Tag: Mother

“What kind of child is you (sic),” the mother asked the daughter who refused to accede to her request.” When the mother insisted on the daughter doing what she considered inappropriate, she fought back: “What kind of mother are you? You are a very wicked mother.”

Some of us would have been shocked, horrified and lost for words to describe a video that trended last week on TikTok and other social media platforms. A content creator accosted a mother and her daughter walking on the street. The content creator told the woman to tell her daughter to kiss his friend for N100,000. Initially, mother and daughter were taken aback by such an unusual and brazen request. Then they realized that the content creator was serious when he brought out the N100,000. Mother’s and daughter’s reactions differed: The devil called greed took over the mother. She urged the daughter to go ahead and kiss a total stranger. Initially, she thought her mother was joking. Then she was mortified when she realized her mother was serious. She vowed she would never accede to her mother’s request. The mother threw herself on the ground. She tried to force the daughter, but she stood her ground.

At a point the daughter even threatened to hit the mother. It was that bad. The content creator asked the mother if she could do it. She said no, but it was okay for the daughter to do it because she(mother) needed the N100,000. Though she claimed that her refusal to do it “is because I am an old woman,” I bet you that this woman would have done it effortlessly where she alone. She even went on to say that her older daughter would have done it for her. So the older daughter is a “good and obedient child,” while the one in the video is a “useless and disobedient” child. These are the parameters with which some parents are raising their children. The deviants in the society are the “good children,” while the ones with morals are laggards.  But that is serious demarketing for the older daughter because people who know her will probably now see her differently because of her mother’s desperation and careless talk.

I was not really shocked by the moral debasement of the woman. I know some mothers and parents do worse things. Three weeks ago, we talked about parents who sell their assets to send their children abroad to do prostitution and parents who buy phones and laptops for their children to do internet fraud. If some parents have their way they will use their children for money rituals. Parents have been reported to sell their own biological children. So what this woman did is not the most heinous of acts. It’s only graphic because it was it was caught on camera. It’s more like the thief who was caught in the act, whereas many other thieves have stolen and got away scot free.

But what happened buttresses my argument that the rot in our society today was not caused by government only. In fact, it starts from the home front. But there is also something very gratifying. Even if some people are raised by parents with defective morals, they don’t necessarily follow their parents’ footsteps. People can chart a different path for themselves. There is a common saying that the “apple does not fall far from the tree,” which is another way of saying that “like mother like daughter.” But thank God not all trees are apples. Some fruits actually fall further from the trees that bore them. That is what this young lady did. She is certainly not an apple fruit, maybe the elder sister the mother mentioned is.

May greed not direct the way we live our lives. The woman said she gets N200,000 monthly from her husband who apparently does not live under the same roof with her. She also does cleaning jobs to supplement the income from her husband, so she probably earns more than three times the N70,000 minimum wage, which many Nigerians earn. It is still a small amount compared to the cost of living, but there are women who get far less every month who will not do the obnoxious thing she did.

My second reaction today is a sordid video in a school. The female student was in the class with some male students (I am sorry; I don’t want to watch the video again to get the accurate number). I do not know what transpired earlier but the male student is apparently a bully. I know them when I see them because I was in school with some of them in primary and secondary school. They are not satisfied until they beat or humiliate their victim. The male student was apparently the aggressor because he went to where the female student was standing. He squared up to her with their bodies touching. It can be interpreted to squaring up for a fight or he wanted the girl’s breasts to touch him. Boys at that age do it for naughty reasons.

A fight broke out with all the male students watching. He slammed the female student to the floor. For a moment, my heart skipped when she lay still before pulling down her uniform to cover her undies which were exposed when she was slammed to the ground. The male students all cheered. Mission accomplished. She has been humiliated and the icing on the cake was seeing her undies. As I watched, so many thoughts and emotions flooded my mind. If she were my daughter…., let me leave it there. This is a public space. Two, schools have to duty of care to your children in their care. Ensure the school understands this duty before you put enrol your children. Three, the girl child and children with disabilities are vulnerable in school. Teach them to be comfortable with who they are; also teach them to be confident and fight for their rights. But they, as expected of all children, should be well mannered. Four, when they are in danger, they should get help quickly instead of endangering their lives. A dead child is gone forever. No matter the punishment meted to the offender, your child is gone forever. Five, teachers should show good example and be role models to the children under their care. Recently, two male teachers in Delta State engaged in a fight-to-death in front of students. What nonsense is that?

To parents, stop rearing future wife beaters. Husbands, if you are tired of your wife, divorce/separation is more honourable than beating her. Your wife/spouse is not a punching bag. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. Be role models to your sons. Mothers, stop treating your sons as if they are superior to their female siblings. Mothers are a major part of this problem. Junior will not wash his plates after eating. The sisters have to do it. He will not participate in domestic chores. At the end, you breed monsters and release them into the society. Parents should give good home training to be their male and female children.

NB: I reacted to the videos on the ground that they are real, not fiction.