TheNewsGuru

Tag: Marriage

  • Bad Marriage: A Straight Talk on Divorce! – By Michael West

    Bad Marriage: A Straight Talk on Divorce! – By Michael West

    If marriage is run the way God the Initiator had ordained it from the beginning, there would not be need for separation or divorce. Human failure to imbibe the culture of love, tolerance, patience and forgiveness upon which relationships are built, engenders hostility and bitterness which do manifest as abuse and violence in marital relationship.

    Divorce found its way into our marital lexicon because of human attitudinal inadequacies and character flaws. And rather than deal with such bad traits, ego, pride and bad temperament seize the momentum to aggravate the already bad situation through diverse form of assaults.

    Being caught in the web of bad marriage makes separation or divorce become an option if efforts to normalize the situation fail and life threatening and health risks pervade the home. It is on this premise that I want to discuss the issue of divorce as an option in bad marriage situation while looking into the religious dimension of the issue.

    Is divorce really bad? If yes, what is the way out of hopelessly bad, abusive and life threatening marriages? And if not, why do we stigmatise, deride and vehemently condemn it as if it is an abominable crime against humanity? Again, why do we mount pressures on the victims of bad marriages to stay put only for us to turn around and heap blames on them for not quitting or talking before the unexpected happens like we now witness in the last two weeks? What a world of hypocrisy we live in! What a society and families of hypocrites we belong to!

    Divorce and separation are avenues for victims of bad marriages to stay alive and fulfil their purposes, visions, dreams and still enjoy life to the fullest. However, abusers and tormentors of their spouses are products of poor parenting! Over indulgent and wayward children grow up to become loveless, heartless, bitter, mean, stingy, unforgiving and hostile spouses in marriage. Their spouses unfortunately become preys and victims of their frustrated lifestyle.

    As earlier stated, bad marriage is not the will of God for anybody. Marriage, originally is meant to be enjoyed. And sincerely, marriage is sweet if one is rightly paired! It is designed to be a blessing and not an affliction.

    However, poor parenting and the choice of spouses people make matter a lot. Abusers didn’t just emerge from the blues, they are indulgent children who become bullies at adolescence through to becoming abusive spouses in their adulthood. The warning signs are always there from the beginning but blind love and desperation often make people to ignore them thinking they can fix the problem in marriage.

    During the week, a young woman went on social media to announce the immediate cancellation of her traditional wedding slated for tomorrow, Saturday April 16, 2022 on account of violent behaviour of her fiancé. She narrated how she had been beaten blue and black several times with scars all over her body while in courtship. She also promised to refund the bride price he paid last week. I want to commend her courage for doing this and I want to enjoin those in similar abusive relationships to quit! It is only the living that gets married.

    Divorce, as bad as it seems, is an avenue by which God saves souls being a way of escape for victims of abusive marriages. God is much more interested and concerned with our souls than marriage. Jesus didn’t go to the cross because of marriage but to save our souls from eternal condemnation. Remember, Jesus said there’s no marriage in heaven. (Matthew 22:30). Paul the Apostle wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 that married people do care for the things of this world – meaning that marriage is earthly and its merriments end here. In view of this truth, marriage, as far as God is concerned, is an option for His people. It is not a must, neither is it a do-or-die affair.

    For the religious folks who see divorce strictly from the parochial prism of being a sacrilege, I dare to state that divorce is Biblical. Before you crucify me, let’s look into the Word. In Ezra chapters 9 and 10, we read accounts of wrong (not bad) marriages between Israelites and pagans. God had earlier warned against such interracial union but many of the leaders and men of God’s people violated the rule and married from the forbidden tribes. As a remorseful and penitent act, verses 11 and 12 state that the offenders willingly agreed to separate (divorce) from the pagan women and their children in obedience to God’s command.

    In Matthew 1:19, Joseph had wanted to divorce his betrothed woman, Mary, secretly over her pregnancy but for the timely intervention of the Holy Spirit. His action was deemed legitimate according to culture and tradition of Jewish nation. Father Abraham sent Hagai packing (separation) on the order of Sarah. Queen Vashit was divorced by King of Persia for disrespecting him. (Esther 1). Conversely, had Samson separated from Delilah early enough, he would not have died prematurely, foolishly and shamefully.

    “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” (Malachi 2:16). This is the most quoted verse in the Bible when it comes to the issue of divorce. But we fail to read the verse both in contextual and implied meanings. The underlying statement here is violence! God hates divorce because it connotes attitudinal, emotional and physical violence. That’s why Jesus said in Matthew 19:8a that “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hardness of heart.” Hardness of heart in this context is euphemism for violent treatment and forceful ejection of estranged spouses. And to avoid spousal murder cases like we now have, Moses then approved divorce as a means to save lives.

    People do quote Jesus’ statement that “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” (Mark 10:9). My position is that how many marriages were actually contracted in strict compliance with God’s ordained process? Most of us violated His rules in the course of dating and courtship. Besides, the involved parties came together on their own volition and so they reserve the right to go their separate ways when the union is becoming life threatening.

    After divorce, what next?

    Separation does not automatically translate to divorce. In some amendable situations, separation is to allow warring couples cool off, think straight, review their issues, give room for intervention, counselling and prayers. In several cases, separated couples do reconcile and live harmoniously thenceforth. And where it is irreconcilable, then, they should stay apart and eventually divorce. It is not every troubled marriage that needs to end in divorce. Some require patience, forgiveness, understanding, tolerance counselling and more prayers to stabilize. Every marriage has its trying moments but how such times are handled will determine the success or otherwise of the union.

    There’s life after divorce. Divorced couples can still reunite after realizing their mistakes and they decide to work on them. Better still, divorced people can still remarry to new partners. To remarry after divorce is in order. Please ignore those who tell you to remain single. Human nature does not encourage anyone to stay without a companion.

    Some misinformed folks do tell abused partners to stay put and endure if they are not being physically assaulted. This is misleading and suicidal. More than battering, other form of assaults like verbal, sexual, emotional, financial, mental and spiritual including pressures from the third party are equally devastating, frustrating, dehumanizing, torturing and killing.

    In the last 10 years, there has been an upsurge in marital violence which has claimed several lives across genders. This year alone, about five cases have been widely reported in the media. This is aside the unreported or covered up cases and those that happened in remote villages and towns.

    I want to advise the church to stop discriminating against single parents by denying them roles in the service of God. This is one of reasons victims like Osinachi died in her abusive marriage so she won’t be ostracized or “disciplined” for failure to keep her home. If she had quit, they might stop inviting her for programmes and run her down as an “adulterous” sister. What will people say and how will the church react actually sent her to her early grave.

    Evasive statements by men of God in critical situations like bad marriage is both hypocritical and cowardly. Human lives should be a priority knowing that marriage is not a visa to heaven. Lastly, the church, family and friends should rally support for anybody languishing in bad marriage. Also, those keeping quiet while they die in silence should speak up and expose the ‘beasts’ they marry as spouses. Abuse is not gender specific, please speak up!

    Happy Good Friday!

    • West wrote via
    • mikeawe@yahoo.co.uk
    • 08035304268
    • 08059964446
  • Barely 3 months, Mercy Aigbe allegedly forced out of new husband’s house

    Barely 3 months, Mercy Aigbe allegedly forced out of new husband’s house

    Barely 3 months after marrying Funsho Adeoti’s husband, Kazeem Adeoti, a.k.a Adekaz, popular Nollywood actress, Mercy Aigbe has reportedly packed out of her new husband’s house.

    Mercy reportedly packed out of her new husband’s house ahead of the arrival of Adekaz’s first wife, Funsho.

    This comes barely months after the union of Mercy and Kazeem, who once reportedly claimed to be using the union as a way to boost his political career.

    According to a controversial blogger, the actress has been forced to move out of the house as the first wife of her husband plans to return to the country from abroad to claim the house which she built together with her husband.

    “Hello tueh tueh, f!ght go soon start oooo, onikan ti de ooo (person wey get property don come oo).

    Information reaching Vawulence headquarters be say Aunty Mercy Aigbe don go back to her house for now oo as the first wife and the husband gather build the house together ni before Aunty Carry her two left legs enter their marriage dabaru am oo and as it is matter still Dey ontop the house, the wife Na abroad based so as Aunty Dey come house Den Dey enjoy she don think say the first wife no go come 9ja come claim her property, you see why I say believe all these yeyebrities at your own risk.

    Adding to the claim, the blogger revealed that the car Mercy Aigbe received as a gift from a brand was actually a false claim to cover up the source which was from Adekaz.

    Close source also reveals say the motor wey Aunty claim say Na brand give am, Na Adekaz handiwork as that one really needed to convince Aunty say him ready????? them come Dey lie ontop brand?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️as it is now the matter go soon turn yam pepper scatter scatter ooo, close source to the family also reveals that the plan was to use Mercy Aigbe accomplish his political career that he once confided in one of his friends about it, mercy on the other hand sef wan upgrade her puna to politics levels, so Na who wan d!e jam who go k!ll am????, the two of them fit each other, make una stand well well oo because if bottles begin Dey fly make e no go meet una ooo. I come in peace.”

  • Churches should have ministry for divorced people – Anglican priest

    Churches should have ministry for divorced people – Anglican priest

    On the trending issue of marriage, domestic violence and divorce, an Anglican priest, Venerable (Dr) Paul Dajur has said the church should have a ministry for people who are divorced.

    TheNewsGuru.com (TNG) reports Venerable Dajur made this known on Wednesday in a statement, in which he stressed the church should not stigmatise those who have suffered divorce or are experiencing turbulence in their marriage and family.

    Dajur stated: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I think so much has been said here on these current trending matters. Here is the conclusion of the matter:

    “Marriage is ordained by God between male and female. Marriage is good. Do not allow the weakness of human beings make you hate what God ordained as good.

    “Do not rush into relationship and marriage based on the judgment of your emotions. Seek counsel and do a proper background check.

    “Watch and pray – “shine your eye well well.” Pray as if background checks do not matter; and balance with background check as if prayer does not matter. The two must work together.

    “Domestic Violence is a sin against God and against your spouse. Don’t contemplate violence and do not act violently against your spouse or any other person for that matter.

    “In the event of abuse, do not be silent. Depending on the degree of abuse speak up to the relevant authorities over your life – parents, church, disciplers, police and other law enforcement agencies. If the degree of abuse is threatening evacuate yourself from the place of abuse and seek godly counseling. Do not seek for divorce until the necessary grounds as permitted by the Holy Scriptures are fulfilled. Remember, God hates divorce; and He also hates abuse.

    “Do not hate the church because of the failure and experiences of individuals. The church is the body of Christ but it is made up of individuals who are fallible. Again, do not speak in a sweeping manner to deride and insult God’s servants – there are faithful servants of God who still uphold the truth of God in the Bible.

    “The church should not stigmatized those who have suffered divorce or are experiencing turbulence in their marriage and family. There should be a ministry towards church members in such condition. God is merciful, do not reduce the extent of his mercy. Prayerfully commit them to God for healing and help in life.

    “Ask God to help your abuser to change for good – do not give up on the covenant of marriage casually -Remember Ecclesiastes 5:1ff.

    “While you pray for change ask God to help you to forgive your abuser – forgiveness is a necessary biblical virtue.

    “Be available as a shoulder to those who are undergoing abuse and do not treat their experience with levity. Let them see you empathizing with them and not just making speeches.

    “In all things try not to sin against God, but carefully follow His commands and directions on marriage and family”.

  • What every man should do before getting married – Comic relief actor, Ijebuu

    What every man should do before getting married – Comic relief actor, Ijebuu

    Popular comic relief actor, Olatayo Amokade a.k.a Ijebuu has advised single men on what to do before ever thinking of getting married or raising kids.

    Ijebuu averred that going into marriage without money could be problematic; hence the need for every man to make sure they are financially stable before getting married or having kids.

    Expressing his view on why young men of today are not interested in marriage, he stressed young men of today have learnt a significant lesson from the marriages of their parents, and that this has influenced their need to be financially stable.

    Adding to his point, Ijebuu emphasized the pressure that comes with running a household as a man and how the majority of the responsibility is solely on him.

    “Young men have learnt from the mistakes of their parents, most of whom got married at young ages and later found it hard to cater to their families. Of course, these young men also want to have kids and enjoy marriage.

    “But, going into marriage without money could be problematic. Many times, a man gets disrespected because he cannot afford to cater to the needs of his wife and kids. Many wives nag at their husbands who are poor.

    “Hence, the best thing for every man is to make sure they are financially stable before getting married or having kids.

    “Even the cost of organizing a wedding is expensive, and most of the money comes from the man. Yet, he would still need to get a home for the family.

    “The financial burden on married men is immense, and that is why many young men are being careful about getting married.

    “Most times, when a man is dependent on his wife financially, the woman usually end up shaming him with it when things go sour,” Ijebuu stated.

  • Domestic violence in marriage: Why divorce is not the answer – Anglican cleric

    Domestic violence in marriage: Why divorce is not the answer – Anglican cleric

    A cleric in the Church of Nigeria, Anglican Communion, Diocese of Abuja, Venerable (Dr.) Paul Dajur has argued that divorce is not the answer to the menace of domestic violence in marriage.

    TheNewsGuru.com (TNG) reports Venerable Dajur made this known on Palm Sunday in a sermon at Basilica of Grace, Gudu in reaction to the death of popular gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu.

    Recall that on Friday, April 8, 2022, news broke that Osinachi, known by many for her hit song ‘Ekwueme’, which resonates in the hearts of many as a soul-stirring song, had passed away.

    The nation was thrown into mourning for she was loved by many, but reports quickly emerged from friends of the singer that Osinachi died due to maltreatment at the hands of her husband, sparking anger and debate that divorce should be allowed in marriage, even when earlier reports claimed that she died of throat cancer.

    Speaking in the sermon titled: “Who is this?”, Dajur described the death of Osinachi as saddening, but stressed that God hates divorce, adding that God likewise hates domestic violence and that what should be the bone of contention is how to stop domestic violence.

    Charging married people to remove everything that is toxic from their lives, the Anglican cleric stressed the need to take pre-marriage counselling and in-marriage counselling very seriously.

    Stressing that the world is getting worse more than ever before and that challenges are now more than before, requiring more understanding from spouses, Dajur also charged married people and those intending to marry to remove lies from their lives.

    “The issue of divorce and domestic violence are two related issues that God does not permit. God does not sanction, does not approve of such. God says in His Word that he hates divorce. God also does not approve and does not support domestic violence of any kind.

    “Recently, social media is agog with pictures and comments supporting divorce in the place of domestic violence. But the argument is simple. If God hates divorce, and God hates domestic violence, why are we now disobeying God in approving divorce and obeying God in stopping domestic violence?

    “So, the issue really is not divorce, not whether to approve it or not, but to deal with the root of the matter. What brings domestic violence? That is what should be the focus, not about disobeying God in approving divorce. When we approve divorce we are disobeying God, and disobeying His Word. So, disobeying God will not help us.

    “What can we do to stop domestic violence? We can stop domestic violence by ensuring that before marriage, those to be married are properly counselled and those people must be people who believe in God and believe the Holy Scriptures.

    “Because in the Bible, domestic violence, whatever names they are given, are not approved by God. So, if we have established that they are Christians and that they believe in God, then, they can now be married.

    “And, when they get married, counselling should not stop. There should be in-marriage counselling or marriage counselling. Those who are married, whatever their number of years in marriage should continue to receive counselling.

    “And then people should look at the value of human life. The wife you married, the husband you married, is in the image and likeness of God, and not a punching bag. So, there is no reason why you should fight your husband or fight your wife.

    “But, husbands are to love their wives; and wives are to submit to their husbands. Because that is what the Bible says. It says we should submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. The husband should love his wife as Christ loves the Church and died for the Church.

    “The wife must submit to her husband just in the same Sarah submitted herself to Abraham her husband and called him lord, my master.

    “So, if we do all these, it will help us. I do not think that the issue is disobeying God by saying okay, “let there be divorce”. The issue is, let us correct what brings about domestic violence. Certainly, divorce is not what brings about domestic violence; so it cannot be the solution to domestic violence,” Dajur said.

  • NAN Editor dedicates first child after 14yrs of marriage

    NAN Editor dedicates first child after 14yrs of marriage

    Mr Isaac Ukpoju, an Editor with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), Lafia office, has expressed gratitude to God for blessing him with a daughter after more than 14 years of marriage and dedicated her to the altar of God.

    Upkoju, while dedicating the child, Blessing Isaac on Sunday at Dunamis, Koroduma Centre, Karu Local Government Area (LGA), appreciated God for answering his prayers 14 years after marriage.

    “I want to thank God for answering my prayer after 14 years of marriage.

    “I will continue to worship God as long as I live, and I pray God to give me the resources and strength to bring her up in the way of the Lord,” he added.

    The NAN Editor also thanked his family members, colleagues, and other well-wishers, who stood and prayed with him and his wife throughout the period.

    Earlier, Elvis Mike-Oche, Pastor of the church, lauded the NAN Editor alongside others, who still remember to present their children to God after blessing them.

    He said that many people hardly remember to thank God for answering their prayers and only remember him again when they are facing another challenge in life.

    The pastor called on parents to ensure the proper upbringing of their children in a Godly way.

    He added that children are a special gift from God, hence the need for parents to take adequate care of them.

    The pastor, who preached from Psalm 127:3-5 said; “children are the heritage of the Lord and happy is the man that had a quiver full of them.”

    He, therefore, congratulated them and wished the child well in life.

    Upkoju married his wife, Juliana Ukpaju in 2008.

  • Comedian Mr Macaroni opens up on plans for marriage

    Comedian Mr Macaroni opens up on plans for marriage

    Famous Skit maker, comedian and actor Debo Adebayo also known as Mr Macaroni has opened up on marraige.

    The comedian has revealed that he has no plan of getting married anytime soon, saying marraige really scares him.

    Macaroni made this revealation during a question and answer session from his fans on his Twitter page.

    When asked if he’s considering marriage anytime soon, Mr. Macaroni said ‘no’.

    According to him, marriage scares him and he has not been in a relationship since 2012.

    His tweet read : “No! Marriage scares me. I haven’t been in a relationship since my time in Houdegbe North American University, Benin Republic (HNAUB). That’s like 2011-2012.”

    Macaroni also disclosed that he attended four universities: Leads City, Houdegbe North American University and Babcock before he finally graduated from Redeemers University.

    His comedy idea sees him wearing a rich Agbada, tending to realize beautifully endowed ladies with the aid of maybe transferring a big amount of money to them or doing something of the sort.

    Christened Debo Adedayo but famously known as Mr. Macaroni is a Nigerian comedian, actor, and all-around entertainer.

    He’s popularly known with the trending slogan “You’re Doing Well; Ooin” and he grew up in Lagos State, Nigeria.

  • Stop Dating for Wrong Reasons – By Michael West

    Stop Dating for Wrong Reasons – By Michael West

    By Michael West

    Dating is a prelude to marriage for adults. It is otherwise known as courtship but because some engaged adults don’t really want to settle down, they remain in dating for as long as it serves their purposes and interests.

    Not many people realise that dating without a purpose is time wasting and an euphemism for romantic adventure. A focused relationship is what makes adults responsible and accountable for their lifetime and resources. Going by the prevailing situation around us, there’re quite a number of people, women in particular, that are going through some hard and unpleasant situations in their relationships. But the truth is that many of them don’t know why they are in relationship or why they marry the men in their lives. In response to many of the questions and to properly define the path to a peaceful and lasting relationship, I decided to publish an abridged version of a piece written by Amara Blessing Nwosu, a resourceful writer and relationship coach, in addressing the situation. Read on:

    I have never failed to ask this question whenever I am speaking to singles on relationship matters. I have come to the realisation that many people, especially women, go into relationships either for the wrong reasons or no reason at all. A good number of ladies go into relationships just because their friends are into it and so they should play along. Others go into it because their body calls for it and this is natural. But it is only a few out there who go into relationships with the opposite sex for the right reasons.

    A good number of us are shy to open up and say what we have in our minds because we don’t want to be seen as one of those desperate girls. I don’t think you should bother so much about people talking or that guy seeing you as one desperado just because you open up on your expectations. I know you are too afraid to lose him again. But girl, if you don’t talk about these things now, they will come back to hunt your future. I know there are times compromise becomes necessary, but there are also issues that need no compromise. Losing your direction can cause you to stay in a relationship even if it no longer fulfils your needs and desires.

    Women keep lamenting of men treating them as rags in their relationships. The problem is not from the man; you are your own problem. I have been there and I know what I am talking about. Nigerian women, especially women from the eastern part, are brought up to believe that all a woman needs in life is marriage to a wealthy man. This is why you see young girls getting married while in junior secondary school and the parents are there rejoicing over her. What do you expect from that kind of relationship? She gets married to a man just because he has some cash to throw around. The life of this girl comes to a halt as she becomes the baby making factory she was created to be and possibly end up inside the market.

    Age has a way of teaching people some good lessons in life. There are also some ladies who are still being tossed about by every wind of compliment from men. These ones are adults, they have gone through series of heartbreaks from men, but have refused to learn their lessons. They go on making worse mistakes just because they are too desperate not to look before they leap.

    I am not trying to preach intolerance or gender equality in relationships. I am one person who believes there is a place in every relationship, kept for the man alone. I don’t like the idea of women trying to become men, but I also believe a woman should be respected and adored for her best to come out.

    You are an expert in getting men to love you and now you have this guy you are attracted to and you are not ready to let go. You keep disturbing his lines even while he is busy at work. Let me tell you what happens when you eventually end up in marriage with him; you will spend the rest of your life struggling to keep the relationship. Become the woman you are created to be and you will see him running tirelessly after you.

    When I talk about setting standards and goals in relationships, I am not talking about taking yourself to an invisible mountain where no normal guy can reach you. You have lost great men just because you don’t want to face reality. I know you want to ride in those posh cars like your friends who are married to big time drug barons and fraudsters, I know you want to move from one country to the other on holidays; they are all good expectations, but girl, what about developing yourself? I also want you to take time out and get to know how happy those your friends are with all the material acquisitions.

    You must set your standards and refuse to go below your expectations in life just to please a man. I have never gone clubbing and so I will never have anything to do with a man who moves from one club house to the other. I don’t like alcohol, especially beer, and so I can never stoop so low to have a relationship with a man whose fridges are filled with bottles of beer. I like privacy and so I don’t have to get attached to a man who loves partying and who has no secret. I can tolerate a lot of things from people, but there are no-go-areas when it comes to my life. I know people will tell you that setting standards is one of the reasons ladies remain single for a very long time. A man who loves you and appreciates class and knowledge will ever appreciate you.

    The problem with us is that we always ignore the red-flags in our relationships and blindly go into marriage without getting them sorted out believing he is going to change. Please get ready to cope with his lifestyle because he is not going to change. By the time you get into that relationship and start moving from one prayer house to the other for solution, please remember you read this article someday.

    There is more to life than the money in the bank. There is more to relationships than getting married to a total stranger whose lifestyle contradicts yours. You can only enjoy marriage when you get into it with your best friend. If he is not rich now, never look down on him because you may be the carrier of his blessings and he will someday make it because he is focused.

    From the Mailbox

    Re: Angel or Bitch, Who is She?

    It was a plausible piece of writing. The points made are succinct and adequate in the description of an ideal woman! They are made to complement men in their life journey. Life would be boring without good women. To get a good woman today is becoming difficult because of westernization of our rich cultural heritage. Whenever you see a man prospering very fast just know he has the right woman his life.

    The International Women’s Day concept should remind us of their importance in the human environment, especially their complementary role in making things work well. I agree with the saying that behind every successful man there is a good woman; and conversely, behind a failed man there is also a woman. – 08187107434

    • West wrote via mikeawe@yahoo.co.uk

    08035304268

    08059964446

  • There’s no woman behind every successful man – Reno Omokri

    There’s no woman behind every successful man – Reno Omokri

    Former media aide to ex-President Goodluck Jonathan, Reno Omokri has debunked the claim that there is a woman behind every successful man.

    Omokri stated: ‘Behind every successful man, there is not a woman. That proverb is a lie. Rather, behind almost every successful man, are many unsuccessful years. And if he had focused on women in those years, his present success would not have manifested. So, never think that love alone, without success, can keep a woman with you. Love alone is not enough to keep a marriage afloat. Especially where children are involved. Once a woman has a child. her umbilical love for that child is likely to be stronger than her emotional love for you. If you can’t care for that child, because of poverty, she may cheat on you with a man who will!’

  • Why I slept with my son — Mother confesses

    Why I slept with my son — Mother confesses

    Matina Agawua, a native of Yelwata in Nasarawa State has narrated why she slept with her biological son, confessing she engaged in the act to check if she was still fertile.

    Agawua said when she lost her first husband, she decided to remain a widow for 13 years. She revealed she lost her first husband to a herdsmen attack in Northern Nigeria. Her first marriage produced a son.

    She remarried years after the death of her husband but had difficulties having a child with her second husband, Mr James after six years of marriage.

    The woman said her in-laws threatened to show her the way out on the ground of not being able to have a child for their son.

    “We had been married for more than six years but were still childless due to my husband’s fault, according to doctor’s report, and I was hearing from the grapevine that he was planning to take a second wife on the grounds that I could not give him a child,” Agawua said in a recent interview with The Nation.

    She further said while she took a fertility test, her husband did not deem it necessary to go for a medical check-up to ascertain the source of the problem.

    She said she suspected that her husband was suffering from low sperm count which made him unable to father a child as the test she took showed that there was nothing wrong with her. The woman said it was amid this crisis that she slept with her only son from her first marriage.

    “Since he is not comfortable with us going for medical checkups on the assumption that nothing was wrong with him, I decided to convince my little son, who is just about 16 years old and schooling in Akwanga. I visit him regularly. He stays in a private apartment with my relatives, so I was going there to spend some time with them, especially on weekends when my market is off. It was actually difficult making love with my own son, but circumstances forced me to go into it. I needed to be sure of my fertility.

    “I know my husband very well. If he discovered I had an affair with a man outside, he would kill me. I love him so much and I’m afraid of him, so this evil plan kept ringing in my mind to know how fertile I am. I tried to visit my son in Akwanga mostly when I was on my ovulation period. I decided to develop a crush on him and draw him very close to me. We got intimate and ended up having s3x.

    “One faithful day while I was on my ovulation period, I visited him. It was at about 11 pm. I held his hand and made him sit beside me.

    “I asked him if he had ever had s3x and he said no. I held him in my arms. This time, I felt warm and I think he too did. After that night, I felt extremely embarrassed, and guilty that I committed such an abomination with my own son. It was actually a taboo, but I warned him to keep it secret,” Agawua narrated.