Big Brother Naija star, Erica Nlewedim has revealed why she won’t be rushing into marriage.
Erica disclosed that she won’t be rushing into marriage because she has the rest of her life to be married and marriage is favourable for men.
She tweeted: “I’m turning 27 this year it’s not you that’ll tell me my own age
Why rush? I have the rest of my life to be married. It’s favorable to the men cos they don’t really have to change much about their lives but a lot about the woman changes”.
Popular singer, Timi Dakolo has come out to speak against men not being allowed to express their emotions.
He advised people to stop discouraging men from crying. He added that vulnerability is not the sole preserve of women.
He tweeted: “The next time you see a man cry, please don’t tell him to stop crying. Don’t throw in “ you are a man, you shouldn’t be seen crying”. Vulnerability is not exclusive to the women. For emotions are like energy and energy must be expressed, less it kills the host. Strong men cry.”
Not fewer than 14 people have been shot dead by Police in Madagascar and 28 others injured after they tried to break into a police station to kill four men accused of kidnapping an albino child.
The kidnapping took place last week, according to Razafintsiandraofa, an MP for the Ikongo district, about 80 kilometers southeast of the capital Antananarivo.
According to reports, a mob of about 500 angry villagers armed with machetes and knives stormed the local police station in Ikongo, calling for the release of the four suspects arrested on Sunday, August 28, to deal with them.
The protesters “then tried to break into the station,” a police officer told AFP.
![[Devotional] IN HIS PRESENCE: When men say ‘no’ to you](https://thenewsguru.ng/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Screenshot_20211202-092925.png)
By Oke Chinye
Read: Exodus 10:1-29
Meditation verse:
“Now the Lord said to Moses, ‘go into Pharoah, for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his servants, that I may show these signs of Mine before him” (Ex 10:1).
God may choose to harden the heart of men against you so that He may display his miraculous signs in your life. He wanted to display His awesome power before Pharoah as well as build up the faith of the children of Israel ahead of their journey to the promised land, so He said to Moses: “Go in to Pharaoh; for I have hardened his heart and the hearts of his servants, that I may show these signs of Mine before him, and that you may tell in the hearing of your son and your son’s son the mighty things I have done in Egypt, and My signs which I have done among them, that you may know that I am the Lord.” (Ex 10:1-2).
Not everyone you ask for a favour, will oblige you and not everyone who refuses to oblige you is doing so from a point of wickedness. Proverbs 21:1 says: “the king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes. God can cause a man to favour you in any situation, He can also cause a man to withhold that favour from you. “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure (Phil 2:13). Certain rejections and disappointments are a set up for God to do the miraculous in your life. If you fully understand this, you will fret less in the face of disappointments. You will hold your peace when those you expect to come through for you fail to do so.
If you are currently nursing a grudge because the one you expected to be of help to you in your time of need, deserted you, do yourself a favour and let go of that grudge. The help of man is useless anyway and cannot be compared to the might of The Almighty. (Ps 60:11). If you have exhausted all your options at this moment, why not boldly declare: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?
IN HIS PRESENCE is written by Dcns Oke Chinye, Founder of The Rock Teaching Ministry (TRTM).
For Prayers and Counseling email rockteachingministry@gmail.com
or call +2348155525555
For more enquiries, visit: www.rockteachingministry.org.
Though, breast cancer is commoner in females with about one in every eight women likely to develop it. In fact the strongest risk factor for the development of breast cancer is being a woman but still about 0.5 to one per cent of breast cancers occur in men.
According to the World Health Organisation, breast cancer is the world’s most prevalent cancer with about 7.8 million women alive having it in the past five years leading to the year 2020.
A breast has three major parts; lobules, ducts and the connective tissue. It is in the lobules that milk is produced and it is the duct that carries milk to the nipple. The connective tissues are the ones that surround and hold firm the structures of the breast. They are made up of fibrous and fatty tissue.
The largest chunks of breast cancers are initiated in the ducts or lobules. According to the World Health Organisation, breast cancer arising from the lining cells of the ducts constitute 85 per cent of breast cancer while 15 per cent others originate from the lobules of the breast.
Most people will first notice breast cancer as an area of the breast with thickened tissue or a lump in the breast or in a nearby armpit. It may also be heralded as a non-cyclical armpit or breast pain or as an area of the skin having an orange skin-like appearance which may be accompanied by skin color changes.
Sometimes, breast cancer may even start as a rash around one or both nipples or as nipples discharge which sometimes is bloody. In some instances, the presage may be an indentation or an inversion of the nipple. A change in the size or shape of the breast or the peeling, flaking or scaling of the skin of the breast or the nipple may all that would betoken the beginning of a breast cancer.
Normally, cells in our bodies divide only when there is a need for a new cell. But cells can sometimes, become delinquent to create a mass of tissue called a tumor. A tumor that contains normal cells is said to be benign and the one that contains abnormal cells and function differently from the body normal cells is called malignant or cancerous.
The cause of breast cancer is uncertainly known but being a woman, the age of the woman, genetic factors, family history, personal health history and diet may be contributory to the development of breast cancer. Many risk factors have been associated with the occurrence of breast cancer. Some of these factors such as alcohol consumption, body weight, breast implants, choosing not to breastfeed, using hormone replacement medicines can be controlled.
But other risk factors like being a woman, getting older, having dense breast, early menarche (starting menstruation before age 12) and late menopause (stopping menstruation after age 55), exposure to radiation (especially to the chest), family history of first degree relatives having breast cancer, previous history of breast cancer diagnosis are some of the risk factors of breast cancer that are non-modifiable.
Though there is no certainty that breast cancer can be prevented but its risk can be lowered. It is believed that maintaining healthy habits, like limiting alcohol use, being physically active, maintaining a healthy weight, breast-feeding, limiting post-menopausal hormone therapy can lower the risk of developing breast cancer.
It is also suggested that regular self-breast examination can help individuals in identifying breast cancer early. But mammograms are the best way to find breast cancer early. A mammogram is an X-ray of the breast. In the United States, it is recommended that women between age 50 to 74 who are at an average risk of having breast cancer should get a mammogram done every two years while women between 40 to 49 years of age should consult their physicians to know how often to get a mammogram. However, it should be known that as mammograms have benefits they are also with risks, hence the reason why physicians consultation is advised.
Breast cancer can be treated using a combination of surgery, chemotherapy, hormonal therapy, biological therapy and radiation therapy. These treatment options have brought succor and saved lives of many people but melancholically about 685,000 women still died globally from breast cancer in 2020 according to the World Health Organisation. But best successes in treatment have been achieved when breast cancer is identified early. So, in this instance, a stitch in time doesn’t save nine but saves lives.
Australian men are twice as likely to be highly paid than women, a government report has found.
The Workplace Gender Equality Agency (WGEA) on Friday published its latest data on the gender pay gap.
Based on the earnings of more than four million employees between April 2020 and March 2021, it revealed that men, on average, earn 25,792 Australian dollars (18,371 U.S. dollars) more per year than women.
It equates to a gender pay gap of 22.8 per cent, a slight fall from 23.3 per cent the previous year, meaning that men earn 10 Australian dollars while a woman made 7.72 Australian dollars.
One third of male employees make more than 120,000 Australian dollars per year, as likely as females, while women are 50 per cent more likely to earn less than 60,000 Australian dollars .
73 per cent of Australian employers have pay gaps in favor of men while seven per cent favor women and 20 per cent have achieved parity.
Mary Wooldridge, Director of the WGEA, said in a media release that from the very top-down, women are undervalued in Australian businesses and underrepresented where decisions are made.
“Our latest insights show this pattern clearly, 22 per cent of all boards still don’t have a single woman in the room and about three quarters of all boards have a vast majority (over 60 per cent) of men.
“Of those heavily male-dominated boards, only 12 per cent have set a target to increase the representation of women and on average that target is only 35 per cent not even what is generally considered a balanced board,” she added.
The construction industry had the biggest gender pay gap, with men earning 30 per cent more on average than women followed by financial and insurance services 29.5 per cent.
Professional, scientific and technical services industries earn 24.7 per cent.
One Australian dollar equals 0.71 U.S. dollar.
Nollywood actress, Destiny Etiko, has asked people to stop linking her achievements to men.
The actress made the appeal in an interview with Punch.
She said, “It is funny because I work for my money and I get good endorsements. If it is easy for men to give one money, then go and collect money from men. I work, make my money, and some people appreciate me.
I just got an endorsement deal with a Chinese company. When I achieve something tomorrow, people would say a man gave it to me. Let them keep talking. Even if I don’t achieve anything, it is still the same people that would say after all the films I have been acting, I have not done anything for myself. I don’t want to take it seriously.”
Recalling how her mother influenced her decision to join the industry, she said, “My mother, Eucharia Etiko, started acting in 2004. She did not act in major roles and her acting career lasted for just three and half years because it was difficult for her to go on set and come back at night to attend to her family. Whenever we were on holidays, my mum would ask me to follow her and hold her bag whenever she was shooting. I followed her on three occasions and I featured in some cameo roles. I had minor roles as an adult too but I finally got a better role in 2012. 2015 was my breakthrough year as I started receiving regular calls from people who wanted to feature me in their films.”
By Femi Aribisala
“Every Jack, Jill, and Harry has a Ph.D. in Divinity”.
Jesus says: “Everyone who confesses me before men, him I will also confess before my Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies me before men, him I will also deny before my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 10:32-33).
How exactly do we confess Christ?
Confessing and denying
Many Christians take this to mean answering an altar call and declaring that Jesus is your Lord and Saviour.
This is based on Paul’s assertion that: “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” (Romans 10:9-10).
However, Paul himself does not believe that a once-for-all declaration is sufficient. He writes to Titus about people who: “profess to know God, but in works they deny Him.” (Titus 1:6).
Christians readily confess our churches. We are quick to declare our denominations. But we do not confess Christ. In critical situations, we discover that we do not know Him. Or we pretend that He does not exist.
Do Christians know God? If you were to talk about aeronautical science, most people would shut up because they know nothing about it. But if you talk about God, everybody becomes an expert. Every Jack, Jill, and Harry has a Ph.D. in Divinity.
“But to the wicked God says: ‘What right have you to declare My statutes, or take My covenant in your mouth, seeing you hate instruction and cast My words behind you? When you saw a thief, you consented with him, and have been a partaker with adulterers. You give your mouth to evil, and your tongue frames deceit. You sit and speak against your brother; you slander your own mother’s son. These things you have done, and I kept silent; you thought that I was altogether like you.’” (Psalm 50:16-21).
Peter was the first person to “confess” Christ. When Jesus asked His disciples who they say He is, Peter said to Him: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” (Matthew 16:16). But this same Peter went on to deny knowing Christ not once, but three times on the trot when He was arrested.
Peter denied Christ, saying: “I don’t know the man.” How do we say: “I don’t know Christ” today? We deny Christ when we tell a lie. We deny Christ when we cheat and steal.
When Peter denied Christ, Jesus was in the same room. Peter looked up and saw Jesus looking directly at him. Their eyes locked.
Similarly, when we tell a lie, Jesus is right there with us. He is right there in the room. And yet, we say we do not know Him. We talk as if He does not exist. Then we go to church and sing “Praising the Lord, always.”
Lip-service confessions
Jesus maintains He is not interested in lip-service confessions. He says: “You will recognize them by their fruits. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” (Matthew 7:20-23).
This shows that even preaching the gospel and engaging in evangelism is not enough. Confessing Christ before men means living according to the way, the truth. and the life. (John 14:6).
When we confess Christ, we fail at the job interview because we tell the truth. But when we confess the devil, we get the job because we tell a lie.
When we confess Christ, we must resign our appointment because we are required to cook the books. But when we deny Christ, we say we are thirty when we are forty. When we confess Christ, we call a spade a spade. But when we deny Christ, a spade easily becomes a cutlass.
Failing the test
Bolaji was taking her exams and everybody in the centre was cheating, with the connivance of the invigilator who had been bought over. Does she join them and succeed, or does she ignore them and come last?
Should she decide to pass her exam, or should she agree to fail? If she passes, she denies Christ. If she fails, she confesses Him. If she fails, she cannot gain the world. But if she passes, the world is her oyster.
Therefore, Jesus says: “Whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Mark 8:35-37).
With God, the decision to fail in the name of righteousness amounts to good success, while the decision to pass through unrighteousness amounts to bad success.
Accordingly, God said to Joshua: “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” (Joshua 1:8).
In effect, the requirement to confess Christ is not a call to hypocrisy. Jesus says to His disciples: “You shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” (Acts 1:8).
We witness to Jesus by being like Jesus. We witness to Jesus by being the Jesus that people will meet in the flesh. That means you cannot confess Christ without first denying yourself. Denying yourself means you no longer exist. When you confess Christ, you lose your life. Christ becomes your life. (Colossians 3:4).
Denying yourself means that: “the sharing of your faith (will) become effective by the acknowledgment of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.” (Philem 6:7).
Inviting trouble
This is where the confession process becomes troublesome. Confessing Christ is costly. It takes us out of our comfort zones. It requires us to carry our crosses and follow Jesus. It means we are naked and not ashamed.
To confess Christ as your healer, you need to fall seriously sick. To confess Him as your provider, you need to become seriously broke. To confess Him as the resurrection and the Life, you need to fall down and die.
Moreover, since Christ is a rock of offense, we become offensive to people in the world. They cannot rely on us to back them up with lies. They take offense that we refuse to walk with them: “in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries.” (1 Peter 4:3).
Confessing Christ sets sons against fathers, daughters against mothers, and daughters-in-law against mothers-in-law. According to Jesus, when we confess Him, our enemies will become members of our own household. (Matthew 10:34-36).
Pubs, popularly called beer parlour, is a thriving business in Nigeria which attracts patronage from a huge number of clients on a daily basis.
A trip to some beer parlours in Lagos by the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Thursday revealed that men are the major customers when compared with women.
Research has also shown that most men who do white collar jobs dominate 50 per cent of the beer parlours.
However, some of their opinions are far away from the thinking of what most men go there to do.
Most women think probably it is where their husbands take girlfriends to for relaxation and fun.
Some others who usually visit joints after work told NAN that the purpose of doing so was to relax and get relieved of tension.
Mr Saulam Ola, who usually visits a beer parlour in Ikorodu area of Lagos, said that he visits there to cool off from work stress before going home to face another family stress.
“I prefer to stop over at beer parlour so that my wife and children would have slept before I get home.
“Whenever I get home on time my family issues will be give me stress. So, I prefer to stay out late in beer parlour,’’ he said.
Another business man, Mr Thomas Ojo, told NAN that he visits beer parlour to probably mingle with the right people to discuss the happenings both at home and abroad.
“I usually go there to mix up with people of different calibre and status in order to know the happenings around me.
“We discuss politics to catch up with the happenings in the country, so that we get the update of issues.”
“If I decide to go home straight, there may be no light or probably my generator might be faulty and I won’t be able to listen to news,” Ojo said.
Also, Mr John Taofeek, said that drinking beer makes him forget his problems because it provides him happiness.
“I will rather go to beer parlour to drink before going home so that I can forget my problems; beer gives me happiness, especially the ones with alcohol.
“Ordinarily, if I go home straight I will be thinking of bad things,” Taofeek said.
According to Emma Noel, a businessman, going to beer parlour is because of his love for beer and nothing else.
“I don’t have issues at home, but the truth is that I must branch at a beer parlour to drink and have fun,’’ Noel said.
Mr Aliu Jimoh, an artisan, said he prefers to stop over at beer parlour before going home because he does not have a peaceful home.
“I stop at beer parlours to avoid troubles at home. My wife is the nagging type who picks up quarrel with me at any given time.
“I do not always want to go home early so that there won’t be issues; I always drink beer to stupor in order not to listen to her nagging,’’ he said.
Mr Moses Matthew said he stops at beer parlours to drink before going home to avoid paying more bills at home.
“When I get home early my children will bring unnecessary bills on my table, even my wife will be telling me of the “aso-ebi” she wants to buy.
“I go to beer parlour to drink in order to get home late and by the time they wake in the morning I would have gone out.
By Michael West
A Lagos based businessman called to ask for help because he wanted to “secure” his wife so she can always obey him. “When I had money, I was ‘king’ to her and her family but since things have not been rosy with me in recent times, my wife has become stubborn and confrontational. As we speak, she has refused to return from the East since we travelled for Christmas last December. Surprisingly, she said she is no longer interested in the marriage. Can you imagine? I want to ‘secure’ her so she can obey me and stop listening to her mother and her influencers.”
The caller didn’t know that powers sourced through mediums and alternative means are ephemeral. Such powers have expiry time as well as consequences. There’s nothing as peaceful, dependable and lasting as the power of prayers which has no consequences. Many of the forced marriages or relationships don’t end well. After I explained these to him, he agreed to drop the idea and chose to embrace interventions that will bring back his wife to him through dialogue.
Not a few women called to share their gory tales in bad marriages. While some have “escaped”, others said they are still taking their time but are hell-bent on quitting. Two callers said they have settled for what they termed “marriage of convenience” – this means they live apart but still married. In case either of the party chooses to move on or decides to end the union, filing for divorce will not be a problem since separation as a precondition is already being fulfilled.
Today, I decided to publish one of the stories available. The 44-year-old woman explained that: “From the onset, I knew my marriage won’t last; because it was more of a reluctant union. I almost backed out at the last minutes but the fear of what people will say goaded me into it.
“The early sign I noticed was that he was hostile to my friends. Later, he restricted his own family members from visiting us, a decision that made it possible for him to stop my own family members from visiting us, too. He did that knowing it will enable him to do whatever he liked with me.
“I read Banking and Finance in the university but when I had a job offer from a new generation bank he rejected it. He said the job will expose me to men and they will chase after me in the course of duty. Every appeal to allow me pursue a career in my field fell on deaf ears. Months later, I got another job offer from a telecommunication company, again, he also declined approval, saying it will expose me to men. There and then I knew I got it wrong in the choice I made in marriage.
“To be honest, I didn’t like buying and selling kind of business. I preferred corporate jobs. I went for my MBA with the aim of floating a consulting firm, he allowed me to go through the course sponsored by my parents but disallowed me to prospect for business opportunities. At the end of the day, my parents suggested I should consider buying and selling if that is what he wanted for me. Alas! He said he had no money to invest in or fund my business, not even a loan. He said I should raise the capital by myself. That was when I fully realised that I was into a big marital trouble.
“All the while, I suffered physical assaults and dehumanized treatments whenever we had altercations. Twice I had miscarriages due to abuse and domestic violence. At some point, he stopped me from visiting my parents because they warned him against further assaults. He was a top executive at work, (but now retired) yet, he scarcely provide enough for us at home. He told me during a quarrel that giving enough money to women for family upkeep is a subtle way of empowering them because they will manage it to their own advantage. Callous men are not generous at all and they deliberately deny financial support to their wives in order to weaken, subdue and humble them. The little women have in savings will be spent to augment the needs at home because of children. As a result, abused women will stay longer in lack, insufficiency and in suffering. Whenever such men show a little kindness, feebleminded women easily forget all the torture they have been subjected to. Some will even go as far as telling their men how they had been advised to quit.
“One day, alone in the house, I reviewed my marital journey so far, 12 years had gone without a glimmer of hope for improvement. My dream and passion are being frustrated. I had no sustainable means of income. There’s no future here if I stay on. I decided to quit. I knew that he would pretend to be remorseful whereas if he succeeded to hold me back, getting out will be more difficult, I then mapped out a strategy that took three months to perfect without informing anybody about it. The day I was ready to quit, I invited his youngest sister to please see me. When she came, I entertained her and made her to relax till the school bus brought my children from school. After feeding the children and while they settled to do their homeworks, I told her to look after the children that I wanted to pick some items at the nearby store. That was how I left with only my handbag at about 5pm.
“She won’t leave until I return and her brother met her at home. They started calling my line. I didn’t respond until I got to Abuja the next day. I told him that I’m done with the marriage. He should tell his sister to take care of the children. I needed to progress and pursue my own dream.
“He ran to my parents, got in touch with my friends he said he didn’t want to see around me. At the end of the day, I agreed to allow the children to stay with me on three conditions:
• That he must agree to a divorce which he accepted before I allowed him to bring the children to me in Abuja.
• That he must agree to provide for the monthly upkeep and regular payment of school fees for the children. He consented.
• That our discussions thenceforth must be about and not beyond the issues concerning our children. Nothing more. He was initially hesitant but he budged eventually.
“I got a lawyer to draft the agreement and we both signed. That was how I escaped from the lion’s den. Previously, I had made an attempt at separation which he thwarted by prevailing over my parents and friends to beg me to return. Yet, this man won’t change. After each disagreement, he would demonstrate fake attitudes of a changed man. In fact, he pretended for almost three months at a time during which I almost cancelled my divorce plans. I got so convinced and carried away that I concluded that nobody is perfect after all. A situation later arose which brought out his concealed person. They can only pretend to buy time until it will be too late for their ‘victims’ to quit.
“I left my children behind as a strategy to have my way and to get them to live with me without yielding any ground to his advantage. If I had gone with my children, he won’t be responsible for their welfare and education, and the journey to get my bearings may not be as easy and fast as it was that time. I took to a wise counsel of a confidant and it paid off.
“I want to advise women in similar situations to please run for dear lives. Callous men are devils, and devils never repent of their deeds. Your sanity, human dignity and purpose in life matter a lot. It is foolish for any woman to die or get mentally deranged because of marriage. I have since been remarried to a valued friend who celebrates me beyond the beauty that my ex was killing me over. He also supports my dream and passion wholeheartedly. The fear of what people will say still keep several women in bad marriages while some are dying in it daily, untimely and silently.”
• West wrote via mikeawe@yahoo.co.uk
08035304268
08059964446