TheNewsGuru

Tag: Parents

  • ‘Mum I blame you’ – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    ‘Mum I blame you’ – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    By OZIOMA ONYENWEAKU

    Do you recall the sexual assault case I used as an example last time? I stated there that the girl would not have forgiven her mother if she was eventually violated by her father. A lot of people have asked me why I felt so; and why the girl would blame her mother and not her father.

    Is that also your question? It is not that I ‘feel’ that the girl would blame her mother. I know so. I have interacted and involved a lot in children matters to know so. She, sure, would hate her father for violating her but she would blame her mother and might go as far as hating her mother too; that, I can conveniently tell you. You see, children, have a huge expectation of their mothers; expectation next to what we expect of God.

    Children actually see mothers as capable of doing possibly anything. Mothers can fix anything; virtually everything. I remember when my little boy then asked me to remove his face and give him his sister’s kind of face. Funny, isn’t it? But he was quite serious.

    To him, mum could do it! I found myself sweating. I just did not want to tell him mum wouldn’t be able to do that. However, I handled it perfectly well! I came out victorious! Yeah! (You’ve got to write in if you want to know how I did it without disappointing the boy). Take it from me, children believe mothers have special powers, and unseen eyes all over their bodies to observe and discern what goes on around them. I once asked a girl why she believed her mother should have known about an issue. Her reply? “Is she not a mother?” Children simply want you mothers to pick the clues, observe the signs, and discern the changes. One of the participants at a workshop for girls, in giving a vote of thanks, requested my team and I to plead with mothers to sit up and be more involved in their children’s lives. She bitterly complained that many mothers did not know what went on in their homes, the companies their children kept, the habits they had picked, and (in her words) “and they call themselves ‘mothers’” I believe that mothers are naturally endowed with certain foresight. Mothers are quite observant, quite intuitive, meticulous, and are given to details. It is the application of these natural endowments that stand the mothers out, and make them the pride of the home. We are going to delve more into this.

    Meantime, let us take a look at this true life story as a case study. Rose (name has been changed) was a lively 12 year old girl whose mother was her world. Rose’s father had died before Rose turned 7. Rose was the only child. She had an uncle that she was very fond of. Rose was always at her best any time this uncle visited; she would jump on him, hug him and be all over him. The uncle, on his own part, was showering Rose with many gifts. A loving uncle! On one of his visits, Rose’s mother left Rose and her uncle at home and went to the market. That day the devil struck! Rose was raped by her uncle. Rose cried herself to sleep. When Rose’s mother came back, Rose did not come out of her room to welcome the mother as she was wont to do.

    The uncle was in the sitting room. Rose’s mother had to call out several times before Rose sluggishly came out to greet her mother. When she came out, she smiled at no one and spoke to no one. The mother was surprise, and asked if Rose was not happy that she was back. Rose said nothing. “Maybe, because the big girl just woke up from sleep”, the uncle playfully interjected, and tried touching Rose; Rose cringed and drew away from him. Rose’s mother accepted waking up from sleep to be the reason for the change in attitude, and did nothing.

    That, of course, was the beginning of several sexual abuses that Rose suffered at the hand of her uncle. Rose grew to hate her mother. What do you think could be Rose’s reason for hating her mother over the rape incident? Can you identify the underlying cause of what happened between Rose and her uncle? Do you see this case as revealing any area for parents to work on in safeguarding their children against sexual abuse? Please write in. See you next week. Stay safe.

  • One advantage of Covid-19 lockdown we must take – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    One advantage of Covid-19 lockdown we must take – Ozioma Onyenweaku

    By Ozioma Onyenweaku

    COVID-19 is one pandemic that has shocked the whole world bringing all human activities to a standstill; grounded all activities, and directed all attention to itself.

    How to curb COVID-19 has become the sole goal and direction of all human activities. All the expensive and state-of-the art vehicles, all the private jets, and all, are all parked, and gathering dust; and all the designer clothes no longer make any meaning and matter no more since there is nowhere to go to, no functions to attend, and no more shows! Everything has suddenly proved to be vanity! Our only desire now is to keep breathing. Man’s preoccupation now is to ensure that we keep breathing.

    I have come to a realization now, that there is basically one common basic need of mankind, old and young, rich and poor, black and white: the need to breathe.

    After all, you need to breathe to be able to need and long for food, shelter and clothing which hitherto have been termed the basic needs of man. As Covid-19 collapses all human structures, one structure stands, and stands as a refuge, the home. To fight this monster, we can only, and must, be home to contain the spread of the virus.

    As the home is the only refuge, then it is time to repair the roofs, mend the walls and fill up all holes, figuratively, speaking. Time to bond with family members and rekindle any dying affection.

    It is important to use this opportunity to give the home front the attention it deserves. Before now, the harsh economic situation, and the struggle by parents to make ends meet have resulted in the neglect of the homefront.

    Now we have ample time on our hands now to remedy that. Parents, this is the time to pay attention and tend to the beautiful flowers with which God has adorned our lives and homes, that is, the children. Do you know that while you were out there working, your children might have picked up some bad habits without you knowing? Make use of this time to tactfully find out and see how to readjust them.

    Use this time too to find out those hidden distresses, fears and anxieties of the children. Use this time to peer into their affairs, and be involved. Could it be possible that your child was/is being abused and bullied at home or school? This is time to find out. Do please find out. Make effective use of this opportunity to teach your children those little life lessons they need in order to grow up to responsible adults.

    I know you have always desired to do that but for time; now the time is here with the COVID-19 lockdown. Do you still remember that research has shown that about 80% of child sexual abuses take place in the child’s home, and are perpetrated by the people the child knows and is close to?

    The perpetrators could include the fathers, the uncles, family friends, family doctors, lesson teachers, pastors, domestic workers and the list goes on. Is your home safe and protective of the child from sexual abuse and molestation? You have all the time in your hand now to x-ray your home to ascertain how safe your home is for the child. The home is meant to be a haven for every child. What are the signs you can look out for to ascertain if your child is a victim of sexual abuse and molestation? Look out for the next article.

    Meanwhile, let me officially introduce and welcome you to THE WOCH SPACE where we shall be delving into issues that relate to women and children including their rights, their welfare and protection. We shall also be bringing news and events, the bad, the good and the ugly as they relate to, and touch on, women and children in our society. So that at the good, we give ourselves the thumbs up, we work at correcting the bad while frowning at the ugly ones so as to make a better space for women and children in our society. You are welcome. Keep a tap here. Till our next meeting here, maintain social distancing. Stay home. Stay safe.

    THE WOCH SPACE With OZIOMA ONYENWEAKU ozynweaku@gmail.com

  • Buhari commiserates with parents of murdered UNIPORT students, says killers will be brought to book

    Buhari commiserates with parents of murdered UNIPORT students, says killers will be brought to book

    President Muhammadu Buhari has commiserated with the families of three University of Port Harcourt students reportedly murdered by their kidnappers and their bodies buried in a shallow grave in April.

    He said the killers must be apprehended and made to face the wrath of the law.

    The President also extended condolences to the university authorities and the Rivers State Government over the unfortunate incident.

    Describing the tragic occurrence as “sad and heinous,” Buhari regretted that the “evil perpetrators have cut short the prospectively bright journey of these youths.”

    He prayed that God would comfort all those who mourned these young students, and grant their souls eternal rest.

    Buhari, while noting that the Nigerian Police Anti-Kidnapping Unit has apprehended one of the suspected perpetrators, further directed the Police Authorities to intensify search for the remaining suspects and bring them to justice.

    According to the President, “This administration will continue to equip the law enforcement and security agencies to bring to an end the evil activities of kidnappers in the country.”

     

  • After Six Years in Captivity, Government is intentionally negligent, parents of abducted Chibok girls lament

    Parents of the remaining 112 abducted school girls of government secondary school Chibok Borno state said the Nigerian government have neglected them.

    Yesterday, Monday April 14 makes it exactly six years since the Boko Haram insurgents whisked away the girls numbering 276. 57 of the girls however escaped while 107 of the girl were released in deal between the Nigerian government and the insurgents.

    Speaking with the Hausa service of the British Broadcasting corporation (BBC Hausa), Spokesperson for the Kibaku Area Development Association (Chibok Community), Dr Allen Manasseh, said that some of the parents of the remaining abducted girls have become sick due to restlessness and have subsequently died due to frustration. “It’s even better to be told that your daughter have been killed, that will make you cry and forget and won’t be thinking again, but in this case, no one is telling us anything…this is very frustrating…” Manasseh said. “….All the promises the government made to release the girls have not been fulfilled this creates alot of worries to the parents” he added.

    Dr Manasseh whose two cousin sisters are among the remaining abducted girls told the BBC how he lost his aunt i.e mother of the girls because of frustration. “….Although some few of my sister made the list of the 82 released girls, I still have two cousin sisters; my Aunty’s children still in Captivity, they are twins, one is called Rebecca, the other is called Sarah, they where all abducted 6 years ago and their mum (my aunt) died as a result of frustration. She was the first to die among parents of the abducted girls” Manasseh said.

    Dr Manasseh emotionally explained to the BBC how he was so closed to the twin girls before their abduction 6 years ago recalling how he used to buy them provisions whenever the are resuming to school. He said the Nigerian government has intentionally neglected his family and other parents of the abducted Chibok school girls. “…Since the abduction, no one has spoken to the parents of the abducted girls… atleast the government should once in a while speak to the parent….They don’t necessarily need to make promises, their consolation means alot to the parents….” Manasseh added.

    Asked to react on the recent claim by government that it is working hard to bring back the girls, Manasseh said that the chibok community totally disagree with the government saying the government is lying. “…. Why are they just saying this now, it’s been six years since the girls have been abducted and the government only talk deceptively during events, this is bad….if they can be talking to the parents time to time atleast it will lessen the pains” Manasseh said.

    The abduction of the 276 girls have become a global issue that led to the emergence of he “Bring Back Our Girls(BBOG)” movement in Nigeria.

  • How our parents’ deaths further united us – Nnamdi Kanu’s family

    The family of the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), Nnamdi Kanu said that the death of their parents have them to be more united against the belief by some persons that the family would scatter after the burial.

    Though their elder brother, Nnamdi who is the first son of the family was absent at their parent’s burial ceremony, the family of late Israel and Ugoeze Sally Kanu said that they were grateful that the burial of their parents was a huge success.

    Addressing journalists at their Isiama Afaraukwu country home, the spokesman of the family, Kanunta Kingsley Kanu thanked Abia State police command and journalists for their contributions towards the peaceful and successful burial of their parents.

    Kanunta who also commended members of the IPOB in the state and beyond who stood with the family before, during and after the burial said that their parents were an embodiment of peace when they were alive.

    He said it was for this reason that his father as the traditional ruler of Afaraukwu, was given the title of ‘Omeudo’, stressing that he lived with that peaceful virtue till death.

    Kanunta said the family owed a lot of gratitude to journalists within and outside Abia for bringing what transpired at the burial to the entire world.

    “I want to tell you journalists that our family members are happy with you, with what you did during the burial and we say a big thank you”.

    Kanu said the family was also thanking the Abia state police command for the manner they conducted themselves which contributed to the peace that reigned during the burial.

    The family said it was happy that despite the altercation between the police and IPOB before the burial, the commissioner of police, Ene Okon exhibited true sense of professionalism in the way he maintained security in the state on the day of the burial.

    He said now their parents were no more, the family would strive to remain united and resolute in the fight for the actualization of Biafra, a movement which they said that their parents believed in.

  • IPOB alleges hijack of 40 mourners attending Nnamdi Kanu’s parents’ burial

    The Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) on Friday said three buses conveying mourners attending the burial of the parents of its leader, Nnamdi Kanu in Afaraukwu, Umuahia, Abia state were hijacked by Nigerian soldiers.
    The Media and Publicity Secretary of the group, Emma Powerful, said the bus containing no fewer than 40 persons, coming from Aba, Igweocha and Owerri were hijacked at Ubakala Junction area of Abia state.
    The group also accused Facebook Nigeria of collaborating with the Nigerian army and police to prevent dissemination of live video coverage of events on their platform.
    The statement reads: “As the provocation, harassment, intimidation, kidnapping and arrest of mourners continue unabated along Enugu-Igweocha (Port Harcourt) Expressway, there are confirmed reports that 3 Coaster buses conveying mourners to Afaraukwu were hijacked by Nigerian soldiers at Ubakala Junction.
    “We hope the world can see what these vandals in uniform are doing and duly taking note for future reference.
    “Facebook Nigeria it appears are working hand in hand with the murderous Nigerian army and police, that failed woefully in the fight against Boko Haram in the north, by preventing real time dissemination of live video coverage of events on their platform, thereby aiding and abating human rights abuses in Biafraland.”
    The group called for their immediate release to enable them proceed to the burial ceremony.

  • 12 year-old boy commits suicide in Imo over parents death

    A 12-year old boy has committed suicide in Agboala Ishiala Umudi autonomous community in Nkwerre council area of Imo State following the death of his parents.

    The boy, identified as Kasarachi Odurukwe, was until his death last Wednesday, a primary six pupil of Practicing School, Umudi.

    He committed suicide by hanging himself on a rope on an Indian bamboo tree.

    According to village sources, the boy and two younger siblings had lost his parents and had been living with their mother’s sister in that village.

    It was gathered that the deceased had been complaining of how boring the world had been to him.

    One of the villagers said the boy would “jokingly tell his mates that he wants to die and meet his mother in heaven”.

    It was gathered that on that Wednesday, Kasarachi had led his two siblings and two other kids to a nearby stream to fetch water.

    On arrival to the stream, Kasarachi was said to have assisted the other children to fill their cans while he used a long stick to check the dept of the stream.

    One of the sources told newsmen, “Having not been satisfied with the shallow dept of the water, the deceased was said to have taken a rope and tied it up to a bamboo tree. But his first and second attempts to kill himself failed while the other kids were begging him to stop.

    “It was the third attempt that on a stronger Indian bamboo tree that the rope strangled him to death.

    “That action jolted the other kids, who ran back to the village to report the incident to the family and villagers elders”.

    When the elders quickly thronged the scene, they called in the police who assisted in bringing down the corpse and deposited same to the morgue.

    It further gathered that one of the things found on the deceased were four batteries, which some villagers said he might have intended to drink as poison.

  • New Year Tragedy! Three children of same parents burn to death in Ibadan

    New Year Tragedy! Three children of same parents burn to death in Ibadan

    Tragedy struck in Ibadan on Friday , when three children of same parents were killed in a midnight inferno after they were said to have been locked inside their apartment located at Ehin Grammar Area of Molete, Ibadan.

    Hundreds of sympathisers thronged the home where the incident occurred early Friday morning , while others were wailing , others were shouting the name of God over the sad occurence .

    Many of the sympathisers were seen asking how the children could have been locked up without both parents at home. Some among them , mostly women , were furious at the parents who were said to be away when the tragedy happened.

    One of the women , who gave her name as Adijat rained curses on the parents for what she described as sheer negligence .

    The one storey building was said to be one of the oldest in the area occupied by tenants , while the owners were not available for comment.

    The cause of the inferno , which they said started late in the midnight could not be immediately ascertained, but neighbours said it was from a candle light that caught some flammable objects in the room that led to the fire incident.

    The eldest, of the children, it was gathered was a secondary school student whose name was given as Glory while the two others were said to be in primary school.

    The father of the children, whose name was given as Baba Ara, an electrician, was said to have left the children in the room last night but no one could ascertain where he had gone to while the inferno lasted.

    His wife, also known as Iya Ara, was said to have gone to work as she was on a night shift.

    When contacted, the Oyo State Police Command spokesman , a Superintendent of Police ( SP) , Gbenga Fadeyi confirmed the incident.

    Fadeyi In a statement said “on 3rd January 2020 at the early hours, there was a fire incident at No 6, Orisunbare street, Eyin Grammar Ibadan where three children Glory Emmanuel, female, aged 14 years, Samuel Emmanuel, male, aged eight years, Darasimi Emmanuel, female, aged three years of the same mother were burnt to death in a eight rooms apartment.”

    He added that the “the Police have commenced investigation as to the cause of the fire incident.”

  • Parents now sell children for cheap ransom to survive under Buhari’s govt – Ozekhome

    Lawyer, Mike Ozekhome, SAN, has lamented the sorry state of affairs in Nigeria which clocked 59 years on Tuesday, saying the citizens now live like walking corpses due to poverty and hunger in the land.

    He further said parents now sell their children to survive in a country which was once the biggest economy in Africa and the 3rd fastest growing in the world.

    According to a statement made available to press, titled, “Tears, Sorrow, Blood, Lamentation for Nigeria at 59,” the lawyer said, “Parents now sell their children to survive and the children do likewise. Husbands kidnap wives and wives kidnap husbands’ for cheap ransom.”

    Ozekhome said, “Tears. Sorrow. Blood. Pains. Pangs. Anger. Hunger. Melancholy. Dejection. Hopelessness. Haplessness. Disillusionment. Poverty. Ignorance. Termites and maggots eat up the national edifice.

    “Chaos and anarchy reign supreme. Impunity triumphs. Irredentism, cronyism, clannishness and nepotism strut around like a proud peacock. Corruption multiplies geometrically, ravaging the land.

    “Nigeria is now the second most corrupt country in West Africa and one of the 148 most corrupt in the world. Rule of law is subsumed, human rights crushed, Democracy is vanquished.

    “Even basic civil liberties are suppressed and subjugated. Judges are brutalised, humiliated and denigrated, for doing their jobs.

    “The Judiciary is weakened, traumatised, pauperised. The legislators haemourrage the national purse with fantastic and indefensible out-of-the-world pay packets. The Executive acts imperiously, untramelled, uncontrolled, like Louis X14 of France.

    “The cabal holds the nation down by the jugular. Less than 20 people dictate the fate of 200 million Nigerians. There are no checks and balances. Absolutism, dictatorship, fascism, brutality, bestride our democratic space like a colossus. Yet, the people, the Civil Society, remain docile, complicit, frightened and cowed.

    “Mediocrity is enthroned in place of meritocracy. Hypocrisy, lies, revisionism, propaganda are elevated, celebrated and dressed in the false garb of truth and patriotism. Genuine criticism, dissent, opposition, plurality of views, are treated as treason, and at best as treasonable felony. Nigerians now murmur, rather than discuss freely.

    “Soliloquy and monologue take the place of robust dialogue. Nigerians now live like walking corpses, like the living dead. The common man and woman languish in abject penury. The middle class diminishes. Industries relocate to neighbouring countries. Massive disinvestment becomes the order of the day.

    “Nigeria, once upon a time the biggest economy in Africa and the 3rd fastest growing in the world, is today the poverty capital of the world. Parents now sell their children to survive and the children do like wise. Husbands kidnap wives and wives husbands for cheap ransom.

    “Insecurity becomes the order of the day. Boko Haram, herdsmen, kidnappers, armed robbers, hired assassins, control our highways, pathways and forest routes. Nigeria has been turned into a gruesome crimson field of bloodbath.

    “There is mass suicide and homicide. Mass unemployment is the order of the day. Retrenchment becomes a norm. Education and certificates are racketeered. Children learn under uncovered roofs in rain, storm and sun, sitting on bare floor.

    “Graduates roam the streets without jobs. Our beautiful daughters and sisters are sold into second slavery as sex objects. Young able-bodied men take to kidnapping, armed robbery, internet scams and Otokoto rituals. Money bags are celebrated, no matter the illicit sources of their wealth.

    “The church and the mosque are complicit in this societal degeneration. Morals, ethics, values, recede into the abyss of historical oblivion. Prices of food have gone out of the of the roofs, leaving the poor prostrate and defeated. The tail now wags the dog, the leaders molest the people whose mandate they utilise.

    “They laugh the people to scorn, exploit them, beat them, scourge them, impoverish them and misuse them. God, where, when, how and why did we find ourselves in this scandalous state of nadir, doldrums and national calamity? Nigeria at 59!!! A woman still crawling, misused, dehumanised and degraded. There will still be sunshine at the end of the storm. Yes, a silver lining on a dark cloudy sky. God help us.”

  • Suicide: Stop placing unrealistic expectations on your children – FG tells parents

    The Federal Government on Saturday called on parents to be patient with their children and wards in their academic performances to reduce the wave of suicide.
    The Permanent Secretary, Federal Ministry of Education, Mr Sonny Echono, made the call at the 11th annual Speech/Prize Giving Day and Valedictory Service of the Federal Science and Technical College, Yaba, Lagos.
    “We must make deliberate efforts to stem the tide of suicide that is rising in our society.
    “This starts from the actions we take after a ceremony like this,” Echono said.
    He said that parents should not have unrealistic expectations from their children or mount other pressures that could lead to frustration.
    The official urged students to be focused and disciplined as well as strive to do their best at all times.
    He re-iterated the commitment of the Federal Government to restructure the school system for more effective teaching and learning.
    According to Echono, the restructuring will facilitate students’ excellence and development of skills for self-reliance.
    He said that education remained the legacy required in building and sustaining any nation.
    “There is no country in the world that can rise above the level of education of its citizenry.
    “We wiil, therefore, continue to do our best in ensuring that our plans of restructuring the education system is achieved in the near future,” he said.
    The official called on other stakeholders in the sector to cooperate with the government in realising the dream,” he said.
    In her remarks, the Director, Technology and Science Education in the ministry, Mrs Elizabeth Adedigba, said that the Federal Government was planning to establish skill acquisition centres across the country.
    According to her, the plan is in an effort to tackle the rising rate of unemployment among young school leavers.
    “The Federal Government has already set up a committee to look into this. These skill centres are going to be established across all the six geo-political zones.
    “This is a place where we also plan to train out-of-school children.
    “Already, there are centres established by both public and private stakeholders but we plan to harmonise them and see how we can achieve this one big common goal.
    “We are also planning to resuscitate the Technical Teachers’ Training programme that will enable us to train teachers and thereafter send them to various schools to train children and equip them with hands-on-skills,” Adedigba said.
    She enjoined the graduating students to think critically, adding that intelligence combined with character was important.
    “As responsible young adults and worthy ambassador of this college and the society at large, you also need to be courageous and learn to be yourself always,” she said.
    In her address of welcome, the Principal of the college, Dr Ogochuku Ufoegbune, said that there was the need for overhaul of the education curriculum to suit the work need of the society.
    According to her, a way out of unemployment is to establish more technical and vocational schools.
    She also said that there was the need for re-orientation of parents on technical education.
    “We must begin to tell ourselves the truth as stakeholders when it comes to technical education in this country.
    “The sooner we all realise that a way out of unemployment is skill acquisition or hand-on-training, especially for our children, the better for us as individuals and acountry.
    “Ours is a technical college; some of my students graduating here today are good to go.
    ”They are already equipped with those skills that will enable them to start their own little businesses, and that is the way to go.
    “In all, therefore, we should redirect our system of education,” she said.
    Ufoegbune said that the technical workshops of the institution were fully functional.
    She said that before now, most of the equipment in the 19 technical workshops were obsolete, adding that with the intervention of government and other key stakeholders, they started full operations.
    “Our printing section, electrical and engineering sections are working to full capacities, with their equipment fully revitalised with standby generators.”
    The principal, however, said that the college was in need of more classrooms and hostels to take care of increasing population of students.
    “This is about one of the largest secondary schools in the country; as a result, we need more accommodation to cater for our staff and students to enhance teaching and learning,” she said.
    The college’s Parent Teacher Association Chairman, Mr Olisa Anene, called on parents to partner with the college in instilling discipline in students.
    He also urged parents to monitor their children’s activities and seek to discover and develop th6e innate talents.