TheNewsGuru

Tag: Marriage

  • Mother in-law’s overbearing influence tears 10-year-old marriage apart

    Mother in-law’s overbearing influence tears 10-year-old marriage apart

    A Mapo Grade A Customary Court in Ibadan has dissolved a marriage of 10 years on grounds of the alleged overbearing influence of the husband’s mother on the union.

    The petitiner, Mrs Abibat Oladimeji had approached the court seeking the dissolution of her marriage to her estranged husband, Mr Nurudeen Oladimeji.

    Delivering judgment on the matter, the President of the court, Mrs S.M. Akintayo held that the marriage had broken down irretrievably because the petitioner’s love  for her husband had died.

    Akintayo said that the fact that the petitioner had moved out of the respondent’s home due to the discomfort she had suffered worsened the matter.

    “The court cannot force the petitioner to change her decision; so, the marriage between the petitioner and the respondent has ceased to be henceforth,” the court’s president said.

    She granted an order restraining Nurudeen from harassing, threatening and interfering with the private life of Abibat

    Also, the court awarded custody of the two children in the union, being five and 10 years respectively, to the petitioner.

    Earlier, Abibat, a trader, stated that she made up her mind to call it quits with her husband because life was no longer the same staying under the same roof with Nurudeen.

    She further alleged that Nurudeen’s mother kept influencing him in taking decisions with negative consequences on her and the children.

    “My lord, despite being the second wife, I was the one that provided the money which Nurudeen used in building the house, but he no longer show me the initial love and care.

    “When I reported his misbehaviour to his mother, nothing positive came out of it.

    “After I moved out of the house, I expected Nurudeen to come to my parents for settlement, but he bluntly refused a peace deal, ” she said.

    In his own testimony, Nurudeen contended that his wife was unrully and consistently disobeyed him.

    “Abibat has refused to obey any of my instructions.

    “However, I don’t wish to part ways with her, help me to pacify her to remain with me,” Nurudeen prayed the court.

  • My co-wives, sons, exclude me from late husband’s property – Third wife laments

    My co-wives, sons, exclude me from late husband’s property – Third wife laments

    The Family Law Centre in Abakaliki, Ebonyi, has issued an order restraining the family of late Mr Okorie Nwachukwu from alleged attacks on his third wife, Blessing, over property dispute.

    The Chairperson of the centre, Mrs Elizabeth Nwali gave the order on Friday during hearing on an alleged land dispute at Amikeaba in Ebonyi Local Government Area of the state.

    She cautioned the first and second wives, Ngozi and Nkechi as well as other members of the family against further abuse against Blessing pending the outcome of their case in the center.

    Nwali said that the action was to allow  investigations and to resolve the matter that had resulted to assault, threat to life and sale of ‘Ozor ulo’ (portion of a house from their husband).

    Earlier, Blessing in a local dialect, told the centre that she was the third wife to the deceased and was legally married with three children.

    She alleged that a portion of land given to her by her late husband was taken away, with part of the land being sold.

    “Others were used for farming by Onyebuchi Nwachukwu, first son to the deceased and his wife,” she said.

    According to Blessing, she was beaten, thrown stones and threatened by her co wives and their children especially Onyebuchi.

    “My co- wives and their children are my oppressors.

    “Whenever I ask Onyebuchi concerning the property, he slaps and threatens to kill me.

    “They seized the 14 rooms home of my late husband, collected rent and shared the money among the two wives without including me,” Blessing added.

    She appealed to the centre to compel the accused to treat her of injuries incurred from their maltreatment.

    She also said that the accused must sign an undertaking and share her late husband’s property to include 14 rooms, empty land among others.

    The third wife also urged the centre to caution them not to sell her ozoulo’ portion of land.

    In his defence, Mr Onyebuchi Nwachukwu, the accused and first son to the deceased, claimed that he never maltreated her as alleged.

    On his part, Mr Silas Nwachukwu, younger brother to the deceased, explained how the 14 rooms apartment was shared among the three wives of his late brother.

    According to him, the first wife got three rooms; the second wife with three sons got four rooms; while Blessing, the third wife got three rooms as well.

    Nwachukwu added that N200, 000 and a flat each was handed over to the three women.

    He said that another 40 inches of land at the backyard of her three rooms apartment was given to her, verify all these, ” he said.

    While addressing the matter, the chairperson warned the respondents to stop any form of violence against the woman. She said that the centre would visit the family before the next hearing for final resolution.

  • Lagos Assembly moves to regulate marriages

    Lagos Assembly moves to regulate marriages

    The Lagos State House of Assembly has proposed a bill to streamline marriage documentation and ensure proper records for marriages and dissolutions across the state.

    During Thursday’s plenary, Speaker Mudashiru Obasa disclosed this at the Second Reading of the Marriage and Dissolutions (Except Marriages under the Marriage Act) (Registration) Bill, 2025.

    Obasa stressed the importance of continually making laws that protect both spouses and children in marriage arrangements.

    He said the bill is titled: ‘A Bill for a Law to Provide for the Registration of Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage (Except Marriage under the Act) in Lagos State and for Other Connected Matters’.

    Obasa then referred the bill to the Committee on Judiciary, Human Rights, Public Petitions and LASIEC for further legislative scrutiny.

    Explaining the bill earlier, Mr Oladipo Ajomale, Chairman, House Committee on Judiciary, said many marriage-related legal issues stem from unclear documentation.

    Ajomale (Oshodi-Isolo II) said: “If passed, this bill will simplify legal procedures related to marriage registration and dissolution in the state.”

    He added that it would assist embassies and foreign missions in verifying marital status during visa applications.

    Ajomale also noted the bill would ensure uniform marriage records across the IBILE division — Ikorodu, Badagry, Ikeja, Lagos Island, and Epe.

    Mr Abiodun Tobun (Epe I) described the bill as a progressive step aligned with modern standards of marriage regulation.

    Tobun noted that the bill would clarify the rights of both husband and wife under customary marriage.

    He said the law empowers partners to enter and exit marriages within the boundaries of legality.

    However, he raised concerns about people who meddle in marriage proceedings and urged the inclusion of penalties for such interference.

    Mr Solomon Bonu (Badagry I) emphasised the need for a proper database, aligning the state with global marriage registration standards.

    Bonu said any dissolution of marriage must be sanctioned by a court to ensure legality and fairness.

    He also suggested penalties for single mothers who exit marriages without legal recourse and husbands who shirk marital duties.

    Mr Moshood Aro (Ikorodu II) remarked that the bill would give clearer legal structure to male responsibilities in marriage.

    Aro also proposed that the law should permit distance marriages through established legal means, including cross-border unions.

    Ms Omolara Olumegbon (Lagos Island I) highlighted the importance of child welfare in marital laws and urged provisions for full child support.

    She said this was especially needed in broken marriages to ensure minors are properly cared for under the law.

  • Schoolboy errors by spouses-to-be – By Francis Ewherido

    Schoolboy errors by spouses-to-be – By Francis Ewherido

    Recently, I heard some very touching stories about new marriages, some less than six months, running into troubled waters or crashing. Apparently, these young couples have made or are making some elementary mistakes. When this column started about 10 years ago, we touched on some of these errors, but we have a new audience of newlyweds or about-to-wed. Today, I want to revisit some of these school boy errors.

    Do you know the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with? Let us not kid ourselves, you cannot totally know anyone, not even yourself. Circumstances bring forth aspects of people, including yourself, that you never knew existed. “But as the saying goes, “the journey of a 1000 miles begins with a step.” So know enough about the person you want to marry before you dive with him/her into that shark-infested water called marriage. If you do, you will acquire the skills of avoiding many of these sharks (not all o!) roaming in the marital water. Trust me, I have been in this water for 26 years and I am into my 27th year. I love the water, but you can’t let down your guards.

    Next, this is not for everyone, but for those of us who believe in God. It is important you involve God in this treacherous journey called matrimony. First seek the guidance of God before embarking on the journey of getting a spouse. The next phase is courtship or dating, two of the most misunderstood words in relationship. There are many definitions, but I still prefer the ones I quoted in my book, Life Lessons from Mudipapa: The Institute in Basic Life Principles, refers to courtship as: “a relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other.” If it this will of God, the gates of hell cannot prevail against your marriage.

    For those who do not believe in God, let us just say courtship is that traditional period before engagement and marriage when intending couples date to get to know each other and decide if they should go ahead with the relationship. Courtship may include social activities undertaken by two persons (male and female) with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a life partner. The big question is what are the activities you engage in? Do they help you to know the other person better as truly as he/she is or the activities blur your vision Unfortunately, some of these activities that blur your vision are ephemeral and not long lasting factors like core values, character, friendship, etc. Then after marriage, you begin to sing, “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone…” Johnny Nash released this song in 1972 to express a sense of clarity and optimism after a difficult period. Your own case shouldn’t be the reverse. Know your priorities. A stick you ought to see shouldn’t pierce your eye.

    I asked one of my young friends, whether he met his wife’s family before marriage. “Not really, until the day of the introduction.” That is a fatal flaw. You should know as much as possible about the family you are marrying into or from. It is nothing new. Our forebears did it. They investigated families before allowing their sons/daughters to proceed with the marriage. In this century, you want to jettison this very effective tradition? Interacting with his/her family should help you in deciding whether to continue with the courtship or end the relationship. Your family backgrounds are different. You will see things you love and others that you hate, you will see normal and weird stuff; you will get to know the environment where your potential spouse was formed. If he /she gets along his/her parents, but you resent the parents’ characters, that is a dangerous signal. But if he/she disagrees with certain behavioral patterns of the parents which also rankle you, that is an encouraging sign. Interact with the family you are marrying into or from.

    The next matter is sex in marriage. God created sex to enable couples procreate and enjoy. It is an inexplicable bond. You cannot divorce sex from marriage. In fact, a marriage is not valid until it is consummated, that it, the husband inserts his penis into the wife’s vagina in what we call sex. Sex is that important in marriage. But I get worried by the obsession of young people with sex. On Facebook posts, all I see among young people is gbenching (having sex). Marriage is much more than gbenching. Those of you who have been married for five to 10 years, how far with gbenching? It is still very normal, abi? No problem, the blood is still very hot. Continue, but I hope school fees, upkeep money, quarrels and other factors that go with marriage are not affecting your appetite for gbenching?

    Please continue with your gbenching, but just in case no one told you, by the time you get to your mid-50s and above, distractions of life, age and health challenges like high blood pressure, heart condition, diabetes, etc., will begin to interfere with your gbenching ability. Even seemingly innocuous arthritis is not left out! What has arthritis got to do with gbenching? There is this married woman who enjoys gbenching within her marriage o! Now, she is dealing with serious arthritis. She can’t do all those many styles she used to enjoy. Even missionary position has become an arduous task. When I attacked people who claim to have a cure for arthritis two weeks ago, you now partly understand where I was coming from. Her robust sex life has been ruined by arthritis. But thank God for her supportive and understanding husband.

    There is still so much to talk about as far as schoolboy errors are concerned, but let me mention this because it is one of the problems currently ruining a marriage of less than six months. I am a firm believer that once people are married, they should be given their space to build their marriage. There should be no intrusion as long as there is no threat to life. Family involvement should only take place during courtship. Marriage gives birth to a new family. Parents, family members and friends should allow their newly wedded be. Away with your interference. Even intervention should be restricted to critical situations where one or both lives are at stake.

    Finally, I advise women, if you cannot respect a man in good and bad times, when he is up or down, do not marry him. Of the things that bring out the beast in men, kills men physically and emotionally, none compares to disrespect from a wife. Men have killed their wives due to disrespect, men have also died due to disrespect. If you can’t respect a man leave him alone. Apostle Paul also admonishes men to love their wives. Personally, I feel love and respect should be mutual in marriage. You can’t love a spouse you do not respect. Young people, please look well before you dive into marriage. If not, you will dive a rock.

  • Separate us before my wife kills me – Man begs court

    Separate us before my wife kills me – Man begs court

    A trader, Adesina Adeagbo, has pleaded with the Mapo Grade ‘A’ Customary Court, Ibadan, to end his 23-year-old marriage to prevent his wife from eventually killing him.

    Adeagbo, a resident of Idi-Osan, Akanran area of Ibadan, told the court on Thursday that his wife, Adeola, was too troublesome to be loved.

    He said he had thought it over and concluded that the best thing to do to keep staying alive was to call it quits with his wife.

    He also alleged that his wife had started instigating the children against him.

    “Ever since Adeola and I started our lives as husband and wife in 2002, I have not known peace; it has been one day, one problem.

    “Immediately we got married, I rented an apartment for her, but she fought with all her co-tenants. At the Olodo apartment, she fought the landlady, and she was sent packing.

    “Similarly, at her apartment at Boluwaji area, she was given a quit notice for fighting the house owner and her co-tenants,” he said.

    He added that when his wife relocated to another rented apartment in Muslim area, she and the children fought with other tenants, leading to their eviction.

    “Furthermore, I got another house at Orita-Merin, where she exhibited the same character, until she was ordered to move out.

    “I then moved Adeola and our three children into my house at Idiose, but her behaviour did not change,” he said.

    He alleged that their first child attempted to break a bottle on his head on March 31, 2024, but that he escaped by God’s grace and through the help of his friends.

    According to him, he has suffered several health challenges, including a partial stroke as a result of his wife’s frequent troublemaking.

    Adeola did not refute any of the claims preferred against her by Adeagbo. Subsequently, the court president, Mrs O.E. Owoseni, adjourned the suit to July 31 for further hearing.

  • Housewife stabs co-wife to death in Katsina

    Housewife stabs co-wife to death in Katsina

    The Katsina State Police Command has apprehended a 23-year-old housewife, Rabi’a Labaran, for allegedly killing her co-wife in Daura local government area.

    The Command’s Public Relations Officer (PPRO) DSP Abubakar Aliyu, made this known  in a statement, on Sunday in Katsina.

    He said that the tragic incident occurred behind Dadi Primary School, Sabon Gari in Daura town, when a domestic dispute between the co-wives was suspected to have escalated into a fatal confrontation.

    The PPRO disclosed that on May 24, at about 11p.m., their husband, one Nasir Yusuf, reported to the Sabon Gari Division that he had returned home from the market and found his first wife, named Zainab Lawal, lying in a pool of blood.

    “She had been stabbed multiple times with a knife. Upon receiving the report, the DPO led a team of operatives to the scene and subsequently rushed the victim to Federal Medical Centre, Daura, for medical attention, where she was pronounced dead by the doctor on duty.”

    Aliyu said that, during the investigation, her co-wife, one Rabi’a Labaran was arrested in connection with the offence.

    He said that the suspect confessed to the commission of the offence, stating that a misunderstanding with the deceased led to a scuffle and the tragic incident.

    The Commissioner of Police, Mr Bello Shehu, urged the public to shun all acts of domestic violence and refrain from taking law into their hands instead of seeking legal means for redress cases of disputes.

    He said that the suspect would be charged to court after completion of the investigation.

  • BLINDFOLD! Man pardons wife after being caught pants down with pastor, says she was possessed

    BLINDFOLD! Man pardons wife after being caught pants down with pastor, says she was possessed

    A man has forgiven his wife for cheating on him with their pastor.

    A Nigerian doctor, Stan, who shared the story said the man who happens to be a friend, had caught his wife having s3x with the pastor in their matrimonial home.

    According to Stan, the man claimed that something must have possessed his wife because she acted out of character.

    Finally, I woke up to a call today: “Hey man, all is good. Family got involved, and they are still at my house. As much as it hurts, I have to forgive. My wife didn’t know what came over her. Knowing who she is, I think something possessed her.” I was on the other end, asking, “Who made you stay?’ He replied, ‘My wife almost killed herself. I don’t want blood on my hands. Her family and mine begged me for hours into the next morning. If God can forgive, who am I to hold a grudge?” When he said this, I remembered Alozie, who was helped by John Doe and Ashkrine over something closely related. He’s made his choice, and he is not mad at me. I’m going to have to pray for him. “He who chooses his wife chooses his destiny,” he wrote.

  • Marriage proposals overwhelm Makinwa after confessing she desperately needs husband

    Marriage proposals overwhelm Makinwa after confessing she desperately needs husband

    Nigerian radio personality, Toke Makinwa has disclosed that she has received marriage proposals from interested suitors, shortly after publicly expressing her openness to remarrying, even as a second or third wife.

    The media personality had gone viral during an interview on her podcast, tokemoments where she spoke candidly about her evolving views on marriage and her willingness to get married again, even as a second, third, or fifth wife.

    In all honesty, at this point in my life, if I have the opportunity to be the second, third, fourth, or fifth wife, I will take it,” Toke said during the podcast.

    Explaining the reason behind her change in perspective, Makinwa said, “I am the boss everywhere and that could be tiring. You feel like you need someone to lean on—someone that could decide what’s for dinner. Must it be me?”

    Following the release of the podcast episode, which quickly gained traction on social media, the media personality took to her platform to share a screenshot of her inbox, revealing several messages from men expressing a desire to marry her.

    One of the emails, which she highlighted, read, “GOAL: Can we get married? – proposes marriage, based in Ibadan, works as senior data analyst.”

    The development has stirred conversation online, with members of the public reacting with a mix of amusement, curiosity, and support for her candid remarks.

    While some were surprised by how swiftly admirers responded, others commended her honesty in speaking about the pressures of independence and modern relationships.

  • My husband usually had sex with me from midnight till morning; I need divorce – Woman tells court

    My husband usually had sex with me from midnight till morning; I need divorce – Woman tells court

    A 37-year-old woman, Linda Stephen, on Tuesday approached a Kaduna Customary Court, seeking the dissolution of her six years old marriage over excessive sex by her husband, Felix Stephen.

    In her petition, Mrs Stephen, a resident of Ungwan Sunday in Kaduna, also accused her husband of beating her whenever she rejected his sexual advances.

    She told the court that she was no longer interested in the marriage as she can no longer cope with the husband’s excessive demand for sex.

    “I urge the court to dissolve this marriage because I can’t stand his excessive sexual urge; he likes sex too much and I can’t bear it.

    “Most times, he would have sex with me from midnight till early hours of the morning; even when I am crying, he will not stop.

    “It has been three months since I moved out of his house, his relatives have been pleading with me to go back to him, but they do not know what I am facing,” she said.

    She further said that her husband does not control himself whenever he needed sex, and that whenever she refused his sexual advances, he would beat her up, even in front of their two kids.

    Stephen, in his response, told the court that he is in love with his wife.

    He pleaded with the court to help him pacify her, and not to grant her wish.

    Stephen said he had been pleading with her wife not to seek for divorce, as he was now ready to control his sexual urge.

    “I took my uncles and friends to her parents house to plead with her, but she refused to listen to us instead she walked out on us,’’ Stephen said.

    He further pleaded with the court to give him time to sort things out and reconcile with his wife.

    The Judge, John Dauda, adjourned the matter until May 6 for a feedback and outcome of the reconciliation, while advising them to maintain peace.

  • Beautiful wife wahala – By Francis Ewherido

    Beautiful wife wahala – By Francis Ewherido

    Many men desire to marry a beautiful woman. Why not? But they say beauty is contextual and in the eyes of the beholder. True, but some are very clear. There is nothing like “contextual” and “in the eyes of the beholder.” My 97-year-old aunt, my father’s cousin, Mama Theresa Dafiaghor, was one of such beauties. As far back as 1970, when I was a little boy, I knew Mama Theresa was stunningly beautiful. Until she died last December, she remained a beauty to behold. In fact, I was teasing Julie, her daughter, the last time I saw Mama Theresa that we needed to give her out in marriage again and collect fresh bride price.

    However, marrying a beautiful woman goes with concomitant wahala (trouble). Other men can’t take their eyes off her. She looks like a public property in their eyes. Every man wants to have a piece of her. I had an older friend. His wife was a stay-at-home wife. She kept piling pressure on the husband that she wanted to do business. Her business interest fell on one of my line of businesses then. The husband called me and told me to partner with her. I readily agreed because it meant the husband would use his influence to get us more businesses. But I did not bargain for the pressure that would come with it. The first day we went out, all eyes were on her. I got curious and looked back at every man who passed as we walked on the road. They always turned back to look at her. She is very beautiful, attractive and glows. I guess glowing added to the attention she got. This continued and at a point I started getting apprehensive. I prayed that there should be no incident because I felt an obligation to protect her. The husband entrusted her to me and I felt I had a duty to defend her. At the same time, I did not want to put myself in harm’s way. How does this man cope with so many men ogling at his wife, I wondered!

    On one particular day, she rushed into my reception and hid in my office: “This man dey pursue me since,” she blurted out as she was rushing into my office. Shortly after, a sturdy man came in. He was short and well built. He pretended to be inspecting our products on display. I looked at his shoes, belt, trousers and shirt and I said to myself that this man is very rich. We catered for middle level working class people then, not his type. When he was leaving, I followed him outside. He came with the latest Mercedes Benz coupe. After he left, our security guard gave me a complimentary card he left for my friend’s wife. I warned her to destroy the card at once and not even look at it. From what she told me. The man saw her in traffic at Ikoyi and pursued her all the way to Obanikoro. For those who live in Lagos, on a good day when traffic is free, that is like a 30-minute journey because Third Mainland Bridge alone is 10.8 kilometers. On a bad day, that distance can take three hours to cover. Anyway, when our business collaboration ended, I was relieved, but I kept wondering how my friend was coping. Men could never get their eyes off her throughout.

    That was before I got married. For someone who liked beautiful women from an early age, it was inevitable I would get married to one. I have had my own baptism of fire since after marriage. I shared the same office building but different offices with my wife for over 20 years. Some men came as clients, but their target was my wife. Patronage stopped abruptly when they didn’t get what they wanted. We worked late one day and the staff had closed. But I needed to quickly go home and attend to my children who were young then. My wife told me in Urhobo that I should not leave her alone with the client, a lawyer, who made us to work late because “his eyes are not good” and it was obvious. After that incident, my respect for him evaporated. His patronage also stopped. Some guys are very disrespectful. They have zero dick control.

    I demoted someone from a friend to an acquaintance. He came visiting. As I was talking to him, I noticed that he was distracted. I decided to follow his gaze. My wife was climbing upstairs and his eyes were following her as she was climbing. That was one of the reasons why I covered my staircase. My visitors reading now know it’s not just for aesthetics. I can go on and on. I discussed another incident with someone close to me. He asked, “why didn’t you break his head?” How may heads will you break? Your business is with your wife. You expect her to be disciplined and faithful. PERIOD.

    Any young man planning to marry a beautiful wife must know what he is up against. Other men will definitely be interested in your wife and make passes at her. Can your wife withstand the pressure? Will she stay faithful? Can you trust her? Is infidelity “sin against the Holy Spirit to you (I use it to depict an infraction you cannot forgive)?” You must answer these questions before you go ahead. There are other questions, but the listed ones are enough for now. I am a conservative Urhobo man with some Isoko blood. Our wives should behave the way majority of our mothers and forebears behaved.

    I actually wrote this article a year ago and archived it. I never knew I would revisit it. In fact, I wanted to delete it five days ago. Then I listened to the interview of the former Minister of Works, Senator Adeseye Ogunlewe on the Akpabio/Uduaghan saga. Ogunseye said “the beauty of Distinguished Senator Natasha (Akpoti-Uduaghan) is a problem to her.” Aha! It tallies with today’s title. When this matter started, the issue was sexual harassment. But the senate came up on Monday with a statement that the issue is “gross misconduct.” The senate and the senate president have had some missteps since this matter started. As someone with some knowledge of crisis management, I will advise them to publicly zip up their mouths, retreat and do deep introspection. This column is on marriage and family, so I can’t go into details, but seeking peace is better than a pyrrhic victory or winning a battle and losing the war.

    Some traducers of Senator Natasha are on the offensive. No problem, she can deal with the various issues raised against her, but I disagree with those who said that she is not beautiful, that she only seems so because she is light skinned. You can hate people but give them their flowers. As someone who could spot a beautiful woman since an early age, Senator Natasha is a very beautiful woman. I have never met her physically, but her beauty reflects in her photos and her television appearances.