TheNewsGuru

Tag: Mother

  • ‘Mum I blame you’ – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    ‘Mum I blame you’ – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    By OZIOMA ONYENWEAKU

    Do you recall the sexual assault case I used as an example last time? I stated there that the girl would not have forgiven her mother if she was eventually violated by her father. A lot of people have asked me why I felt so; and why the girl would blame her mother and not her father.

    Is that also your question? It is not that I ‘feel’ that the girl would blame her mother. I know so. I have interacted and involved a lot in children matters to know so. She, sure, would hate her father for violating her but she would blame her mother and might go as far as hating her mother too; that, I can conveniently tell you. You see, children, have a huge expectation of their mothers; expectation next to what we expect of God.

    Children actually see mothers as capable of doing possibly anything. Mothers can fix anything; virtually everything. I remember when my little boy then asked me to remove his face and give him his sister’s kind of face. Funny, isn’t it? But he was quite serious.

    To him, mum could do it! I found myself sweating. I just did not want to tell him mum wouldn’t be able to do that. However, I handled it perfectly well! I came out victorious! Yeah! (You’ve got to write in if you want to know how I did it without disappointing the boy). Take it from me, children believe mothers have special powers, and unseen eyes all over their bodies to observe and discern what goes on around them. I once asked a girl why she believed her mother should have known about an issue. Her reply? “Is she not a mother?” Children simply want you mothers to pick the clues, observe the signs, and discern the changes. One of the participants at a workshop for girls, in giving a vote of thanks, requested my team and I to plead with mothers to sit up and be more involved in their children’s lives. She bitterly complained that many mothers did not know what went on in their homes, the companies their children kept, the habits they had picked, and (in her words) “and they call themselves ‘mothers’” I believe that mothers are naturally endowed with certain foresight. Mothers are quite observant, quite intuitive, meticulous, and are given to details. It is the application of these natural endowments that stand the mothers out, and make them the pride of the home. We are going to delve more into this.

    Meantime, let us take a look at this true life story as a case study. Rose (name has been changed) was a lively 12 year old girl whose mother was her world. Rose’s father had died before Rose turned 7. Rose was the only child. She had an uncle that she was very fond of. Rose was always at her best any time this uncle visited; she would jump on him, hug him and be all over him. The uncle, on his own part, was showering Rose with many gifts. A loving uncle! On one of his visits, Rose’s mother left Rose and her uncle at home and went to the market. That day the devil struck! Rose was raped by her uncle. Rose cried herself to sleep. When Rose’s mother came back, Rose did not come out of her room to welcome the mother as she was wont to do.

    The uncle was in the sitting room. Rose’s mother had to call out several times before Rose sluggishly came out to greet her mother. When she came out, she smiled at no one and spoke to no one. The mother was surprise, and asked if Rose was not happy that she was back. Rose said nothing. “Maybe, because the big girl just woke up from sleep”, the uncle playfully interjected, and tried touching Rose; Rose cringed and drew away from him. Rose’s mother accepted waking up from sleep to be the reason for the change in attitude, and did nothing.

    That, of course, was the beginning of several sexual abuses that Rose suffered at the hand of her uncle. Rose grew to hate her mother. What do you think could be Rose’s reason for hating her mother over the rape incident? Can you identify the underlying cause of what happened between Rose and her uncle? Do you see this case as revealing any area for parents to work on in safeguarding their children against sexual abuse? Please write in. See you next week. Stay safe.

  • Popular dancer, Kaffy loses mother

    Popular dancer, Kaffy loses mother

    Revered Nigerian dancer and choreographer, Kafayat Shafau-Ameh better known as Kaffy, has lost her mum. She passed on at the age of 82.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CAmARV2hr7Z/

     

    Kaffy made this known on Monday via her Instagram page.

    Sharing a video of herself dancing with her late mother, Kaffy wrote: ”Mama has gone to Rest! #82”.

    Kaffy’s dancing career took off after she went to an event to perform onstage by someone who spotted her when she used to go to the National Stadium during weekends for dance rehearsals and workouts.

    In 2006, Kaffy led her dance group to break the Guinness Book of Record for “Longest Dance Party” after they danced for 55hours and 40minutes.[4] She is currently a dance instructor who has developed innovative visualisation-based methods for teaching dance and dance fitness in an accelerated-learning format

     

  • It’s difficult combining marriage and motherhood – Tonto Dikeh

    It’s difficult combining marriage and motherhood – Tonto Dikeh

    Nollywood actress Tonto Dikeh has said that combining the tasks of marriage and motherhood is a difficult in today’s society.

    The single mother of one made this known on Sunday, May 10 in commemoration of Mother’s Day celebration.

    Tonto wrote in a long caption that Mother’s Day “is a day to salute the strength of mothers”.

    She said “from the inception of pregnancy — the hormonal imbalance, weird cravings, and mood swings that come throughout the gestation period. It’s not a walk in the park to be a mom. Vaginal birth is painful, CS isn’t any less painful – motherhood is indeed a sacrifice. It is something a lot of mothers don’t recover from. Childbirth. And this is why you should carry your body with confidence. Those marks are stripes of your honor and strength.”

    Continuing, she wrote, “today I’m celebrating every single mom too. It’s hard to be a married mother in this society already, how much more single moms who have to go extra miles to provide for their children? Single moms who are stigmatized by society; shamed and scornfully laughed at. Single moms who are seen as second class women — I celebrate you today.

    “In most cases, they walked out of a deadbeat father; they left an abusive partner; they made the choice to prioritize their sanity and peace. I’m proud of you. And to every mother who’s stuck in a bad marriage just because it’s expected of her. I’m here to tell you that motherhood is not the symbol of suffering. Stop self-sabotaging. Stop minimizing your peace. Find the courage to leave any marriage that doesn’t serve your interests too. That time is over when we had to take anything just to be called mothers. We have broken that generational curse, and we are putting ourselves first.

    “Happy Mothers to every mother. single or married, or widowed, you are a superhero. You collaborated with God to bring forth another human; that’s something to be endlessly proud of. Thank You King Andre Dikeh because of you I am called mother.”

    Tonto Dikeh was briefly married to Churchill Olakunle with whom she had a son, Andre, before parting ways over irreconcilable differences. Dikeh’s marriage to Olakunle is riddled with various allegations that include drug abuse, and abusive relationship.

  • Mama Buratai: Exit of a mother who gave her son to the nation

    Mama Buratai: Exit of a mother who gave her son to the nation

    By Abubakar Tsav

    Nigeria’s Chief of Army Staff, Lt. General Tukur Yusuf Buratai on Tuesday, lost his mother, Kakah Hajiya Hauwa Yusuf Buratai after a brief illness at her home in Maiduguri, the Borno State capital.

    The death of the Buratai matriarch, is coming two years after the patriarch of the Buratai family, Alhaji Yusuf Buratai, a veteran of World War II, who joined the West African Army in 1942, passed on in February 2018.

    The Buratai family having lost two strong pillars in the past two years must indeed be grieved by the irretrievability of the losses and the sad reality their absence portends.

    The death of Mama Buratai, though painful has however reminded us of the deep sacrifices and forfeiture of personal comfort the Nigerian military in the bid to secure our lands and ensure the rest of us stay safe pass through.

    For at the time that Mama passed on peacefully, her son, Lt. Gen. Buratai was in the trenches fighting what has become like a cancer in the body of the country, Boko Haram and ISWAP terrorism.

    Buratai is currently in his native Borno State overseeing military operations to defeat terrorism and insurgency in Nigeria.

    He has been engaging the Boko Haram and ISWAP terrorists that have since 2009 taken up arms against the Nigerian state and whose activities have resulted in the death of thousands including women and children, displaced and scattered many families and destroyed property and basic infrastructure including hospitals and schools that are too numerous to be quantified in a fierce battle.

    Buratai, to effectively decapitate this scourge, has since March this year, relocated to the theaters of war and has been leading the battle from the front.

    His presence at the battlefield had spruced up the courage of the fighting troops spiking up the number of wins being recorded at the Lake Chad region.

    Within the first week of his relocation to the Northeast, over a hundred of the insurgents were brought down and subsequent military operations have also brought out better results with over 500 of the terrorists liquidated in less than two months.

    It is to the credit of the Chief of Army Staff that the insurgents for the first time since they declared war on Nigeria and other neighbouring African countries, began to cry for mercy and to send signals that they are considering the act of surrender.

    As Nigerians and other lovers of peace the world over cheered to this news, many forgot that the soldiers in the field, whom many have derided in the past, also have their lives to live and that they also are responsible family men like many of us and would have preferred they are with their families.

    But the need to secure the country and make life meaningful for the citizenry and to facilitate development has trumped all other desires and wishes.

    The death of the Buratai matriarch while her son was in the trenches, tells the story of our gallant soldiers.

    Perhaps Mama wanted to draw our attention to the plight of the average military personnel on the battlefield and to remind us to keep them in our prayers, that was why she passed on as such an auspicious time.

    Like the other mothers whose cries cannot be heard, she has donated her son to the cause of serving humanity and motherland.

    President Muhammadu Buhari acknowledged this much when he commiserated with the Chief of Army Staff over the death of his mother.

    In a statement signed by Garba Shehu, the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Media and Publicity, the President prayed that the Almighty God will comfort Lt. Gen. Buratai, who he said has been at the epicenter of war against terrorists in North East, urging the family to find solace in Hajiya Hauwa’s good works.

    He also prayed the Almighty God will receive the soul of the departed matriarch, who he said lived a pious, prayerful, and generous life.

    Those who knew Mama Buratai, described her as kind hearted and generous mother who assisted many.

    “We remember your fond love, years of toil, endurance and perseverance while alive. Naturally, your affectionate love drained sorrows from the hearts of many; comforted the millions of wailing souls around you.

    “We remember and will miss your comforting counsels in our moments of torments. Your sagacity transcended boundaries and brought comfort to the known and unknown. Mama, your translucent piousness, generous lifestyle and care would forever be etched on our memories,” said one of them in a glowing tribute.

    Mama Buratai was said to have been very supportive of her son and had even expressed optimism that her son would bring the insurgency in the country to an end.

    This shows she has been a supportive mother who knowing the qualities she has imparted in her son, had the confidence to know where his capabilities could take him.

    That she did not cringe and cry when her son was at the battlefield, must have been the secret to the confidence exuded by the Chief of Army Staff which had in turn rubbed off on the troops and had kept them going resulting in the current series of successes being recorded at the battlefield.

    President Buhari, the Nigerian armed forces and indeed all Nigerians would miss your motherly support to the nation.

    We can only hope that after all these years of standing as a pillar unto your son, your demise will not diminish the spark in him but would in respect to your loving memory, serve to urge him on to finally bring the battle against insurgency and terrorism in Nigeria to an end.

    Rest in peace Mama as we pray that God grants you Jannatul Firdaus.

    Tsav wrote this tribute from Makurdi, Benue State.

  • Adieu, Mama Buratai in heavenly bliss!

    Adieu, Mama Buratai in heavenly bliss!

    By Adam Biu

    “But let them sleep Lord, and I mourn a space;
    For, if above all these, my sins abound,
    ‘Tis late to ask abundance of thy grace,
    When we are there. Here on this lowly ground,
    Teach me how to repent; for that’s as good
    As if thou hadst sealed my pardon with thy blood”-John Donne (1572-1631)

    John Donne has pungently and poetically kept reminding us about the inevitable eventuality of the mortality of human beings on earth. The reality of death, especially for beloved ones, sends nervous emotions. It pains and I mean; a deep pain that touches the marrow and appears permanent.

    But, it is a divine order from Almighty Allah (S.W.T):.The birth of a child brings joy, but the death brings sadness. Tears have never solved the mystery of death for us, the bereaved. But mourning is the only human antidote which lessens our grief and purges the pains death inflicts on us.

    Today, Nigeria is mourning the passage to eternal glory of Mama, Hajiya Hauwa Yusuf Buratai, whom the cold hands of death snatched from us. The matriarch of the Buratai family, you have left us too soon, mama! How I wish, Almighty Allah (S.W.T) would have extended the grace of longevity to you.

    But Almighty Allah (S.W.T) knows why and we think, you are safer in His hands than in this sinful world caging us with countless afflictions and the latest being Coronavirus! But I know, your spirit is on us.

    All through lifetime Mama, you lived a worthy life as a wife, mother, auntie, sister and pillar of the downtrodden in communities around the North. We know you as a compassionate mother, a woman of virtue, community mobilizer, the pillar of the needy and epitome of excellence.

    Not long ago, we mourned the passing unto glory of the patriarch of the Buratai family, World War II veteran, Mallam Yusuf Buratai. We are still weeping even as we found consolation in your warm embrace and today, you are gone, Mama!

    Tears have not yet dried on our faces and today, we are in tears over demise. Oh destiny, you are very cruel to us the people of Biu village/LGA, Borno and indeed, all Nigerians are in sorrow over the sudden passage of the matriarch of the Buratais. But you are above death. Rather you have conquered the mystery of death eternally.

    Mama, you came into the world as a heroine and departed as a heroine. We remember your fond love, years of toil, endurance and perseverance while alive. Naturally, your affectionate love drained sorrows from the hearts of many; comforted the millions of wailing souls around you. Words are not enough to express exactly millions.

    We remember and will miss your comforting counsels in our moments of torments. Your sagacity transcended boundaries and brought comfort to the known and unknown. Mama, your translucent piousness, generous lifestyle and care would forever be etched on our memories.

    But I say again that our Matriarch and indeed, the Buratai family have conquered death. Mama, your sojourn on earth has brought solace and freedom to millions of enslaved Nigerians. In you Mama, I met a compassionate mother, who cares for everyone around her.

    I miss your counsel and the last time, I visited you in the village, you told me that your son, Gen. Buratai would end Boko Haram terrorism in Nigeria, no matter the forces frustrating the efforts of the Nigerian Army. It was not a mere wish, but prayers Almighty Allah has granted.

    I believed you absolutely Mama and it is happening already. There are clear signs that your son, Gen. Buratai, leader of the counter-insurgency operations in Nigeria, a rare gift to Nigeria’s military will end the torment of Boko Haram insurgency and ISWAP terrorism in Nigeria very soon.

    I keep wailing and will keep crying at your demise because the cold hands of death have snatched you away from us, just before the hour of total victory against Boko Haram. I refuse to be comforted because you are no longer alive to relish this victory with Nigerians.

    How I wish Almighty Allah (S.W.T) would have preserved your life to be one of those to receive the national plaque of honour, and garlands of triumph of the Nigerian Army over Boko Haram and ISWAP terrorists. But Almighty Allah has done His will. I am a mere mortal to question His will. He knows better. But it is painful!

    But Mama, you are not dead! You will live forever in our psyche. An English poet and world acclaimed founder of metaphysical poetry, John Donne, says in a poetic verse titled; “At the round earth’s imagined corners” (Holy Sonnet 7), which says;

    “At the round earth’s imagined corners, blow
    Your trumpets, angels, and arise, arise
    From death, you numberless infinities
    Of souls, and to your scattered bodies go,
    All whom the flood did, and fire shall, o’erthrow,
    All whom war, dearth, age, agues, tyrannies,
    Despair, law, chance, hath slain, and you whose eyes,
    Shall behold God, and never taste death’s woe.”

    Mama, President Buhari and Nigerians feel the pains of your sudden death. Our President sent a condolence and consolation message to your son, Gen. Buratai conveying all the emotional pains he feels over your sudden demise. Let me quote a portion from it verbatim through the public statement by his media aide, Malam Garba Shehu. It states;

    “President Buhari also prayed that the Almighty God would comfort Lt.-Gen. Buratai, who has been at the epicenter of war against terrorists in North East, urging the family to find solace in Hajiya Hauwa’s good works.”

    I am touched by these words. They have consoled me that you are still alive, Mama! But like late Baba Buratai believed and you actively supported; “…mankind must be freed from the excesses of satanic souls.” Mama, your son, Gen. Buratai has kept every word of his late father, your husband, who told him at a tender age when he enlisted into the Nigerian Army that; “…be loyal to your superiors and constituted authority.”

    Before his death, Baba Buratai confessed that Gen. Buratai obeyed every word of his father in service of the nation. And today, he is performing wonders in the frontlines on Boko Haram/ISWAP terrorism in the protection of the sovereignty and territorial integrity of our cherished country, Nigeria. Gen. Buratai, your son is a sacrificial lamb for the freedom of Nigeria. May you find favour in the warm embrace of Almighty Allah.

    Mama, like a verse in the song of the Afro-American music maestro, Tony Gaye, mourning the death of his elder brother, Marvin Gaye; “our mother, you are gone, but your spirit is with us.”

    Adieu, Mama. Bye and bye, until we meet to part no more!

    Adam wrote this tribute from Biu, Borno State.

  • Rashidi Yekini’s mom not abandoned, Son’s lawyer

    Mr Jubril Mohammed, an Ibadan based lawyer and legal adviser to late Super Eagles’ striker, Rashidi Yekini, on Friday stated that the star player’s mother never lacked any care.

    Mohammed made the remark during an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), while reacting to speculations that his former client’s mother had been abandoned and left to suffer.

    Mohammed stressed that Mrs Sikiratu Yekini had caused a lot of confusion to the public about her true condition and state of health.

    “As a very close friend of the family, I am not aware of any form of hardship or misfortune which Yekini’s mother is undergoing.

    “Long before his demise, my friend, Yekini had made solid preparation for his mother’s care.

    “He built a two story apartment containing five flats which were rented out to people and the mother collects the money directly.

    “In addition, a warehouse where provision of all sorts was stocked for sale was constructed for her.

    “Besides, two shops were built by the house for her to sell her provisions.

    “Also, governments of Oyo and Osun States made huge monetary donations to her when Yekini just died.

    “Furthermore, philanthropists like former Kwara State governor, Mr Bukola Saraki, gave her an undisclosed amount of money, just like many journalists raised money for her living.

    “In fact, an arrangement was made for her to appear on a TV programme: Who wants To Be a Millionaire, where a huge sum of money was given to her,” Mohammed said.

    However, the lawyer pointed out that he did not know the motive behind the old woman’s attitude.

    Also, a veteran sport journalist in Ibadan, Ayo Ademokoya, stated that he had worked with many people to ensure that Yekini’s mother was well catered for.

    Ademokoya also alleged that she had connived with some people to help her feign as if she had been abandoned so as to get public sympathy.

    NAN reports that the Minister of Youths and Sports, Mr Sunday Akindare, as well as the Nigeria Football Federation (NFF), recently announced that a total monthly allowance of N40,000 would each be paid to the mothers of two deceased football stars.

    While the ministry plegded N10,000, NFF also promised N30,000 as monthly upkeep allowances each for Yekini and Samuel Okwaraji’s mothers.

  • Buhari’s aide loses mother

    The Senior Special Assistant to the President on Job Creation and Youth Employment, Mr. Afolabi Imoukhuede, has lost his mum, Mrs. Olubunmi Olayinka Imoukhuede, nee Olusoga. She was aged 75.

    Announcing the death via a statement by the family of late Chief Joseph Enaifoghe Imoukhuede, whose patriarch, late Joseph, was the first non-Yoruba permanent secretary in the civil service of the old Western Region and the first Secretary to Government and Head of the Civil Service of the Midwest, the late matriarch, popularly known as Sisi, died on Friday, May 1, 2020.

    Sisi Olubunmi was born 75 years ago in Lagos Island to the families of Mr. Gabriel and Mrs. Yetunde Olusoga of Ijebu descent in Ogun State. She was part of the pioneer set of the prestigious May Flower School, Ikenne, Ogun State in the late 50s.

    “Sisi was an extremely quiet, cheerful, and peace loving lady; a simple fashionable lady who was always wearing her smiles to all and sundry at all times even in deep hurtful pains. She was a humanitarian par excellence and a deep lover of God. A staunch member of the St. Johns Church, Aroloya, Lagos from her childhood, she would be deeply missed by all both young and old,” the family said in the statement.

    She is survived by her children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, aunties and uncles, amongst whom is Mr. Afolabi Imoukhuede the Senior Special Assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari on Job Creation and Youth Employment. The statement further stated that burial arrangements would be announced later.

  • Driver sentenced to death for murdering employer’s mother

    Driver sentenced to death for murdering employer’s mother

    Justice Mojisola Dada of the Lagos State Special Offences Court, on Monday, sentenced a driver, Olalekan Hameed, to death for killing his employer’s 76-year-old mother, Jolasun Okunsanya.

    Justice Dada gave the judgment in a virtual court session approved by the state Chief Judge, Justice Kazeem Alogba, in line with the Lagos State Judiciary remote hearing of cases during COVID-19 pandemic period practice direction.

    The court session, which was held via a video app, Zoom, began around 11am and had all the relevant parties in attendance.

    The 34-year-old Hameed was arraigned on two counts of stealing the sums of $117 and N950,000 from his employer’s room on December 1, 2018, and strangling the deceased after she caught him in the act of stealing.

    According to the trial, the convict committed the offences around 12.30pm on Plot 83 Owukori Crescent, Alaka Estate, in the Surulere area of the state.

    During the trial, the prosecution called several witnesses and tendered exhibits, including the coroner’s report, the recovered money and the convict’s statement to the police.

    However, Hameed told the court that he only stole N1,000 and had nothing to do with the victim’s death.

    Justice Dada held that the witnesses’ claim that Hameed was the only one with the deceased at the time of death and that he was also seen scaling the fence of his employer’s house were not disproved.

    She said, “It is also a fact that although the defendant went to the house of the employer to steal, the surprise of the deceased stumbling upon him led him to not just push the deceased, but strangle her in a bid to keep her from crying out.

    “The case is clear. I have not found any contradiction with the evidence of the prosecution witness that can be deemed material or weighty enough to cast any doubt on the case of the prosecution against the defendant in this case. The facts of the case are incompatible with the innocence of the defendant, but rather, his guilt on the two counts.

    “The defendant is hereby found guilty of the count two of murder and is hereby convicted as charged and accordingly sentenced to death.

    “The sentence of this court upon you, Olalekan Hameed, is that you be hanged by the neck until you are pronounced dead; may the Lord have mercy upon your soul. This is the virtual judgment of the court.”

     

  • JUST IN: Adamawa Governor, Ahmadu Fintiri loses mother

    JUST IN: Adamawa Governor, Ahmadu Fintiri loses mother

    Hajia Fatimah Umar Badami, the mother of Governor Ahmadu Fintiri of Adamawa state, has passed on.

    She was 68 years old.

    According to a statement from the Adamawa State Government, Hajiya Fatimah Badami died Wednesday at the Federal Medical Centre, Yola, after a protracted illness.

    The statement signed by the Director-General of Media and Communication, Government House, Mr Solomon Kumangar, said the late Hajiya Fatimah Umar Badami is survived by Governor Fintiri, four grandchildren, siblings and other relations.

    “Her death at this critical moment creates a huge vacuum not only for the immediate family but the entire State. She was a strong pillar in her community, a disciplinarian and devout Muslim,” the statement said.

    It added, “The Governor has taken the death in his stride but will require the prayers of all citizens for God to grant the mother peaceful repose while granting him the fortitude to bear the great loss.”

  • Buhari mourns as DSS DG loses mother in Kano

    Buhari mourns as DSS DG loses mother in Kano

    Hajiya Kareematu Abubakar Bichi, the mother of the Director-General of the Department of States Services, DSS, Yusuf Magaji Bichi, is dead.

    President Muhammadu Buhari on Sunday commiserated with Bichi, the DG of DSS, on the death of his mother Hajiya Kareematu Abubakar Bichi.

    In a tribute to the late community leader and matriarch, who died at the age of 96 in Bichi, Kano State, the President said: “I am deeply anguished by the passing away of Hajiya Kareematu, an important family and community leader. She will be remembered for her untiring efforts to unite the family and promote peace in her community.”

    The President prays that Almighty Allah will receive Hajiya Bichi’s soul and grant the deceased family and friends the fortitude to bear the loss.