting shop and you have an idea of what I mean. They want to “hammer” overnight without systems and processes. Many older artisans cannot get young apprentices to train. It is too much time for young men to learn tailoring, electrical works, vehicle repairs, etc. They would rather be bus conductors, commercial vehicle drivers and Motor Park touts so that they can make instant money. Delayed gratification is becoming a relic where they are.
Many young Nigerians do not challenge the political order they claim is keeping them down. They collect N1,000 during elections and vote the wrong people thereby mortgaging their future. They are the thugs and election riggers used to perpetuate the old order. Macron challenged the old order and is on the verge of becoming the next president of France. Whatever misgivings you have about Macron, you have to give to him; the young man knows what he wants.
Predictably, a section of women are very happy. They said it is not only men who know how to enjoy younger blood, the women also do. As if it is new. We know that many young men in their 20s currently “service” much older women, some of them old enough to be their grandmothers.
It is just that they have not had the courage, like Macron and Trogneux, to formalize the liaison; while some are into it strictly for the sex (the mamas) and others strictly for the money, connections and probably the free sex ( the young men). We have also seen some young Nigerians marry much older American and European women, but that is for citizenship, unlike Macron whose marriage oozes love all the way.
Funny enough, some of the women applauding Macron and Trogneux vowed not to allow their sons go into this kind of marriage. In a culture where procreation takes precedence over companionship in marriage, it is not surprising. But it also shows the hypocrisy and selfishness of humankind.
As long as it is somebody else’s head being used to break coconut, it is okay. These women should just pray that Macron’s kind of love bug does not bite their sons. If it does, they would have to accept reality like Macron’s parents or die of high blood pressure. I hope not, though.
The only other little matter that troubled me was Trogneux’ husband; what does it feel like to have one small boy steal your wife’s heart first and subsequently take possession of her? It must be a very humiliating and traumatizing experience.
But then, we have had worse cases here; young men, who stole their fathers’ younger wives and concubines. Sometimes, these matters of the heart look like some prides of lions’ meal time: No rules, no regulations, no orderliness.
