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Tag: men

  • Bad marriage: Why men ‘secure’ their wives – By Michael West

    Bad marriage: Why men ‘secure’ their wives – By Michael West

    By Michael West

    Saturday, January 8, 2022, as early as 6:30am, I received a call that cleared sleep out of my eyes. The caller, who hide his caller ID, explained why some men do seek spiritual help to cage their wives. The caller, who later disclosed his identity said “it is not evil to ‘secure’ a good wife especially when you know that her presence brings favour and prosperity into your life.”

    His words: “I ‘secured’ my spouse for good reasons. I love her so much and I don’t want her to lose her because men chase after her everywhere. Besides, I don’t think what I did is evil since I didn’t harm her in anyway. I’m a hotly jealous man and I become temperamental whenever I see men trying to woo her whether online or offline. Some men are so daring, because she is beautiful, they can’t hide their admiration for her even when they see us together. I became abusive as a result. I do beat her silly and that’s why she’s been threatening me with divorce. I deny her financial support as a way to weaken her willpower. I did a few other things to subdue her. I did all that to secure my home.

    “I didn’t know about the ‘native security’ until I shared my fears with a friend. He took me to a man who, to my amazement, said that women with good and prosperous aura are in short supply these days. ‘If you are lucky to have one, you have to secure (tie) her from going away.’ He did some findings about my wife in my presence and told me things I have never shared with anybody that had happened to us. The man was so accurate that I admitted that I needed his help immediately. That was how I’m able to keep her till date.”

    I asked to know in case she finds out, he said it is not impossible because she attends a praying church where anything can be revealed but I did nothing wrong. I simply make her uninterested in any other man except me. That’s all. Besides, she may not believe it because she has never seen charms or any juju with me before. The spiritualist didn’t give me anything and the work is very effective. He doesn’t have to give you anything. It is the target’s details that are only required.”

    As revealing and scary as this appears to be, most of those who engage in such practices see their innocent spouses as ‘captives’ in their marital cells. This brings to mind the trust issue in relationships and the need for abusive partners to make conscious efforts to have a change of attitude rather than going spiritual to manipulate their spouses. However, the way men hook their wives from divorcing or separating from them, likewise, there are women who subdue the willpower of their husbands in order to gain control and enjoy the latitude to do whatever pleases them.

    I’m aware of the potency of God-given power to humanity. As a believer, I know the power of God is attainable through prayers, fasting and living a consecrated life. However, it is also possible to access other form of powers through alternative means through mediums, invocation of metaphysical rituals and elemental beings. Therefore, the users of alternative means to influence things in their favour do not see anything wrong with it.

    Through interactions I had with some senior citizens over this issue, I discovered that the use of native means to stabilize marriages is not new to our society, though discreetly applied. An 81-year-old community elder who spoke to me explained that “Our fathers and grandfathers used native means effectively and silently to prevent good women from leaving them. Naturally, women dislike rivalry but patriarchal authority, wisdom and traditional nuances were deployed to maintain the balance at homes. Men were ‘kings’ in that era. Their words and actions were authoritarian and unquestionable. However, our mothers at the time, too, had their own subtle methods through which they checkmated and defied their husbands without acrimony. The fathers at the time didn’t have the animalistic nature of beating their wives. They used abstinence from sex and rejection of foods as major weapons to discipline erring or recalcitrant wives. Have you wondered why a woman who had moved out and remarried, after having one or two children elsewhere, she will return to her first husband and they will still live in peace as if nothing had happened? That’s elders’ secret at work. In addition, our fathers graciously applied tolerance, patience and forgiveness as key factors that sustained their marriages. Those three virtues are needed to keep marriages working in this generation. However, a virtuous woman can still divorce especially if her marriage is largely abusive; and, importantly, if she has a strong family support, but not without the man making efforts to prevent her exit.”

    There are two major ways people keep their spouses in bad marriages. One, through delay tactics and, two, through spiritual means. There are two major categories of spouses that people won’t let go out of their lives easily: spouses that have positive and prosperous aura or what people refer to as good luck. Also, kind-hearted, faithful, responsible and industrious spouses.

    According to a clinical psychologist who is also a relationship coach but preferred to remain anonymous, “The most effective strategy that men use to keep their abused spouses in marriages is superficial change of attitudes and begging. They apply this method to buy time. They’re ready to say sorry whenever their wives are provoked or they threaten to quit. The men usually plead for another chance over and over again. Through this approach, weeks will roll into months and months into years and still counting.

    “They use delay tactics to keep women blessed with great attributes and godly character in bad marriages. The women will merely rant, threaten and weep but going nowhere. They often rationalize their continued stay on factors like children, people’s opinions and religious affiliations without thinking about their own lives, sanity and wellbeing.

    “The abusive and mean men are known through failed or partially fulfilled promises, selfish behaviours, suggesting ideas or projects that will take some years to accomplish while still exhibiting their hurtful traits, feigning to be caring and romantic only when they need sex, pretending to appreciate their spouses using flattery and cajoling them into believing that they mean well. They isolate their wives from family and friends that can influence them. Some of the men do cover up their sinister motives with religious facade etc. Unfortunately, softhearted women who fall for their lies and tricks would regret when it is too late to quit on account of age. At that time, the man will totally relapse into his hard, selfish, vindictive and abusive character without restraints knowing that it is no longer in her interest to quit the marriage no matter how frustrating it may be.”

    Conversely, this scenario also plays out against men. It is even worse for men because such unfortunate men are treated as slaves, rendered financially incapacitated and in some cases, imbecilic. I know a man who became so retarded that he would accompany his wife to the waiting car of her lover. A number of times, he would advise the man to please take care of his wife till the next day in case they finish their ‘meetings’ late because he’s not comfortable with his wife returning home at night. I think you also can cite one or two similar cases you know or you have heard of. While men ‘secure’ their spouses from divorcing them, wicked women do manipulate their men into becoming somebody that can’t challenge or curtail their excesses.

    In conclusion, the octogenarian alluded to the fact that “Nobody throws stones or sticks at fruitless trees. Men will go the extra mile to keep beautiful women of value. They are great assets and blessing to their husbands. Those frustrating and inflicting pains on their spouses should change before it is too late. They may beg, make promises (most of which are usually not fulfilled) and ‘settle’ those who have a say or influence on the spouse’s family but if the abuse continues, the marriage will ultimately collapse. Some men are aware that if their spouses should go, they may likely experience dwindling fortunes thereafter. Warnings like these are the reasons they become desperate and use all means possible to help themselves.”

    • West wrote via mikeawe@yahoo.co.uk

    08035304268

    08059964446

  • Why men of God must run when threatened by women – Adeboye

    Why men of God must run when threatened by women – Adeboye

    General Overseer, Redeemed Christian Church of God, RCCG, Pastor Enoch Adeboye has told men of God not to fight women, but to run when women threatened to deal with them.

    Adeboye, at a special online service on Sunday, cited the case of Elijah and Jezebel to buttress his point.

    “Elijah arrived at Jezreel, sat down in his house and was enjoying the victories that had happened. He had just called down fire from heaven.

    “He had prophesied and prayed and there was rain for the first time in three years. He had brought about national revival. He had outrun the chariot of the King.

    “He was happy but then a message came from the First Lady of the land: ‘I heard what you did on Mount Carmel, I swear to you by my gods by this time tomorrow, you will be like one of the prophets that you killed’. Elijah the great man of God ran, the man who dared four hundred and fifty prophets ran from a woman,” he said.

    Adeboye added: “I know a lot of people have said how could that be? Elijah was very wise. I have told you men of God again and again, don’t fight a woman.

    “If a woman says she is going to deal with you, run. If you learn to run today, you will be alive to fight tomorrow. The African elders have a saying “the one who knows when to fight and when to run is the one they call the champion”. You must know when to fight and when to run.”

    “When Jezebel says “I am coming for you” Elijah did the right thing. He ran,” Adeboye said in a transcribed message by Church Gist.

  • Five men to spend 126 years in prison for drug trafficking offences

    Five men to spend 126 years in prison for drug trafficking offences

    Five men namely; Ndubuisi John, Haruna Aliyu, Saddam Abdullahi, Bashir Usman, and Usman Ibrahim have been sentenced to a total of 126-years imprisonment for trafficking in cocaine and cannabis sativa.

    Their sentence was passed at the Federal High Courts sitting in Abeokuta, Ogun State.

    The five men; Ndubuisi were sentenced by Justice Ogunremi Omowunmi Oguntoyinbo in suit no. FHC/AB/105c/2021.

    The convicts were arrested on the 14th of September 2021 along Lagos -Ibadan expressway conveying 46 bags of Cannabis Sativa weighing 552 kilograms in a truck.

    They were subsequently charged on three counts of transportation, possession and dealing in the illicit drug.

    In her judgment delivered on November 9, Justice Oguntoyinbo, sentenced the 1st, 2nd and 3rd accused persons to 30 years’ imprisonment each while the driver of the truck bagged 21 years and the motor boy/driver’s assistant 15 years in jail.

    While Ndubuisi, Haruna and Saddam were sentenced to 10 years on each count, Bashir got seven years on each count and Usman five years on each count.

    The jail terms are to run concurrently.

  • Sex Palaver: ‘Clergy Are Men Like Others’, By Michael West

    Sex Palaver: ‘Clergy Are Men Like Others’, By Michael West

    By Michael West

     

    I knew before hand that last week’s topic would elicit reactions that would raise some profound underlying issues in the family life of the clergy. The reactions came from the Christian circle more because their issues are much more reported in the media than the others. There are reported cases of divorce involving Christians than the others. One of the reasons it is so is because of monogamous family lifestyle largely embraced and practiced by Christians. They have limited options on how to satisfy their sexual urges beyond the women they married.

     

    Expectedly, torrents of reactions poured in from different sources but more from pastors. Some tried to explain why sex has its place in marriage but it shouldn’t dominate the space. “Is marriage all about sex? Jesus said ‘man shall not live by bread alone’, in this wise, a minister’s wife shall not live by sex alone in marriage. Everything has to be balanced. If a woman cannot adapt to the sex regime of her husband, then she should either pray for the grace to cope or she should quit. Not every woman is graced to marry a minister of the gospel.” That’s an SMS from an Apostolic pastor reacting to the issue.

     

    Another, I guess, a Catholic priest because he identified himself as “Rev. Fr. Anonymous” stated that “the issue of sex is key in marriage. It enhances bonding apart from procreation purposes. Any man called of God should know that he’s expected to fulfil some conjugal obligations to his wife chief of which is sex! It is wrong to starve your wife of sex just because you want to be in the ‘spirit’ for 24 hours. Thanks for stating the truth in your article.”

     

    A woman who claimed she broke up with her Pastor fiancéshortly before their wedding said her mother sat her down and schooled her about what it entailed to be a ‘Mummy Yard’ – meaning a mission house mother. “What scared me the most was the issue of sex. My mom explained that I should never complain if my husband is not readily available for me in bed. His mission work is usually considered the most important. I will lose every right any woman out there can lay claim to because I will be seen as a co-worker in the vineyard of God with my husband. I cannot challenge him or query his actions or inactions. As a minister of God, he’s God’s ambassador who I must adore and obey without reservation. Except for the need of procreation, sex, for committed servants of God, is tantamount to an indulgence.’ These are the things that scared me and I called off the proposed introduction barely three weeks to the date. Sir, I thank God I took that decision. I’m not regretting it at all because I was fortunate to marry my best friend and confidant. Our solid friendship made our marriage the icing on the cake. We relate seamlessly as true friends we have always been over the years. Many people married the status of their spouses while some married their money or spirituality. But by my own experience, whoever marries his/her friend is the one that is fortunate. As for my ex, the Pastor, he’s not doing badly, either, but just like my mom explained, the wife is there enduring. (She laughs).”

     

    A Lagos pastor who preferred to be anonymous sent in a lengthy response and he told me that what he wrote was his own opinion and experience which he said might as well be applicable to many of his contemporaries in church business. Read him:

     

    “Someone posted your article: ‘Sex Palaver: A Raging Storm in Clergy’s Homes’ on one of my church’s platforms. It makes an interesting reading. The issue was hotly debated by members but I didn’t contribute to the discussion because I wanted to know what they think about it. A couple of ministers’ spouses argued passionately in line of your thought, which goes to show the likelihood of their own secret challenges or experiences in their closets. I was able to see beyond the corridor of pulpit that clergymen are not exempted from such matters. As some pastors deny their spouses their bodies so also some wives make their husbands go through hell by denying them access to their bodies. I will give you some examples: a Pastor from another church who took me as a mentor usually complain about his wife’s attitude to him in the bedroom. According to him, his wife would not allow him make love to her in weeks. Sometimes he said he had to call his in-laws to intervene and prevail over the wife before he could enjoy his legitimate right as a husband. This has been his lot in the marriage for years. I’m trusting that your article will effect a positive change in the hearts of such stiff-necked wives.

     

    “A close friend and a senior in ministry is at the verge of filing for divorce overseas just to ward off negative publicity at home in Nigeria. Things are not rosy with many ministers of God contrary to what many people think. First, we are men before we became men of God. We also feel like other men do. Our wives do sometimes become pains in our necks, leaving us with tempting options of misbehaving if not for the mercy of God.

     

    “Sir, men of God are not superhuman naturally speaking but we are supernaturally fortified by His power, anointing and grace. We receive several arrows of temptation from women who may want us to fall into sexual sin. Some do fabricate lies just to blackmail us for failing to yield to their cravings. How about those who have household issues? That you’re a minister of God does not mean you don’t have battles to fight if not over yourself, then, over your children and spouse. How about attacks on our finances? We also go through a lot in our private lives. All these are aside the problems our church members will bring to us and we are mandated to attend to them leaving our own issues aside.

     

    “In view of these, it is not right for any woman to add additional burden to a minister’s situation if indeed she loves God and her husband. Men of God who starve their wives with sex are actually sinning against God. Like you rightly noted, they must strike a balance between their homes and the ministry. In fact, every man’s ministry starts from his home. Family is the nucleus of the church and the larger society. That’s why God instituted family life as the cradle of humanity from the Garden of Eden.”

     

    From the Mailbox

     

    Re: ‘My Husband Torments Me’

     

    Firstly, I’m sensitive to the statement “waiting woman” when it is actually a couple that is waiting. Why should it be called waiting woman as if the man is not part of the waiting? I think this statement or tag on the woman is what makes men think they are not part of the waiting process in a marriage. I think the society should start changing the tag on women.

    No man is doing his wife a favour by staying with her when they’re going through testing periods especially when it concerns children (also no woman is helping her husband) that’s what they signed up for, especially when they both have been certified medically fit to have children but it’s not forthcoming.This is why people going into marriage should clearly define the purpose before entering into it. Imagine a man who wants children and doesn’t even know his state of virility; he would be feeling out of the process when it’s not coming in time. Once you marry someone, you’ve signed a covenant and the real meaning of covenant is deep and serious even the evil world, they don’t joke with covenant whether it favours you or not, how much more God. – Becky Olorunpomi, Lagos.

     

     

    Quote:

    “Things are not rosy with many ministers of God contrary to what many people think. First, we are men before we became men of God. We also feel like other men do. Our wives do sometimes become pains in our necks, leaving us with tempting options of misbehaving if not for the mercy of God.”

     

  • [Devotional] IN HIS PRESENCE: Who do men say you are

    By Oke Chinye

    Read: MATHEW 16:13-20
    Meditation verse:
    “He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” (Mathew 16:15)
    As you interact with people daily, they form impressions about you which inform
    who they think you are. Their opinions – which are entirely dependent on their
    interpretations of what you say and do – may not necessarily be a true
    representation of who you are.

    Whilst Jesus was on earth, He ate with sinners, visited the home of a tax
    collector, ate without washing His hands, healed on the Sabbath and allowed a
    former prostitute to anoint His feet. To Jesus, these were all acts of love- His way
    of saying “I do not condemn but love you”. However, the pious Pharisees and
    Sadducees saw things differently. Based on their own interpretations, they
    called Jesus a wine bibber, breaker of sabbath laws and a friend of sinners and
    outcasts. They even accused Him of heresy when He said He was the son of God.
    Jesus was not distracted by their accusations. He knew who He was and
    remained focused on the task at hand.

    If you are adversely affected by what others say of you or get distracted, you are
    undermining your progress and doing yourself a huge disfavor. The bible says in
    Ecclesiastes 7:21, “do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your
    servant cursing you”. If Jesus was unfairly and wrongly accused, why do you
    suppose you will not be spoken ill of?

    When Jesus wanted to know the truth about what others thought, He asked
    those closest to Him; His disciples, “But who do you say that I am?”. If you truly
    desire to know what others think of you, ask those closest to you and they will
    tell you, warts and all. But be sure to ask those whose judgement you trust.
    Nothing means anything except the meaning we give to it, and the meaning we
    give to things differs based on our lens of interpretation. Do yourself a favor and
    stop whining over what others think about you. You cannot be the most popular
    person on earth. Instead, focus on what God wants you to do. Let Jesus’ example
    encourage you today.

    IN HIS PRESENCE is written by Dcns Oke Chinye, Founder, Rock Teaching Ministry (TRTM)
    For Prayers and Counseling email rockteachingministry@gmail.com
    or call +2348155525555
    For more enquiries, visit: www.rockteachingministry.org

  • Prostate Cancer: Stop being reactive, doctor tells Nigerian men

    Prostate Cancer: Stop being reactive, doctor tells Nigerian men

    Dr. Bassey Nyom of the University of Calabar Teaching Hospital (UCTH), on Wednesday, warned Nigerian men to desist from being reactive in prostate cancer care, but rather seek ways of its prevention.
    Nyom, who gave the warning in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), in Calabar, said it was unfortunate that Nigerians wait until they contract a disease before seeking treatment.
    The doctor who is also a member of the Medical Women Association of Nigeria (MWAN) called on every male, aged 40 and above, to get a Digital Rectile Examination (DRE), to prevent prostate cancer.
    She said DRE was not expensive or painful but a bedside thing in which the doctor sticks his or her fingers in the anus of the man to assess the prostate gland to know if it is benignly large or cancerous.
    According to her, after DRE, the doctor may decide to screen for Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) and Abdominal Pelvic Ultrasound to assess the gland further to determine the stage of the cancer, if found cancerous.
    She maintained that if the stage of the cancer was still early, the man would have to undergo surgery or take chemotherapy drugs for life.
    “DRE is one of the cheapest tests anyone can have, unfortunately, Nigerians are not preventive but reactive, as we wait to contract a disease first before visiting a doctor, which is dangerous.
    “Prostate cancer can be hereditary, but there are no specific known causes other than risk factors such as being a man and over 40 years, a family history, drinking and the use of tobacco.
    “It is important to note that different people that contract the disease show different symptoms such as difficulty in urinating and some may even have a catheter implanted, to enable them pass urine.
    “Others urinate blood, some feel there is still some urine left when they urinate, some even wake up five to ten times every night to urinate only to produce very little quantity of urine and other symptoms,” she said.
    Nyom added that any man with a family history of a male in the family that died of prostate cancer should get tested because early detection still remained the best way remedy for cancer care.
    NAN reports that October is marked as the international breast cancer month, in which awareness is created of the effects of breast cancer and ways to prevent the condition.
  • Why I cannot reveal qualities I want in a man-Ara

    Why I cannot reveal qualities I want in a man-Ara

    Exceptional female drummer, Aralola Olumuyiwa, popularly called Ara stunned many of her fans when she recently revealed that she cannot state the qualities she desires in a man she would get married to.

     

    Speaking during an instagram live session with veteran journalist, Azuh Arinze she said: “When you are in the spotlight you are a target. People can go online, read your interviews, target you, study what you like and use you as a casestudy.I just hope that there are still people who have integrity out there. If I wanted to break people’s home, I would have gotten married. I have a very loud conscience, I am very careful and I know God will give me my own. I am patient. I am a lover girl, I am not moved by material things. I am deep. I am not telling you what I want in a man, when I see him I will know him. This aspect of saying what I want in a man is what they use to come and get me.When I see him, my God will show me.I am not talking about those things again”.

     

    Ara also recounted that at some point in her career a father figure let her down.

    “One person I thought I could hold on to as a friend as a father let me down. My mother came to my rescue at some point”.

     

     

    When asked about the lessons she learnt from that phase of her life, she answered: “Nobody can make you a star unless God makes you a star. But God will not come down, he will send people to position you. I learnt to trust fully in God. Because in those moments where it was just me and my head, I decided to have an imaginary friend that I spoke to.I also learnt to guide my mental space. People should guide their mental space. I see people break down, they are not guiding their mental space. They allow people to finger their brains. Although it’s difficult to know sometimes”.

  • Child Rejection: Men Must be Fathers Indeed, By Michael West

    Child Rejection: Men Must be Fathers Indeed, By Michael West

    By Michael West

     

    The institution of marriage was not intended to be burdensome, endured or challenging by God but our sinful nature, waywardness and intentional disconnect from the principles of holy matrimony have brought the unsavory experiences that characterise many unhappy homes today.

     

    From the available data, shared experiences and regular encounters I have with married people, not a few will choose to quit their marriages and stay single than to continue in “slavery” or endure “torture” just to please the society or satisfy religious hypocrisy. Fundamentally, marriage is meant to be enjoyed as a blissful home for the couple and their children. Does that mean marriage is a bed of roses? Yes! That’s the original plan of God for creating the institution but the reality in our world has put a lie to the awesome divine plans for the institution.

     

    Studies have shown that 14% of married couples are truly happy. It is usually higher than this for the first six months of marriage. 29% of divorced couples are truly happy until such times as they get married again. 44% of cohabiting couples are truly happy. 51% of those who are swingers are truly happy. 62% of rich guys who can afford mistresses are happy. 79% of cheating spouses are happy while they get away with it. 83% of men who have four or more wives are happy, but their wives are not. 95% of people who devote their life to the things they enjoy, and don’t get involved with people who are in any way a distraction, are happy.

     

    According to Stan Hayward, a former Film/TV script writer who compiled the data, these figures are based on a global survey covering 4.9 billion people. He also quoted Mickey Rooney (who married eight times) as saying “If you are going to get married, do it in the morning, then if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.”

     

    In view of this, it is misleading to assume that every “happy” and exquisitely adorned couple is an archetype of a peaceful and fulfilling marriage. Don’t believe everything you see on the surface; inner peace, love and understanding anchored on mutual trust, confidence and friendship remain the bedrock of a successful marriage.

     

    In our clime, we are familiar with marriages among single parents and some of such relationships have been unpleasant and regrettable. Apart from common issues of attitudinal differences and clashes of interests, child rejection is a serious underlying issue that is turning potentially great unions into battlefields and centres of hostility.

     

    It is a lot easier for women to accept their stepchildren, care and flow with them as men don’t really have problem with stepchildren as such but there are cases where some men have rejected their single mom wives to move in with their children. They often insist that the children should go to their fathers and live with them wherever they are. Situations where women maltreat their stepchildren are also common. These scenarios do sow the seed of discord and acrimony in the home which could eventually lead to separation.

     

    Recently, a man who sought counselling on his decision to file for divorce lamented that his wife was making him regret having anything to do with a single mom.

     

    “I married her out of pity. She appeared to have learned a lot in life. She had weathered the storms of life in diverse ways. I was of the opinion that she will be thankful to God for another opportunity to have a home after her initial nasty experience in her failed marriage. Left in the cold with two young children without sustainable means of living, I decided to take her in, catered for her and her children and I later married her because she behaved so well. Little did I know that she was pretending so she could become my wife before acting out her true character. She suddenly became hostile to my children, sent them on errands at the odds hours of the night, abused, insulted and punished them severely at the slightest provocation. The evil was going on unnoticed for months until the day I caught her in the act.

     

    “She became jittery and wanted to trivialise her misdeed by trying to create a diversionary narrative but I insisted that she must admit her wrong deeds which she did. For how long has this been going on? She kept mum and I can’t say either because my children had been intimidated from disclosing anything she did to them. Therefore, it is risky to trust her with my children any further. Meanwhile, I loved and cared for her children like my own biological children. I don’t want to take chances again. Though she’s begging me but will she ever apologise or own up if she’s not caught? As we speak, sir, my children are still in fear to open up to me on how far the silent torture has been going on for fear of being reprimanded by her. It is that bad, sir,” he explained.

     

    Conversely, a 52-year-old father of three is still unmarried after three marital experiments because he doesn’t tolerate children from another man under his roof. Apart from his first marriage which broke in the fourth year, two other women he married were single moms and they didn’t stay long before they quit. It was said that he disliked accepting or accommodating children from another wedlock into his home though he wanted to marry the mothers of the ‘rejected’ children.

     

    His last wife who lamented her frustration before moving out of the marriage narrated how hostile her husband was to her children. “He made me regretted marrying him knowing full well that I’m a single mother. The lesson I learned in the process is never to take anything for granted. If we had discussed and agreed on the issue of our children, I would have known his mind and probably I won’t be involved with him at all. He kept quiet until it was too late for me to quit before he said he didn’t want another man’s children under his roof,” she said.

     

    The man in question, who initially declined to speak with me later retorted: “Is it a must that I must house another man’s children in my house? If the man is late I will understand but he’s alive; tell me why I should be responsible for another man’s children whose father is somewhere enjoying his life? I married the woman and not the children. Even widows sometimes allow their children stay with their in-laws when going into another marriage. I think it is our sentiment that is encouraging irresponsible men to keep breeding children they can’t cater for by deserting their wives at will leaving the burden of caring for the children to their women. Contrary to her accusation, I love children but I hate to take the burden of irresponsible men upon myself. That’s my stand. Thank you.”

     

    Single parents are potential mates in marriage if rightly paired. As the shared experiences have shown, taking things for granted before going into marriage is not advisable. Every issue must be discussed and agreed upon before coming together in order to avoid embarrassing situation that some are facing today. While some may not share the opinion of the man who rejected love children from his wife, the fact remains that men should be responsible and accountable to their responsibilities. As fathers, it is a sin against God and against humanity to abandon their basic functions in their homes. The Word says those who fail to provide for their homes have denied the faith and they’re worse than unbelievers.

     

    It is surprising that some fathers in marriage don’t care for the needs of their children. It is no longer a secret that women toil or labour more over their children which is why they reap and enjoy the benefits and blessings the more. I believe men should love and accept children of single women they want to marry. The logic is simple, children are the heritage of the Lord and He will bless you richly in return if you invest in nurturing and fathering children under your care regardless of who their biological fathers are. Extend same love you have for the woman to God’s heritage (children) she brings into the marriage and you will be happy, blessed and fulfilled.

  • Dogs, sex toys taking men’s place in hearts of women- Tochi

    Dogs, sex toys taking men’s place in hearts of women- Tochi

    Ex-BBNaija housemate, Tochi has said women are gradually substituting men with vices in their lives.

    The reality TV star asserted dogs and sex toys are taking over the places of men in the hearts of women, asking what men could possibly be doing wrong.

    He wrote: “Dogs and sex toys are slowly taking our place in the heart of women, what are we doing wrong?”

    Some social media users have warned Tochi to speak for himself as they do not agree with his assertion.

    Others simply chuckled over his remark while noting cheating may just be the reason for his assertion.

    mrpresidennt said: “My brother speak for yourself oo some of us still dey run am with the inches fam.”

    sauceprince1 wrote: “My guy. You can’t satisfy some women. Some women o! At least 99.9%.”

    finexjuliet stated: “Don’t understand the dogs aspect hmm.”

    iam_v.e.n said: “We are competing in a world of imaginary fantasy. And it would never end well.”

    sabiboy235 wrote: “Oga be specific…Say the women you have been with.”

    iamteddylicious stated: “Una too dey lie and cheat na.”

    womeninportharcourt said: “Hmmmm what did I just read, Bingo bingo please enter your cage no more unnecessary strolling pls.”

    ade_damolee wrote: “Everything my dear!!!… but I don’t understand the dog part sha.”

    bantumasha_vybz_ stated: “You don dey cap rubbish too much lately bro.”

     

  • It’s sexy when men show vulnerability-Juliet Njemanze

    It’s sexy when men show vulnerability-Juliet Njemanze

    Budding actress, Juliet Njemanze has stated that it is sexy for men to show their vulnerability.

    The actress did a video where she spoke of the emotional connection between couples in relationships.

    “I find it really sexy when a man shows vulnerability. I mean, it doesn’t make you any less of a man if you break down your walls and show your emotions. If anything, it makes you really, really sexy,” the actress said.

    “It’s sexy because you accept that you are human; that you have blood running in your veins, a heart that pops.

    “So I don’t know in which world they say men should not show emotions. I mean, it’s okay to cry.

    “It’s okay to show me that you’re sad. It’s okay to show me that you’re happy at the moment.

    “Just stop with all the macho thing. No, leave it alone, leave the macho thing alone and just be a human being.”

    TheNewsGuru recalls that Njemanze had said in an interview that her father didn’t like the idea of her becoming an actress.

    According to her: “My dad didn’t like the idea of his only daughter being an actress but my mother literally pushed me into acting. She was totally behind me”.